Accountability

Intro

Tonight, we begin a new series called “101: Back to Basics.”

The four lessons in this series are designed for us to look at some of the basics of the Christian life. The topics of these lessons are basic skills needed by any follower of Jesus. Once you have trusted Christ as Savior, your goal should be to grow to be more like Him. The four lessons in this series will help you to strengthen your foundation and help you to grow to be more like Christ.

One of the most fundamental, yet difficult basics of Christian life is having personal accountability. In our relationships with each other, we should help each other toward Christ-like living. As we talked about last week we want to work on getting ourselves back into a rhythm in this new school year where we are growing in our walk with Jesus.

Lesson Content

As it is with any basic topic, it is wise to begin with fundamental questions: what, why, how, when, and where.

I. Accountability – What is it? (Ask question)

Before we begin, we’ll need to all get on the same page and look at the definition of accountability. “Accountability” is defined as “working with someone else who will ask tough questions to help you grow in your spiritual disciplines and convictions.”

a. So we see, Accountability is a Partnership. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Look at the wording of the definition, “Working with someone else.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

Did you notice the positive side of a partnership described in this verse? They help each other. If either of them falls, the other is there to help. We all can use a little help now and then. An accountability relationship is not one-sided; both people help each other.

b. We also see, Accountability has a Purpose. (1 Peter 2:2)

If we go back to our definition again, we will find that purpose. “To help you grow in your spiritual disciplines and convictions.” [Show the accountability definition PowerPoint slide again then read 1 Peter 2:2.]

1 Peter 2:2, “2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation”

Accountability is not just a partnership. It is not just two people hanging out, watching a movie, or having a meal together. We can do those things with your accountability partner, but the main purpose of the partnership is not to just be friends but, in the friendship, help each other grow to be more like Christ.

When we talk about having an accountability partner what you are getting is a partner who will help you be more like Christ.

So, why do you think it seem that people tend to shy away from an accountability relationship?

It’s because of its process.

a. Accountability has a Process. (Ephesians 4:15)

The process is what most people struggle with.

The definition of accountability tells us. “Working with someone else, who will ask you tough questions…” This is the process of accountability. If we are going to have an accountability relationship, we have to be vulnerable enough, transparent enough, to let someone ask us tough questions in order to help us be more like Christ. But remember, accountability is a partnership, not a one-way interrogation. This is why it is important to find your accountability within a community setting and not create a partnership with someone you don’t really know. The goal is not to just “go find a person who will ask you tough questions so you can confess how bad you are.” The goal is to help both of you be more like Christ.

Let’s be honest, the most difficult part of an accountability relationship is not usually the asking of the questions, but the giving of honest answers. Answering those questions from someone you already share community with is tough enough; imagine trying to answer those tough questions from someone you don’t really know or doesn’t really know you!

Unfortunately, the process for many accountability relationships can seem more like legalism than grace. Do you know what that means? Well, some have interpreted the idea of “asking tough questions” in a very negative light. Some look at it like:

● “I’m looking over your shoulder to see where you are sinning. I’m gonna catch you.”

● “I am keeping a record of where you messed up.”

● “If you know you have to answer my questions, you will be guilted into doing right.”

But these are all skewed views of accountability. Accountability requires that we speak the truth, but it must be done in love. Ephesians 4:15, tells us, “15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ”

We must allow someone to “speak the truth in love” so we can “grow up in all things.” There are times when it is important for someone to “call us out” on unwise choices, sinful or not, the process of asking tough questions shouldn’t be so negative.

More often than not, “speaking the truth in love” should simply be reminding your partner what is true about their relationship with Christ and calling them to live in the freedom from sin that Christ gives. It could simply be calling your partner to focus on the newness of life that is theirs as a result of their relationship with Jesus.

Accountability is a partnership. It has a purpose. It has a process.

So the next question you might ask is, “Why should I be involved in accountability?”

II. Accountability – Why Should I?

We have four passages from the bible that support the question “Why,” and will encourage, all of us to choose to have some type of accountability relationship in our lives. So, why accountability?

a. So You Can Be Sharpened! (Proverbs 27:17)

Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “17  Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

This verse tells us a time-tested, practical truth with a visual. Just like iron sharpens iron, a man/woman also sharpens his or her friend.

It’s just like a knife. The more you use the knife to cook and cut things the duller it’ll get. And in order to get that knife back in shape to cut right you need to sharpen it.

Accountability is a sharpening process. When we ask the tough questions and answer honestly, we are better prepared to live in a way that brings glory to God.

Our goal is not to look good in front of others, the goal is to be like Christ. If all you accomplish is the approval of those around you, you have missed the point. If your accountability relationship only drives you to look good on the outside, you have done nothing but turn yourself into a self-righteous hypocrite.

b. So We Can Live in Freedom. (Acts 13:38-39)

It is miserable to live in bondage. Unfortunately, we make poor choices in life that lead us to become slaves to sin. An accountability partner can help us live in the freedom that God intended us to live. As we meet with our partner, we should be reminding each other of our freedom in Christ. When Jesus died on the cross and was raised again, sin was defeated. And because of that we are free from sin!

1. Free from Sin (Acts 13:38-39)

Acts 13:38-39 says, “38 Let it be known to you therefore, brothers, that through this man forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you, 39 and by him everyone who believes is freed from everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses.”

