Graveside Service for John Kryzaniak

We gather here today to mourn for what feels like the premature loss of John Kryzaniak. But today we also gather to remember and celebrate his life. Though his life was short, it was also full and impacted the lives of so many others. Nevertheless, as we stand here today, we grieve. And we desire the help of our Lord as we do so. So will you pray with me?

Our heavenly father, we come today at a loss. There is so much we don’t understand. We don’t understand why John got cancer. We don’t understand why he had to die so young. We don’t understand how to deal with the hurt we feel. But Lord, we pray today that you would grant us your strength. Strength to hold tight to you when we don’t understand, strength to carry on, and strength to trust in you for the hope of a reunion with John in Heaven. Grant your comfort and your strength to us today as we grieve, we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

John F. Kryzaniak III was born June 13th, 2005 to Brittany Poulson and John Kryzaniak Jr. in Macomb, Illinois. He attended the La Harpe Elementary and Junior High School and was a student at Illini West High School. John had many interests, probably chief among which was his love for all things Marvel. He was particularly fond of Groot. He also loved the band Twenty One Pilots. He enjoyed playing games on the PS4, hanging out with his friends and he loved spending time with his little brother and spent many hours putting Legos together with him. He was most at home with his family and friends and loved them very much. He had hoped to enlist in the United States Navy and see the world, hoping in the future to become a robotic engineer.

John was diagnosed with brain cancer and fought valiantly against it. Some of his treatments were done at the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, TN. He received wonderful care from the staff there, and while he was there he also had the opportunity to throw out the first pitch at a Memphis Redbirds game and also met Jason Motte. He relished some of the unique experiences he was able to enjoy, even in the midst of what was literally the fight of his life.

John’s battle with cancer ended on Monday, August 24th, 2020 in his room at home, surrounded by his family and friends. He is survived by many family members and friends, including his group of close friends, known affectionately as his crew.

It has been fun this week to get to see John through the eyes of his friends and family members. Most of my experience with John came from substitute teaching at the school or the youth events he attended at our church. He was always very well behaved and polite to me. This week I have learned that what I saw was not always the whole picture. While John was a good kid, he was also always up for an adventure. And he was also happy to create one if needed.

John’s crew tells me that John was always the one who found interesting things for them to do. He was the energetic force in their group. Most summers, they spent time hanging out together every day. These days often included games of hide and seek that were played throughout the entire city of La Harpe. I’m told that John was an excellent seeker and was able to find people easily. But since he was tall and lanky, he was not the best at hiding, and the other guys always seemed to find him fairly quickly. They spent many days playing video games together, getting into mischief, and just joking around together.

At school, John and the crew often found themselves looking for ways to entertain themselves in their study hall at the end of the day (because apparently doing homework was not an option…) One of the games they liked to play was Dare or Dare. The idea was that Truth or Dare was too boring, so they decided to dare each other to do things they thought might get each other in trouble, and see if they could get away with it. Sometimes they did…other times, not so much. They speak fondly of the day they actually managed to have a battle throwing colored pencils at each other during the study hall. And they said the battle kept raging even after they left the school. Many of their adventures together began in study hall and carried on after school.

Apparently many of their misadventures did as well. Almost all of the boys had stories about times they had ended up with detentions as a result of their antics in study hall. They all agreed, however, that John was always up to try to defend them if he could. I’m told that John’s motto in these situations was simple, “Deny, deny, deny!” He was quick-witted and could often defuse a situation with humor or a clever explanation. On more than one occasion, John even managed to get the teacher to assign the detention to him instead of one of his friends, as he didn’t want them to get in trouble. He was even willing to talk to his friends’ parents to try to explain situations that might sound bad coming from anyone else.

Though John had a mischievous streak, he was also one of the most caring young men you’d ever meet. Everyone I have talked to had a story of how John had gone out of his way to do something for them. Whether that was looking for video games he could give to his friends, finding ways to get them cool gifts, including them in some of his special experiences, and just defending or looking out for his friends, John made it clear that he cared about you and that you mattered to him.

As much as he would give his teachers a hard time, he was also eminently polite and respectful to adults. Whenever he came over to the Browns’ house, he would ask permission before coming in, and he would thank them for letting him come over. He seemed to genuinely appreciate the people around him. The place this was probably the most visible, however, was in his relationship with his little brother, Lukas. Though there was a significant age gap between them, John loved Lukas and made time to be with him. They spent many hours playing together with Legos on the floor. And when Lukas would want to crawl in bed with John, he would allow it, because he had a soft spot for his brother.

That’s not to say that there weren’t the occasional times of conflict. I’m told that John seemed to be able to turn most anything into a sword that he could hit you with. Anthony and Aidan both could tell you that even when he was in a wheelchair, John was quick to find a way to swing something in your direction, so you’d better be on guard. But mostly, this was just a way to bring fun into every situation he was in.

John was fearless. Nothing seemed to give him pause. He wasn’t scared of teachers. He wasn’t scared when he got a ride home from the local police. He wasn’t scared to climb on top of buildings he knew he probably shouldn’t be on either. And John wasn’t afraid of cancer, his treatments, or even his own death. We talked about death a couple of weeks ago, and he told me even then that he wasn’t afraid to die, even though he wasn’t eager to die. John faced everything in his life head on—he wasn’t going to back down. That attitude was contagious, and one of the things I’ve learned is that John’s strength often gave strength to the people around him. Which is just one of the many reasons he will be missed.

