Exploring Relational Wisdom - Lesson 6

Exploring Relational Wisdom - Personal Study Notes - Lesson 6: Follow a Trustworthy GPS

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How Reliable Is Your Value System?

Reflect and Apply 6a

1. Describe one or two insights you gained from this teaching.

2. Describe one of the most challenging situations in your life. How well did your value system guide you through that challenging time? As you look back years later, what are you glad that you did in that situation? What do you wish you had done differently?

3. What values guide you when you’re facing a significant conflict? Do those values typically lead you quickly to sincere reconciliation? What values do you wish you followed in those situations but often struggle to live up to?

4. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote: “If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values, remembering that all reality hinges on moral foundations.” What values have you aspired to in the past that would enable you to go forward more successfully in your personal and work relationships?

5. Bonus question submitted by Corlette (Ken’s wife): Speaking of GPS’s, why do so many men have such a hard time asking for directions?

Grade Your Values

Reflect and Apply 6b

1. Describe one or two insights about relationships you gained from this teaching.

2. Review the chart of world views at www.rw360values.org/6worldviews.

a. Which worldview have you embraced? Has that worldview and its related value system strengthened or weakened your personal and workplace relationships?

b. As you look at history and the lives of the people around you, which of the six worldviews and value systems do you think has been most conducive to stable and productive relationships?

c. Would it be wise for you to trade in your existing worldview and its values and begin the process of reprograming your relational navigation system with a more reliable set of values?

3. Reflect on your life and identify the times when you were most happy, successful, fulfilled and satisfied. Referring to the values chart in Lesson 6 of your study guide, make a list of the values that you were you following at those times.

4. To sharpen your focus further, identify the times in your life when you felt least happy, successful, fulfilled or satisfied. What values were you following or failing to follow at those times?

5. Identify specific times and situations when you were in conflict or felt unusual stress. What values were you following or failing to follow at those times?

6. Expose inconsistencies in your value system by identifying values you say you believe in but have often compromised or failed to follow.

7. Finally, look at your value system through the future. Image you are looking back on your life five years from now. What values would you be glad you had followed? What values would you regret having followed?

8. Based on your reflections above, list the top ten values you’d like to follow more faithfully in the coming year.

Pursue Worthy Values And Serve Others

Reflect and Apply 6c

1. Describe one or two insights about relationships you gained from this teaching.

2. List the ten values that have significantly benefited your immediate or extended family.

3. Think about your heroes. Identify five people whom you’ve read or heard about whose lives have greatly benefited others. By each person’s name, list the values that seemed to guide their lives and that you’d now like to graft into your life.

4. List five people you know and admire and would like to imitate as role models. Beside each name, list the values that seem to guide their lives. What are some specific ways that you could live out these values more consistently in your life? (A great way to start is to spend as much time as you can with people you admire so you can learn from their example.)

5. If you are working for someone, ask for a copy of your employer’s statement of core values. Beside each value, write down two or three ways that you could live out this value more effectively in your work. If your employer does not have such a statement, use one of the statements provided at www.rw360values.org/core-values.

6. When you’re having difficulty prioritizing competing values, why would focusing on serving others usually be the wisest and most productive long term course?

RW in Action: Ed Thomas

Reflect and Apply 6d

1. Describe one or two insights you gained from this video.

2. What aspects of Ed Thomas’ faith and character provided inspiration and guidance to his family and community as they sought to navigate two life-shaking crises?

3. How did Ed Thomas’ faith and example impact the Becker family and his community long after Ed died?

4. What elements of Ed Thomas’ worldview and value system would you like to imitate in your life? How might that improve your relationships?

5. Would you like to learn more about the worldview that guided the Thomas family’s response to the tornado and their father’s murder? If so, click here.

Digging Deeper

The following blog posts illustrate different ways to apply relational wisdom in daily life. We encourage you to read the posts that seem most relevant to your life at this time. If you are taking this course for credit or certification, you need to read at least half of these posts and answer the associated questions.

Lawyer vs Teacher (How GPS help Ken and Corlette nip a conflict in the bud)

1. What is your reflex reaction when someone challenges, criticizes or blames you? Is it to live out the values you aspire to follow? If not, what is your instinctive goal?

2. How do these types of conversations go when you give into your reflex reactions?

3. Can you think of a time when you (or someone you know) changed the course of a difficult conversation by consciously seeking to values like humility, love, gentleness, patience and forgiveness?

4. Is there a situation in your life right now where you could apply this concept? How do you think it might change the course of that situation?

Three Values that Improve Every Relationship (Three key values for better friendships, stronger marriage, and improved career advancement)

1. How do the values of humility, teachability and flexibility mutually reinforce and support one another?

2. How do these three values contribute to better friendships?

3. Why are these three values essential to a fulfilling and durable marriage?

4. How do these three values contribute to better job performance and career advancement?

5. Are these three values part of your personal value system? If not, what steps could you take today to build these values into your life?

Giving a Kidney Models RW (Would your value system move you to donate a kidney to someone who had been repeatedly unkind to you?)

1. What do you find to be most surprising or inspiring about this story?

2. Give two or three examples of the blessings that occur when people live up to their values.

3. Give two or three examples of the problems that occur when people fail to live up to their values.

4. If you were in Tom’s positions, would your value system have inspired you to do what he did?

5. Even if you don’t feel called to give up a kidney, is there some other sacrifice you could make for another person that might improve his or her life? Are you willing to make it?

Hidden Figures (How relational wisdom helped to defeat racism and put a man into space)

1. What false or deficient values have contributed to ongoing racial prejudice in our country? What impact have those values had on our relationships and communities?

2. Where are you prone to pride, prejudice or insensitivity toward others? How does it affect your behavior and relationships?

3. What values did these women and others like them live out day-to-day in order to avoid inflaming conflict, to overcome prejudice and move their communities in a healthy direction?

4. What values do you see in their lives that you would like to live out more faithfully in your life? How might that affect your relationships and benefit your company or community?

An Alternative Guidance System

If you would like to learn how a faith-based worldview can impact an individual's "relational guidance system" and the application of the GPS acrostic, you can view the teaching for lesson 6 in our faith-based course, Discovering Relational Wisdom 3.0, by going to this page.