Forgiving Others

Today’s passage falls at end of bunch of teaching Jesus did on what it means to be a disciple

Again Jesus uses a parable - metaphor in form of story that explains some truth about God & Kingdom

Told in response to Peter’s question about how many times we should forgive someone (slide)

Three things important to note before we look at parable...

Matthew 18:21–23 NIV84

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

First - Peter asks how many times should I forgive someone? 7 times? & Jesus answers no 77 times

Jesus answer is saying to Peter - there should be no limit to your forgiveness;

no counting of how many times, no absolute number of times can be placed on our forgiveness

Second - Jesus then tells parable - begins with - the kingdom of heaven is like...

In other words Jesus is saying truth held in parable reflects reality of God’s Kingdom

The truth is contained in sequence of events that occur & what they mean - not in the little details

Jesus uses story not to give us every detail possible about God’s forgiveness

But he wants to give us an idea of overall big picture - make sense (slide)

Lastly - remember this parable is at end of teaching Jesus was giving to his disciples

This parable is for us as Christians & Church to listen to what Jesus is saying to us (slide)

The Merciful & Forgiving King

Let’s consider first some of the elements in story that Jewish people would’ve instinctively known

King - was commonly recognised as a picture / representation of God

Debt - was commonly recognised as a picture / representation of sin

10,000 talents was a huge amount money (millions of dollars) but not an impossible amount money (slide)

Esther 3:9 NIV84

If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued to destroy them, and I will put ten thousand talents of silver into the royal treasury for the men who carry out this business.”

As we see in OT Book of Esther - 10,000 talents was an amount available to government officials or tax ministers

So although parable calls first person, servant - likely someone tasked with collecting taxes (Slide)

So we’re talking about entire yearly tax revenue for a kingdom

Matthew 18:24–26 NIV84

As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’

So king decides to call in full payment for all loans he’s made to people

we see servant who’s got an astonishing debt for 1 person - & no way he can pay it back in his lifetime

So man begs for Kings mercy - time to pay off debt… But how can he?

Realistically he can’t, but desperation drives him to beg to be saved from punishment owed him...

Because He borrowed all money with no means to pay it back (slide)

Matthew 18:27 NIV84

The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

This next verse would’ve shocked & astonished disciples listening to parable

King write off / wipes clean this servants debt & let’s him go...

They’d have sense of relief that King or God willing to demonstrate such generosity & graciousness...

Such massive / enormous debt of sin was willingly forgiven by merciful & compassionate King

And same generous mercy & forgiveness is available to us through faith in Jesus work on the cross

Illus - it would be like average person in Auckland who took out mortgage on average house say +800k

They put down 10% deposit so owe bank $720k plus interest - and Covid-19 strikes & loose their job

They have no means to pay mortgage & support family...

They take mortgage holiday - which just delays payments for 6-8 months but thats ended...

Now bank demands payments to start plus extra to make up for mortgage holiday

Family will loose their home, marriage is at breaking point, kids running wild...

Suddenly bank says… don’t worry we’ve wiped your mortgage, you don’t owe us anything

Imagine how family would feel - they didn’t do anything to earn it, it was gift given to them

Because we serve a God who’s compassionate, merciful, loving, generous, & gracious

Who doesn’t want anyone to pay the price of all sins we commit - the sin debt we create over our lives...

Jesus what to cross to pay our debt of sin so we could receive generous gift...

Record of our whole life’s sins wiped clean, forgotten forever (slide)

The Merciless & Unforgiving Servant

But with such an amazing gift given to servant - Jesus leads us to scene 2 of parable (slide)

Matthew 18:28–30 NIV84

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

We see servant 1 demanding his debt paid by servant 2

Debt of 100 denarii was a lot - approx 20 weeks wages - but wasn’t impossible to pay back like 1st debt

What’s interesting is same words spoken by servant 1 to king same words spoken by servant 2

Jesus does this deliberately so listeners forced to make comparison between two events

And see contrast… again Jesus using this contrast to provoke anger & desire for justice in listener

This time there’s no generosity, no grace, no mercy - just judgment

2nd servant begs for mercy but servant refuses to give it & punishes man for not paying debt

Now was 1st servant within his rights to demand payment? Yes

Was he legally within his rights to have servant thrown in jail for non-payment? Yes

But question Jesus provokes in us is unavoidable...

how could someone forgiven so much show so little mercy themselves? (slide)

Illus - Interesting study done by Psychologists Keltner and Piff

monitored intersections with 4-way stop signs & found all drivers in cheap cars respected pedestrian right of way,

while those in expensive cars drove right on by 46.2 % of time, even when they’d made eye contact with pedestrians

Also found people in expensive cars 4x more likely to cut in front of other drivers, compared to folks in modest cars

Did another study showed wealthy subjects more likely to lie in work negotiations & excuse unethical behavior

E.g. lying to clients in order to make more money.

