Love Like That: Being Approachable

Today we are going to continue our series Love Like That looking at how we can learn how to love more like Jesus. Last week we talked about the idea of being mindful and how we are more observant about what is going on around us while learning to not be so focused on our own agendas and priorities, which can selfishly get in the way of noticing people around us. When we are mindful, we tend to notice situations where we can help people, pray with them, or maybe just encourage them. Ultimately, we saw in the story of Zacchaeus that Jesus paid quite a bit of attention to those on the fringes and was mindful to their needs.

We are going to spend today talking about what we can learn about relationships and loving others from the example of Jesus and how he was approachable. First, I want to remind us of our theme passage for this series, Ephesians 5:1-2 from The Message paraphrase of this passage. “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.”

Loving like Jesus is possible, but only through the help of the Spirit in our lives as we are continually transformed and growing in our relationship with Christ.

As I mentioned a moment ago, we are going to talk today about this idea of being approachable and look at how Jesus was approachable during his earthly ministry.

When I think about this idea of being approachable, I think of my Dad. Dad was an agriculture teacher in the same school district for over 30 years. He had many families where the parents were his students and their children were his students. Every time I was at a function in that town, I would hear stories about how love my Dad was and how he was there for people at times when they just needed to talk. Dad probably didn’t realize it, but he was being approachable - people knew they could talk to him about anything and that he truly cared.

Let’s look at the definition of approachable. This is the definition I found, which I think sums it up pretty well: “friendly and easy to talk to.”

A lot of people have secret dreams. Now I’m not talking about the big dreams of significance, of daring, of hope, of making a difference. Of course, those are huge, and they help chart out direction and purpose. But do you have a secret dream? Maybe to meet some famous movie star or athlete, maybe a Packers player? We’ve probably all at one time or another had someone that we would have liked to meet. You see, these types of people are not always very approachable. Often they have people who keep common folk like you and me away. Not so with Jesus. In fact, you and I are the very ones Jesus looked for and surrounded Himself with. This morning we’re looking at just how approachable Jesus was.

There are five things for us to consider this morning as we look at this idea of being approachable. The first is:

Being approachable is a lost skill.

Being approachable is not something that is really a skill, but a decision. It is a decision that says, you are welcome, you have access, you are invited to be with me. I have found that Matthew 11:28-29 is a great passage and sets the stage for what we want to learn about Jesus being approachable. (EMPHASIZE ALL)

Matthew 11:28–29 NIV

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Jesus paid attention to people that most kicked to the side and forgot about in his day. It was people such as the leper, the tax-collector, the sinner, the hurting, the disenfranchised that got Jesus’ special attention. Last week we talked about one example in Zacchaeus. If you remember, the religious leaders of the day had rules about the types of people they should associate with. Jesus frustrated them because he did the exact opposite by paying attention to these people. Everyone could approach him...rich or poor, schooled or unschooled, healthy or sick.

Second:

Being approachable means loving the rejected.

Let’s take a look at another tax collector (note that Jesus interacted with more than one) and see what he does:

Matthew 9:9–13 NIV

9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. 10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

We talked last week about how tax collectors were hated and were able to exhort people all they wanted as long as Rome got their taxes. These were people who were the lowest of the low and certainly the most hated.

Imagine being Matthew and having Jesus come up to you and say “Follow me.” I can’t imagine what might have been going through his mind, but he said yes. I would probably have been questioning what Jesus saw in me, and why on earth he was talking to me!

Jesus faced ridicule from the religious people of that day, particularly the “leaders”. But being approachable sometimes means facing the rejection of others for the sake of reaching the rejected of man.

Consider the little children, often left out of the day to day adult world.

Mark 10:13–16 NIV

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

This is remarkable since the disciples had already been told to receive children in His name. The word for “rebuke” is quite strong. It refers to “sharply punishing.” The disciples didn’t want Jesus to be bothered by kids, but Jesus was more bothered by the disciples!

Not only does this signify that children were at ease in the presence of Christ, but that parents were comfortable handing their infants to this man to hold and bless! If you are a parent, you understand the implications of these verses. If not, then know: it’s a big deal to give someone your kid. Jesus lived in such a way that not only did children trust Him, but parents trusted Him with their children.

Third:

BEING APPROACHABLE IS RISKY TO YOUR REPUTATION.

Consider how Jesus treated the “sinful woman.” (SUMMARIZE)

Luke 7:36–50 NIV

36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” 40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. 41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. 44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” 50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Jesus was very approachable, to all classes of people. We don’t know who the woman was in this story, but we do know she treated Jesus with respect. She anointed Jesus with expensive oil and her tears of gratefulness. The Pharisees believed that if they touched the clothing of the common people, they were corrupted. For that reason, when they walked the streets, they walked on the sides, so that they wouldn’t be tarnished by the touch of the ordinary people. They assumed that Christ should have had the same dislike for this woman that they had, and that He should snub her. He did not.

