Becoming Whole Sermon Notes Week 7 - Forgiveness

Notes:

Forgiven & Forgiver

Bible:

The english word “Forgive” shows up 75 times in the NT (ESV)

Two main words are translated as forgiveness in the NT.

Aphime - 62 times

charitsomai - 10

Resources

Forgiveness

Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible Forgiveness in the NT

There are other distinctively NT concepts of forgiveness. The Greek word charizomai, meaning “to forgive sins,” is distinctively developed by Paul in terms of God’s gracious pardon (2 Cor 2:7; 12:13; Eph 4:32; Col 2:13; 3:13). Sin is considered as a debt, and aphesis denotes the discharge of a debt (“putting it away,” Lk 6:37). Forgiveness is also treated as remission, paresis, (“passing over”). God has not executed the full retribution called for by sin (Acts 14:16; 17:30); instead, he has shown mercy.

Quotes

Bold Love Quotes

I counseled a woman who had been barbarously and ritualistically abused by her father and mother. After many months of work, she began to explore her feelings toward her father. At one point, she asserted that she would, and could, never forgive her father for his evil cruelty. I asked her this question: "What would you do if God gave you the choice between pushing a button on your left, which when touched would utterly destroy your father at this minute, or a button on your right, which would lead to radical, deep repentance and the kind of change that would make him the father God intended him to be?" She sat stunned for a long time. Her shock turned to silent, teary rage. She glared at me for almost“twenty minutes . After what felt like an eternity, she said, "You have put me in a terrible bind." I agreed. Her next words were startling. She said, "If I push the button on the left, then I am saying I am as evil as he is. But if I push the button on the right, then I am admitting I really want him to be my father. And I am far more afraid of allowing my heart to feel desire and longing than I am of being evil." She had spent most of her life killing the desire for her dad to be a true father. The idea of pushing the button on the right, with its implications, was far more terrifying than pushing the button on the left.”

— Bold Love by Dan Allender, Tremper Longman

https://a.co/fXu6krC

Other Notes

Sometimes, Others Do Not Apologize

Second, what if the offender does not repent? For example, the other person refuses to acknowledge that she has wronged us, and she goes further to blame us for what she did—as if we should be apologizing to her instead of the other way around! As noted above, we cannot pursue a vulnerable, trusting relationship with someone who hardens against us in this way. If they have so little concern for how they have damaged us, then the idea of relationship with them will likely be just a pretense. The offender who is unconcerned for her violation against us does not want to really love us. We cannot continue to entrust ourselves to her unless she repents.

Without the other person’s repentance, our problem remains of not being able to forgive them. We continue to bear the injury when they will not take responsibility, and so we will suffer additionally the bitterness of having been wronged. This is the bitterness of injustice. Instead of pretending to forgive them at a distance and without their repentance, I suggest that we recourse to the idea of pardoning them. The pardon allows us to set aside the injury and our bitterness into God’s hands. The pardon does not advance relationship with them, since reconciliation cannot occur without forgiveness, which depends on repentance (which sometimes depends on our part to “show him his fault”). Romans 12:14-21 urges Christians, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (NASB). We cannot make others to be at peace with us, but we can work for their repentance and refrain from taking revenge.

Against the reflex of taking revenge, Paul warns us not to, and then follows this with the assurance that God “will repay” the wrongs done to us (Rom. 12:19). As a matter of justice, we sometimes hold on to bitterness subconsciously as a desire to maintain justice, but this only hurts us. Instead of revenge and bitterness, and when the possibility of forgiveness is out of our hands because of the offender’s refusal to repent, we have the option of pardoning the wrong done through handing it off to God’s justice for him to deal with as he thinks best. Practically, I have found this to work by unburdening myself to God. “I don't want to carry this anymore, God. I give it into Your hands.” Pardon is the less desirable option than forgiveness (leading to reconciliation), but it is the better option than bitterness or revenge.

https://www.biola.edu/blogs/good-book-blog/2017/can-there-be-forgiveness-without-repentance-part-2

If we are not willing to forgive, it is an indication that we have not fully understood or experienced the grace of being forgiven (see Luke 7:47). This is true regardless of the “offender’s” attitude towards his actions. Perhaps you can see the distinction we’re trying to make.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/forgiving-the-unrepentant/