Reconciliation By Talking It Out

Linda Listen Video

I love this little video. It is cute but it also illustrates a wonderful point. The point is that until we listen to one another in an authentic way there can be no real resolution to the problems that we face.

Today we are going to start a new series called CONFLICTED we are going to try and figure out in the next 4 weeks how we can navigated a world where no one seems to want to agree.

We are going to talk about:

The Power Of Respect...The Power of Forgiveness...The Power of Impartiality...The Power of Loving Action as a way of keep your peace and extending peace in a very tumultuous time.

I don’t know about you but I have never been more in need of being reminded of these things than now. Why you may ask? Because in the last several weeks I have been as effected by the loud voices of discord as I have ever been.

I have found it hard to focus on things that matter and at times have felt the desire to point out others faults instead of looking for ways to Connect people to God and others by creating a space where everyone can belong.

If I am honest I have so focused on the pain of the world around me that at times that pain has not only blinded me to the Mission Vision and Values of the Church but cause great personal pain as well.

The real problem with this admission is that I know better. I know that the way I have dealt with things and the feelings that come with it can be overcome by the things we are going to talk about in the next few weeks.

Maybe many of us would be willing to admit that we all have had moments like these…The good news is that God’s word has the cure for the pain we may have been carrying...

The beginning of healing for us all is found in Power of respectful conflict resolutions.

Matthew 18:15-20

Matthew 18:15–20 NLT

15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. 18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. 19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

This passage in my opinion is one of the most powerful in the entire NT becuase it gives us a blue print on how we are supposed to navigate interpersonal conflict.

Go the the person who has hurt you

Bring another respected brother or sister

Take it to the community accept the decision or part ways peacefully.

I have followed this blue print more times than I can count but I can count on 1 hand the amount of times that I ever had to progress to even step two…let alone step 3.

Even if we are the best followers of Jesus in the world there will be times of strife between people. However 99 percent of the time the conflict that we allow to upset our emotional, spiritual and even physical health is not the result of an intentional slight from someone. It is usually simply a misunderstanding that can be cleared up if we will Prayerfully, Humbly and Respectfully Communicate our feelings.

This is why Jesus tells us that if we perceive someone has sinned against us or has something against us we need to go to them one on one and talk about it.

How many people suffer in silence thinking that others have it out for them when the truth is that if they knew they were causing pain they themselves would be devastated to know they caused that pain.

I still believe that most Christians act with good intentions even if they do or say things that may bring tremendous pain to us. Even though I am disappointed from time to time and even though I have been hurt from time to time I have to believe that any hurt that I feel is unintentional.

It does not hurt any less but if we don’t give our brothers and sisters the benefit of the doubt there is no way to overcome that hurt.