Relationship Without Pride

I am absolutely convinced that love expressed in relationship is the most important value shown to us in the whole of the Bible.

It is love that is expressed in relationship that defines the connectedness of the Trinity— Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

It is love expressed in relationship that we have the first direct translation of a mant to heaven recorded in the Bible—Enoch, the seventh from Adam, who in a relative short life of only 365 years, when those like him recorded in Genesis were living generally about 900 years. But the record in Genesis 5 says that Enoch, the father of Methuselah the oldest life listed in the Bible, that “he was no more.” Here’s how it reads:

Genesis 5:21–24 ESV

21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he fathered Methuselah. 22 Enoch walked with God after he fathered Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters. 23 Thus all the days of Enoch were 365 years. 24 Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.

So there it is: the love of Enoch toward God resulted in a relationship, where Enoch “walked with God for 300 years....and God’s love for Enoch expressed in relationship as God took Enoch from the earth to be with him.

That’s a pretty strong example that will not be in the experience of most of us. Partly because we won’t live 300 years after becoming a parent at the age of 65. We just don’t have that kind of time to build that level of relationship with God.

So through the Old Testament we have the story of God seeking interaction with mankind as his nature of love sought to build a people who would return love for love in the great off-again, on-again relationship the descendents of Abraham.

So many frustrations for our God who is Love as his beloved rejected him, called on him, gave in to him, followed laws for him. Finally was King David, who, with all his personal failures, had a heart that was given to God, and God called him the apple of his eye.

I think that maybe one of the reasons King David was one of God’s favored people in the Old Testament is that whenever David was interacting with God, there was no pride there, just humility. David knew he was only human; he knew that God sometimes spoke in dreams and visions, but also through his Law and his prophets. So when a prophet came to David to point out his sin with Bathsheba,

2 Samuel 12:13 CSB

13 David responded to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Then Nathan replied to David, “And the Lord has taken away your sin; you will not die.

David’s relationship was restored with God because of his confession and God’s grace, exactly what John expressed in his first epistle:

1 John 1:9 CSB

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

When we come to the Lord, humbly confessing our sins, admitting to God that we are not hiding our sin from self or from God, by the blood of Jesus we are forgiven and by the grace of God we are cleansed.

Yet the consequence of our sin is not removed. If we injured another, they are still hurt. If we caused a death, they are still dead. If we infected someone or ourselves, the sickness will likely run its course. If we caused a pregnancy, the child is not to suffer our sin. If we invoked rules or policies that caused harm, the original harm remains even if we change the policies to something more generous.

The reason forgiveness is needed is to restore relationship. When we have sinned intentionally, we have put up a barrier between us and God until we confess our sin and God offers his cleansing grace.

When we have committed sin against another person, we put up a barrier that can only be brought down by forgiveness.

The universe of love that God has designed because of his very nature is a universe made for relationship. And relationship suffers when selfishness and pride overshadow love.

This is what Paul is addressing in Romans 14. Many Bible versions have added a subtitle to this passage, The Law of Liberty. We will check ourselves as we dive a little deeper into this passage.

First, we must . . .

Start With Relationship

Romans 14:1 CSB

1 Welcome anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about disputed matters.

The word to us says welcome anyone who is weak in faith. What does that mean?

It can mean someone who does not yet understand the grace of God’s forgiveness.

It can mean someone who does not yet understand the concept of our salvation purchased by Christ and not our own works.

It can mean someone who is simply naive, and treads on eggshells in the light of God’s soul-piercing vision.

It can mean someone who is still covering sin in their own lives.

So Paul says, begin with relationship. Welcome them into the fellowship.

But there is a caveat: Don’t argue about disputed matters.

Boy, that sure takes the wind out our own blustering correctness, doesn’t it?

When people ask about our church, as a part of the Church of God, Anderson, IN, they often begin with “What’s the difference between you and denomination X (you fill in the name.)?”

What is the difference, not what do you believe that I can identify with? Instead, what do you believe that I can argue about with you?

The scripture tells us not to get into an argument, but welcome another. Isn’t it interesting that this part of the sentence assumes that we will feel justified in our own opinions well enough to argue them with someone new?

Relationship is not built on argument. Relationship is built on welcoming.

Paul then gives the simple example of ...

Eating Preferences

Romans 14:2 CSB

2 One person believes he may eat anything, while one who is weak eats only vegetables.

“Eat anything” is a conclusion that Paul had come to because of his encounters with Christ and the Gentile world. “Eat anything” is not a way to a Kosher diet, but is is a way to honor the one who sets before you their best food as they welcome you to their table.

We have the Gospel verse that tells us, when Jesus says it is what comes out of a man that defiles him, not what goes in, that this mean Jesus declared all foods clean. We have Peter in Acts 10 confronted with the tablecloth from heaven with the ceremonially unclean animals of the Law of Moses. Peter is told to “kill and eat,” and after a couple refusals, Peter hears God tell him “Who are you to declare unclean what I have said is clean.”

