I Corinthians 7:1-16

I Corinthian 7:1-16, ROUGH DRAFT

Today we look at 2 subjects specifically in our study through I Corinthians:

Sex within Marriage and Divorce

Read I Corinthians 7:1-16

Pray

Intro - John and I teach 1 Bible class at Thomas Jefferson, once a week. He teaches an 8th grade class on Tuesday, and I teach 9th grade on Thursday. At the beginning of the year I ask the students to take a 3x5 card, write at least 1 question they have about the Bible, not place their name on it and turn it in.

-When we have time in class, beyond our regular lesson, I’ll answer a question. Through the 1st semester we work through the questions.

The Corinthians had written to Paul and asked him to address some questions they had. This part of the letter Paul is responding to questions they raised - specifically about sex in marriage and divorce.

Life of Corinth would make the show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills look like Scooby Doo.

Not only did you have many of the men involved with the Temple Prostitutes, but you people all over the city having affairs, getting divorces, remarried, divorced again … some having concubines live in their houses with the family, slave boys being used for pedophelia… It was a mess.

People were getting saved and coming into the church, but were not giving up these practices. Many didn’t know to give these things up.

Can you imagine how this effected the church?

SO the Corinthians wrote to Paul and said, Hey - there are some complicated things in our church and we don’t know how to handle them. Would you give us clarity.

-Paul is happy to do this.

The 1st thing we see is that there was a question on whether or not about sex out side of marriage.

1. God’s Gift Of Marriage Is Good, vs 1

7:1, It is good for a person to be sexually pure outside of marriage. It is good for a man & a woman to not be controlled by his sexual appetite.

-To those who are not married, young and old, stay sexually pure.

-Work to love following Jesus more than following your sexual desires.

-Purity for Jesus in all of our life, but particularly in our sexuality is very important.

-It is good or a man, outside of marriage, not to have relations with a woman.

Transtion - One of the ways we stay sexually pure is for the Christ follower to express their sexuality with a Christian marriage.

2. God created marriage to help with sexual purity.

Read vs. 2

7:2, Because purity is so important, if you can’t control yourself, get married.

-Sexual expression isn’t the only reason to get married, but it is a reason to get married.

We see this also in verses 8-9

Paul tells the unmarried and widows.

It’s ok to get married if you are finding it difficult to stay pure.

“It is better to get married than to burn with sensual passion.”

Marriage (one woman to one man) is the right and only place that sexual intimacy should ever take place.

-This was a massive struggle in the culture in Corinth.

-It is a big problem in our culture as well.

-It is very common for unmarried couples to live together before they get married.

-Now, Many couples don’t live together before they get married, they just live together and ignore marriage all together.

A God focused life says, I will follow Christ, even when culture tells me not to. I will marry and hold purity high because my marriage is a picture of Christ and His bride the Church.

-I will make a lifelong commitment to marriage knowing that God will use marriage to sanctify me. I will have to trust God when it’s not easy. I can’t just walk out.

-These verses about staying pure before marriage can be applied to long engagements where the temptation to be impure is very great with a long time to wait. Go ahead and get married.

Illustration - I joke with Susan my wife and say that during our engagement she was the octopus because she couldn’t keep her hands off of me.

-The truth is that we had to make some very specific choices of where we would be and where we would not be during our engagement - so that we would not be overcome by temptation.

-We went so far to have a godly professor at our Bible college hold us accountable to purity.

-One wonderful thing that the pandemic has taught us is that you can get married in a small private wedding and not spend tens of thousands of dollars.

-Average wedding cost in Georgia is $21,000

-That comes our to $159 per guest.

-We’ve go it easy, the national average is $33,000

Let me encourage you with this...

-A $100 wedding counts just as much as a $21,000

-A breif engagement helps you honor the holiness of God in your purity.

Summary, God created marriage to help with sexual Purity.

Transition - The 3rd teaching we see in our passage is to Married Couples.