Through Jesus, we have forgiveness of sins! But, there is something better! Acts 13:39 reminds us that by Jesus everyone who believes is justified! The word “justified” means “to declare one righteous.” Not only do you have forgiveness of sin, you are set free from every sin! Our accountability relationships should be a place where we are reminded that we are free from sin.

But, we must be careful not to trade one type of bondage for another. We are not just free from sin; we are free from the struggle of living in a constant state of “trying to do more” or “trying to do better.”

2. Free from the Struggle (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)

All too often we can find ourselves struggling with thoughts like, “I should live better. I should do better. I have to do more for God. Try harder to be better.” When we think like this it robs us of our freedom in Christ. Living the Christian life is not about “clean up,” “get better,” or “try harder.” It is not about “I need to do what I should do,” but its about how my love for Christ compels me to live for Him. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 says, “14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”

The Christian life is not about behavior modification. Our accountability relationships should not be about shaming us into doing the right thing. Our accountability relationships should be a place where we are reminded that we are free from this “try harder” mentality and called to fall in love with Jesus Christ.

3. Free from Self-righteousness (Philippians 3:7-11)

We also need to make sure that we don’t fall into a third kind of bondage. In our accountability relationship, we should not get caught up into thinking that doing “all the religious stuff” makes us righteous before God. If we are not careful a sin issue can be create in us; a sense of self-righteousness.

Why accountability? So you can live in the freedom of Jesus Christ. But here is another reason. We should remember these words in Philippians 3:7-11, “7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”

c. So You Know How to Pray for Each Other! (James 5:16)

Accountability allows us to share the deep parts of our hearts with one another so that we can pray for the other person. James 5:16 tells us, “16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. aThe prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Prayer is key to our growth in Christ. Accountability partners need to be prayer warriors for each other.

It’s perfectly understandable to be hesitant with some of this. It can be hard to trust others with such personal information. Our hurts and deepest secrets are not something we want told to everyone in the youth group, right? It may take time to find the right person to be accountable to and with. It will take time to develop trust. This is one more reason why accountability relationships should not be forced or fabricated relationships but born out of community with one another.

Another reason is.

d. So You Can See Restored Lives! (Galatians 6:1-2)

Galatians 6:1-2 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

If, or when, someone wanders from the truth, the accountability relationship can be the opportunity for restoring that person in Christ. We bear each other’s burdens and lead one another back to Christ. And this passage tells us that it should be done in a spirit of gentleness.

The passage that we read in Galatians reminds us that it could one day be you who needs restoration. Wouldn’t you want someone to encourage you, in a spirit of gentleness, to come back into a right relationship with your Creator? Our accountability relationship should be a place where we can lovingly call each other up to live the way God intended us to live.

If we had to sum it all up, why accountability? Because we should call each other to Christ-like living.

Connection

Now for the next question.

III. Accountability – How Can I?

Accountability is a partnership. The most natural place to find accountability is in community you already have (family, youth group, church, etc.). If you try to find accountability with someone that you do not already have a relationship with, you tend to set yourself up for an awkward, even legalistic, partnership. The best accountability is a result of genuine, yet transparent, community; it is a partnership that calls each other kindly to Christ-like living.

The best place to begin is to look around for someone who is willing to call you to Christ-like living. Find someone who will be encouraging and someone who will remind you of who you are in Christ. Find someone who is trustworthy and motivated, willing to invest in your life, willing to pray for you, willing to call you up to live in the freedom that Christ gives.

Wisdom says that your accountability partner should be someone of the same gender. There are just some things that are more effectively discussed with someone of the same gender.

One word of caution, don’t get tunnel vision and only consider someone of popular status or someone who is “super-spiritual.” Just because you have a high level of respect for someone doesn’t mean they should be your accountability partner. They may not have the time, or they may already be investing in someone else. Don’t try to force it.

The most natural place to find accountability is in the community that already surrounds you. No doubt your pastor or youth pastor, your youth leader, could be a great mentor, but just because that is “the person” you want, doesn’t mean they will make a good accountability partner for you.

IV. Accountability – When Should I?

When should you begin an accountability partnership? The answer is simple. You should begin an accountability partnership when you need to be reminded to live like Christ.

For most of us, that is every day. We need a reminder of who we are in Christ. We need a reminder that we have been called to freedom from sin, freedom from the daily struggle of attempting to earn the love of Christ, and freedom from our own self-righteousness. We need someone who will pray for us. If you need those things, it is time to start an accountability partnership.

V. Accountability – Where Should I?

Finally, let’s answer the “Where should I?” This question doesn’t have one right or wrong answer. You can meet with an accountability partner wherever is appropriate. Your meetings could simply be text messages or phone calls. You could meet in an online format like Zoom or Facebook Live.

Usually, the best way to meet is face to face. It could be a meeting at a coffee shop, ice cream store, or restaurant. It is wise to avoid places where you and your partner are isolated. Keep your parents or guardians in the loop. Let them know where you will be meeting, with whom you will be meeting, and how long you will be meeting.

Well, there it is, Accountability 101. You know what it is, why you should be involved, how to begin, when to begin, and where to begin. It doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to know that the next question is “Will you begin?”