Then researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute surveyed 43,000 people

Found rich far more likely to walk out of store with merchandise hadn’t paid for than poorer people.

How is it that even when we have so much given to us it’s never enough

It seems it’s etched into our human nature - we always want to take more & more for ourselves (slide)

Passing On God’s Mercy & Forgiveness

Its because of that human reality Jesus then brings us to parable scene 3

As you heard this is where Jesus again introduces elements of judgment

He uses very strong harsh language - especially around 1st servant being ‘tortured’ (slide)

Matthew 18:32–35 NIV84

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

But Jesus is using contrasting shocking language as way to provoke us to think about what he’s saying

Main point = Consequences for God’s people for not showing mercy & forgiving others...

God has forgiven us our huge debt of sin - he expects us to demonstrate same character as God

To be generous in our mercy & forgiveness, to be gracious & compassionate to all

So Jesus uses terrible consequences of 1st servant to show us how seriously God takes this kingdom principle

And that there’s serious consequences if we refuse to be generous in our compassion, mercy & forgiveness (slide)

Illus - John Hopkins Medicine Journal reported - studies found acts of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health

lower risk of heart attack; improve cholesterol levels & sleep; reduce pain, blood pressure, anxiety, depression & stress

Research also points to an increase in forgiveness-health connection as you age.

According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at  Cancer Treatment Centres of America

Unforgiveness is classified in medical books as a disease...

& insists refusing to forgive people who've done you wrong makes people sick & keeps them that way

I.e. there are serious physical & psychological consequences in this life...

if we continue to refuse to follow example God has given us with his generous forgiveness & mercy

And that’s not taking into account the spiritual consequences in our eternal future (slide)

We pray the Lord’s Prayer often & many of us know it by heart...

Then there’s this familiar statement we say… but how are we doing putting it in to action?

Tim Keller puts it this way;

When someone seriously wrongs us - wrong incurs an obligation / liability / debt the other person now owes us

we feel compelled to make other person pay that debt...

We do that by hurting them, yelling at them, making them feel bad in some way

or we wait & watch hoping something bad happens to them

Its only after we see them suffer in some way equal to wrong they did us do we feel debt’s been paid

So forgiving someone means giving up our right to seek repayment from person who’s hurt us

And forgiveness is voluntary suffering - What does that mean?

When someone offends us or sins against us - we loose something ...

Perhaps we loose our happiness, reputation, peace of mind, a relationship, or an opportunity

So we are face with a choice - either we restore that thing we’ve lost by making the other person pay

Like ruin their reputation, do something t make them unhappy, interfere in their relationships… OR

We can forgive the person who’s wronged us & choose not to pay them back

& instead absorb the damage or loss to our happiness, reputation, peace of mind, relationship etc

When a wrong is done someone always pays for that debt of sin in some form of suffering

It’s impossible to deal with sin or a wrong committed without someone suffering for it

It will either be the one who committed the offence or the one one offended - but someone will suffer

but to forgive is to cancel debt of sin committed by other person & instead pay it or absorb it ourselves

And that will cost us - forgiveness is extremely costly...

Forgiving means choosing not to hurt the person who’s offended us & instead be cordial to them

Forgiving means choosing not to gossip, put down, imply anything negative about that person

Forgiving means choosing not to indulge our minds & hearts in ill-will -

i.e. we don’t rerun what’s happened in our minds to maintain our sense of hurt & loss

Or imagine them getting what they deserve - hoping something happens to them

Forgiveness is always granted before its felt

we choose not to hurt, offend, gossip, or harbour bad thoughts about person who’s hurt us

Instead we pray for them reminding ourselves of forgiveness, mercy, & grace God’s shown to us

In this parable Jesus says God has forgiven us all our sins...

& tells us we must share same mercy & forgiveness God’s shown us to others

God did what was impossible for us to do...

He paid the penalty of our entire lives collective sin & injustice each of us has committed...

so we could be forgiven & freed from guilt & shame

Jesus willingly chose to suffer on our behalf to satisfy God’s justice because of his immense love for us

So if God loves us so much He willingly suffered horrifically to pay our sin debt that was impossible for us to pay

Are you willing to suffer a little to forgive others & pass on God’s love & mercy to them?

Let’s spend a moment in silent prayer as we reflect on God’s Word… pause

Heavenly Father

Thanks for Jesus for suffering on our behalf and paying the price for all our sin

Thank that Jesus has made a way for us to receive Your forgiveness and experience your mercy & love

My your Spirit give us the strength & will to bear the burden of forgiving others

That they too may experience a piece of your love, mercy, & grace through us

In our saviours name we pray