Did Jesus Reject His Family?

Establishment of the Family

The family was created by God. Therefore, God gets to define the family and how the family should function.

Genesis 2:24 NASB95

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

So any discussion about separation of church and state in relation to the family, must recognize that this is a church issue not a state issue. The state does not have the right or authority to redefine the family or the purpose of the family or the function of the family.

The Family Under Attack

The definition, purpose and function of the family has been under attack from the culture to appease their sin and rejection of God. We see from the beginning that sin’s affect brought about the attack on the family. We see Cain killing Abel; a failure of the function of the family. We see that it was not long before men started marrying multiple wives; redefining the family. We see by the time of Moses people demanded God allow for divorce; the failure of the purpose of family.

In America the family is under attack like never before. The attack on the family in the last 100 years in American has increased at an alarming rate. It has exponential increase year over year.

Divorce

Kramer vs. Kramer - Hollywood’s influence

When I was a child I remember watching the movie, Kramer vs. Kramer. It was a late 1970s movie that normalized the idea of divorce. Watching it I thought it strange a movie about divorce. I did not know anyone who was divorced or whose parents were divorce. To me it was a foreign concept. It was also the first time I realized how Hollywood affects the culture.

After that movie divorce became something that could be talked about without shame. In fact Roger Ebert in the Chicago Sun-Times on April 29, 2010 said, “Kramer vs. Kramer reflected a cultural shift which occurred during the 1970s, when ideas about motherhood and fatherhood were changing. The film was widely praised for the way in which it gave equal weight and importance to both Joanna and Ted's points of view.” This was Hollywood’s pushing an agenda to attack the family.

No fault divorce

At the some time came no fault divorce. No fault divorce was first signed into law in the 1970s in California by then Governor Roland Reagan. No fault divorce “is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce). This type of divorce does not require any reason to dissolve the marriage covenant. It allows people to just walk away without reason.

LGTB+

The LGTB+ has moved from a curse that they suffered with in our culture to a cross, which was a burden they had to bear to a crown that everyone must celebrate.

LGTB+ pushed to get the government to step into the church issue of the definition of marriage. This push got to the Supreme Court, where they redefined marriage to allow to same sex couples to marry. The major issue is that it is not a state issue. Marriage is defined by God, not the government or a court. However, this redefinition allows for further changes in the biblical view of marriage and even more so the definition of the family.

Now a family is no longer defined as a husband and wife with possibly children. To fit LGTB+ it became two loving, consensual parents and children. Therefore, the gender of the parents no longer matters. How do two same sex parents have children? They cannot. They must adopt. This definition of the family goes further now because now we cannot refer to sons or daughters because it must be fluid. This can be seen even more in the Black Lives Matter movement.

Black Lives Matter

Black lives matter is a marxist organization that uses that slogan to force acceptance. Do black lives matter? Of course they do! They matter because they are made in the image of God. All lives matter to God and thus all lives matter to us. However, for what does Black Lives Matter stand? Nine of their 13 goals are related to promoting LGBT+ not black issues. But they do not stop there. Two of their goals are:

“We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement”

“We dismantle the patriarchal practice”

The major issue in the black community is that breakdown of the family. Fatherlessness is rampage in the black community and most people know that is the cause of the lack of education, crime, drugs, etc. However, the goals of Black Lives Matter will further the problem. That is good for the organization that is making millions of dollars and solves nothing. In fact, they are contributing to the very problem that they claim they want to solve.

Polygamy

Polygamy is a current issue in culture to attack the family. Polygamy is the having multiple people in a sexual relationship called a marriage. There are states currently considering laws to allow three or more people to be married together. It will not stop there though.

Minor Attracted Peoples (MAPs)

The next attack that is on the forefront of our culture are Minor Attracted Peoples (MAPs). We used to call this pedophilia. It used to be criminal, but now they are using the same practices of LGTB+ to gain acceptance. Soon we may start seeing states allowing 40 year old men to marry 10 year old girls, or even boys.

Beastiality

We might this it could not get worse than that. Unfortunately it could. There is already a woman suing for the right to marry her cat. That is correct. She wants to redefine marriage to include a relationship between humans and animals. Clearly they must drop the idea of consent, as an animal cannot consent to marriage. What is next? Guys marrying their computers or TVs?