So we can say the liberty to “eat anything” is an understanding of God’s hand in creating all foods. Is that a stronger faith than the one “who is weak” that eats only vegetables?

By the way, this in no way means that a vegetarian is weak, physically or spiritually. Paul is addressing those who may be far enough along in their own faith journey with Christ to feel complete liberty to choose anything from the menu.

But we find out that “eating only vegetables” can represent a very strong faith, as with Daniel, Hanania, Mishael, and Azariah. Those last three we remember by the Babylonian names given them, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, even though we never call Daniel “Belteshazzar”. During their 3-year training to serve the king o Babylon, they were offered a portion of the food from the King’s table instead of the gruel that most captives got. But that meant exchanging their Kosher diet, one according to the laws of Moses, for food that was unclean. So Daniel made a wager with his guard:

Daniel 1:12–16 CSB

12 “Please test your servants for ten days. Let us be given vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then examine our appearance and the appearance of the young men who are eating the king’s food, and deal with your servants based on what you see.” 14 He agreed with them about this and tested them for ten days. 15 At the end of ten days they looked better and healthier than all the young men who were eating the king’s food. 16 So the guard continued to remove their food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables.

Their vegetarian diet was a product of faith, and health was their lot. So to be a vegetarian does not necessarily mean a weaker faith—unless you are the prideful one who says “I can eat anything because of my faith.” Paul gets on our case about...

Pride and Judgement

Romans 14:3 CSB

3 One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not judge one who does, because God has accepted him.

Now Paul is only using food as an example of the many ways we might express our faith as being better than another’s faith or following of a rule, rite, ritual or practice. If we are not dressing in black and white and riding in horse-drawn buggies, does that make us people whose faith is stronger than the Amish “simple folk?”

Of course not. Theirs is a lifestyle that sets them somewhat apart from the world so that they may better remember they are a people of God. The balance of power in the realm of faith cannot be determined this way.

Get your own selfish pride out of the way of relationship.

Don’t “look down on one who does not”, what ever the does not is. Paul also hits this one from the other side: “one who does not…must not judge one who does.”

Get your pride and judgmentalism out of the way of relationship.

Same rule, same reason. Paul says, “Because God has accepted him.”

And that brings us to the core of our identity. Do you belong to your own sense of liberty of your own sense of law, or is more to your identity?

Whose Are You?

Romans 14:4 CSB

4 Who are you to judge another’s household servant? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand, because the Lord is able to make him stand.

Paul pulls us out of our pride and invites us to put ourselves where we belong, as servants. And one servant is not to judge another, for that judgement is reserved for one’s own Lord and Master.

Who are you to judge?

If we stand apart from our Lord Jesus Christ, we have freedom to judge all, harshly or fairly, without placing ourselves in their shoes. But if we choose to judge another’s faith, we are choosing to judge their standing before God. It means we are taking the position of adversary, a role that Satan chose.

So move the question to a more personal one: Whose are you, if you choose to judge the servant of the Lord?

Paul reminds us clearly and plainly. We stand before our Lord on our own as his servant. It is our Lord and Master’s prerogative to pass judgement, not ours.

“Before his own Lord he stands or falls”

But there is hope in the reprimand: “And he will stand, because the Lord is able to make him stand.”

The Lord is able.

Able to make him stand.

Our place before God is never about ourselves, our faith, our standing, our perfection, our good works. Our place before God is about the place that has been reserved for us by the blood of Jesus Christ who had done what is needed for us to remain in relationship with God.

It’s not because of what I’ve done, it’s because of who Jesus is; and it’s not because of who I am, but because of what Jesus did that brings me into the presence of the Holy God.

I hope you know that is good news for us weak-kneed, judgmental, prideful, sinful but forgiven people who are willing to trust in Jesus Christ for our salvation.

Paul continues the same argument as he discusses...

Setting Holy-days or Holidays

Romans 14:5 CSB

5 One person judges one day to be more important than another day. Someone else judges every day to be the same. Let each one be fully convinced in his own mind.

Just as food can be used as a barrier to relationship, so can holidays.

“One persons judges one day to be more important than another day.”

Well, that could mean the date we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It could mean a New Year’s celebration. It can mean the day of the spring or fall equinox or the summer of winters’ solstice. Some even choose not to mark birthdays, anniversaries, or dates to remember certain famous or honored leaders.

Paul finishes this thought simply and plainly:

“Let each one be fully convinced in his own mind.”

Now, that by itself does not just let us walk away from the subject. In your own mind means that you have thought about it. There is a reason for your celebration. There is a reason for marking the day. There is a reason that is not based on selfishness but on mindfulness.

When we lived in Canada from 1992-97, we noticed a big difference between how Memorial day was celebrated.

