How to Rebuild the Right Boundaries, the Right Way

Philippians 1:6 NLT

6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

But what do I do when the GOOD work doesn’t feel GOOD at all...

Introduction: Starbucks Saved his Life

Micheal Gill Fired from his 6 Figure Salary Job — Lost his whole life — Divorced — Diagnosed with a Brain tumor

Walked into his usual Starbucks and someone asked, “Would you like a job?”

Sometimes we find out the foundation we built our life on was sand and not the solid rock.

God allows things to be swept away so that we can rebuild (rebuilding a weakened faith, marriage, family, etc)

The Good Work of God doesn’t always FEEL Good but it will always BE Good.

This isn’t to minimize our pain but it teaches us to depend on Him and even see a bigger purpose

We see this in Nehemiah — —

He allowed the people to go into exile — God allowed the WALLS to be destroyed

WHY? So he could correct them back to His heart — In fact he was doing this to give them a NEW heart

Drawing — Land/Temple/Walls

The Bible makes an interesting claim that we are: Spirit, Soul and Body...

Hebrews 4:12 ESV

12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Luke 1:46–47 NLT

46 Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!

1 Thessalonians 5:23 NLT

23 Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.

The Bible distinguishes between man’s spirit and Soul— it DISCERNS them

One of the most frustrating experiences we can have is to possess a faith that doesn’t touch every single part of our being

Jack Hayford — Rebuilding the Real You

The restorative plan that we see in the book of Nehemiah is actually a blueprint for how God desires to restore us to fullness in Him

Drawing — Body/Spirit/Soul

Nehemiah isn’t just building a WALL he is restoring the SOUL of a nation...

One of the most valuable faith experiences we can have is when God allows things to BREAK in our lives so that He can BUILD something better.

Then we get ask, “So how do we Rebuild the Right Stuff, the Right Way?”

1. Be real about what’s broken

Nehemiah 2:13 ESV

13 I went out by night by the Valley Gate to the Dragon Spring and to the Dung Gate, and I inspected the walls of Jerusalem that were broken down and its gates that had been destroyed by fire.

Walls and Gates constituted the basic defense system of a city. The effectiveness of a city’s walls and gates determined the level of attack or siege a city could withstand. — what would it do to the ‘psyche’ of the people to see their walls still torn down?

What’s the significance of a Wall

Walls needed to be fortified (strengthened, repaired)

The principles of siege warfare go back to at least 900 BC)-

When approaching warfare on a city an enemy could:

Full on Frontal Assault with a Battering Ram — Jerusalem had originally had hollow walls filled with soft filling to absorb the thrust of a battering ram. It sat high on a hill making it easy to defend.

"undermine" the wall of a city, mine under it, in order to weaken the wall. (this was usually done at the corner of the wall, which is why corners were fitted with defensive towers)

The weight of the wall would cause it to buckle and cause a breach or a weakness in the wall in order to methodically seize the city. Or they would attack the walls or gates with a battering ram or set fire to the gates.

ILLUSTRATION: Our Challenge:

For many of us our walls are broken and we don’t want to admit it

The Walls of Jesus-Centered Living have eroded over time by competing truths and comforts

The Walls of our marriages have been worn by time or neglect(pursuit now just seems exhausting)

The Walls of our parenting have been worn by simply our kids being kids — COVID has changed our normal rhythm

The Walls of my faith were built on MY ABILITIES and not God’s —

or maybe on PAST experiences and not PRESENT encounter

But we don’t want to rush in with a quick fix to our walls we want to.....

2. Be willing to use the right materials

Nehemiah 2:7–8 NLT

7 I also said to the king, “If it please the king, let me have letters addressed to the governors of the province west of the Euphrates River, instructing them to let me travel safely through their territories on my way to Judah. 8 And please give me a letter addressed to Asaph, the manager of the king’s forest, instructing him to give me timber. I will need it to make beams for the gates of the Temple fortress, for the city walls, and for a house for myself.” And the king granted these requests, because the gracious hand of God was on me.

Nehemiah needed protection, authority and wood!

While some stones may have been damaged, the vast majority of the stones needed to build the wall were already there

ILLUSTRATION: Our Challenge: Rebuilding the Right Walls the Right Way

We often rebuild a broken wall in our life with the wrong material

We often rebuild our walls in response to the pain that destroyed them. We place stones of mistrust, rejection, fear or bitterness thinking that this will ensure love, trust and security. Unfortunately, it does the opposite. The walls that we have built to protect us from pain now become the barriers to the intimacy and connection that we desire with God and others.

