Respectful Rebukes

INTRODUCTION:

Interest:

In elementary school and high school, I played the trombone. I basically gave it up when I started college. I was going to play in my college band my freshman year, but I learned that I would be expected to practice a couple of hours a day. Most of the band members were music majors so their practice and studies overlapped. Such was not the case for me. I didn’t have the time for the trombone in college and never have managed to pick it up again.

I started playing the trombone in 5th grade. When I first began playing the instrument, I allowed my cheeks to puff out when blowing into the horn. They naturally wanted to do that, so I let them. It wasn’t too long, though, until my instructor realized I was doing that and set out to correct my behavior before it became a habit. Apparently, you lose some control in your tone and you lose a lot of control in your lip for higher notes when your cheeks are puffed out. It is vital to keep good muscle control throughout your face if you want to have good muscle control for your notes.

Of course, as a beginning student I didn’t know any of that. I just knew what seemed normal to me—puffed out cheeks. My instructor had the greater understanding and so he had the responsibility of correcting both by thinking and my behavior.

Involvement:

A similar principle often comes into play in the church. Often times we believe that a certain way of thinking is correct, or a certain action is not harmful or contrary to our spiritual lives. Such is not the case, but we don’t know what we don’t know spiritually. At those times, it is necessary for someone who has greater spiritual insight or understanding to come alongside us and correct us.

Context:

Tonight, as you can see on the screen, I am only planning on covering two verses in Paul’s first letter to young Timothy. Last week we looked at the end of the fourth chapter as Paul gave a number of direct instructions to Timothy. Timothy was in Ephesus on Paul’s behalf, trying to bring the ministry of the church there back into focus. He had to deal with several false teachers and the various problems that they had created in the ministry through their teaching.

I believe that I mentioned early on that it is likely that most of us have never had a series through this letter before. It is a difficult letter to preach through. This letter is often used in conferences to pastors which makes sense; Timothy was functioning somewhat as a pastor and was directly addressing pastors. It is doesn’t require a lot of climbing what is called the ladder of abstraction in preaching to figure out how the principles that Paul shares with Timothy applies to preachers. Yet, I trust you also remember that I mentioned at the outset that there are several indications throughout this letter that Paul expected that this letter would be read to the entire church. That means that there are also applications inherent within it for the entire church. The problem is that the distance between the actions that Timothy is to take Ephesus in support of the ministry of Jesus Christ and the actions that you are to take in support of the ministry of First Baptist Church of Sterling Heights is pretty large. We have to climb several rungs up that ladder of abstraction to find the principles that drive the specific advice that Paul gives Timothy so that we can, then, in turn, apply those same principles to our lives in equally specific, but different, ways.

I say all of this so that we will understand the challenge that is before us tonight. We are looking at verses that give very direct advice to Timothy is the situation that he was facing in Ephesus. I believe that the reason that these letters are so little preached to the church overall is because of this kind of challenge. Doing so, though, is to the detriment of the church. We need to consider all the words that Paul gave to Timothy including the ones found in these two verses tonight. We cannot limit ourselves to the more abstract principles that he gives, like those in his second letter that says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.” I don’t think any of us would want to set those words aside as not applicable to us in some sense. Well, neither should we set these more specific words aside, even if we do have to think a bit harder as to how they apply.

Preview:

This evening, I want to slowly build one general idea from our verses. We will read our verses and then begin to think our way through them to build that general idea.

Transition from introduction to body:

Reading our verses…<read 1 Tim 5:1–2>.

The first part of the general idea that we can construct from these verses is that…

BODY:

I. We must correct one another.

Timothy clearly is given the responsibility to correct others in these verses. He had already been told that he is to instruct the church about both the false teachers and the strange doctrines that they taught. There is every reason to believe that some of that instruction will generate actual fights with the false teachers. Timothy is not to shy away from the battle, but at the same time a large portion of his energy is to go toward positive instruction in the church. He is to teach proper worship. He is to guide in the selection of qualified men. He is to emphasize the church’s overall responsibility to guard doctrine. In fact, the one thing that we can see clearly in these two verses that I just read is that Timothy’s efforts are not to remain limited to leaders. He is to interact with everyone in church.

Paul divides the church body into four natural groupings from Timothy’s perspective. There are men and women and then there are those older and those equal to or younger than Timothy. Older men would be older than Timothy. Younger men would be younger than the older men, equal in age to Timothy or younger than him. Same with the women. Timothy is to interact instructively with all of these groups within the church; in other words, with everyone.

At the same time, I hope that we all realize that positive instruction seeks transformation, transformation in both actions and thinking. Both the things that we naturally do AND the way that we naturally think are broken. We cannot trust our instincts. We cannot rely on our conscious as our guide. We need to be taught want God’s word instructs. And we also need to be challenged to critique our own positions. We need people to come alongside us and point out the inconsistencies in our thoughts, the error of our logic.

