Disciplining the Sheep

Don’t Read This Line - God’s Holy Desire for the Church

How many of you have ever bought a new car, and been terrified to scratch it?

I’ve known people who park in the last spot in an aisle of a parking lot, just so no one opens their car door, and puts a ding in the brand new car.

You buy that car, and you want it to remain new and fresh.

Most people don’t sit in a new car and say, “Get me some Febreeze, because I can’t stand that new car smell!”

They get that new car, and they want it to stay a new car.

It’s always a sad day when you get the license plates for a new car, because once you put them on, it’s no longer a new car.

It’s now just like every other car out there.

That desire for cleanliness and perfection, that’s what Christ has for His church.

Before we go into our main text, look at I Peter 2:9 with me.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

This is Christ’s desire for the church.

Not just desire, but expectation.

It’s the reality of what you are.

You are a chosen race.

A chosen people.

Out of all the people on the earth, the Lord sovereignly chose you!

Not because you deserved it.

No, we were dead in our trespasses and sinned.

He saved you, gave you grace, in order to bring Himself glory.

A royal priesthood.

People who exist in the service and worship of our God and king.

A holy nation.

We are a distinct people.

We have been set apart from the rest of the people.

We have a king.

We have a new law, a law of love.

A people of his possession.

He owns us.

He purchased us with the life of Christ Jesus.

The precious blood of Jesus is what it cost the Father to make you His own.

This is no small thing.

I was about 8 years old, it was a cold rainy day, and my parents bought a blue Ford Aerostar.

It was a minivan, when they weren’t quite so mini.

It was one of the first vans to have a sliding side door, so parents could put their kids in the back without having to go from one side of the car to the other.

It was a cold, rainy, dark night, when we finally left the dealership.

I sat in the back of the van, and watched the windows of the van slowly fog over.

It was warmer inside then it was outside.

I started drawing on the condensation that formed on the windows.

I wrote my name.

I drew smiley faces.

My parents weren’t so happy about it.

I had left greasy finger prints all over the vans brand new windows.

We weren’t even home yet.

And I had left my mark on it.

They wanted that brand new car to stay brand new.

Christ’s desire for us is that we stay brand new.

Christ’s desire for His church is that we be holy, and that we remain holy.

His death on the cross removed all sin.

Every stain of sin was removed.

Though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be white as snow.

Christ’s goal is for you to be holy, and distinct.

He has an expectation of holiness.

For example, in the early chapters of Acts, the church was selling their possessions and sharing with one another.

There was a couple, named Ananias and Sapphira.

They sold what they had, and claimed to give it all to the church.

But in reality, they had kept some back.

They lied about how much they gave.

They were confronted on this matter.

Peter said, “You have not lied to man but to God.”

And Ananias fell down dead.

About 3 hours later, they confronted the wife, Sapphira.

They gave her a chance to tell the truth.

She lied.

And she too fell down dead.

Acts 5:11 says, “And great fear came upon the whole church and upon all who heard of these things.”

God takes the holiness of His church seriously.

God is not only serious about the holiness of His church, but He desires his Church to be serious about her holiness.

There is an expectation that we pursue holiness.

And that we have this expectation of others.

God desires His church to be holy, and we are to share this same desire.

This is done through a process called church discipline.

So how do we do this?

We look to Christ’s words.

These aren’t Luke’s Words.

This aren’t my advice.

These are Christ’s words.

These are Christ’s words for the church that He bought.

These are Christ’s commands for how to have a holy church.

Let’s see how this is done.

Turn in your Bibles to Matthew 18:15-20.

Read Matthew 18:15-20.

In this text, Jesus gives us 4 steps to dealing with the situation of sin in the church.

Here’s the situation, a brother has sinned.

As we begin, we begin with this sad truth, Christians sin.

Jesus says, “If your brother sins ...”

This isn’t some pagan or an unbeliever.

This is a brother.

This is a fellow believer.

It could be anyone.

A young believer

An old believer.

An elder.

A pastor.

A teacher.

There is no distinction here.

It can be any one of us.

And it will disappoint you.

It will hurt.

Because it’s a sin against you.

If your brother sins

The idea, is that this is a fellow believer with an unconfessed sin.

Unlike the man in Corinth who was boldly having an affair with his step mom.

Paul didn’t give these steps of church discipline to that church or that man.

He never said talk to him, or bring it before the church.

Why?

Because in Corinth, the adulterous man knew about his sin.

In fact, the whole church knew about his sin, and they accepted it.

