Offense Session 6 |

Offense Session 6 | Overcoming and Healing from Offense & Un-forgiveness

Which do you prefer, peace or bitterness, healing or sickness, bondage or deliverance?

“When we are bitter, we delude ourselves into thinking that those who hurt us are more likely to be punished as long as we are set on revenge. We are afraid to let go of those feelings. After all, if we don’t make plans to see that justice is done, how will justice be done? We make ourselves believe that it is up to us to keep the offense alive.” Kendall, R.T. (2010-09-24). Total Forgiveness:

Ephesians 4:30-32 (NKJV)

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12-15 (NKJV)

12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

What total forgiveness is not:

1. Approval of what they did

2. Excusing what they did

If I grant them forgiveness, I am releasing them from accountability for their actions. (this is not our place to begin with. Just because you forgive someone that has not asked, does not mean they are free from consequence.)

If they don't repent does that mean forgiveness isn't to be granted?

Also, repentance means a change in behavior so why would they keep sinning and need forgiveness 7x70 in a day, if they had repented? Does that mean they hadn't repented and therefore doesn't warrant forgiveness?

3. Justifying what they did

4. Pardoning what they did

5. Reconciliation (forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing)

“Even if there is no reconciliation, there can still be total forgiveness. This may even apply to the forgiveness of those who are no longer alive. This forgiveness must happen in the heart, and when it does, peace emerges—with or without a complete restoration of the relationship.” Kendall, R.T. (2010-09-24). Total Forgiveness:

6. Denying what they did

7. Blindness to what happened

8. Forgetting

9. Refusing to take the wrong seriously

Total forgiveness does not mean that we continue to allow people to hurt and abuse us. Total forgiveness does not mean that we continue to put ourselves in situations that will cause us harm and hurt.

10. Pretending we are not hurt

What total forgiveness is:

1. Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them

2. Choosing to keep no record of wrongs (choice not a feeling)

3. Refusing to punish

4. Be careful who we share our pain with so as not to slander the person who wronged you

5. Being merciful

6. Graciousness

7. An inner condition change and transformation

8. Absence of bitterness

9. Forgiving God for what happened to you

10. Forgiving ourselves

The ultimate proof of total forgiveness takes place when we sincerely petition the Father to let those who have hurt us off the hook—even if they have hurt not only us, but also those close to us. Kendall, R.T. (2010-09-24). Total Forgiveness:

Romans12: 14-21 (NKJV)

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. 17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 5:43-48 (NKJV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 (Amplified VS.)

4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. 7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].