Gospel Centered Parenting
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Introduction
Introduction
Great day yesterday.
Thankful for our first responders with us
Instead of preaching a special message today I decided we would continue with our series on the Home and wrap that up. Open your Bibles to Ephesians 6 and we will be looking at the first 4 verses.
In this series we’ve looked through Ephesians 5 and made application from Paul’s writing to the church at Ephesus on how we can have a loving home, a transformed home, and a submissive home. Today I’d like to talk to you about having an obedient home. Or, I believe this message could also be titled, A gospel centered home.
As Christians we are called to be disciples of Christ. That doesn’t just mean at church on Sundays but throughout the rest of the week, especially in our homes.
Being a disciple of Christ is living in light of the truths of the gospel. The gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.
This passage written specifically to children and parents has at its heart, the gospel as lived out by Christ.
When we live out these truths in our lives we are allowing ourselves to live up to what Gal 2:20 calls us to
gal 2:20
20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
My question to you this morning is this: Are you living a gospel centered life in your home? Are you raising your children with a gospel centered upbringing?
Follow along with me as I read this morning
Eph 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
PRAY
Obedience to the Lord
The reason for Obedience
The result of Obedience
Honor to the Parents
The Application of Honor
The Affirmation of honor
Grace to the children
The Parent’s understanding
The Children’s upbringing
I. Obedience to the Lord
I. Obedience to the Lord
Paul writes specifcally to the children here in this passage. Kids and even if not especially teenagers, when the bible says children, it is speaking to you. Children, obey your parents.
Parents, that’s what we all want our kids to do right? Obey? I don’t know about your kids but I know with mine that wasn’t something they were just born to do. Obedience is learned trait and a learned trait doesn’t just happen it has to be developed. A person, even children, don’t develop the trait of obedience without a reason. What is your child’s reason for obedience? What is your reason for obedience?
A. The Reason for Obedience
A. The Reason for Obedience
I believe the answer is right there in verse 1. “In the Lord” We obey our parents as we obey God.
Col 3:23
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Children, adults, whatsoever we do. We do as to the Lord and not to men.
We have the privilege of having some of our first responders join us today. Of those are the police department. Now, many of us obey the police for various reasons. Most of the time it’s because we see them coming or parked somewhere. Right?
Some obey the law not to harm others, some obey not to get fined and have the insurance go up, no matter what it is, every person has a reason they obey.
Why should we obey? Because following Jesus requires obedience.
Why does it require obedience? great question
Phil 2:8
8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Because Jesus was obedient. Now, was he obedient to everyone? No.
Look what he did to those that dishonored God
John 2:13-15
13 And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem,
14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables;
Jesus wasn’t obedient to those that were going against God. He made a whip, flipped their tables, and ran them out of the temple.
Children, don’t get any ideas. Mom doesn’t need you trying to flip the dinner table because you think you shouldn’t have to obey.
We obey our parents because they love us, because they care for us, and because Jesus loves. Jesus loves us so much he died for us.
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
We love Jesus because He loves us. We obey Jesus because He loves us. We obey our parents because Jesus, God, has told us to.
Parents, the reason children should obey us and the reason you should teach them to obey isn’t “because I said so” it’s because of Jesus.
Parents, the reason you should obey your boss, the cops, and others that hold that authority in your life isn’t because you agree with their politics. It’s because of Jesus.
If we as adults are unwilling to be obedient because of Jesus, we will find it difficult for our children to obey because of Christ.
The reason for obedience is Jesus. See with me the result of obedience
B. The Result of Obedience
B. The Result of Obedience
Now, I will get into the promise given to this command in a moment. I want to approach the result of obedience to Jesus as a whole for everyone.
Remember, we are talking about a gospel centered home. The gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.
The gospel is amazing. The gospel is wonderful. Look what Paul wrote about the gospel
Rom 1:16
16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
The gospel is the power of God unto salvation. How are we saved
Eph 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
By the grace of God we are saved through faith, through beleiving in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
What is the result of obedience? Listen closely so you don’t get confused about what I’m going to say.
