A House Or A Home?

Joshua 24 : 1‑3a, 14‑25

Joshua 24:1-3 (NCV) 1 Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel together at Shechem. He called the older leaders, heads of families, judges, and officers of Israel to stand before God. 2 Then Joshua said to all the people, “Here’s what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you: ’A long time ago your ancestors lived on the other side of the Euphrates River. Terah, the father of Abraham and Nahor, worshiped other gods. 3 But I, the Lord, took your ancestor Abraham from the other side of the river and led him through the land of Canaan. And I gave him many children, including his son Isaac.

Joshua 24:14-25 (NCV) 14 Then Joshua said to the people, “Now respect the Lord and serve him fully and sincerely. Throw away the gods that your ancestors worshiped on the other side of the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord. 15 But if you don’t want to serve the Lord, you must choose for yourselves today whom you will serve. You may serve the gods that your ancestors worshiped when they lived on the other side of the Euphrates River, or you may serve the gods of the Amorites who lived in this land. As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.“ 16 Then the people answered, “We will never stop following the Lord to serve other gods! 17 It was the Lord our God who brought our ancestors out of Egypt. We were slaves in that land, but the Lord did great things for us there. He brought us out and protected us while we traveled through other lands. 18 Then he forced out all the people living in these lands, even the Amorites. So we will serve the Lord, because he is our God.“ 19 Then Joshua said, “You are not able to serve the Lord, because he is a holy God and a jealous God. If you turn against him and sin, he will not forgive you. 20 If you leave the Lord and serve other gods, he will send you great trouble. The Lord may have been good to you, but if you turn against him, he will destroy you.“ 21 But the people said to Joshua, “No! We will serve the Lord.“ 22 Then Joshua said, “You are your own witnesses that you have chosen to serve the Lord.“ The people said, “Yes, we are.“ 23 Then Joshua said, “Now throw away the gods that you have. Love the Lord, the God of Israel, with all your heart.“ 24 Then the people said to Joshua, “We will serve the Lord our God, and we will obey him.“ 25 On that day at Shechem Joshua made an agreement for the people. He made rules and laws for them to follow.

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"Now then," Joshua continued, "honor the Lord and serve him sincerely and faithfully. Get rid of the gods which your ancestors used to worship in Mesopotamia and in Egypt, and serve only the Lord. If you are not willing to serve him, decide today whom you will serve, the gods your ancestors worshiped in Mesopotamia or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are now living. As for my family and me, we will serve the Lord."

A family moved to a new city where the father's company had transferred him. This meant that little Sharon would enter the first grade in a brand‑new school. On the first day of class, the teacher was asking each student to provide her with some information as she called the roll. After asking for the proper spelling of her name, the teacher asked Sharon for her address. The youngster replied, "Miss Smith, we don't have an address yet!" "Oh," said the teacher, "your family doesn't have a home yet?" Sharon replied, "Yes, ma'am, we have a home; we just haven't found a house to put it in!"

How right that little girl was! A house is not automatically a home. There are people who live in enormous houses with every convenience you can imagine, but they don't have a home.

Then there are families who live in squalid conditions in a two‑room house, but you only have to be there a few minutes to experience the love, the laughter, and the togetherness ‑ and you know they have a home.

The home is the most important institution in this country. It has been said many times that if you destroy the home, you can destroy the nation. I heard Robert Schuller tell that in Colorado one day a great oak tree fell down. It was more than five hundred years old. It was a mere sapling when Columbus sailed to America. It had been struck by lightning fourteen times; it had survived storms, withstood earthquakes, and endured mud slides. Everyone was curious about what had finally brought it down. After an extensive examination, it was discovered that some tiny beetles had bored under the bark, dug into its heart, and eaten away at its fibers. The mighty oak was destroyed from within, and it came tumbling down.

My friends, the United States of America is in danger of a great tumble, because the beetles of moral decay have been nibbling away, quietly and unnoticed, at the fiber of the family. We have reached a point where divorce is easier for couples than working at a marriage; abortion has become an easy and accessible means of birth control; children spend more time in nurseries and with television than they do with parents; and old folks are unnecessarily ushered into nursing homes to get them out of the way.

We Christians have a divine responsibility to strengthen America by having the kind of homes God wants us to have. If we make our families strong, we will make our nation strong. So today I want to suggest some ways to create and maintain strong Christian homes. 