This certainly is the responsibility of the pastor in a church. The pastor is to guide the entire church into a clearer understanding of God’s word through his teaching and preaching. The pastor is also to have a function interacting directly with the people of the church. Through teaching and preaching there will be correction of thinking and acting as the Holy Spirit applies the word to lives. There are numerous informal ways that the pastor can go about correcting people in the church. Timothy was somewhat filling the role of a pastor in Ephesus so he would have both these formal and informal duties to correct people.

But does the fact that Timothy sort-of had the role of pastor mean that you are off the hook? Does it mean that only me and Pastor Aaron and Carl have the duty to correct wrong thinking and wrong actions in the church. As I said at the outset, there are probably broader principles that we can see being applied specifically to Timothy’s case here.

One of those principles, I would suggest is that all of us have a responsibility to correct one another. After all, we see that idea directly taught in places like Rom 15:14:

And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.

This idea of admonish one another is that of can have the idea of correcting as well as instructing. For example, in Col 3:16 admonishment is done through instruction by way of hymns. Yet in 2 Thess 3:15 admonishment clearly has a correcting aspect as one who does not respond to the instructions of Paul’s letter is to be taken to task by the church.

My point is, Timothy clearly has a duty to correct the people in the church in Ephesus, a duty that Paul directly calls him to. Still, the fact that God has preserved this example in Scripture and supports the general principle in other places indicates that we all are to learn from Timothy’s example. We all have the duty of correcting one another.

Proverbs 27:5even indicates that the act of correcting wrong thinking and wrong action is an expression of love.

Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed.

We live in a society that has redefined love to be some sort of warm fuzzy feeling. We are told that anything that makes someone feel uneasy with his actions or unsure of her thoughts is unloving. Only positive affirmation can be loving. But that is simply false. Love is pointing people to their Creator. Love is calling people back to their Creator. Love is helping people serve their Creator more effectively. And because of the broken state of our world and our own souls, love means that we all need correcting because we naturally are inclined to rebelling against our Creator.

Illustration

It is a bit like my trombone playing. It would not have been loving for my instructor to allow me to go on playing with my cheeks puffed out like a squirrel with a mouth full of nuts. In order to become a better player, I needed correction.

Are you correcting the people you love, their thinking and their actions?

Transition:

We must correct one another. That is the first part of a general idea that we can learn from Paul’s two verses directed toward Timothy that we are looking at tonight. To that basic thought, though, let’s add another idea…

II. We must correct one another with the right attitude.

We see this idea in the details Paul gives concerning the older man. I mentioned last week that Timothy was probably in his early thirties at the time of this letter. Undoubtedly, some of the false teachers would have been older than him. I also mentioned that the society of his day placed a high premium on respecting elders. Those two factors created a challenge for Timothy. He needed to confront and oppose the false teachers, but at the same time he could not bring damage to the name of Christ by disrespecting those he was to respect.

The solution Paul says is in the way that Timothy was to approach a man who was older; it was a matter of his attitude. He is to appeal to the older man to make the necessary change in thought or actions as he would appeal to his father; he was not to “rebuke” him.

The word that Paul uses for “rebuke” is one that carries a sense of severity with it. That is why the NASB translates it as “sharply rebuke.” It is trying to clarify that Paul is not denying the need for the confrontation, but he is denying the need to do it with a severely harsh attitude.

In fact, a proper attitude is to govern Timothy’s interaction with all the people in the group as demonstrated by Paul’s dropping into familial terms when he divides up the church. Timothy is to see the people of the church as “fathers” and “mothers,” as “brothers” and “sisters.” He should perform his duties toward the church in a manner that is consistent to what would be proper within a family. The idea of “appeal” applies to all the people in the church, Timothy cannot neglect his duties toward anyone, but the way that he will make his appeal will be governed by the best ideals of the culture of interacting with a corresponding family member. As one commentator expressed it, ““In God’s household there is an appropriate way for the leader to treat people--exactly as one does in one’s own family (assuming a cultural ideal of great deference and respect in the home).”

Of course, the commentator had to add that last parenthetical thought, “assuming a cultural ideal of great deference and respect in the home,” because the ideal is disappearing in our culture, and at times in history and in other parts of the world has disappeared nearly completely.

Illustration

Think about it, it is not unusual to hear of siblings who will not even speak to one another. It is sadly commonplace to see children yelling at their parents now in our society. The deference and respect that should be in the home is increasingly absent.

Yet, the general command given in Exodus 20:12 is still applicable; it is God’s ideal for the home.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.”

Our Lord quoted this commandment in the Gospels as a commandment that a person striving for righteousness must fulfill. The Apostle Paul quoted it Eph 6:2 as proper way for a Christian home to function. God’s ideal for the family has been broken by sin, but it has not been erased any more than God’s image in mankind is erased by sin; which it is not. That is why these relationships between Timothy and the other members of the church still are useful to reflect the proper attitude for his actions.