EVERYONE had access to Jesus.

Fourth:

WHAT KEEPS US FROM BEING APPROACHABLE?

The biggie is PRIDE.

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was the king of the jungle. He was so confident that he by-passed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear. "Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked. The bear replied, "Why you are, of course." The lion gave a mighty roar of approval. Next, he asked the tiger, “Who is the king of the jungle?" The tiger quickly responded, "Everyone knows that you are, mighty lion." Next on the list was the elephant. The lion faced the elephant and addressed his question, "Who is the king of the jungle?” The elephant immediately grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him around in the air five or six times, and slammed him into a tree. Then he pounded him on the ground several times, dunked him under water in a nearby lake, and finally dumped him out on the shore. The lion— beaten, bruised, and battered—struggled to his feet. He looked at the elephant through sad and bloody eyes and said, "Look, just because you don’t know the answer is no reason for you to get mean about it!" We see a different way in:

1 Peter 5:5–6 NIV

5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

The definition of pride is to exalt or boast in one’s self. But it is more complicated than that. This is a clear example of pride for sure. But pride is not always clear. Sometimes it masks itself in other ways. It causes you to think more of yourself than reality justifies.

So here is this wonderfully righteous guy. He keeps the law. He does what he is supposed to do. Yet his heart isn’t as right as his actions seem to be. There is so much pride in this man’s heart that his prayers to God are an insulting to the very people that God loves. This man thinks he is so good because he kept all the rules. He thinks he is so righteous that he misses out on what prayer is and he misses a chance to connect with God because he thinks too highly of himself.

Look at how the tax collector prays. His prayer is simple. It is genuine and real. This tax collector, for everything he is not, is a much better man than this religious leader whose pride has made his right actions meaningless. Pride comes when we exalt ourselves, and those who exalt themselves will be humbled.

There is no easy way to learn the lesson of humility. There is no gentle teaching to show us how to do it. It seems the only way that we are capable of learning to be humble is by suffering the terrible consequences of our pride. We get upset, frustrated, and hurt by things that happen to us while blaming everyone else for our problems.

Breaking down pride means you may have to undergo a series of frustrating or humiliating events so that you may learn humility. If you blame others for your problems, then you’re not fixing the underlying issue that causes those problems. Pride is the love of oneself. It comes when we believe in our own ability to the degree that we fail to recognize the grace of God. All sins root themselves in pride.

C.S Lewis says that compared to pride all other sins (greed, drunkenness and the like) are mere flea-bites. He says that every vice comes from pride, and that pride is that anti-God state of mind.

Fifth:

WHAT JESUS TAUGHT US ABOUT BEING APPROACHABLE

The Prodigal Son (summarize)

Luke 15:11–32 NIV

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ 31 “ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

Do you notice there is no evidence of a hard attitude on the part of the father toward the prodigal son? The father’s love was unconditional and full of compassion. Had he not been approachable, he might have demanded some type of penance from the son and would probably have given him a lecture about righteous living. Worse yet, he might have even discouraged the son from coming home at all. In fact, in that day he probably wouldn’t have been welcomed back, but rejected by the community. Demanding your inheratence while your father was alive was a major insult.

But the father never made any such threats. Instead, he waited and watched patiently with great hope that his son would someday come home. Then, one day, when he saw in the distance that the son was actually coming, he ran to hug him. There were no lectures or demands for penance. There was no judgmental attitude. Instead, the father was thrilled beyond measure. In fact, he was so thrilled that he wrapped him in an expensive robe and put an expensive ring on his finger. Then he killed the fatted calf which he had been saving for a special occasion and prepared a huge feast featuring music and joyful dancing to celebrate the son’s return.

The patient and compassionate attitude displayed by the father toward the sinful lifestyle of the prodigal son seems very different from the attitude displayed by many today toward people. The father did not condemn his son, but rather took a compassionate and loving attitude toward him. He never gave up hope that one day the son would return.

As we wrap up this morning, I have two challenges for you:

1. Do something outrageous.

Remember that Ephesians 5:2 describes Jesus’ love for us as extravagant, not cautious. So, if we’re to ever love like Jesus, we have to push pride to the side and humble our hearts. That’s a given. But Jesus takes it a step further. He says that if we are to be truly approachable, we must do something outrageous. He says we must love our enemies. He says it flat out:

Matthew 5:44 NIV

44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

so this week, find someone who you consider an enemy or someone you really do not like and pray for them, approach them and have a conversation, maybe try to get to know them.

2. What do you want people to do for you - then you do it for them.

When we love like Jesus, feelings of superiority fade, and our days are punctuated with spontaneous breathings of compassion, generosity of spirit, and kindness. We become accessible to anyone who feels left out or unwanted. When we love like Jesus, we love without exclusion - we even love our enemies.