Transmit Values

First, let your house be a place where positive Christian values are transmitted from generation to generation. It has been said time and time again that the home is the first and most influential school any of us attends. If we parents don't make an intentional effort to pass along Christian values and family traditions to our children, no one else will. It reminds me of the old days when the Pony Express was in operation. I remember viewing reenactments on television of the mail being carried hundreds of miles by horsemen. One rider would gallop alongside another and pass a saddlebag of important messages to him. The fresh rider would carry the mail for a distance, and then hand it to another until, finally, the messages reached their destinations. In the Pony Express System, the most crucial time was when one rider was passing the mail bag to another. If the bag was dropped and destroyed by the pounding hoofs, or lost by the rider, the messages would never get through. It was most important that the mail be carefully passed from one to another. It's similar in the home! One of the primary responsibilities and opportunities of the Christian home is to pass values from one generation to the next, smoothly and successfully. It must be done early. Children are much like wet cement. You have to work with cement in the early stages, while it's soft and pliable. Then you can shape it and smooth it; but once it dries ‑ it's set! Then it becomes a nearly impossible task to change it.

So it is with children. Seventy‑five percent of what they learn is gained before they are five years old and that is the time the home has the greatest influence.

Parents and grandparents, does your home transmit values to your children? Does its warmth and quietness speak of the love and security that it offers? Are you showing your children the value of loving their grandparents by your regular family visits with them and by loving ways you speak about them? (The way your children see you treat their grandparents is most likely the way they will teach their children to treat you!) Is your home a place where the youngsters learn the value of spending time with the entire family gathered together, not in front of the TV, but for fun and games with one another? Are you transmitting to your children the value of accepting responsibility for their rooms, their chores, their money, and their pets?

Be sure your home is a place where positive Christian values are transmitted from one generation to the next. That is one of the important factors in creating and maintaining a strong Christian home. 

A Place of Welcome 

The second factor is this: Let your home be a place where your children and their friends are welcome. When I was a pre‑schooler, I had a group of friends who would take turns having the others over to their house. We would play in the yard or in the house, and then the host mother would have some refreshments for us. All except one mother, hosted us. Tommy's mother would never let us come into her house ‑ it had always "just been cleaned," she said, "and she didn't want us making a mess." Tommy told us not to feel badly because his mother told him that, too. He laughed and said, "She thinks more of the house than she does of me." Interestingly enough, Tommy ran away from home a number of times and explained to his parents that he "just did not feel loved or welcome there." My friend, Tommy, committed suicide when he was twenty‑six years old.

Now, I'm not suggesting that he killed himself just because his parents would not permit his friends to come in the house. No, he had other problems as well. But I do think that contributed to the view of himself ‑ that the house and things in it were more important and valuable than he and his friends.

Parents, children should respect and take care of property, but, please remember, people are more valuable than things. Your house belongs to your children, too, even though they didn't pay a penny for it. So establish some rules and regulations ahead of time, to which the youngsters agree ‑ and then open your home to their friends. It means a lot to your youngsters.

A pastor told of visiting a couple who had two teen‑age boys. As he entered the house, he immediately sensed it was a warm and loving home. While there, he noticed that the rug in the living room was very tattered and worn, and he wondered why. Before he left, the mother related a story that accounted for its condition. She said that one day several boys from the neighborhood were having a good time in the living room. She preferred that they go play elsewhere. "But where will we go?" they asked. "How about your house?" she said, while nodding to one of the kids. "Not a chance," replied the boy. "I'm not allowed to invite friends in." Then she said to another, "Well, how about your place?" He quickly responded, "Oh, my Mom wouldn't let us mess up the living room!" The mother quickly realized that her home was the only one where the boys felt free to come and play. From then on they were always welcome. "After I heard her story," said the pastor, "that tattered rug seemed almost beautiful. It was worn‑out in providing those boys with a safe, loving place to play."

Certainly children should be taught respect for property, and they should do their part to care for the home, but parents should never place so much importance on furnishings that human values suffer. A child's feelings of being loved and valuable are more important than a little wear and tear on the house. Let your house be a place where your children's friends are welcome! 

Keep Pressures Out 

Third, let your home be a place where undesirable pressures of work and school are kept out. Now I'm not suggesting that you establish a rule that no outside problems or frustations are to be discussed at home. That would be quite unhealthy and unrealistic. Home is where we should be able to find understanding ears and strong shoulders upon which we can unburden our hearts and seek guidance in an atmosphere of love. But what I am suggesting is that you not be so emotionally distracted by what's going on at work or school that you cannot be emotionally available for your family at home. I am very guilty about this. Many times Jackie will ask me, "Where is your mind?" and I will have to confess that it's working on next week's sermon, or it's planning this week's Bible Study, or it's on some member who is hospitalized or another in need of counseling. That is not fair to my family, and I thank the Lord that I'm getting better.