So when we approach the discuss on the family we must understand that God’s design for the family is and has always been under attack. This affects the view that some have with our text. At the root of this text is that some argue that Jesus rejects and even abandons His family. Those that want to attack the biblical definition, purpose and function of the family turn to this passage to claim that we too can abandon and reject the traditional view of the family for a new, progressive view of the family. We must start with the context for background.

Jesus Returns Home

We see Jesus was returning to his hometown. He came to those that were His close kinsmen. However, there was a great crowd that formed when He came to town.

The Great Crowd

Mark 3:20 NASB95

And He came home, and the crowd gathered again, to such an extent that they could not even eat a meal.

Jesus comes to town and the crowd gathered was so great that it was more than standing room only. It was so packed with people that they were right on top of each other, such that they did not even have the room to raise a piece of food to their mouth.

We know that Jesus was inside a building or a home because in verse 31 we will see that His mother and brothers were outside. So in order for them to be outside means that He must be inside. Therefore, the people crowded into this house or building so tightly to hear Jesus that there was no room to move. It could be that so many heard of the miracles that He had done everywhere He went and they wanted to be in the building to see for themselves a miracle.

Family Reaction

Then we see the reaction of His family. We might think that they are glad to see Him. He had been traveling for some time, which was not common in those days to be away from home. One could think they wanted to see Him and spend time with Him. However, that is not what we see.

Mark 3:21 NASB95

When His own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, “He has lost His senses.”

The term His own people means close kinsmen or relationships. These are people that would be close family to Jesus. So His close family, we will learn later in verse 31 that it was His mother and brothers, heard that Jesus was in town and that the crowds were coming to hear Him.

However, the text makes it clear that His family was not coming to see him but to hide Him. They wanted to take custody of Him. The term to take custody means to seize; arrest; take possession of; rule over; control or to have power over. They were coming to get Him out of there by force. This is important to our text and the question, did Jesus reject His family.

Cast out of the Synagogue

Jesus’ family wanted to remove Him and stop Him for doing what He came to do. There could be many reasons for this. One reason that could explain why Jesus’ family wanted to seize Him is that they could be cast out of the synagogue. We know that in John 12:42 that the rulers where making this threat.

John 12:42 NASB95

Nevertheless many even of the rulers believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue;

Could it be that Jesus’ family was afraid that they could be put out of the synagogue? The synagogue was the heart and center of Jewish life, for both liturgical and non-liturgical life. The synagogue origins date back to the 5th-3rd cent. B.C. with the gentile captivity. The purpose was for liturgical studies; religious actives that include Torah reading, prayer, fasts, festival observance and other religious rituals. It is also the place also of non-liturgical studies. It is a place of public functions such as treasuries, archives, school, law courts and council halls. The synagogue was an important feature, if not the central feature, of Jewish life. Jewish tradition dates the origin to the time of Moses but the Old Testament and historical documents do not support this claim.

As we understand the purpose and function of the synagogue, we can see why Jesus’ family could be concerned. However, the development of the rulers getting to the point of putting people out of the synagogue was a later development in the ministry of Jesus Christ. This is still early in the ministry of Christ and they may not have gotten to the point to make this threat yet. So are there other possible reasons?

To Preserve the Family Reputation

Another reason could be that they may have wanted to preserve their reputation in the community. We can assume that there was talk about Jesus that got back to His family in their hometown. How might the town react to the claims that Jesus was doing miracles and claiming that He is God. Well, Jesus will state in Mark 6:4:

Mark 6:4 NASB95

Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.”

Jesus knows that a prophet does not receive honor in his hometown. So Jesus did not expect honor when He came to town. Jesus knew that in a hometown where people watched a prophet to grow and then leave town to proclaim God’s Word and often God’s judgment, that they still think of the prophet as a child growing up.

Remember, this was a time when most people never traveled more then one mile outside their hometown. Everyone knew each other in town, unlike today. Everyone knew their neighbors and knew their neighbor’s business. They did not have the divisions between neighbors like we have today, especially in the small towns.

Many scholars believe that the reason Jesus’ family wanted to get Him out of there was because He was the talk of the town and not in a good way. The town was probably gossiping about Him and doubting the claims of Deity. His claim to Deity is a strong claim and the one that the Jewish leaders made the central issue of their contention. It is hard to believe anyone that claims to be God, but how much harder for someone that you watched grow up, even if you never saw Him sin.