LETTERS

It is hard when you stand at the graveside of someone you love. It’s even harder when that person is only 15 years old. There’s something about the death of a young man that just seems wrong. If you’re a person of faith, you may find your faith shaken by something like this. We find ourselves asking why God would allow something like this to happen. Why wouldn’t he stop it? What good could possibly come from someone like John dying at such a young age? Unfortunately, I don’t have answers for most of those questions. I wrestle with them myself.

Part of what seems so hard as we stand at the grave of someone we love is the fact that it seems so final. As we bury the body of a loved one, it feels like the goodbye we say today is permanent. And in one sense it is. We will never again see John Kryzaniak in this life. But if the Bible is to be believed (and I believe with every fiber of my being that it is), then there is another sense in which this goodbye is not permanent, because the Bible tells us that this life is not all there is.

When Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, he went to go be with Lazarus’ family, his two sisters Mary and Martha. Understandably, they were grieving over their brother’s death. But I want you to see what Jesus told them.

25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” (John 11:25-26, NLT)

Jesus told Martha that this life is not all there is. He said there is a life that exists even after we die. But notice what else Jesus said. He said that everyone who lives and believes in him will experience this life. He does not say that everyone will experience life beyond the grave, only those who believe and trust in Him. This runs contrary to what most people believe. Most people seem to assume that everyone goes to heaven when they die, but unfortunately that is not what the Bible teaches us. The Bible says that the decisions we make in this life matter beyond just this life—they determine what will happen in the life to come.

A couple of months ago, when it became clear that John’s battle with cancer was likely going to end in his death soon, we sat down and talked about this. I wanted to make sure that John understood the important points of Jesus’ message. We talked about the fact that every single one of us is sinful—we have all done things that are contrary to what God has commanded us to do. This creates a major problem for us, because that sets us up as enemies of God. Because God is good, he must punish our sin. That’s bad news for us. But there is also good news. Jesus came into the world, lived a sinless life, died, and then rose again from the grave for one specific purpose; to pay the penalty our sin has earned us and to offer us forgiveness and new life. Jesus tells us the same thing he told Martha, that if we will stop trying to rely on our own goodness, to stop believing that somehow we can be good enough, and instead look to Jesus for forgiveness and follow Him with our lives, then we can be confident of what lies beyond the grave. We can have assurance that when we die, we will spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven.

As we talked, John told me he understood everything I had said, and that it made good sense to him. When I came back to talk to him a couple weeks later, we had a similar conversation. I asked John if he remembered our conversation and he said he did. He also told me he had asked Jesus for forgiveness. While I can never know what is in a person’s heart and whether any person’s confession of faith is genuine, I am hopeful that John’s was. While I can’t know exactly where John’s heart was when he died, I can tell you one thing for sure—if he trusted in Jesus, then today he is more alive than he has ever been. He has been set free from not only the cancer that robbed him of so many things, but he has also been set free of sin, and today he is rejoicing with Jesus.

If that is true, then today we do not mourn for John, because he has lost nothing, but gained everything. But we do mourn for ourselves. We mourn for the fact that we will miss him. We will miss his laughter, we will miss his crazy ideas, we will miss the wild stories he could weave. We will miss his love and care and his selflessness toward others. That’s ok. It’s ok to miss those things. It’s also ok to remember those things, to tell stories about John, even if sometimes it makes us or others cry. Because when we tell those stories, we are able to hold on to the wonderful memories and experiences we shared with John.

But we do not have to grieve without hope today either. If there is one thing we learn from John’s death, it is that we do not know how much time we have left on this earth. There are many people who believe that they still have time to deal with the “religious stuff” later in life. But as we stand in a cemetery, we are reminded that this is not true. It’s easy to dismiss questions of faith as unimportant, theoretical nonsense, until we stand face to face with death. If I may, can I humbly remind you of something? If the Bible is true, and if John is in Heaven today, the only way we will be reunited with him is if we settle those issues of faith in our own lives. We must decide whether we will acknowledge our sin, turn to Jesus, ask for His forgiveness, and follow Him or not. This is a question of supreme importance—and I challenge you not to put it off, because you don’t know when your life on this earth will come to an end.

John was a remarkable young man, and his life will continue to impact others for years and years to come. As we remember John’s life, I think there are a few lessons we can learn from him.

• Not everything in life has to be serious—take time to laugh and have fun and enjoy the people around you.

• Don’t allow fear to keep you from experiencing things you might enjoy. Sometimes the greatest experiences come from facing some of our greatest fears.

• Friends and family are gifts to be treasured. Make time to be with those you love, make memories together, and tend to those relationships so they can be as strong as possible.

• Simple acts of kindness can have a profound impact on others. Find ways to show the people in your life that they matter to you—you never know how a simple act may make a lasting impression on someone.

• And finally, faith in Christ is of utmost importance, so follow Him and trust Him today, because life is short, and sometimes it’s even shorter than we imagined.

Will you pray with me?

Our heavenly father, today we come to you with heavy hearts. It is hard to say goodbye to someone we love. But Lord, I pray that you would comfort John’s friends and family with the truth that this life is not all there is. There is still a life that is to come. In the days, weeks, months, and years ahead, give them your strength. Help them to not only grieve John’s death, but also to remember and celebrate his life. Remind them of the many memories they had together, and help them to learn many of the lessons John can teach us all. Grant us strength, peace, and comfort as we try to figure out how to move forward. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.