Many of us are guilty in this respect. Maybe you don't carry home with you from the office a briefcase full of work to do; but many mothers and fathers bring home minds that are full of thoughts about the latest projects they're working on, the harsh words which were spoken by the boss, the threat of that person who is after your job, or something that happened at school that day. Do not carry those concerns into your home! Don't let them take you away from your family.

Perhaps we should follow the example of Robert. Robert was the next‑door neighbor of Pastor Johnson. Almost every day the two of them would return home from work about the same time. Pastor Johnson noticed a curious thing. Many days before going into his home, Robert would stop at a willow tree in his front yard and touch its limbs with both hands. Then he would enter the house with a smile to hug his wife and children.

One day the pastor asked him about that ritual, and Robert explained. "Oh, that's my trouble tree. I can't help having problems at work, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my family. So I just hang 'em on the tree when I come home. Then in the morning, I pick them up again. And, you know the funny thing is, when I pick them up in the morning, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging there the night before."

Most of us ‑ men, women, and children ‑ would profit from such a practice. Don't let unnecessary problems from your job or school distract your attention from your family. Work hard to make your home a place of shelter from the undesirable pressures of work or school. 

Keep Christ Central

The fourth way to help create a Christian home is this: Let Jesus Be Central!

When the multimillionaire, Andrew Carnegie, was building a new home for his family, he instructed the architect to place the following inscription over the living‑room fireplace: "This hearth is our family altar ‑ its warmth reminds us of Christ's presence in our home." After the house and fireplace were completed, the architect went to Carnegie and said, "You'll have to choose another motto, that one is too long to fit over the fireplace." "No!" said the millionaire, "I want those words. If you must, then tear down that fireplace and build a bigger one."

The architect informed him, "Sir, you cannot build a bigger fireplace without building a bigger room!" "All right," was the reply, "tear out the walls and build a bigger room!" The architect then said, "But a bigger room will throw the entire house out of proportion!" "Then tear the entire house down and start over," the millionaire said, "for we must have that motto as a constant reminder that Christ is in our home!"

We could say that Andrew Carnegie built his home around the conviction that Jesus Christ was central in his family. Are you building your home around that same conviction? Does your daily life reflect the truth that you really believe Christ is present in your home? Do you show your family that Christ is central to your praying with them? Or is the Lord's Prayer in worship the only time your family prays together?

Are you demonstrating to your family the importance of Bible reading by having daily devotions, or is Sunday morning the only time you have contact with Scriptures? Do you lift hymns of praiseto the rafter during worship only to raise the roof with bickering and arguments at home?

Are your actions, your speech, your love honestly proclaiming the presence of Christ in your home, or do they demonstrate your belief that you really left the Lord back at the Church? Jesus Christ must be central in your family life if you expect to build and maintain a strong Christian home.

Many years ago, near the royal English residence on the Isle of Wight, stood several homes for the poor and aged. A missionary, visiting one of the homes, asked a lady, "Does Queen Victoria ever call on you here?" "Oh, yes," was the answer. "Her Majesty frequently comes here to see us." Then, wondering if the woman was a Christian, the missionary inquired, "Does the King of Kings ever visit here?" The lady immediately gave him a happy smile and said, "No sir, he doesn't visit here. Praise God, He lives here! That's why we are so richly blessed!"

Does the King of Kings live in your home? Does it have a spiritual atmosphere? Do the plaques on the wall, the books on the shelves, and the records on your stereo announce to those who visit that Christ is central in your home? If you want to have a strong Christian home, your family life must revolve around the powerful presence of Jesus Christ. 

Conclusion

Our nation will stand strong or feebly fall on the foundation of its homes. If moral and spiritual decay continue to nibble away at the fiber of American family life, then the downfall of this country is approaching rapidly. But if you and I, as Believers, will set an example by constantly working to create strong Christian homes for our families, there may be hope for the future.

A little boy asked his busy mother to help him find something to do. So the mother found a large map of the United States on a page in a magazine. With a pair of scissors, she cut up the map into small pieces like a puzzle. Then she gave the pieces and some tape to her son and challenged him to put it together.

The youngster returned in almost no time with the map together. Mother was amazed and said, "Son, how did you get that entire map of the United States together so fast?" The youngster said, "It was easy. On the back of the map was a picture of a family. So I turned it over and started to work. Once I got the family put together, the country turned out just right."

How true that is! The strength of our nation depends on the strength of our families. Let us be challenged today to work hard to make our houses into homes,... where positive Christian values are transmitted from one generation to the next;... where friends are welcomed and children are more valuable than furniture;... where undesirable pressures are kept out, and where Jesus Christ is kept centralThat's how you make a house a home!