The result of obedience to scripture and Jesus is Salvation. BECAUSE if we are being obeident to scripture we know that our salvation is secure in Christ because of our faith.
Then our obedience in life comes from our faith. Our faith works itself out and is evidenced by our works of obedience.
Our works of obedience DO NOT save us.
Ephesians 1 and 2 teach us that in Christ we are
Blessed, chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, sealed, loved, and saved BY faith! not by works.
We can’t be obedient to God if we are trying to be saved by our works. We can’t be obedient to God if we believe Baptism or money or doing good things saves us.
Our faith in Christ brings salvation and an understanding of why we are obedient and then, children, we see we are to give honor to the parents
II. Honor to the Parents
II. Honor to the Parents
Verse 2 is clear on this but I believe we need to ask our selves what this looks like. What is the application of Honor?
A. The Application of Honor
A. The Application of Honor
This is important because I believe that how we honor our parents changes over time.
As kids how we honor our parents will look different than how we honor them as adults.
I heard a story about one 12 year old girl that asked her mom one day, “Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project.”
The mom gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later the mom was in the little girls classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when she noticed her face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was “The oldest thing in my house.”
Now while I believe that little girl wanted to honor her mother by including her in the project, I don’t know if mom took it that way.
So how we honor our parents is important.
For children I believe the best ways to honor is to obey, love, and learn from.
For adults honor is given in the form of love, respect, and appreciation.
The application of those will look different in each of our lives as every family is a little different in how it operates.
So honor is universally the same is what it is. It’s to hold something in high regard, to revere. However what that looks like will change over time.
Why do we honor though? Because Jesus honored His Father.
Jesus honors His father in answering prayer
John 14:13
13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Jesus honors the father by doing His will
John 5:30
30 I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.
We honor our parents by carrying out their will and helping them just as Jesus did. I’m not telling you that your parents should dictate your life as an adult but they are definitely part of the group of counseleros from which you should seek wisdom.
As children, you should perform as they call on you to. They have that authority. At some point in your life though that authoirty transfers from them to your Heavenly Father. if you are a disobedient child to your earthly parents, chances are you will find yourself a disobedient child to your Heavenly Father.
So the application of Honor can look different.
But there is no question about the affirmation of honor
B. The Affirmation of Honor
B. The Affirmation of Honor
Eph 6:3
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
I recently read one mans early ideas of the application of this text. He wrote “Frankly, when I was a little guy I had my own ideas about that business of honoring parents so my days would be long upon the earth; I thought it meant that, if I didn’t honor them, Dad would kill me!”
While we hope that’s not the case for you I do want to say that just because a person dies young doesn’t mean they didn’t honor their parents.
I know how I was as a child and as a young adult in this area and well…let’s just say I’m a little shocked I made it to 32.
None the less, God affirms honoring your parents mutliple times throughout scripture. Some of the ways He does it is not by directly telling you but by allowing us to see it in Christ. We have already mentioned some ways that Jesus sought to honor the Father.
So why do we honor our parents? Jesus. This is the central theme of a gospel centered home. Why do we do, anything? Jesus.
Because our Savior did. When we put our focus on the gospel and what that good news is in our lives, our focus will be on Christ. our reasons for doing will be Jesus. It will be Jesus love for us. It will be Jesus’ death for us. It will be God’s mercy and grace in our lives.
It won’t be because a pastor said, it won’t be because a religious institution makes us, it will be because of Jesus.
Parents ,let’s make sure we are keeping our home focused on what’s important and that’s not sports, politics, or vacations, it’s on Jesus.
We’ve seen that we obey the Lord, we honor our parents, and latly I want us to see how we give grace to the children.
III. Grace to the Children
III. Grace to the Children
Eph 6:4
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Grace is an important part of the gospel. However, the understanding of grace has been skewed and misinterpreted over the years to lead to something that is not grace at all.
Grace is unmerited favor. It’s getting something you don’t deserve or as it’s applied often in scripture, it’s not getting what you do deserve.
