Funeral, Ben Maxwell

I can’t tell you how moved I am that so many of you have come to show your love and respect for Ben and his family. Death is always a difficult time and your presence has gone a long way toward helping this family in their grief.

As I think about Ben, he loved the helpless, he loved animals and brought them home all the time. Sometimes against Fran and Steve’s will. I remember one of the first times we were at the Maxwell’s house in Windsor, Ben had collected a bunch of toads from the widow wells and snuck them into the house. We could hear them making a suction cup sound as they hopped down the hallway.

He brought in puppies, and stray cats. Even in the last few weeks before his death, he adopted a dog.

He was a young man who loved to bring people together, to unify, to pull them together and to make people feel part of the family.

Steve and Fran you did such a great job loving and raising Ben, pulling in those people he brought around. Even if you didn’t always agree with Ben’s decisions, you let them be Ben’s decisions, and you loved him where he was. You loved him for who he was.

Ander and Natalia in the same way you were great brother and sister to Ben. He loved you both so much. I can remember Ben just wanting to be with you guys, to follow you around. To just be where you were.

As we are all feeling grief, we do want today to be a celebration of Ben’s Life.

And the Bible says it’s actually good for us to be here today.

In Ecclesiastes 7:2, God says this:

Ecclesiastes 7:2 NIV

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.

Why would it be good for us to be here?

Because this is a time for us to remember the life God gave Ben. It’s a time to share our memories and to encourage and lean on each other.

It’s also a time for us to say good-bye to Ben. Saying goodbye is very important for us because Ben meant so much to so many of us.

And, lastly, this is a time to ponder our own mortality. Because one day all of us will die. It’s not a matter of IF we’ll die, but only when. Thus, this is a good time to ask ourselves some basic questions.

Questions like, “Am I ready to die?”

And “Where will I go when my life is over?”

When it comes right down to it, this service is more for us who are living as we remember Ben

In John 11 we read a story of Jesus’ friend who died.

John 11:17–44 NIV

On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” he said. “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

It’s said that Jesus never performed a funeral.

Whenever Jesus came to a funeral the dead rose from the grave.

And when that happened, the funeral was over.

But this funeral is a little different.

This was a funeral for a man who was one of Jesus’ close friends.

His name was Lazarus.

Lazarus had two sisters Mary and Martha and when Jesus arrived 4 days after Lazarus’s death, each of these sisters ran out to Him at different times and said exactly the same thing:

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

They were blaming Jesus for Lazarus being dead.

After all, Jesus could heal the sick.

If he’d been there Lazarus could have been healed and he wouldn’t have died.

At funerals - sometimes - there’s a tendency by some to blame God for death.

“Lord if You could have made it so my loved one wouldn’t have died.”

I’ve learned long ago it is NOT sinful to question God.

It’s OK for you to ask why God would let the one we love die.

Notice, Jesus didn’t scold the sisters for their words.

God’s a big God and He can handle your emotions.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for wondering if there was something that God could have done. But the fact of the matter is – He didn’t. The day will come when all of us will die. And we’ll die because we live in a world that has been damaged by sin.

What I find interesting about this story is how Jesus responded to his death.

We’re told that Jesus was deeply moved.

When Jesus came to the grave he could have said something extremely profound.

But there’s no sermon, no powerful observations.

Instead, the Bible only tells us what Jesus DID.

“He wept.”

It’s the shortest verse in all of scripture and yet… the most profound.

Here is Jesus of Nazareth, the world’s most complete, most perfect man attending the funeral of a friend… and weeping openly.

He weeps without embarrassment, and without apology.

And those standing nearby said, “Look how much he loved him!”

If you feel like crying today, it’s ok.

If it was OK for Jesus to cry, it’s OK for you to cry.

And I’m convinced that God weeps with you.

God knows of your pain – He feels your hurt.

And if you’ll let Him… He’ll work inside you to comfort you now.

God knows what it’s like to feel hurt.

God lost a family member too, His one and only son.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever should believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

Today, we are gathered here to remember and to celebrate Ben’s life

And to say goodbye to him.

At this point a few people are going to share some memories about Ben.

(The Time For sharing)

I’m moved by the memories that you’ve shared about Ben and I believe your words have brought comfort to many of us.

That’s one of the reasons that we’ve gathered here, to remember Ben.

But we’ve also come here to remember God.

This is a time – not just to remember Ben and what he meant to us - but to also remember that all life is fragile. One day – we’re all going to die.

Do you remember what Jesus said to Mary and Martha:

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies.

Jesus wasn’t merely saying there was going to be a resurrection.

He claimed that HE IS the resurrection.

And He proved it.

About a week after raising Lazarus from the dead Jesus died on the cross, and 3 days later He rose from the dead. He did that so we’d know that He could guarantee us that promise as well.

We often think of this life as the “land of the living” and that when we die we go the “land of the dead”. But that’s not true.

This is the land of the dying.

But Jesus rose from the dead to offer us an opportunity to live in the land of the living.

The place Jesus offers is described like this in Scripture: Rev 21

“God himself will be with us and be our God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making all things new!’”

There’s only one requirement for entrance into resurrection life.

You can’t earn heaven by how good you are, or how many nice things you’ve done for others.

Jesus SAID: I am the resurrection and the life.

He who BELIEVES in Me will live, even though he dies.

We know that Ben is in the hands of a merciful God. And as I said earlier, this service isn’t for Ben. It’s for us. I look and think Ben’s life was cut too short. My life and your life will also end some day. It’s a reality that we will all die, but how will we live?

Let’s not live lives that focus on getting what we want. Let us live lives that take care of others.

Let’s not live lives that are bitter at God or at others for what they have or have not done. Let’s live lives that forgive and trust God.

Let’s live lives in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ. Just as Ben loved and brought in the helpless and needy, know that God wants to bring you close to him and his people, the Church. He wants to wipe away your tears, he wants to take way the mourning and pain.

If you want to know more about a relationship with God, I want to encourage you to come back here next Sunday for service, or talk to Steve and Fran about what next steps you can take. They have been such an amazing example in trusting God even through these hard times currently and in the past. They truly have a peace that passes understanding. That peace can only come from God and I know that want to share their relationship with God with you.