XP3 FAM wk1

BOTTOM LINE:

Loving your family is how your faith can make an impact.

INTRO/INTERACTIVE: FAMILY TIES

QUESTION IDEAS

· Does your family have inside jokes?

· Do you use nicknames in your family?

· Do you fight with your family?

· Do you have any siblings?

· Do you share clothes or shoes with anyone in your family?

· Do you share a room with someone in your family?

· Does your family eat meals together?

· Do you have fun with your family?

Family. It's the one thing we all have in common.

Of course, our families can look really different from each other.

For some of us, family means

one parent and a few siblings.

Or it means two parents and no siblings.

It may mean a mother, a step-mother, a father, a step-father, and four half brothers and sisters.

Or it may mean three dogs, your dad, his girlfriend who lives with you, and her daughter.

Maybe your family is the one that adopted you or the aunt or uncle you live with now.

Or maybe it’s the foster family you live with or the friends around you who feel more like your family.

When we talk about family, it can look so different for each of us.

Families can be . . .

- The biological family you live with or the biological parents you’ve never met.

- Your extended family members.

- People who aren’t related to you, but have become part of your family.

- Your “chosen family,” like your friend group, Small Group, or a trusted adult in your life.

No matter what your FAMILY currently looks like or has looked like in the past,

we all come from or are part of a family of some kind.

AND LIKE IT OR NOT our family is our family!

So, since we’re talking about families, let me introduce you to mine!

MY FAMILY PHOTO

— there are 7 of us kids — which is a lot of kids! Made things interesting growing up I guess.. Whenever we would go out there would be people looking at us and counting how many of us there are.

Families make us crazy — and sometimes embarrass us — but often Family will cheer for you the loudest.

Family can get on your nerves and maybe you have some strange family members But its still your family.

TENSION

3 MINUTES

Now here’s the thing: I know not everyone likes being around their family.

And that’s because family can be stressful, unpredictable, and even exhausting at times.

Because with families there can be:

Fighting,

health issues,

divorce,

lying,

rules we don’t understand,

yelling

—all these things and more can make family pretty complicated.

Now take all of that and then add faith to that equation.

Believe it or not, faith—what each of you believes or doesn’t believe—can make things even more complicated with your family.

Whether you’ve been a Christian for a long time or this Jesus thing is really new to you, here’s what I want you to know:

Faith can create tension in your family.

Maybe you know this is true because your faith is really important to you. What you believe influences the way you live, and the way you live impacts your family. And that’s complicated because you have a parent, or step-parent, or sibling who doesn’t see faith the same way you do.

Simply put, they aren’t Christians, and you are. Or maybe they are Christians, but they give you a hard time for taking it so seriously. And honestly, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to talk about any of this faith stuff with them at all. They believe something totally different than you do, and that feels strange.

Or maybe for you, faith impacts your fam in a different way. Because in your home, it’s your mom, or foster parent, or grandparent who is really into this Jesus stuff.

They love reading the Bible and going to church. And they think you should love it, too! But if you’re honest, you aren’t all that interested. In fact, maybe you’re here because someone in your family made you come.

Maybe they forced you to come because they want you to believe what they believe.

Or maybe they send you to church as a punishment for something you did that they think a little faith could fix. For you, faith is certainly making things in your family a lot more complicated!

Or maybe, you aren’t really sure about how your family and faith mix. Maybe you’ve always just said you believed because your parents told you to. But as you get older, you’re not so sure what you really think.

but, you keep going through the motions, but inside, you have a lot of questions and you are not sure if you can talk to your family about it.

Or maybe you have one parent that believes and one that doesn’t and you feel stuck in the middle— Or you don’t want to disappoint mom or Dad that you really look up to so you havn’t really been willing to give church/ God/ Faith a chance.

See what I mean? In one way or another, faith can create tension in families.

Which is confusing, because we’re also told that faith is somehow supposed to make things better .

But that doesn’t always feel like it’s true, does it? So, the question is:

If faith can create tension in our families, how do we make sure our faith is actually helping to make our families better?

TRUTH

The good news is I have an answer to that question.

Well, it’s not my answer actually; it’s something Jesus Himself actually said. And a guy named John, one of Jesus’ closest friends and followers, wrote it down so that we could learn from it today.

Before I tell you exactly what Jesus said, let me explain a little bit about what was happening when He said it.

Just before Jesus was going to be arrested and eventually killed on the cross, He called His close friends and followers together for a meal. Even though Jesus had warned them that He was going to die, they didn’t really understand. It didn’t click with them that this was going to be the last meal they shared together as a family.

To them, they were just doing what they always did as a family—sitting around a table, sharing a meal, and talking about life.

But because Jesus knew what was coming.

He wanted to share a few important words with His closest people. So, at that dinner, He dropped this important truth to His fam:

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” John 13:35 (NIV).

That word, “disciples,” simply means that you follow Jesus.

Jesus was saying that people will know we follow Him and believe in Him by the way we love each other.

Jesus knew difficult times were coming. That His friends would be scared, persecuted, and even tempted to turn their back on Him.

Yet, when it all came down to it, Jesus took this one last opportunity to remind them that loving each other was the most important thing they could do.

Loving each other was the way they could show the world that they believed in Him.

Loving each other was the way their faith could make an impact.

And you know what? I think the same can be true in our families!

If we want faith to do more than create tension in our family—if we want it to actually impact our families for the better—then it’s not about winning them to our side. It’s not about convincing each other to believe the same thing or arguing about what’s true or right.

It’s just about love. Because loving your family is how your faith can make an impact.

Of course, this isn’t always easy. Loving your family the way Jesus asks us to can be really difficult.

In fact, some days it may be the hardest thing you’re called to do.

But Jesus knew that. and so God helps us with that too

God led a guy named Paul to write a bunch of letters to churches to instruct and encourage them in their faith.

They were living after Jesus’ death and resurrection, and honestly, most of them were a lot like us. They were people just trying to figure out how this whole faith thing impacts the different parts of our lives.

In one of his letters, Paul laid out for them (and us!) exactly what it looks like to love others:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).

When Jesus calls us to love one another, this is what He’s asking us to do.

To be patient,

kind,

humble,

respectful,

and selfless.

To not get upset easily or hold grudges.

To protect, and trust, and hope, and stick it out with the people around us. To love our fam the way Jesus calls us to love them.

You see, loving your family is how your faith can make an impact. Love is where it starts!

APPLICATION

No matter what you believe or what your family believes when it comes to faith, this is something we can all do.

We can all try to love the people in our fam just a little more. If you’re doing it because you believe in Jesus, that’s great!

But if you’re not sure that you believe in Jesus, trying to love your family can still make things better.

So this week, here’s what I want you to think about: What does it look like to love your family?

It could mean being patient and kind to the adults in your home.

To not be arrogant when you talk about your beliefs with your family members who believe something different.

To not be jealous of what your siblings have, not be rude to your mom, not be hot-tempered or quick to react to your dad.

Whatever it is, give that a try this week!

And to help you not get overwhelmed, start by picking just one.

Pick just one of the many ways you can show love that Paul listed in his letter. Start there. Focus on that one, and you will see that love is how our faith makes our family better.

Because honestly, love is what changes people. Love is what faith is all about. And even if it doesn’t change them, it can change you.

Remember, loving your family is how your faith can make an impact.

LANDING

We’re going to continue this conversation in Small Groups.

Actually, we created Small Groups to be sort of like your family here at church.

A safe space for you to open up, ask questions, and share some of what you’re going through with people who love you and want what’s best for your life.

So, as we head to Small Groups, I want you to think about this question:

What’s one way I can show my family love this week?