The Tongue
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Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Back in college, I had a professor who was always bantering with his students. He loved to tease us.
One day, as we bumped into each other in the hall, this professor said, “David, you look good today! I wish I could wear cheap clothes.”
Now he and I understood each other. I was not hurt or insulted, because I knew he was just having fun. But I have never forgotten that exchange.
Words are powerful.
They can encourage, empower, and motivate.
Martin Luther King’s classic speech, “I have a dream,” is a perfect example.
In a time of racial conflict, this black man called for people of all color to remember that they were all created by God and learn to see each other by their hearts rather than the color of their skin.
They can turn a heart toward something or against.
Adolf Hitler rose to power by telling the German people how great they were and blaming all their failures on the “inferiors” who lived among them.
He called Germans “the Aryan Race,” saying that they were genetically superior to all other humans.
So when he called others inferior, he was meaning that they were genetically inferior—subhuman.
And the Germans ate it up.
Millions of Jews were killed, along with the developmentally disabled, because they were considered less than human.
Words can also tear down.
We’ve all heard the expression, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but...”
How many of you have found that phrase to be true?
If you break a bone, it will mend.
Words can cut through your heart and haunt you for the rest of your life.
The words of one person can affect how you receive words from everyone else for the rest of your life.
I have a friend who is always on the defensive.
Because they were constantly criticized growing up at home, they hear everything else as a criticism.
Even compliments are perceived either as sarcasm or are dismissed as just being nice.
Words are POWERFUL!
This is why we need be careful about the words we use.
And this is hard, because words just flow out of us.
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.
From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
As Christians, we need to be ever mindful about our words and what we say.
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
What We Say To Others
What We Say To Others
First of all, let us think about the things we say to others.
It is so easy to tear others down in a moment of anger.
It is also amazing how easily we can tear someone down with a careless comment.
Because you don’t necessarily have to be angry at the person you are tearing down.
They just happen to be the convenient dumping ground for your frustration.
Have any of you ever had to call customer service about a problem?
You are so frustrated, and the company’s representative comes on the line, and you just unload on them.
YOU messed up my order.
YOU did this.
YOU should have done that.
I have caught myself from time to time going in that direction, and I have apologized to the poor person that I started to insult. They didn’t take my order. They didn’t have anything to do with what happened.
Parents, your children believe what you tell them.
If your words and actions communicate worth and love to your child, they will believe it.
If you tell your child that they are a mistake, worthless, useless, they will believe it.
And they will spend the rest of their lives with the image your words painted of them.
I told you before about when my brother was out in the world, and he wandered into a church one morning after being out drinking all night.
One of the ushers saw him, hungover in the back row, and told him he wasn’t welcome. He needed to leave.
It took YEARS to help my brother feel welcome in a church again.
Even when you have a disagreement or need to give correction, you can either build up or tear down.
In Matthew 23:27-28, Jesus’ warning to the proud Pharisees was harsh
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.
So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
But his word to the woman caught in adultery was compassionate
Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
We need to guard how we speak to each other, because words have power.
What We Say About Others
What We Say About Others
Our words have the power to wound a heart. But it’s not just about what we say to a person.
We can be just as destructive—maybe even more so—by what we say ABOUT a person to others.
We might feel totally justified in our comments when we disagree with the actions or views of an individual.
But when we let our feelings influence our language about someone to reflect our opinions, it creates a problem.
People get nasty reputations because of the comments someone said about them.
And these reputations can be completely unfounded and undeserved.
You have the person who spoke negatively in the first place.
Then you have the story getting passed around.
Along the way, the story gets modified and embellished.
This past week, I have heard half a dozen different comments from people in the community about the “real” reason that the school sent the kids home for a week.
The reasons were all different, and none of them were true.
I also had people who, when they found out Zenetta and I worked at the school, tried to fish us for information as to what was “really” happening.
All these people in the community were getting upset because of stories that actually were not true!
How did James 3:8 describe the tongue?
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
When we go around talking about others out of personal bitterness, our words are poison infecting the hearts of those around us.
We end up spreading bitterness, like a cancer permeating the souls of other believers.
How can a church grow in the midst of pervasive bitterness and backbiting?
How can we be vessels of God’s word if we are filled with bitterness?
Who is going to believe our message of love, forgiveness, and relationship with Christ when they hear condemnation and gossip from the same lips?
It’s so easy to speak ABOUT something or someone when we have a problem. It’s much easier than actually dealing with the situation.
But what does the Bible say about handling conflict?
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
The first step in handling conflict is to try to resolve it directly.
Only bring others into it if you have to, and then only as many as are needed to resolve the issue.
And ALWAYS let your goal be to restore unity with each other and with God.
Words are powerful, so we must be careful about what we say to others and about others.
What We Say to Ourselves
What We Say to Ourselves
In talking about the power of the tongue and words, the impact on others is obvious. But as we listen to others, we also develop a language in referring to ourselves.
Research has shown that nearly every person guilty of domestic violence was once a victim of domestic violence.
It is the only way they know how to deal with problems.
It has also been noted that many victims who escape domestic abuse end up in another abusive relationship.
All the words that were used against them in the past still echo in their hearts.
They fall into abusive relationships because that’s what they think they deserve.
Words have power. What you speak enters your heart.
So, if you were to describe yourself, what words would you use?
Strong?
Kind?
Thoughtful?
Pretty or handsome?
Determined and steadfast?
Weak?
Useless?
Inconsequential?
Last week, we looked at King David in 1 Samuel 30. And in verse 6, we read how David strengthened himself in the Lord.
In a time when everything was going wrong, and even David’s friends were turning against him, David chose to look to the Lord and strengthen himself.
Instead of speaking doubt, David spoke faith.
Instead of despair, David spoke praises to God
Instead of berating himself, David remembered who he was in the Lord.
God, you anointed me to be King over all Israel, so I know my story doesn’t end in defeat here.
The words we use affect us as much as they affect anyone else.
We can get overly puffed up and full of ourselves.
More often than not, we tear ourselves down.
We convince ourselves that we are worthless and undeserving of love.
We give up trying, because we have named ourselves a failure.
But if this is where you are right now, I want you to know something.
By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him;
for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.
Your heart might be condemning you right now.
And maybe there is something in your past that caused it.
But know this. Jesus didn’t condemn the adulterous woman. He forgave her and told her to stop sinning.
And Jesus doesn’t condemn you now.
If there’s sin, he simply says, “I forgive you. Now stop sinning.”
But if what is condemning you is system of lies that you have come to believe about yourself and you have been repeating over and over, Jesus wants to speak truth to you right now.
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Words have power. So let the words that come out of us come from the heart of God.
Let every conversation be an opportunity to build up and encourage others.
Let us be careful in what we say to others, and even more careful what we say ABOUT others.
And let us be mindful of what we tell ourselves.
We need to get into the habit of speaking God’s truth over ourselves, even if we don’t feel like it rings true right now.
The more we speak it, the more we will start to believe it.
Let’s speak truth. Let’s speak love.
Words have power.