Well, assuming that I convinced you a short time ago that we all have the responsibility to correct one another, then it stands to reason that just as it is vital for Timothy to approach correction with the right attitude, so too is it vital for us to do so. We must correct one another with the right attitude.

The people sitting around you tonight are your spiritual family.

Illustration

We celebrated that idea last week when we partook of the Lord’s Supper together. That meal celebrates that we are united with one another through our shared union with Christ.

Our verses this evening remind us that our shared union is best described as a family: fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters. Our family members may need correcting at times, but our attitude should reflect our relationship. Love and concern should be apparent. The goal is not to win an argument … we are not to fight like immature brothers and sisters might squabble in elementary school … we are to show concern for the well-being of our family members. Even our words of correction are filled with honor and respect, concern and love.

Transition:

We must correct one another with the right attitude. “With the right attitude” adds the second idea that we can extract from Timothy’s situation in Ephesus. To complete our thought tonight, though, I want to add one more idea…

III. We must correct one another with the right attitude and demeanor.

I find the idea of a right demeanor in the added element that Paul puts into Timothy’s instruction regarding the younger women. Timothy is to treat younger women as sisters, “in all purity.” Purity means that Timothy is to avoid any sort of immorality when it comes to the younger women. At the same time, that word “all” renders the purity absolute. There can be no breach of propriety of any kind. Not just acts of immorality are covered, but anything that would be crude or out of place.

When it comes to pastor care, a concern for purity must be a part of all interactions between the pastor and women of the church. I am sure that we all know of sad examples of failure in this regard. I have specific policies that I follow regarding meeting with ladies of the church. I have reviewed these policies with the deacons of the church as well as with my wife to ensure that I didn’t overlook anything. For example, I do not meet with a lady in the church without telling my wife that I am meeting with so and so by name. Grace will not ask why I am meeting so that I do not reveal confidence, but she knows who I am meeting with.

But again, I think we can broaden out the specifics of Timothy’s situation to a more general principle. After all, Paul called on all of the Corinthians in 1 Cor 11:1:

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.

Paul makes that statement in a context of demonstrating how he is careful about his actions so that they will not give offense to anyone: to either the Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God. Paul is concerned how his demeanor appears before unbelievers of any ethnic background or before believers within the church. And he calls on all the church in Corinth to follow his example.

In our verse, Paul is applying that general concept to the particular situation that Timothy could find himself facing. He might have to deal with a young woman in the church, teaching and correcting her. But as he does so he must recognize simultaneously that he is representing Christ in Ephesus. The interaction with the young lady presents a particular danger if he does not keep his guard up. So, he is to keep his guard up. He is not to avoid the duty; he is to do his duty with due care.

Really the same principle applies to every relationship and every duty that we have as Christians. We are always representing the name of Christ. It is not merely our reputation that is at stake; it is Christ’s reputation that is tied to us by the title Christian.

Illustration

We live in a society that celebrates crudeness and rudeness. Yet, we also live in a society that knows such is unbecoming and will instantly use such actions against our attempts to point people to Jesus Christ. Last week I mentioned social media. In this divisive political climate especially, we need to be very careful about our online demeanor. We might think that we are being clever when we make derogatory comments about an opposing candidate or post a crude meme that makes a point we like. In reality, though, we are damaging the reputation of our Savior if we are known by His name … which I certainly hope we all are.

At the same time, we also need to be concerned for our demeanor within the church; the demeanor that we display toward each other. We will damage, or even destroy, out ability to correct others if we are not careful about our demeanor.

Are you known for betraying confidence? If so, you are not going to have people sharing their needs with you. Are you known for your joking behavior and flippant remarks? Then why would you expect someone to take you seriously when you try to approach them on a serious matter? Are you known for your snide and cutting remarks? Do you think that one of your brothers or sisters in the church will want to meet you for a private conversation? We always need to think about our behavior. Demeanor is crucial to our ability to engage in each other’s lives.

Yet, engage we must. We need correction so that we can become more Christlike.

Transition from body to conclusion:

We must correct one another with the right attitude and demeanor.

CONCLUSION

When I began playing the trombone in 5th grade, it was important that my instructor correct my puffing of the cheeks before it turned into a bad habit. I didn’t know it at the time, but such a habit would hinder by goal of learning to play the horn effectively. Fortunately, my instructor did know, and he went about correcting my thinking and my actions regarding how I blew into the horn.

In a similar fashion there are things that we need corrected in our spiritual lives. Paul sent Timothy to Ephesus to lead in the task of correcting things in that church. In our church God has placed us, you and I. Tonight, by looking at what Paul wrote to Timothy, we have extracted a general principle built upon three ideas that apply to our responsibility in our church.

We must correct one another with the right attitude and demeanor.

We must correct one another. We must correct one another with the right attitude. We must correct one another with the right attitude and demeanor.