Paul told the Corinthians, “Let him who has done this be removed from among you.”

This is different.

In Matthew 18, Jesus is talking about a brother who has not been confronted about His sin.

He has not repented of it.

He has not been approached about it.

He may not even know about His sin.

He might be sinning and thinking he’s getting away with it.

Either way, we don’t ignore a brother who sins.

Jesus then gives us 4 steps to deal with a sinning brother.

Step One - Go and Tell Him.

Go and tell him.

So you’ve been sinned against.

Someone has hurt you.

Done something to disappoint you.

Now who is responsible for patching things up?

Normally, we think it’s the one who did the wrong.

But that’s not what Jesus says.

Matthew 18:15 - ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

Who goes?

You go.

Yes, you’re the one that is sinned against, but Christ has called for you to take the initiative.

You don’t wait for the other person.

You don’t wait for them to make the first move.

You don’t wait for them to even apologize.

You don’t wait for them to hit rock bottom.

You make the first move.

You go to them.

Jesus is serious here.

He’s not messing around.

Verse 15 has 2 commands, “go and tell him his fault”

Go

And tell.

Maybe a brother sins, and you begin to talk yourself out of the sin.

You tell yourself, it’s not that big of a deal.

Let me give you 3 reasons why your brother’s sin is a big deal and should be acted on.

First, it’s offensive to Christ.

We feel the affects of sin.

When a friend lies to you, it hurts your feelings.

When a spouse cheats on a spouse, it harms the marriage relationship.

But ultimately, all sin is against God.

When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, then conspired her husband’s death, he prayed

"Against you, you only have I sinned ...”

Bathsheba and Uriah certainly felt the affects of David’s sin.

But ultimately his sin was against God.

And the same with your sinning brother.

His sin is against God.

Hurts you, but it’s against God.

Second, sin needs to be acted on because it’s how we show love.

I would say most Christians are not in churches where church discipline is not done.

The thought of confronting people on their sin is seen as judgmental, and critical.

So instead of obeying Christ and pursuing holiness within the church, the church compromises, and presents a false love.

Donald Trump would call it fake love.

Most churches put on an attitude of fake love that says, “There’s no such thing as perfect people. We accept you just the way you are.”

They embrace the sinner, and never address the sinners sin, because it might offend them, and run them off.

If the wages of sin is death.

If sin offensive to Christ.

If Hell is the price of sin, how can we let others continue in it?

You know what real love looks like?

Real love addresses sin.

Instead of fearing the Lord, and desiring holiness, the church compromises, and out of a false love, embraces people in their sin, not wanting to offend them.

Transfer this to your children.

If you never correct your children, because you’re afraid of offending them, you’re going to raise a little spoiled hell spawn narcissist.

Because he’s never told he’s wrong.

Do you know how you show your love to your children?

By disciplining them.

Proverbs 13:24 - “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

You address your child’s sin.

It’s there.

It’s in his heart.

Proverbs 22:15 says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”

You don’t leave them in that state of ignorance.

A way to show love to the church, to other Christians is by addressing sin.

And the third reason why sin needs to be acted on is it preserves the church.

Galatians 5:9 says, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.”

If sin is left undealt with in the church, it festers.

It grows.

It spreads.

It contaminates the church.

Therefore, if you have a love for the church at large, you will act on sin.

The responsibility is on you.

Church discipline does not begin with the elders, or leaders of the church.

It begins with the individuals in the church.

It starts with you.

It doesn’t say, go and grab an elder and confront the sinner.

It doesn’t say, go and tell and elder and make it his problem.

It says, “You go, and tell him his fault.”

Here is another imperative.

You approach the person.

And you start to the conversation.

You tell the person his fault, you bring the sin to light.

You let the person know that he has sinned, and how he has sinned.

I probably should have said this earlier, but make sure that whatever you are addressing is a real sin.

It can’t be a matter of preference.

“I came to your house for dinner, and what you did to those steaks is a sin!”

We aren’t talking about preference.

We are talking about sin.

Come with your Bible open.

Chapter and verse.

Not only do you go, but notice how you go, verse 15, ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. ...”

When approaching the person, it’s just the two of you.

You go alone.

You don’t bring anyone with you.

At this point it’s a private matter.

You don’t involve anyone else.

You don’t tell anyone else.

If you tell anyone about the problem before going to the person who has sinned against you, it’s now gossip.

It’s slander.

You have added to the problem.

There have been times when someone within the church has had a problem with someone else, but they don’t follow this model.