In the United States, Memorial day is, for the vast majority of Americans, thought of as the beginning of Summer, or a 3-day weekend to go to the beach or the mountains, camping or playing; or to watch the Indy 500 or Brickyard 400 races. For only a very few are the simple parades or half-staff flags a reason to stop and think about those who have died to win and protect our freedom and safety.

Not so many visit the National Cemeteries except those with a close relative buried there. Not so many listen to the heartfelt addresses by the friends of the fallen. We may or may not notice on the evening news that the President ceremonially presented a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington, or crowds gathered around the WWII, Korean, or Vietnam memorials around the capital mall in Washington. Because as Americans, we take our liberty for granted.

Not so in Canada, whose Remembrance Day comes in November, where at the 11th minute of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, a bell is tolled and nearly all pause to remember soldiers, sailors, airforce, marines and other defenders who have fallen.

And if you are a Canadian immigrant, you may add your own voice of remembrance, gratitude, and prayer; and you may wear the uniform of your home country if you are a veteran, Germans and English and French and Russian and Spanish and Italian and American standing together in a time of gratitude and remembrance.

Paul’s question is this: for what reason, and in what manner, do you celebrate one day over another? Is it thoughtless or mindful? And does it honor God?

Here is his comment on

Observance and Devotion

Romans 14:6–7 CSB

6 Whoever observes the day, observes it for the honor of the Lord. Whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; and whoever does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat it, and he gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for himself, and no one dies for himself.

Whatever the Holy-Day, is it marked for the honor of the Lord?

When you feast, is it for the Lord?

Is it celebrated with thankfulness to God?

These are key to a Christian Devotion when a holiday is celebrated. There are not many special days noted in Scripture that we are required to mark out. Not new moons or new years or any particular date marking the seasons.

Feast days are proposed, Booths to mark God’s presence in the wilderness; Passover to mark the power of God to free his people, and Weeks or Firstfruits or Pentecost, to mark the Lord’s bounty.

We don’t have a rule in the Bible for Christmas or even Easter. Thanksgiving is an American tradition. All the other holidays are arbitrary or sometimes set by unions to break up the year.

The point is this: When you celebrate, do you celebrate for the honor of the Lord?

And if you choose to decline the celebration or feast, is that for the Lord? Do you give thanks also from what you abstain?

Paul again reminds us of relationship:

Romans 14:7 CSB

7 For none of us lives for himself, and no one dies for himself.

Relationship. We aren’t our own, we are His. We are not our own, for we are responsible to and responsible for others. This isn’t a simple as “No man is an island.” Relationship is active and vital and important.

So always remember ...

That We Live for God

Romans 14:8–9 CSB

8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and returned to life for this: that he might be Lord over both the dead and the living.

Our Church of God hymn by Charles Naylor says “Whether I live or die, whether I wake or sleep, whether upon the land or on the stormy deep, When ’tis serene and calm, Or when the wild winds blow, I shall not be afraid— I am the Lord’s, I know.”

If we ive, do it for God. If we die, rest in the arms of God. No matter what, “I am the Lord’s I know”—we belong to the Lord.

Paul emphases our relationship with God because it is purchased by the very Blood of Christ our Lord: Christ died, was raised for this; with the end being that He is Lord of the living and the dead, as God the Father places all things under Jesus Christ His Son.

Now it is not enough in this passage to say “do not judge.” That will miss something very important for us. In this passage we can discover...

Whom We Should Judge

Romans 14:10–12 CSB

10 But you, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will give praise to God. 12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

The benediction to this passage first reminds us to stop our judgement of another Christian; step away from any bias or prejudice of another Christian, and remember where the real judgement takes place:

“For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.”

Paul quotes Isaiah 45:23 to remind us of before whom we bow. “Every knee will bow to me, Every tongue praise God.” In Philippians 2, Paul tells us Jesus is given the name above all names, so that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

But now back up to the point we have here: It is before God that we are judged.

And before God, we don’t have authority to accuse another. Before God, we don’t have authority to condemn another. Before God, we don’t have the right to argue the points of the law or the wonders of His grace.

Before God, each of us will give an account of ourselves.

Whom are we to judge, then?

Very simply, very plainly, without question or doubt,

Each of us just judge ourselves. Self-reflection. Honesty with ourselves, so we can be honest with God and honest with one another. Brutally honest with ourselves, as David was at the word of the prophet Nathan.

If we will not judge ourselves with that kind of brutal honesty, so we can humbly confess and seek God’s forgiveness, we will hear the charges laid upon us at the judgment seat of God.

You think you get uncomfortable when someone catches you cheating on your diet or speeding in your car?

Why don’t you think for a minute about standing in judgement before God at the last day. Where will your pride be then?

Friends, be mindful. Be honest. Be humble. Seek God’s forgiveness and cleansing through confession. Pride will prevent us from being honest with ourselves before God who is not fooled by any of us.

1 John 1:10 ESV

10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

And know that your forgiveness has been purchased already by Jesus.