Let's Be Adults About It
Notes
Transcript
Light it Up
Light it Up
A few weeks ago Sara woke me up in the middle of the night, it was about 3:00, b/c the security light above our garage door was going on and off.
We have motion-censor security light above our garage door that helps us see when we get home from being out at night.
And, provides security during the night.
My vehicle sits out on the driveway during the summer.
I’m still a little sensitive.
Even in broad daylight bad guys will do bad things like drill my gas tank and steal my gas.
But, he was well-hidden.
Bad guys who are out to do bad things don’t like the light and will try to keep what they are doing hidden from view..
She gets me up, I’m still pretty groggy, trying to think what it might be.
Javelina, raccoons, skunks, somebody messing w/ my car.
I turn the light on by the front door to try to scare off whatever it may be, but the flashing continues.
What’s going on? Still in my pajamas, didn’t do my hair, still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I go down to our driveway.
I get my eyes open and adjusted to the dark and you know what happens. The light comes on right in my eyes.
I can’t see again.
My eyes have to adjust to the light. And, the light goes off.
It’s dark again.
I stand still, block the light w/ my hand so I can see what’s going on when it comes back on.
What I see is a big glob of old cobwebs hanging down, blowing in the wind. Big enough for the motion-censor to pick it up.
I get a broom, knock down the cobwebs, head back upstairs and try to get back to sleep.
Problem solved.
Why do we have the light in the first place? B/C, bad guys who are trying to do bad things on my property don’t like tb seen so they don’t like the light. It discourages them from doing what they want to do.
They don’t want anyone to see them so they can get away w/ it w/out getting caught and having to pay for it.
And if they get away w/ it on my property, to my stuff, I’m going get mad.
We are not going t/b friends.
If somebody steals your stuff or breaks it, then you’re not going t/b best buds. Not the way it works.
For the rest of us, in the church, in the community, let’s be friends. And let’s agree t/b adults about it.
Let’s not sneak around in the dark, behind each other’s backs, doing things and saying things that are hurtful.
Let’s work hard, using all the fruit that God makes available, kindness, goodness, love, self-control; along w/ the strength he provides to not say things and do things that hurt.
Let’s keep it all out in the open where whatever we do can be seen.
But, it’s inevitable, we won’t be successful all the time. We’re going to do these things from time to time.
So, in those times when we do fail each other, let’s agree to own it, apologize for it, and stop doing it. Then, let’s forgive each other.
This is John’s message in this passage we’re looking at today:
Let’s be friends and let’s be adults about it.
He just introduced his letter affirming that most important event in history is also the most proven fact in history.
B/C Jesus did what He did for us, we do this for each other.
To begin w/, one of the truths we understand as Christians is, God sees everything. There is nothing that we can do to hide from him.
I have personally see God very creatively out ppl when they thought they were getting away w/ something.
We can hide things from each other. Usually, eventually, it comes to light. But, everything we do in in the light when it comes to God.
First of all, we have realize we are always in the light.
Always in the Light
Always in the Light
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
Remember, we’re talking about an eye-witness who was personally close to Jesus when He was here the first time.
If you were to read everything John wrote in one sitting, his gospel, 3 letters, and Revelation, it might take you an hour.
But, he was w/ Jesus for 3 years. And, there is a lot that Jesus did and said that did not get written down.
In fact, he even referred to this a couple times in his gospel
Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
Now, John is letting in on conversations he had w/ Jesus that were not written anywhere else.
What they talked about was, Light exposes behavior, words and actions.
In Jesus’ case, He has nothing to hide b/c he never did anything wrong.
The Light exposes Jesus’ holiness. He is perfect. So different than anyone else.
At the same time, this letter is written to Xians, we are in Christ, therefore, we live in the Light, too. All the time.
And, the Light exposes our behavior. Our behavior is just a little different than Jesus’. Or, a lot.
Our words and deeds are exposed for what they are, good and bad. There is not hiding this stuff from God.
They are all evaluated. And we are addressed appropriately by God.
As Children of God, we can’t sever the relationship any more than any of my 3 can sever their relationship w/ me.
My kids are always my kids.
But, our behavior will affect how close we are. That is, the quality of the rel. we have.
In God’s case, his behavior is perfect. He never does anything to push us away.
We, however, sometimes struggle to maintain a level of behavior to keep ourselves close to Him.
There is only 1 reason to be lurking, sneaking around in the dark, or places where we don’t expect t/b seen.
We’re trying to get away w/ something we know we shouldn’t be doing.
If we shouldn’t be doing it, then it means somebody is going to get hurt. And, on some level we’ve decided the hurt we are inflicting is worth it.
But, if we are going to be friends, we are not going to hurt each other, intentionally or otherwise.
If we are going t/b friends then we need to act like it.
This is a condition that we need to meet.
