Modesty
Notes
Transcript
Lust requires an object
Lust requires an object
Review last week’s message on lust. Matthew 5:27-30
Lust is a heart issue. The actions of adultery, fornication, and viewing pornography are all evidence of lust that was already in the heart.
Lust requires an object.
Does anyone here desire to be the object of lust? Forget the romance novels and Hollywood’s depiction of love and romance. He is not Prince Charming if he is not willing to abide by God’s principles and boundaries. Those are fantasies and not reality. If it is lust that is driving you are an object and no one desires to be just an object to be used.
Important- the object of lust is not always at fault!
Important- the object of lust is not always at fault!
This is not to cast blame on anyone. I invite you to examine your heart and actions though to see if you may play a part. While this message may apply more to the sisters, it certainly not excuse the brothers. Today’s society where we find ourselves in is one that has feminized males and has not only permitted homosexuality but has embraced it.
Not only that, I am becoming more and more aware of a trend within boys to present themselves in ways that will subtly or not so subtly attract the wrong kind of attention.
This is not a message to throw the burden of overcoming lust on the sisters. NO! Brothers, we as Christian men should be able to protect any woman or girl without objectifying her regardless of how much is showing. This is not to be permissible in where you go, what you look at in regards to media, and with whom you associate.
Woe to the stumbling blocks
Woe to the stumbling blocks
7 “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! 8 “If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire. 9 “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell. 10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven. 11 “For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.
1 He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! 2 “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble. 3 “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
42 “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea. 43 “If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life crippled, than, having your two hands, to go into hell, into the unquenchable fire, 44 where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. 45 “If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame, than, having your two feet, to be cast into hell, 46 where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. 47 “If your eye causes you to stumble, throw it out; it is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, than, having two eyes, to be cast into hell, 48 where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.
9 But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone sees you, who have knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, will not his conscience, if he is weak, be strengthened to eat things sacrificed to idols? 11 For through your knowledge he who is weak is ruined, the brother for whose sake Christ died. 12 And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.
Jesus uses very similar language as that He used in Matthew 5 when teaching of adultery.
Do whatever it takes to not be a stumbling block! This may even mean abstaining from things that are not necessarily wrong in of themselves. Be very careful with terms like the following, “Well I don’t see anything wrong with it.” Individualism says that it will do whatever it thinks is right in its own eyes.
This can apply to many areas of our lives. Sin affects not only ourselves but others around us. Woe to the person whose sin causes another to stumble.
Modesty is probably on of the greatest areas where we can either bless and protect others or we can be a tremendous stumbling block.
What is modesty?
What is modesty?
1 : the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities. She accepted the award with modesty.
2 : propriety in dress, speech, or conduct The young man was known for his modesty.
Synonyms are: humbleness, lowliness, and meekness
“Modesty.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/modesty. Accessed 26 Sep. 2020.
Modesty is very similar to humility. Where can you find humility with a person? On them or in them?
Both. Modesty is really simply evidence of humility in the heart.
What you wear and how you present yourself simply reflects your heart. Who you are is reflected by how you present yourself. Everything about you is what you want to project to others. How you want other people to see you or perceive you. How you act, what you wear, how you comb your hair, what you drive, etc...
Modesty is simply presenting yourself in a way that does not draw attention to yourself. It is not loud, obnoxious, alluring in a wrong way, distracting, promiscuous, tempting. Basically it is not a stumbling block. It is what Peter describes as a “meek and quiet spirit.”
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
This is a passage where it really makes a difference of how you read and and understand the Bible. Do I take what is literally says? Should I infer certain principles? Or, should I add a word to make it fit what I want it to say? NASB and NKJV both add the word “merely”. That word is not there.
Is it permissible to just let the hair hang as long as it is not braided? May I wear silver jewelry? What about brass? Wood? Rubber? Plastic?
May I wear these as long as I wear them with a meek and quiet spirit? May I adorn myself with stylish clothing, fadish hairstyles, and fancy extras as long as I have a meek and quiet spirit?
How do you read your Bible? Law would write it down. No braids, no gold, and no outward fine clothing. Maybe the outward fine clothing could be legislated by how much it costs.
But can a meek and quiet spirit be legislated? Can we make a law here in our church that everyone must exhibit a meek and quiet spirit? No, it is a matter of the heart. No amount of rules can change your heart.
I found a fascinating story of not so long ago.
Paris women finally allowed to wear trousers
Paris women finally allowed to wear trousers
4 February 2013
The French government has overturned a 200-year-old ban on women wearing trousers.
The Minister of Women's Rights, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem, said that the ban was incompatible with modern French values and laws.
She said the law, imposed on November 17, 1800, had in effect already been rescinded because of incompatibility.
The move to formally repeal the law followed a parliamentary question asked last year.
According to the law, women needed to have the permission of local police if they wanted to "dress like a man" and wear trousers.
