Who Is Responsible? (10-4-2020)

Who is responsible? 10-4-20 Beginning Scripture: Ezekiel 18:2 "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: "'The parents eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'?" NIV or another translation: "The children are punished for their father's sins." TLB In spite of the above verse, it is true that in this life the wickedness and mistakes of our parents are visited upon us. I have been interested in this idea for a long time. I am aware that many of the patterns for my life began to be set in motion from the day I was born in Our Lady of the Lake Hospital in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and that those patterns were continued for the many years I lived under my parents' roof. Because they were fallible human beings and because their parents greatly influenced their formation as persons, they too were in a sense victims of their parents' mistakes. Of course, we acquire a lot of good stuff from our parents and grandparents - for example, musical ability, language, virtues and moral formation. BUT if we were mistreated and ill-formed by our parents, we will bear the brand of that mistreatment. We know that child abuse and neglect have severe consequences for the formation of children's personality and character. Research also shows that children of parents who were drug addicts tend to have developmental and personality problems or challenges. https://www.aaets.org/traumatic-stress-library/effects-of-parental-substance-abuse-on-children-and-families Mothers who have depression and anxiety during pregnancy or after birth can have difficulties in becoming close to their babies and may not be able to respond to what their babies need. Of course, if a mother cannot meet the needs of her children, this will have very negative outcomes and problems for those children. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/Pages/Depression-and-Anxiety-During-Pregnancy-and-After-Birth-FAQs.aspx Blame the Parents? In an article by psychologist, Dr. Jim Taylor about adults' needs, he makes the distinction between real needs such as the need for food, love, safety, and socialization and created needs. Created needs are the needs we get because of our parents did not meet our real basic needs. These created needs can lead to profound feelings of inadequacy and various psychological disorders that can persist long after childhood - well into adulthood. As mentioned a moment ago, various personality problems such as alcoholism, or eating disorders, can be passed on as created needs in children, the need to overeat to fill a void in the self or other unhealthy need to escape and avoid the normal difficulties and pains of life. These are created needs. Taylor says that it is proper to blame our parents for the created needs they pass on to us. I would put it differently. I would say we need to hold our parents accountable for the mistakes they made and for any mistreatment or neglect. That does not mean our parents were bad people or that we should hate them. They probably did the best they could do with what THEY had, with what they got from their parents. We are responsible for our own behavior. We are responsible for our own behavior. So we should not keep blaming our parents for who we are NOW. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-prime/201204/personal-growth-blame-your-parents-your-problems Lessons from Ezekiel about who is responsible Today's Sunday School lesson based on Chapter 18 of Ezekiel makes it clear that as individuals we are never punished for the sins of our parents. They are accountable for their sins AND they will be rewarded for their faithfulness to God. We should not blame our parents for the sins we commit as adults. It is true we are not responsible for the wounds we suffered from our parents or from others, but we are responsible for our recovery from those wounds. In addition we are responsible for the wounds we inflict on others. Ezekiel 18:3 says "... every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son - both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die." Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." The Life Application Bible says this about those first verses of Ezekiel Chapter 18: " Although we often suffer the effects of sins committed by those who came before us, God does not punish us for someone else's sins, and we can't use their mistakes as an excuse for our sins. Each person is accountable to God for his or her actions. And the wisdom taught in Ezekiel goes even further describing the people of Judah who thought that because their ancestors were righteous (18:5-9) they in that generation would live. But God told them that if they were evil sons they would die. Finally, as God always does for us, he gave the people of Judah an out. In verses 14-18 he tells them: if, however, anyone returned to God, he or she would live." Always God says repentance will bring us back to Him. Questions and Challenges * What are the wounds you suffered from your parents or others because of their mistakes, abuse, or neglect? * How have these wounds affected you? * Name one or two things you have done to heal from those wounds, to take responsibility for your own mistakes, and describe the benefits of your recovery. Prayer Dear Father, I am grateful that you have taught me difficult lessons through your correction of my own mistakes. I need correction and I need your grace to recover from my own bad habits, sins, and mistakes. For I know, Father, that I am accountable for the habits and patterns that I have set in motion that violate your love and harm others. Father, forgive me for these errors. All I want to do is to surrender to you the entirety of my life. I know I must surrender to your will each day and each hour of each day. Father I know I can trust you to care for me. Thank you for your overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love. I pray these things in the name of your son and my precious savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.