And, there are 3 more conditions that John wrote that need t/b met, too and are related to this one.
3 Conditions
3 Conditions
If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
Each of these conditions start out, “If we claim to...”
And the claims are made about fundamentals in the Xian life. None of these conditions are a case of some do and some don’t.
Some may claim they don’t. But every believer does. John is clearing up something that some believers thought made them different from the others.
Condition #1
If we claim to have fellowship w/ Jesus and yet sneak around in the dark, keeping secrets of the bad stuff we are doing, then we are living a lie.
We are masters of justification and compartmentalization thinking we are getting away w/ stuff, justifying it, and asserting that we still are close to Jesus.
No way. Impossible.
If this isn’t something Jesus Himself would have done then you are pushing Him away every time you do it.
Important to get. You’re still saved, a child of God and a sheep of the Great Shepherd. But, you’re not as close as you think or as close as you should be.
A shepherd never let his sheep wander away.
Among the consequences of a distance from God is we don’t experience all the fruit and power He makes available to us to its fullest extent.
You’ve got all the muscles you are going to get. You were born w/ them. But, if you don’t develop them they will stay weak.
You’ve got a bicep but if you don’t work it you’ll struggle to life a 5-lb bag of sugar.
You’ve got the peace, patience, kindness, goodness, love, and self-control you need to do whatever you need to do.
But if you are keeping secrets about bad stuff you’re doing you fruit is wimpy and weak.
Connect the dots. Secret sins, God at a distance, wimpy fruit, ppl at a distance.
You’re not going to treat ppl very well.
The fruit is a resource to help you act like you’re a friend.
W/out it, you don’t.
You’ve heard of putting lipstick on a pig. Making your face look good, thinking you look good. But as soon as someone gets a closer look at the other end, they realize who you really are.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that if you always tell the truth you don’t need a long memory. If you lie, you have to remember all the lies for as long as ppl are asking.
When you live in the light you can relax b/c you do not need to be anxious that someone is going to find something out about you that you’ve been hiding in the dark.
This isn’t about sinless perfection. But it where we put a lot of effort to reduce the amount of sin in our lives.
We will never eradicate it entirely. So, when we do slip us, the blood of Jesus is there to pay God back what we owe Him for hurting Him.
If we don’t stop doing what we know is wrong, we cheapen the blood of Jesus.
No big deal. He died. Whatever.
Oh, it’s a big deal. And to appreciate what is actually cost him should motivate us to stop doing what needs His blood to be paid for.
The less we do, the less we have to confess and make right.
Then the better our relationship w/ God will be.
Condition #2
If we claim that we don’t sin, we are lying to ourselves.
There is no way to eradicate it entirely. Too hard. Given what’s inside us and how our pride works, we will never eliminate it from our lives.
When we sin, we hurt ourselves before we hurt anyone else.
Then, lying about it multiplies the harm we do.
When we caught our kids doing something wrong and were about to punish them, if they lied about it the punishment was automatically doubled.
If the punishment was one swat and they lied to us, they got 2.
If the punishment was grounded for a week and they lied to us, they got 2.
We may not even be aware of the pain we are introducing to ourselves when we do this stuff.
The bottom line motivation to sin is thinking we can improve our lives somehow.
The consequences may not all show up for some time but they will be far worse than if we had just done the right thing all along.
And, when do sin, we can minimize the damage if we would simply own what we did, admit it, apologize for it, and stop doing it.
Jesus died for this. Not just in a general sense. But, for the specific things we do that hurt God and other ppl.
“I’m sorry if...” is no apology. That puts the responsibility on the one who was hurt. As if to say maybe you shouldn’t have allowed yourself to be hurt.
Well, maybe I wasn’t clear. yes you hurt me. Not “ifs” about it. Not own it.
Sorry you got caught is no apology. Sorry everyone is mad at you is no apology.
Own what you did that you got caught doing that made everybody mad. Now, stop doing it.
Jesus’ forgiveness is assured. It’s there t/b claimed. He knew what you were going to do before you did it and he died for it anyway.
But the only way to accept it is to be completely transparent about what you did, why you did it, and what you should have done instead. And then, do everything in your power to make it right.
That’s confession and repentance. We have to dive deeply into the mess we created to appreciate the grace that lifts us out.
Righteousness is a right relationship w/ God.
Unrighteousness is a damaged, distance relationship w/ God. There is still a rel. But it’s not good b/c we did, or are doing, something that creates a distance.
When we confess and stop doing it, the distance between us and God is eliminated. And we can be fully restored to a right rel., as good as it ever was before.
Then, Condition #3
If we claim we have not sinned we are calling God a liar.
This is the same claim as the previous one but from a different perspective.
To call God a liar is really a bad idea.
God’s word is the perfect standard. No one lives up to it all the time.