Though it has been ignored for decades, formally it remained on the statute books.
Ms Vallaud-Belkacem said the original law had been intended to prevent women doing certain jobs.
"This order was aimed first of all at limiting the access of women to certain offices or occupations by preventing them from dressing in the manner of men," she said.
It was modified in 1892 and 1909 to allow women to wear trousers if they were "holding a bicycle handlebar or the reins of a horse".
During the French Revolution, Parisian women had requested the right to wear trousers and working-class revolutionaries became known as "sans-culottes" for wearing trousers instead of the silk-knee breeches preferred by the bourgeoisie.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21329269
“It has been ignored for decades. The law did not prevent any of the feminist movement or change any heart. I don’t know for certain but I would suspect that Paris leads much of the world in the gender confusion that exists today.
But having said all that the Church does have the responsibility and authority to make biblical applications. Every church does in some way or another. Whether written or spoken or just understood.
How do we apply Scripture collectively but not have it become a legalistic set of rules to just check off?
The Mennonite church is long in the process of shrugging off the standards that once clearly used to identify it. The results are sobering.
Ideas have consequences. When we open our Bibles and ask “hath God said” instead of “what does God say?” we are treading on very slippery places. When we allow the word “merely” to be inserted and trust some commentator to educate us as to what the Bible really says we are opening ourselves to costly error. Not that I am all against these translations or commentators.
But what about 1 Peter 3:3? “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.” The part translated “concerned” comes from the Greek word kosmos. Recognize it? We use that same word, spelled cosmos, and it means the whole order or the world. So basically, your world shouldn’t revolve around your appearance. Don’t get obsessed. Go ahead and present yourself as the beautiful woman you are, but spend more time with God than your makeup kit.
https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/5-things-women-get-wrong-about-modesty.html
Is that what Peter is suggesting? Just make sure you spend more time with God than with your make-up kit?
How shall we read these verses?
8 Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension. 9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
What is proper and modest? Is it that hard to figure out?
Is this basically saying that we should spend more time doing good works than braiding our hair and putting on expensive clothes?
Do you see how easy it is to turn away from the truth of Scripture for our own understanding?
What do you think both Paul and Peter were suggesting? (Suggesting is not the right word)
Proper clothing is modest and discreet.
Fancy hair and costly clothing and jewelry are not the attire of a Christian.
This is not to be a law. Note that with each negative there is a positive.
meek and quiet, good works.
Practical Applications
Practical Applications
16 Moreover, the Lord said, “Because the daughters of Zion are proud And walk with heads held high and seductive eyes, And go along with mincing steps And tinkle the bangles on their feet, 17 Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs, And the Lord will make their foreheads bare.” 18 In that day the Lord will take away the beauty of their anklets, headbands, crescent ornaments, 19 dangling earrings, bracelets, veils, 20 headdresses, ankle chains, sashes, perfume boxes, amulets, 21 finger rings, nose rings, 22 festal robes, outer tunics, cloaks, money purses, 23 hand mirrors, undergarments, turbans and veils. 24 Now it will come about that instead of sweet perfume there will be putrefaction; Instead of a belt, a rope; Instead of well-set hair, a plucked-out scalp; Instead of fine clothes, a donning of sackcloth; And branding instead of beauty.
Attitude and Mannerisms
Attitude and Mannerisms
Notice that Isaiah does not even mention seductive dress. He describes quite a few articles of clothing. Yet they are described as immodest. Why?
Their attitude displayed itself in how they looked and walked.
Modesty is more than clothing or lack thereof. Girls that are loud and assertive are not modest. Body language can overcome even the most modest dress. Your body language speaks-what is it saying?
Is is speaking -Here I am, look at me. Do you see how much fun I am? I am available for some sport. Body language can be very subtle but ask any guy and he can tell when a girl is loose.
It is the same with the guys although the body language is usually different. Mr. Cool. I am available for some fun. I will give you that attention.
Girls beware- a pervert thinks he can charm any girl into a relationship. He has played all the scenarios over in his mind a thousand times as to how he can easily win your love.
Examine your heart. Think about how you present yourself especially to the opposite sex. Am I being a stumblingblock?
Body language and attitude make up a very large portion of modesty.
Hair
Hair
Your hair speaks volumes about you.
The Bible speaks of hair in the verses we read and in 1 Corinthians 11.
Simply put - men are to cut their hair and women are not to cut their hair.
This has been the practice of the Anabaptist for hundreds of years and it is a good solid practical application to what Scripture says. What is changing? Has Scripture changed? Have we become more enlightened and we have realized that we were wrong all along? Or, is the church losing its values and becoming more like the world?
Clothing
Clothing
Why do you wear what you wear? Who decided that what you are wearing is right and good to wear?
God clothed Adam and Eve. He covered their nakedness. I believe it was much more of a covering than artists like to represent. This was a symbol of the spiritual garments that Christ brought to cover.
