The Necessity of Forgiveness

If you have heard of the story of Corrie Ten Boom then you have come to know the brave and compassionate lady that helped so many during WWII. Her and her family helped hide many Jews from the Nazis during WWII. She lost her mother and father and sister to concentration camps and endured many evil people doing unspeakable evil acts upon other human beings. After the war was over and she came face to face with one of these evil perpetrators, instead of cursing them and wishing them to suffer as they made so many others suffer, she did something much different. She forgave this person. She said “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”

Today we are talking about the necessity of forgiveness. Corrie Ten Boom shared it best that it is the only way forward to get past resentment and hatred, to break the cycle of bitterness and selfishness. Peter the disciple, asked Jesus a question about forgiveness and how often he should forgive someone. Listen to the passage found in Matthew 18:21-35.

Matthew 18:21–35 NRSV

21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. 23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; 25 and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. 32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Peter asked the question and thought he gave a good suggestion which was well above the traditional answer that the Rabbis during this time period would have answered with three and he was more than twice that amount with his suggested answer. Yet Jesus answered with more than 10 times his supposedly generous suggestion. Jesus was telling Peter though that there should not be a limit. Jesus then teaches a parable in order to show the importance of forgiving others because of how much you have been forgiven.

In this parable there is a slave who owed a tremendous debt. A talent is roughly 15 years of wages for a laborer. so if you look at it that way, he owed 15,000 years worth of wages to this master. Basically it would translate into billions of dollars. This was an impossible debt to pay yet he asked for mercy and patience in order to attempt to figure something out. The master had the right call in the debt and sell them off (along with their debt) yet instead he had mercy and forgave this impossible debt that could never be paid for.

What does the slave do in return after being forgiven such a tremendous debt? He goes to another slave who owed him 100 denarii and demands it of him. A denarii is basically the equivalent of a laborer’s daily wage so basically he owed him small miniscule debt in comparison to what he had just been forgiven for owing his master. This slave also pleads in exactly the same manner as he did to his own master. However, he does not respond with compassion and forgiveness but with harshness and cruelty. This in turn does not sit well with the other folks who witness this cruelty, especially given what he had been forgiven of. This is reported to his master who revokes the forgiveness of the impossible debt and instead, sentences him the harsh punishment he originally was due.

Forgiveness is something we always want but in some cases, we don’t want to give out as freely as we want it for ourselves. We owe God an impossible debt because of the sin that has plagued and corrupted our lives. We have done things to others, we have broken God’s laws. We have done and said things that have broken God’s heart. There is no way in which we can make it up to everyone we have wronged, including God.

There was a movie in the late 80s called Flatliners. The basic storyline was a group of medical students who wanted to experiment with dying and bringing people back to life. Each of these students was basically made dead for a minute or two and then resuscitated. During their time of death they were visited by some past item where they did something wrong and it stayed around with them even after they were brought back to life. They had to figure out ways to make amends for their past wrongs before they would stop being haunted by that past wrong.

In essence, the only way they could get better was to make up for their past mistakes. Could you imagine trying to do this in real life? How could you possible go back and visit each person for each instance of when you wronged someone, including God? It is impossible even if we spent every last moment we have, a lifetime would not be enough time to make up for all of our past mistakes. I use the Flatliners movie example to illustrate the way in which sin clings to us until we find forgiveness. It builds up and weighs us down. As Corrie Ten Boom said, it shackles us to anger and hatred and selfishness and bitterness. We must find forgiveness and we must extend forgiveness or we become trapped.

Jesus taught the disciples how to pray with what we call the Lord’s Prayer. Listen to Matthew 6:7-15

Matthew 6:7–15 NRSV

7 “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 “Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Notice how he spends three verses on forgiveness. In each of these, notice how it is coming back around to us forgiving others. Verse 12 as we also have forgiven our debtors and verse 14 and 15 illustrate the importance of us forgiving others. God forgives us as we forgive others, yet if we can’t forgive others, God can’t forgive us. It is cyclical in that as we learn to forgive, we receive forgiveness, yet when we hold onto those grievances, God does the same. If we go back to our parable story, remember how the slave who was forgiven the impossible debt was released and freed, yet when he could not forgive someone else, the debt came back full circle and he was once again under the weight of the impossible debt and punishment that comes from it. The same happens with us, when we accept the forgiveness which frees us from the impossible debts, we also need to keep forgiving others to keep from being shackled down again.

I don’t mean to make this sound easy because it is not. The human side of us wants justice, revenge, people to pay for what they did. Laws prescribe punishment yet forgiveness does something different. We don’t want people to get away with it, yet when we are told to forgive it feels like we are saying they can. Forgiveness has nothing to do with these things. It has nothing to do with what the law prescribes for punishment and equality and fair treatment. It does have to do with, having been forgiven, we need to forgive others before the crushing weight overwhelms us and shackles us in a cycle of hatred, bitterness, selfishness. The law may still punish people for their crimes and forgiving does not take that away. The human side says if we forgive then we say what they did is ok but that is certainly not true. When we do wrong, we must admit our wrong without excuse. We accept the punishment but that does not change what we did. No punishment can undo what we did. Forgiveness allows or frees us to move forward past the tremendous weight of sin, whether that is our own that we hold to because we don’t think we can be forgiven or that is the sin of others that burdens us down because we can’t forgive them.

This is not an easy thing to do or say. Jesus gave a warning in Matthew 18:35. In the last bit where the wicked slave is sent off to the punishment because he did not forgive his fellow slave, there is a warning to all of us. Listen to that verse one more time

Matthew 18:35 NRSV

35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

It must be forgiveness from the heart. We can say the words but not mean it at all. It takes a supernatural action in order for us to say these things from our heart. When God forgives you, it is out of love from God’s heart that you are forgiven. God loves creation and each of us are a special being within that creation. When we don’t forgive from our heart condition being moved supernaturally, then we risk saying the words without meaning them. God can and will work in your heart when you ask but make no mistake that you can’t say the words without meaning it and move on. You won’t be freed that way. It takes a supernatural change that comes from God to allow our hearts to forgive. This is the kind of prayer you need to go to God with. If you are harboring unforgiveness of either your own sins you have committed or the one someone has committed against you, start with God and asking God for help. Let God work in your heart to show you how to move to forgiveness of yourself and others. If that is speaking to you today, then don’t let today slip by without asking God for help. Acknowledge, you can’t do this and let God begin to work in your heart today. There is freedom that comes from being relieved of these burdens of sin. There is healing that comes from this and it can begin today with that prayer asking God for help.