They don’t do this first step.

They don’t go privately.

Instead they involve others.

They go to the elders.

They tell a friend.

They tell a couple of friends.

And what ends up happening is the church is gossiping about a private matter.

This is between two people.

It’s no one else’s business at this point.

And by not following this step a new sin is added to the original sin, there is now gossip.

Layers of sin become added to the original sin.

And this is when big problems develop.

Church, I take this very seriously.

If you have a problem with someone, you go to the individual.

Don’t come.

Don’t go to an elder.

Go to the individual.

Together we need to be committed to this.

Don’t listen to a problem that someone has with another.

Don’t listen to it.

If you are going to comment anything, it’s to be obedient to this text.

Tell the person coming to you, ‘You know, maybe you should go and talk to Jerry about this.”

And notice the purpose behind this.

Look at the end of verse 18, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

This is about fixing a relationship.

This isn’t about winning an argument.

This isn’t about winning a battle, or proving that you are the better Christian.

This is about gaining a brother.

Step one is church discipline.

And guess what, it should be going on and no one ever knows.

Because it’s happening between individuals.

And how do you know when you’ve been listened to?

First, there is an acknowledgment of sin.

Owning the sin.

Something that our culture doesn’t do very often.

It’s always the other person’s fault.

But when you’ve been listened to, the offending party admits that what he did was wrong.

Second, he repents.

It’s more than just acknowledging sin.

There is an actual change.

Behavior stops.

I’m sure this is difficult for some of you.

You’d much rather either avoid people, run away, or maybe even leave.

None of those options are holy, right, or obedient.

This is a demonstration of love.

Galatians records a time when Paul and Peter were on opposite sides of an argument.

In Galatians 2, Paul did just this.

He confronted Peter.

It says, “I opposed him to his face.”

Could you imagine going toe to toe with Peter, one of the lead disciples?

That’s what Paul did.

And the result?

I’m sure it was hard.

It was a debate.

But in the end, Paul gained a brother.

The relationship wasn’t destroyed.

II Peter 3:15, Peter called Paul, “our beloved brother Paul”.

These conversations are hard, but they are also some of the most authentic conversations you’ll ever have.

These painful conversations, saying these hard truths, are the proof that these are the relationships worth fighting for.

And when you have these conversations, do them in love.

Remember who this person is.

He’s a brother.

He’s someone that Christ died for.

Remember that love covers a multitude of sins.

Hope for the best.

Don’t go looking for a fight.

I Corinthians 13:7 - “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

What if step one doesn’t work.

Then we move to Step Two.

Look at verse 16

“But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

He doesn’t listen.

He doesn’t repent.

He continues in sin.

Jesus then says to take one or two with you, and together you confront the person.

Why do you take witnesses?

There is wisdom.

As they sit in on the conversation, and they hear what has happened, they can confirm that a sin actually happened, and attempt to persuade the sinning party.

Or, you might be the offended party, and after hearing the conversation the witnesses tell you that what you are upset about isn’t a sin.

You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.

But the other reason for a witness is that this person can serve as a witness to the process.

If the process gets escalated further, the witness can verify that the person has been confronted.

Sin has been revealed.

Who do you take?

Someone who is knowledgable in the Scriptures.

He needs to be wise.

He needs to be valued by both parties.

Because remember, you aren’t trying to win an argument.

You aren’t trying to bring someone who will prove your point.

You are trying to bring reconciliation and see a brother, repent of sin.

You are trying to gain a brother.

So take someone that your brother respects as well.

That said, you can repeat this step.

It might take more than one meeting.

We aren’t trying to rush through these steps as quickly as possible.

It may be a slow process.

And we have to be okay with that.

Because we are dealing with the heart.

But if even after bringing a witness or two, and person still doesn’t repent, then you proceed to Step Three

If the offending party still does not repent, now you bring it before the church

You approach the Elders, and you explain to them the steps that have been done.

You review steps one and two with them.

They might want to get involved as well.

You don’t bring to a court.

We shouldn’t handle our problems in the secular world.

We don’t hire a lawyer, or a court appointed mediator.

We don’t quit.

We use the body that God has given us.

We use the church.

Inform the church.

The church is then filled in on what is happening.

And look at the way it’s framed in verse 17, “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

This is much the same language as before.

Now the church pursues the person.

This is part of our responsibility to each other.

Collectively, we are concerned about the holiness of each other.

Galatians 6:1, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

This is your responsibility.