As parents we must have a proper understanding of Grace from God so that we may extend it to our children.
A. The Parent’s Understanding
A. The Parent’s Understanding
The parents understanding of grace determines how it will be extended to the children.
Notice the work provoke there in verse 4. It is an action verb. We are to be actively NOT provoking our children to wrath.
I know in my home that some days I have to be very purposeful in the application of this text. Some days, I fail. Some days, I get it right.
In order to know how you’re doing with the application of grace in your home though, you must understand it.
Grace is not allowing a child to do whatever they want. Grace is not allowing a child to conduct themselves in whatever behavior they feel like in the moment. That is an understanding of grace that has been come to be called “Hyper grace”
Hyper grace is when we know to do right and don’t do it becuase we are forgiven any way. The apostle Paul had something to say about that
Rom 6:15
15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
God forbid we should conduct ourselves that way. Parents, we have a responsiblity to show grace the same way God shows grace. That may look like what God did for King Hezekiah in the Old Testament where His prayer was heard and his life was extended Or it may look like the whale that ate Jonah in order to get Jonah back on track.
Grace can look like punishment to those that don’t understand it. Thank God for that whale in jonah’s life. It was that whale that God used to bring Jonah to the undderstanding that he needed to go to Ninevah because it was God’s will.
See Jonah was being disobedeint and God provided correction. Parents, we must provide proper correction to our children when they have sinned against us. This grace helps them understand that obedience to God’s will in their lives can have results they could never imagine.
Think about Jonah before that whale. What if someone hadd come up to him and said “Jonah, your going to lead a country to god by your preaching.” he may have laughed you out of the room.
Once God called Him though, He would have known it to be true. He knew it was true when he got called. That’s why he ran to the sea. he didn’t want Ninevah to repent.
Parents, God’s grace in our lives isn’t so we can live in America…although that’s great. It isn’t so we can have nice things and live an American dream. parents, God’s grace in our lives is so that we may live for His glory honor and praise. The grace extend to your children should have the same goal. To honor God.
The parents understanding of grace will effect the children’s upbringing
B. The Children’s Upbringing
B. The Children’s Upbringing
Parents we are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The word that is translated nurture from the Greek is disciplinary correction. Which is what we talked about with Jonah.
Admonition is a mild rebuke or warning. We are to correct them with discipline and rebuke them of their behavior ultimately not because they have sinned against us....but because they have sinned against God.
Remember, when raising a child we are not seeking to develop them into children. They’ve already got that one down. We are trying to develop them into men and women that Love and live for the Lord while being productive members of society.
Your child’s upbringing will be determined by your belief in Jesus and the gospel
When we have our lives consumed by the gospel we will find ourselves living out the truths of the gospel in every role that God has us in.
What do you believe about Jesus? What do you believe about the gospel? the answers to those two questions, whether you know it or not, are impacting your life on a daily basis.
Are you living a gospel centered life in your home? Are you raising your children with a gospel centered upbringing?
Time of Response
Time of Response
Here at Liberty we end each service by having a time of response. A time where we seek to take the truths of scripture that have been brought to light today and ask God how we can apply them this week.
This is you moment to talk with God.
What you believe about the gospel is the most important thing in your life. You see, the Bible says
27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:
What you believe about the gospel will determine what that judgement will look like.
36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.
What we have to choose when it comes ot the gospel isn’t just how we will live our lives. It’s whether or not we want the grace of God or the wrath of God.
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Rom 10:9, 13
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
If your here this morning and you would like to trust Jesus as your savior I’d like to help you confirm that with a prayer. The words of the prayer are not important. What you believe about your sins being forgiven by the death burial and resurrection of Christ is everything.
You can say something like this
“Dear Jesus, I know I’m a sinner, I believe you came to die on the cross and rose from the dead. I put my faith right now in you and ask you to come into my life and change me from the inside out. Amen.”
For those who know Jesus…what areas of your life, especially in your home have not been gospel focused and Christ honoring? Confess those as sin and seek the Holy Spirit to guide you in adjusting them.
PRAY
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