One possible reason that His family wanted to stop Jesus from doing God’s work on earth in their town could be because they wanted to spare themselves and their reputations. If that is true, then their purpose selfish and not godly. They would have been actually interfering with the work and will of God. We must keep this in mind when we examine verses 31-35.

Family Arrives

Before Mark gets to explaining what happens when Jesus’ family arrived, he explained the reaction of the scribes when He casted out of a demon from someone. As Mark returns to the family we come to our text Mark 3:31-35.

Mark 3:31 NASB95

Then His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him.

We see in our text who the family members are that would coming to get Jesus. There is a textual variant in this verse and some manuscripts include His sisters also. The scholars believe that the best reading is as we have here in the NASB that it was His mother and brothers. Could His sisters have joined them? I am sure that any of His sisters would have also joined them, even if it was not recorded in Scripture.

It is interesting to note that there is no mention of Jospeh. Many commentators believe that the reason for this is that Jospeh had already died. If that was the case than Jesus would have become the head of the family and that too could explain why His family was coming out to take Him by force.

Mark 3:32 NASB95

A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You.”

The setting is that Jesus is inside a building with a great crowd. His mother and brothers were outside and could not get inside. Maybe they sent word into the build from one person to another to get to Jesus to let Him know that His family was outside and wanted Him to come out to them. They could not get in and maybe they assumed that Jesus would come out to them if they got word to Him. It could have made it easier for them to get Jesus out of there and back home for a talking to. However, Jesus, being omniscience, knew their plan and God’s will and they were not in line.

Remember that almost everyone in that room probably know one another and more so they know Jesus’ family. There are a few possibilities about what the crowd is doing here. Some would say that the crowd is trying to challenge Jesus to stop doing what He is doing and to honor and submit to His family. Many that hold to this view believe that just like the family was concerned about their reputation, so was the rest of the town. Yet the townsmen were so crowded in that they could not move. The crowd probably were there because, though they did not believe that Jesus was God, they still wanted to see for themselves a work of God.

It is not likely that the crowd was saying this as a challenge, even though in the context the scribes were just challenging Him. It is more likely that the family could not get inside so they passed the message from one person to another, much like the telephone game, but without the corruption of the message or like when we were in grammar school and someone would want to pass a note to someone on the other side of the room to other without the teaching knowing. That note is passed from person to person with the instruction to who the final person the note is to be given to.

Jesus was probably teaching and answering the scribes and person to person they are trying to tell Jesus that His family is outside waiting for Him. Maybe they, like His family, were concerned about their own reputation and wanted it to stop. It is more likely that they were just passing the message forward to Jesus from His family. Either way it leads Jesus to ask a question.

The Question

Mark 3:33 NASB95

Answering them, He said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”

Did Jesus Reject His Family?

This question makes some claim that Jesus was rejecting His family. It is also a question that some use to walk away from family when they get saved. Same try to say that Jesus was teaching that once we get saved we no longer have any obligation to our family but only to our new spiritual family. Some will take Mark 3:33-34 with other verses like Matthew 10:35

Matthew 10:35 NASB95

“For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;

These Christians are practicing the same practice as the selfish, religious Jewish people in Mark 7:11, who avoiding their biblical responsibility to care for their family. They were to care for their parents, but instead called all their money as corban, which is to declare it all God’s. Thus, they would manage God’s money but could not use it to care for their aging parents.

Mark 7:11 NASB95

but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’

Jesus was in no way attempting to reject His family. As we have already seen, the issue was not His family but the purpose. It came down to obeying God’s will or His family’s will. It is clear that when faced with a decision to choose between obedience to God or obedience to man, even government, we are to choose God. This is what we see with Peter in Acts 5:29:

Acts 5:29 NASB95

But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

This leaves us with the question, why did Jesus ask this question? What was He teaching? We can see that the reason He did not go out to His family was because it was not God’s will but man’s will. However, Jesus never misses an opportunity to teach and was always willing to use every day events to do it. Jesus used this event with His biological family to talk about His spiritual family.

Spiritual Family

Mark 3:34–35 NASB95

Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! “For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus speaks to His spiritual family as those that do the will of God. So we as believers should be closer than family. We are an eternal family. Jesus is making a distinction between biological family and spiritual family and the greater importance is on the spiritual family without rejecting the biological family unless the biological family is a hindrance to the will of God. So, it is not rejection but prioritization.