Our walls are rebuilt with bricks of pain, distance, survival, self-dependence — instead of Faith, Hope, Love or Trust

They will end up trapping the bad things in that need to get out or even stop Good things from coming in to heal

That’s what Gates help us do....

3. Be aware of what I’m allowing in and out of my life

Nehemiah 2:14–15 NLT

14 Then I went to the Fountain Gate and to the King’s Pool, but my donkey couldn’t get through the rubble. 15 So, though it was still dark, I went up the Kidron Valley instead, inspecting the wall before I turned back and entered again at the Valley Gate.

Nehemiah goes to the Valley gate, Dung Gate, Fountain Gate,

What’s the significance of a Gate

The gate was the center piece of the system and the hub of civic and commercial activity (Satellite City Hall)

The chambers were lined with benches for guard or officials or elders who are said to administer justice in the gate" (Deut 21:19, Josh 20:4, Ruth 4).

In wartime the successive six chambers of the gate (three on each side of the entrance way path were filled with warriors who outnumbered incoming fighters 10 to one as they entered the city.

“Walls with no gates, keep us locked in with no sense of trust, love and security. Without gates we won’t be able to judge properly or discern well.” ~Pastor Calvin Kochi

ILLUSTRATION: Building Gates to keep the good stuff in and that bad stuff out (Draw the Gates)

1. Eyes: What am I seeing that is building or eroding healthy walls (boundaries)

2. Ears: What am I listening to that is building or eroding healthy walls and Gates

Allowing the news and Fear to erode Healthy Walls and Gates of Trust in God and His purposes

Allowing vitriol, disrespect and anger erode Healthy Walls of Conversation and Disagreement

Allowing trends and shifts in culture to erode Healthy Walls and Gates of Identity

Allowing pornography to erode Healthy Walls and Gates of Intimacy

Conclusion: The Good Work doesn’t always feel good but it will always be good

Transition into Communion:

The good work of Christ on that Cross didn’t feel good at all but

by his broken body and by his Shed blood he gave us a gift we couldn’t earn

Our bodies can be healed because by His stripes and pain we are healed (Isaiah)

Our Spirit regenerated because when we receive Him as Lord and Savior we are Born again

Our Soul is restored so that we move from Glory to Glory looking more like Him every day

Pray a prayer for Salvation

Click ‘I said Yes!’ in the Chat or Text ‘faith’ to 808-670-9083

Take Communion

Small Group Questions:

What is one thing that stood out to you from this weeks message?

When you think of the ‘Good Work’ that God has done in your life so far, is there an experience that you’ve had where that work didn’t feel good but you knew that it was good for you? (ex. I knew that this was helping me to build patience or trust but it was really tough)

What is one restored/rebuilt area of your life that you can celebrate today?

Are there worn down or broken walls/gates in your life that God needs to strengthen or rebuild?

When it comes to the gates or boundaries of my life:

1. Eyes: What am I seeing that is building or eroding healthy walls (boundaries)?

2. Ears: What am I listening to that is building or eroding healthy walls and Gates?

Hosting Information: for church.online

Thank you for helping to creating an engaging experience in the chat. Please be praying and interceding for those attending our online service.

If any prayers get to a place of crisis (abusive situation, suicide, etc) please know you can reach out to the pastoral staff:

Pastor Calvin: [phone]

Pastor Marsha: [phone]

Pastor Carl: [phone]

Mahalo,

Pastor Pat

Other Thoughts: Not used

When God restores us to a right relationship with Him, He does so by restoring COMMUNION with him and empowers us to CARE

The restorative plan of God isn’t just to save you from the fires of hell it’s to light the white hot fire of abundant life in Christ on earth as it is in heaven.

The Problem:

What happens when the good work that I am trusting God for is taking a long time?

What happens when my experience of being ‘saved’ isn’t matching my expectations of the results of that experience

The Answer:

What God can do in a moment of time still must be stewarded over time

When we are saved in that moment we are ‘justified’ .... AND THEN we steward the process of every moment after that ‘sanctified’

WHY? Because when we depend on God in our process we actually draw nearer to Him in our breakthrough