Getting Rid of Relational Baggage
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Intro -
We are in week three of Baggage. We are all headed somewhere, but many are not enjoying the journey because of all the baggage we carry around. Bags become heavy and ruin the trip for us.
Too often we just learn to cope instead of putting down the bags.
Today, we will deal with relational wounds…
Who has had a broken bone? How many of you have had more than 30 stitches? Knife wounds? Gunshot wounds? wounded in military service or LE?
Everyone who has experienced a physical wound knows that they often leave a scar.
Today, let me tell you. When you receive a wound of the heart, it also leaves a scar. divorce… child of divorce… lost job… broken relationships…
Almost everyone gets these wounds… some would of the heart.
Very few actually deal with it. People think that time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t. Leave it alone it will go away. If you tried that, you KNOW it doesn’t work.
Today we are going to look at relational wounds. The bible story we are going to look at is a very unknown story. It’s about a man who had a very famous son.
27 This is the account of Terah’s family. Terah was the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran was the father of Lot. 28 But Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, the land of his birth, while his father, Terah, was still living.
It’s bad enough for a son to bury their father, but it’s not designed for parents to bury their children. So, Terah was hurting.
31 One day Terah took his son Abram, his daughter-in-law Sarai (his son Abram’s wife), and his grandson Lot (his son Haran’s child) and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there. 32 Terah lived for 205 years and died while still in Haran.
You can safely imply that Terah left because something happened. They left Ur and was going to Canaan but they stopped in Haran. This forced him to face his son’s death and he stopped. Terah never got to go to the promised Canaan because he never got over the relational wound of losing his son.
Some of you let that divorce define you… the loss of a child define you… the death of a spouse define you… the way your dad treated you defines you… the way you were treated in school…
We had a bully when I was in middle school… we were always scared of him and tried to not go on the street if we saw him out and about.
Maybe you had to act a certain way to be accepted by a group when you were in school…
Whenever you have a relational wound…
Relational baggage keeps us from our potential
Relational baggage keeps us from our potential
Whenever we get wounded, we get stupid. People will make decisions that they will regret when they are hurt… because the pain makes us crazy.
21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. 22 I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Pain will make you speak and act crazy.
When the enemy is attacking you and the relationship, it’s not about the relationship. The devil is using that to stop something bigger and better.
Relational baggage pollutes the rest of our relationships
Relational baggage pollutes the rest of our relationships
Wounded people are difficult to be around because they can’t have a healthy relationship and they pollute the rest of their relationships.
Many people are afraid to show love…
15 Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.
Bitterness will hurt the people around us.
It makes us defensive
It makes us defensive
We build a wall around us and it keeps us from being hurt again… we think.
It makes us distant
It makes us distant
We withdraw from a discussion. You don’t like something being said, and you just go… this conversations if over… or you will change the topic…
It makes us demanding
It makes us demanding
Have you have seen someone that is dominating and controlling everything… they are really insecure.
This is happening with Terah. Abraham actually had to leave his dad where he was stuck and move on.
Relational baggage destroys our relationship with God
Relational baggage destroys our relationship with God
Our relationships with people are inseparable from our relationships with God. Horizontal determines the vertical relationships.
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
First -
God knows you are unable to receive what he wants to do in your life if you don’t make your horizontal relationships right.
Even the greatest commandment — Love God and love people…
It even shows up in the Lord’s prayer. This is a dangerous prayer…
12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
If this is true and it is, relational baggage doesn’t just impact your marriage, it impacts your relationship with God.
if we don’t settle this, the rest of everything won’t work too well.
I have seen people that are willing to forfeit everything God has for them because they want to hold onto that unforgiveness.
Good news - God specializes in healing broken heart.
Putting Down the Bags
Putting Down the Bags
3 He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
He does this in the process we have been learning in the series.
3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
The word for these things that attach themselves to us is a stronghold. we have to capture every thought. If you have someone that just won’t let it go, ask them if their way is working.
So what can we do about these wounds we have?
1. Reveal the hurt.
1. Reveal the hurt.
As long as you deny it or hide it, you will not get free of it. You want to handle it on your own… that doesn’t work.
3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
IOW, as long as you hold it in, this is what is going to happen.
2 But as I stood there in silence— not even speaking of good things— the turmoil within me grew worse.
If you don’t let it out, the turmoil will grow worse. let it out… let someone know what you are going throuth.
2. Release the people involved
2. Release the people involved
You will continue to carry the weight of the bags until you let go of the people… until you forgive them. You are not letting them off, you are giving it to God. You might wonder how many times you have to forgive someone…
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
77 - just keep on.
Bottom line - God is unable to do that work in your heart of you will not extend it to others. If you will receive what God did for you he will give you the capacity to extend it to others.
23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.
God will take care of it… just give it to him.
If the whole idea is to mess up our purpose, it makes sense to
3. Refocus on God’s plan for my life.
3. Refocus on God’s plan for my life.
Look at what Joseph said…
19 But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
Conclusion
Here is what I want you to do today.
13 Put your heart right, Job. Reach out to God. 14 Put away evil and wrong from your home. 15 Then face the world again, firm and courageous. 16 Then all your troubles will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more.
Bow heads… God I am praying this for everyone in this room today.
Is your heart right with God? Let God change your life today…
Prayer