A man is caught in sin, he’s having an affair.

He’s been confronted.

Privately, and with witnesses.

He refuses to stop.

Now it’s brought before the church.

The church is told that Jerry, or Bobby, whoever his name is, has engaged in adultery.

Now the church pursues him.

Individuals call him out.

They plead with him.

Perhaps you think this is strange, but I’d hope you’d do this for me if I was in that situation.

In fact we are the perfect church for biblical church discipline.

Because we know everyone.

You aren’t being told to pursue someone you’ve never met.

“Hi my name is Luke, are you in sin?”

We’ve got relationships with each other.

We care about each other.

And like in the other steps, our goal is to gain a brother.

We aren’t looking for a fight.

We are hoping to welcome one of Christ’s little ones back into the fold.

The expectation is for there to be repentance.

And lastly, there is Step Four

Look at the middle of verse 17, “And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

This is what we would call excommunication.

Jesus is speaking to the Jews.

At the time, the Gentiles were outside the kingdom of God.

Tax collectors were seen as the worst of the worst.

This means to treat them like an unbeliever.

To remove them from church membership.

To treat him like an unbeliever.

But not just any unbeliever.

A Gentile or a tax collector.

This means to sever the relationship, to cease having fellowship with them.

This means:

No more fellowship.

This means to stop the relationship.

So it’s not just they stop coming to church on Sundays, but you hang out afterwards.

They are like a Gentile or a tax collector to you.

You no longer are around them.

No more lunches after church.

No more get togethers.

They are like a tax collector to you.

Not a relative that isn’t converted.

They have denied the faith, denied the Lord.

II Thessalonians 3:6 says, “Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us.”

If this sounds painful, it should, because it is.

This may sound harsh, but understand, the Lord desires purity in His church.

If a person continues in willful sin, he is not living as a Christian or as someone who Jesus is Lord over.

Therefore, you remove Him.

But always with the hope that He will repent.

Turn from his sin.

And when that happens, you’ve gained a brother.

This comes with the Approval of Christ

Hopefully, church discipline never goes all the way to step 4.

Honestly, it should be worked out in steps 1 or 2, preferably step 1.

And if you have to go through all 4 steps, it’s going to leave a nasty taste in your mouth.

These final 3 verses give us an assurance that what we are doing comes with the approval of Christ.

Look at verse 18-20

“Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

These 3 verses of this passage have been misused for a long time.

Let me give you 3 things that this passage doesn’t mean.

Verse 18 doesn’t mean:

That whatever you decide on earth, obligates God to do it in heaven.

For example, the Roman Catholic Church says that this means the church has the authority to forgive sins.

Verse 19 doesn’t mean that if you can get 2 or 3 people to pray for the same thing that God is obligated to give it to you.

God is not influenced by how many people pray.

He’s not running a ballot, and trying to get people to vote for the will of God.

And verse 20 is not talking about prayer meetings.

Nor is this saying that a church service happens when 2 or 3 people are together.

Remember the context of this passage.

We are talking about church discipline.

It’s a scary thing to remove someone from the church.

It’s a painful thing to remove someone from the church.

And if you have to go through all 4 steps, I’m sure you’re going to wonder if you did the right thing.

Jesus gives us an assurance.

These steps of church discipline are not man made.

They are not something that was dreamed up at some human resources conference on how to have a good work environment.

These are given to us by Jesus Christ, the second member of the Trinity.

He’s saying that if you follow these steps.

You go.

You then bring witnesses.

You bring it before the church.

You haven’t done this in an isolated fashion.

You are being obedient to the Word of God.

God will honor what is done on earth, because it is His will that you have done.

Christ desires a pure church.

And you are following His will for His church.

I’m sure the world around us doesn’t understand any of this.

But the goal of Christ’s church is purity.

He takes this so seriously, because of His nature.

He is spotless.

He is holy.

He alone is good.

He takes this so seriously because of the cost.

While Christ is absolutely perfect, the people that He is saving are not.

In order to cleanse them of sin, it took His life.

He suffered on the cross so that we would live.

Going back to the beginning, you buy a brand new car.

Why do you wash it, and keep it clean?

Because it cost so much.

The price for the church was the life of Christ.

He paid dearly so that we would live.

Southwest Christian Church, let’s turn a new page in the life of our church.

Let’s turn a new page in our relationships.

Let’s be committed to this.

Let’s be the kind of church that can spur one another on in holiness.

I want to be a part of a church body that has a high view of Christ, and therefore a loving view of those He died for.