Building Marital Rescilliance : Understanding and practicing Agape

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NKJV

9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Psalm 11:3 NKJV

3 If the foundations are destroyed, What can the righteous do?

Matthew 7:24–27 NKJV

24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. 26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

The Love and the foundation of any couples should be the 3 fold love. Eros , Phileo , Agape .

The nature and understanding of the CORD made a lot of difference in a family that will stand or fall , Bishop said we need to braid our marriage and relationship with 3 strand.

Agape is a rarely used in the bible is powerful kind of love . Heb word Agape is HESED. strongest kind of covent between two human beings.

John 3:16 NKJV

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Agape love says — I will be with you for better or for worse , I am covenant bound to you , not based on romantic feeling , sexual attration.

Although it does not me am stuck with you in Love , it mean am committed to you LOVE . if you love with agape you focus on the other.

‘’ Agape is loved based on commitment not feeling . Is there a place for feeling in marrigae or are we required to love regardless of how we feel’’

Ephesians 5:22–33 NKJV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Agape love is developed with your relationship with God .

Love defines God’s very nature .

Deuteronomy 6:5 NKJV

5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

John 13:34 NKJV

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Galatians 5:14 NKJV

14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 22:37–40 NKJV

37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

love is not primarily an emtion, but an atitude of the heart. English definition of Love has driven the content and expectation God want for us .

1 John 3:1 NKJV

1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

1 John 3:11 NKJV

11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another,

1 John 3:14 NKJV

14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death.

1 John 3:16–18 NKJV

16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

Agape is a Person ..

1 John 4:8 NKJV

8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Agape is oneness . one with God and One with each other. it means God became one with US.

Agape is other -conscious not self conscious .

Agape is constantly watching out first for the welfare of others, looking continually for opportunites to give. True Love is not complete until it gives itself. you can not discuss love without showing what you have let go. it not complete until it gives itself .

Agape is self intiating .

Agape takes responsibility .

Romans 5:8 NKJV

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Agape is proactive . it acts whether or not anyone else responds or reciprocates .

Luke 6:31 NKJV

31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

Agape takes Initiatives

Agape is a choice , not based on emotion but on delibrate decision ...

God loves us but never Tell WHY … He love us bec He is LOVE and it is nature to LOVEs .. That is the peoblem with Human is GOD nature is LOVE .. so the delimana of a man with no GOD . it is not possible for a natural man to LOVE …

Agape does not choose who to love, it choose simply to love . It does nto matter who the object is .

Agape is the only ‘’ True Love ‘’ in the world , and the foundation for everything else we sometimes call love. correctly understood and exercised in the proper environment . . Understanding Agape is the key to understanding the secrets of human heart. to do so we need to consider several facets of this glittering jewel that is agape . God is love for us , our love for God , our love for ourselves and our love for others , partucilarly as it relates to our spouuse and or potential spouse.

Marriage : A rolesless relationship.

At the most basic level, a husband and wife should relate to each other through mutual love and submission rather than through a set of predefined roles.

Essentially , marriage is a rolesless relationship

The Love of Christ is a roleless love based on responses rather than expectionations

If there are no expectation , there are no fixed roles. Marriage then becomes a relationship based on responding to needs rather than adhering to rigid preconceptions .

A relationship without fixed roles does mean that each partner will respond according to need, ability and opportunity

A role is a temporary responsibiltiy that is based on the ability of the one who responsds.

Agape doean’t look for roles , agape responds to needs.

In a roleless marriage there are no his and her roles only our responsibilites

Assignment of marital responsibilites may depend on each person ‘s traning , abilities or temperament .

It is impossible to live the best and expectation of marriage without AGAPE ..

Jeremiah 17:5 NKJV

5 Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength, Whose heart departs from the Lord.

Romans 8:7–9 NKJV

7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.

Jeremiah 17:9–10 NKJV

9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? 10 I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings.

So you see the despiration of MAN to success in an organization that God said you only succed in AGAPE .

I can also see the furstation of peopel , husband and wife, b rother and ssystem really trying to success. Marriage was broken down in GArden immediately the man act on the devil suggestion.