3.Be eager and available for intimacy. vs. 3-6

Illustration -

Many years ago Susan and I were in a Sunday school class with a married couple named Brad and Laura Collins -from Columbia County.

Brad was known for saying some of the funniest and off the wall things.

That day in Sunday School Brad and his wife Laura were siting in the class together. The class was full with about 15 people present.

The topic of the class that day was heaven.

Once the topic was announced and the opening prayer was given, Brad immediately spoke up and asked the Sunday School Teacher, “I have a question, Will there be sex in heaven?”

-We were all surprised with the question. Odd question right out of the gate.

-The teacher had not prepared to answer that.

-The teacher mumbled and stumbled and embarrassingly says, No Brad I don’t think there will be any sex in heaven.

-While sitting next to his wife, Brad loudly responds, “Well that’s good, because I feel like I’m in heaven already.”

-I don’t think he helped his cause.

What is the teaching of this verse?

You must be available to satisfy your husband’s or wife’s physical intimate needs.

-You need to place your husband or wife in the position to be successful in their sexual purity.

-Being sexually unavailable places your spouse in a weeker position in the area of sexual purity.

-If you are the one in your marriage who needs more intimate attention than your spouse, where you have greater desire than they do ... your sexual frustration is no excuse to look outside of marriage to have your sexual needs met. Including in the area of pornography. Pause

You say, but life is busy, we have kids. Who has time and energy for intimacy?

Let me give you a practical tip.

Tip #1, -Be intentional, plan your intimate times.

-You say, Plan the times?! That’s not spontaneous and romantic.

-Answer, but it is obedient. Right now what you are doing isn’t obedient.

-Sit down with your spouse with a goal.

-We are going to try and be intimate “X” number of times a week. You set that number.

-Then you set the times that work best.

-It’s not going to be perfect, but it will honor the Lord and honor your spouse.

Tip #2 -Clear away hinderances to intimacy

-There may be lack of intimacy because of an insecurity.

-There may be lack of intimacy because of hurt feelings.

-There may be lack of intimacy because of a physical/medical issue going on.

-Have a conversation about this.

-I have talked to many couples who struggle with physical intimacy. It is much more common than you would ever imagine.

-In some cases, seeking medical help is appropriate.

-If there is something in your relationship that is getting in the way of intimacy.

It’s time to deal with it. It’s time to get help and talk about it.

-If this is you in your marriage, would you make time this Labor Day weekend to have this awkward conversation and begin to deal with this issue.

-Our bodies do not belong to us. Our bodies are our spouses and ultimately the Lords.

Check out how generous God is:

-He wants you to be physically intimate with your spouse.

-If there is something in your marriage that is hindering intimacy. God wants you to deal with it, because He wants your marriage to be a blessing to you and others.

-God desires difficult areas of marriage to be dealt with. Why? When we face our hurts or failings with God’s grace we grow more deeply spiritually.

-God confronts us in our marriages, because God is good.

-Jesus died on the cross to deal with the sin that had wrecked His relationship with His Bride The Church.

-Jesus did the most difficult thing - dying the torturous death of a criminal so that His church would be pure/

-If you are not a Christ follower, God is inviting you to trust in Faith that His gift on the Cross paid for your sins to make you pure.

-He is inviting you to have faith and follow Him right now.

#4 Being single is good

vs. 6-7, Paul says, I wish you were like me. Single - able to control his/her own sexual desires, but you were given a different gift.

-that way all your energy can go toward serving the Lord

Pre-text.

The wonder and the beauty of reading your Bible through and preaching a book through - is that come across subjects that you would not normally be exposed to.

In our case today Paul deals with divorce.

To be honest, If the subject of Divorce were not in this passage, I would not be inclined to not choose it as a topic.

Why?

It is a very sensitive topic because it effects many in this church and in our community.

-I have friends in this church that are divorced and I know that this teaching may sting for some.