17 ‘Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, 18 I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.
15 (“Behold, I am coming like a thief. Blessed is the one who stays awake and keeps his clothes, so that he will not walk about naked and men will not see his shame.”)
Putting clothes on your physical body is a daily symbol that your spiritual shame needs to be covered with the robe of righteousness in Jesus Christ. Shouldn’t we take care then that we properly clothe ourselves and do not distort the symbol of salvation? This is another reason why we need to be on guard against displaying the values of the world on our clothing. The world is anti-God; it is an enemy of God. Do you think that the fashion designers and large corporations have any concern at all about your relationship with God?
Rock of Ages
‘Nothing in my hands I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked come to the for dress;
Helpless, look to the for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly,
Wash me Saviour, or I die.”
God provided the garment of salvation through the shed blood of Jesus. Putting on of clothes is a daily reminder of the need for the blood of Jesus and of the priceless gift of salvation. You have been redeemed. The Scriptures give principles to follow that will honor and please the Redeemer.
The redeemed becomes a stranger and pilgrim in this sinful and adulterous world. The world is hostile to God’s principles.
Pilgrim’s Progress - John Bunyan
“ First, the pilgrims were clothed with such kind of raiment as was diverse from the raiment of any that traded at that Fair. The people, therefore, made a great gazing: some said they were fools…bedlams…outlandish men.
Secondly…few could understand what they said; they naturally spoke the language of Canaan.
Thirdly… these pilgrims set very light by all the wares sold at the Fair; they cared not so much as to look upon them, but looked upwards, signifying that their trade and traffic was in heaven.”
Has God been invited into that decision or is it strictly yours to make and if you don’t see anything wrong with it then everyone else can just mind their own business.
The standards are the same for guys and girls although we tend to focus more on the girl’s modesty because of how we were created.
Again, how will you read the Bible?
Do we read Scripture to learn the heart of God and how best to walk with Him? Or, do we read with an eye to see how far I can walk away from Him but not totally leave Him?
Many people actually want someone to draw a line for them. Then they proceed to walk that line and figure out ways to express their carnal heart with out crossing that line or fence.
Take a cape dress for instance. That is a push button topic in conservative circles. It is a line that has been drawn for a long time and it has great value. I am not advocating throwing it out. But it is obvious that you can wear a cape dress very immodestly.
You can choose material that is slinky a form fitting. You can make your dress tight so your form is evident to all. You can design your cape in a way that exposes as much form as a t-shirt. Or, you can wear a cape and put a t-shirt over it and totally eliminate the practical purpose for the cape.
You can do all of that and feel all smug because you didn’t cross the line.
Yes you did! Forget the line! Why do you want to expose yourself rather than cover? Why would you choose something that is moving away from acceptable standards of modesty? That is where you crossed the line. When you made the choice or decision to move away from God’s way and head a little more toward the world’s. Where you land will be further downstream than you imagined.
What about us as men? Have we allowed God to speak to us about what we are to wear? Do these verses apply to you? Is what you wear just your decision to make and if you don’t see anything wrong with it then everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves?
Who are you thinking of when you style your hair and choose your clothing? God led you to purchase the expensive fashionable shirts and jeans and shoes? God is leading you away from the solid biblical applications that has endure many a flood?
Beware!
We are on the move. I am not condemning but I am warning!
If we don’t turn around I wonder if we would even be able to recognize the church in 10, 15, or 20 years. I am talking only to us here today. We are moving. Are you one that is pulling down or just floating along or are you taking a stand?
It really falls on us as men. We are to lead our homes and guard against worldliness. It falls on the church to take a stand against the drift. Why should we just be 40 years behind the world!?
How did we get to the place where Mennonite churches are wrestling with and giving into homosexuality and divorce and remarriage?
Warning! That journey starts when we leave the liberty of what God said and slip into the current of “hath God said”.
This also brings up the topic of what part the church plays in setting biblical applications etc.. We will have to look at that some other time.
Are there exceptions?
Are there exceptions?
Are there exceptions to God’s standards of modesty? Does God give allowances to lower our standard of modesty when we go to the beach, or go swimming, go hunting or fishing or hiking? Does modesty apply only when it is convenient?
I am right with you in wrestling through these ideas. We must remember that ideas have consequences.
Would we be ashamed to be seen by the church but are not ashamed to be seen by the world? Who are we glorifying?
Four guiding principles
Four guiding principles
Love God intimately
34 But when the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered themselves together. 35 One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 “This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 “The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 “On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
2. Deny self and take your cross
23 And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. 24 “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. 25 “For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself? 26 “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
3. Don’t conform.
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
4. For God’s glory
31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; 33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved.
Give none offense.
Are you a stumblingblock? A distraction? Or are you by your appearance glorifying your Redeemer?