The Will of God

When it comes to the will of God we will ask three questions: 1) what is the will of God, 2) what is the product of the will of God and 3) can we find the will of God.

What is the will of God?

But what does it mean to do the will of God? The phase the “will of God” appears 23 times in the Bible and only in the New Testament.

Our Sanctification is the Will of God

1 Thessalonians 4:2–3 NASB95

For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;

Paul explains that our sanctification is the will of God. Sanctification is the that begins at regeneration and continues until moment we die. Sanctification is the process that God uses to make us more like Christ. So Paul is saying that our sanctification is the will of God, specifically relating to abstaining from sexual immorality. When you ask what is the will of God? The will of God is that you live more like Christ every day! The will of God is that you abstain from sexual immorality.

Obeying the Government is the Will of God

1 Peter 2:13–15 NASB95

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Peter states that the will of God is to obey the government. Therefore, submitting yourself to every human institution and authority is acting in the will of God. We often do not think of our obedience to government as fulfilling the will of God, but it is. Peter says that obeying the government not only is the will of God but is also going to produce the silence of foolish man.

Shepherding the Church is the Will of God

1 Peter 5:2 NASB95

shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness;

Peter states that caring for our follow church members is the will of God. Those that are pastors are serving as the will of God when they lead the church not by force. He goes further to say that it should be with eagerness and not for selfish gain.

What is the product of the will of God?

Suffering is a Product of the Will of God

1 Peter 4:19 NASB95

Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

We often do not want to think about it, but suffering is actually a product of the will of God. According to Peter obeying the will of God will produce suffering. This may make many of us want to avoid obeying the will of God. But God has a purpose in our suffering and it produces greater faith. Peter says those of us who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator. Peter even clarifies this and says it is doing what is right.

Godly Sorrow is a Product of the Will of God

2 Corinthians 7:10 NASB95

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.

Not only is our suffering a product of the will of God, but so is our sorrow. Sorrow that leads to repentance is a product of the will of God. We want to avoid sorrow. However, sorrow is a product of the will of God. We are in the will of God when godly sorrow leads to godly repentance.

Repentance is a Product of the Will of God

2 Corinthians 7:9 NASB95

I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us.

Paul argues that our repentance is a product of the will of God. He speaks to the Corinthians who had sorrow and says that their sorrow has led to repentance and that this repentance is the will of God. So, Paul does not want them to be sorrowful yet he is glad that their sorrow led them to repentance and that this repentance is the will of God. Now in second Corinthians Paul is speaking to believers, therefore this is not repentance of salvation, but repentance of sin. So when we repent of our sin, turning from sin to Christ, that is a product of the will of God.

The Gospel is a Product of the Will of God

1 Peter 4:6 NASB95

For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may live in the spirit according to the will of God.

All of this leads to the greatest product of the will of God, the gospel. The gospel is a product of the will of God. As Peter says the gospel has the purpose that makes dead men live.

The gospel is to be preached.

The gospel is to be preached to those who seem dead.

The gospel is to be preached to those who seem dead that they may be judged in the flesh.

The gospel is to be preached of those who seem dead that they may be judged in the flesh but become alive in the spirit.

This is the will of God!

Can we find the will of God?

So the question that is often asked is, can we find the will of God? The answer is a simple, yes. As we have already seen, those of us that know the gospel are in the will of God. Those of us were being sanctified are in the will of God. Those of us will obey authorities are in the will of God.

Many want to know what the will of God is for their life. They ask this question as if God has some secret will that is difficult to find. God's will is easy. In every decision that you have to make, choose that which God would make. However, sometimes the answers are not clear. Sometimes Scripture does not provide a clear answer to how we should make a decision. In those cases we look for the principles of Scripture to help us in making the right decision. If there are no principles that we can apply to the choice that we have to make, then we apply the best wisdom that God has given us to make a decision. Sometimes this wisdom will include getting advice from a multitude of godly counselors. Sometimes this wisdom will include making a list of pros and cons to determine if there are any principles we can see to help us in making a decision. But ultimately God provides us with wisdom to make decisions.

So if the Scriptures not clear on the subject to make a decision, and there are no principles that we can rightly apply, than we rely on the wisdom that God has given us. And if we feel that we lack wisdom God provides a solution to that as well. God says in James 1:5, that if we lack wisdom, ask of God and he will give it generously and without reproach. This is how we find the will of God. Those that do the will of God are in the family of Jesus Christ.