-Speaking on divorce brings back up difficult memories, painful feelings and in some cases shame or feelings of guilt.

-Please hear my heart. I take no pleasure in anyone being made uncomfortable.

-Those of us who are married and have not experienced divorce, are still married by the grace of God.

-In fact one of the main reasons I am still married and not divorced is that my wife is a professional forgiver.

It was her major in college.

So, what does our passage say?

#5, It is God’s intention that the Christian marriage is to be for life.

Re-read, vs. 10-11, on this.

What is the teaching?

Christians are to marry for life. If two Christian divorce, they are not free to remarry.

-The reason that they cannot remarry is that the spiritual marriage covenant is not annulled, even when the state gives a legal divorce. The spiritual, the eternal, trumps the state.

The Kingdom of God trumps the Kingdom of man.

This is a very complicated subject.

-We will not be able to cover all the details today.

-For some this will raise more questions than we will be able answer.

To understand these versus you have to understand these 3 important facts.

-Marriage was created by God - not the state.

-Christian marriage is held together by a spiritual covenant.

-Covenants/contracts only broken by reasons that God specifies.

Charles Hodge, “… The marriage bond cannot be dissolved by any human authority, because it is, in virtue of the law of God, a covenant for life.” ...

“...marriage is an indissoluble covenant between one man and one woman for life...” unquote

Isn’t this what we want to press on our children.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between 2 believers.

That when times get tough - not if times get tough, but when times get tough you stay in the marriage through thick and thin.

We want our children to know that marriage is a picture of the Gospel. That a man is to love his wife. A man is to be willing to lay down his life and serve his wife/family in leadership and humility. Wife is to follow and respect her husband.

God does not permit 2 Christ followers to have a - divorce of convenience.

-For 2 Christ followers divorce is not allow because: I don’t love her anymore or because I am not happy

God does not allow 2 Christ followers to divorce because they can’t get along.

-He demands humility, forgiveness, and selflessness.

-Which is exactly what Jesus did on the cross for His Church. He modeled humility, forgiveness and selflessness.

-Marriage was set in place by God, not primarily to make us happy.

-Marriage was set in place by God to make us Holy, to sanctify us.

In the marriage of 2 Christians

There are 3 ways there covenant is broken before God.

-Death

-Sexual Immorality (The word is porneia and covers a wide range of sexual transgressions.) Matthew 7:31-32

-Desertion?, in limited circumstances

Is another way divorce is acceptable before God?

Yes

-If it is determined by church leaders that one of the spouses, based on their actions, was not a Christ follower to begin with and just religious.

-In this case you don’t have 2 Christ followers married, You have an unholy union. You have 1 Christ follower and a lost religious person.

-However, it is the unbeliever that must initiate the divorce -I Corinthians 7:15

-In this case, when an unbeliever divorces a Christ Follower, the Christ Follower is free to remarry another Christ Follower. Vs. 15 says “you are not enslaved” this means that you are not held to the Spiritual Covenant any longer.

Like with so many divorces, these situations get very complicated. These are not easy situations and get muddied very quickly.

Here is where things get difficult.

When 2 Christ Followers divorce and it is not due to the exceptions of (immorality or possibly desertion)...

Lets say the marriage has gotten toxic, one has fallen out of love, one person is not happy anymore.

If in this case a divorce takes place between two Christ followers the 2 are not free to remarry another and if they do it is considered adultery.

Why no remarrying? because in God’s eyes the marriage covenant is still intact.

Read Matthew 19:8-9

What about separation? (For the sake of time I can only speak to this very briefly.)

Separation is allowed in 2 situations:

1-To make space between two couples with the goal of reconciliation of the marriage.

The marriage has gotten extremely toxic. You can separate and get help to rebuild.

2-When abuse or highly illegal activity is happening.

-In this situation the police should be called, your church leaders should be called, and separation should happen.

Why would a Christ follower stay in a marriage with a non-Christian?