So, if you say you do, then you’re saying God’s word is wrong.
Take the 10 Commandments
The first 4 are about our rel w/ God. Have no other gods. Don’t worship a carved rock.
The last 6 are about our rel.s w/ ea other.
If you murder someone, some ppl are going to be really mad at you.
If you commit adultery, likewise, ppl will be mad.
Jesus, in the sermon on the mount in Mt, clarified where the standard is and when we violate these commands.
There were religious leaders who believed they hadn’t sinned by violating these commands.
I haven’t murdered anybody.
But Jesus said, if you hate someone you’ve violated the standard. If you hate them, you want them dead.
Or, haven’t slept w/ anyone other than my wife.
But, Jesus said if you’ve looked at another woman, or this day and age a man, and wanted to be intimate w/ them then you’ve violated the command.
Not just the actions are the problem, but the ‘want to’ is just as big of a problem. If you commit the want to, then you’ve hurt yourself, your rel w/ God, and you’ve made ppl around you mad enough to not want to be your friend any more.
The bible is not a book of do’s and don’t’s. It’s a book about how to have good relationships. And there are do’s and don’t’s to have good relationships but the rel’s are the priority.
If we are going t/b friends then we have to act like. This is not about sinless perfection.
We have to work hard to reduce the things we do that hurt us. It hurts God, too.
But when it happens, as believers, we have an Advocate who argues w/ God on our behalf to not give up on us.
Our Advocate
Our Advocate
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
John, here, emphasizes the relationship he has w/ these ppl.
And he says, very directly, STOP IT!. Stop doing the things that hurt you and everybody else.
B/C, when you hurt others, you hurt your rel w/ God.
And advocate is someone like a lawyer, who argues your case for you. They know the law. They know the judge. They know what the judge needs to hear in order to acquit you.
They say a defendant who defends himself has a fool for a client.
If you try to argue you case yourself to God that would be foolish thing.
Jesus has a perfect relationship w/ His Father who is our Judge. He knows how to talk to Him and what to say.
Of course, the most important thing He can say is that He has already been punished for the thing you did b/c you accepted his punishment on your behalf.
I’ve told you about my friend, Stephen Fader, who works security for the owners of the D-Backs in their field box.
When we already have tickets and are in the stadium, and the owners are not using their seats, and we are wearing our D-Backs gear, my friend can upgrade us and get us seats right behind the on deck circle.
Our Advocate in Heaven can upgrade our seats w/out us even having tickets to get into heaven. He’ll pay for the tickets.
We don’t have to have our own gear to wear. He will clothe us.
We’re not even in the stadium and He will get us seats at the table.
He paid for it all. Not just for us, but everyone in the whole world. All we have to do is claim the seats.
Believe it. Believe in Him. Claim the forgiveness. Claim the fruit. Claim the power.
Use what He gives you and stop doing the things that break up friendships.
Let’s be friends. And let’s be adults about it. Own it when we mess up. Apologize for it. Stop doing it.
Then, let’s forgive ea other just like Jesus forgave us.
Applications
Applications
Secret
Secret
Is there a secret you are keeping about something you are doing in the dark that you’re hoping no one else finds out about?
Who do you need to confess it to?
God and who else?
You’re lying to yourself, hurting yourself more than you know.
You’re hurting someone else to. Worse than you realize.
And, you’re pushing God away.
Confess it. Own it. Apologize for it. Stop it.
Awareness
Awareness
A friend of ours was a new believer and Sara was talking to her about confessing sin.
She honestly said that she didn’t think she sinned.
Some years later, they both look back at that convo and laugh.
God is gracious not to unload the whole load on you when you first come to Christ.
Are you aware of the sins you commit?
If you can’t name the last sin you committed, the action or the want to, then either you’re Jesus or you’re not listening.
First, be aware that you do. Then do what you need to do to take care of it.
Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself
Are you the only one who hasn’t forgiven you for what you’ve done?
Are you still beating yourself up?
Jesus’ forgiveness is a done deal you just have to claim it.
Maybe you have to work a little harder to forgive yourself.
Don’t hold yourself to a standard that God doesn’t hold you to.
Let it go. God has forgiven you.
For the rest of us, in the church, in the community, let’s be friends. And let’s agree t/b adults about it.
Let’s not sneak around in the dark, behind each other’s backs, doing things and saying things that are hurtful.
Let’s work hard, using all the fruit that God makes available, kindness, goodness, love, self-control; along w/ the strength he provides to not say things and do things that hurt.
Let’s keep it all out in the open where whatever we do can be seen.
But, it’s inevitable, we won’t be successful all the time. We’re going to do these things from time to time.
So, in those times when we do fail each other, let’s agree to own it, apologize for it, and stop doing it. Then, let’s forgive each other.
