Marriage and Divorce

Introduction

Last week we noticed in John 6 when Jesus taught about eating of His flesh and drinking of His blood how people reacted. Many found Jesus’ teachings to be too difficult and hard, so they forsook Christ and quit following Him that day.

What is interesting is in other teachings, Jesus Himself realizes that His teachings are difficult and people will have a hard time accepting them. Even the 12 apostles would admit the difficulties that Jesus was demanding of those who followed Him - Matthew 19:10-11

While the teachings of Jesus are not too hard for us to understand on an intellectual level, on a behavioral level, some of his teachings are tremendously hard. Especially when we run into very emotional and stressful situations involving those to whom we are close.

The Question about Divorce: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”

It is important to see the contrast between the Pharisees and Jesus.

The Pharisees presented a question to Jesus trying to trap Him - Matthew 19:3

They wanted to entrap Jesus in a theological blunder and put him at odds with everybody because no matter how He answered, someone would disagree with him.

The question they present is about whether or not divorce for any reason is permissible.

In Jesus’ day, there were two major schools of thought pertaining to divorce:

Josephus records that a husband could give his wife a certificate of divorce “for any cause whatsoever” and that “many such causes happen among men” (Josephus, Antiquities 4.8.23)

The Works of Josephus: New Updated Edition Chapter 8: The Polity Settled by Moses; and How He Disappeared from among Mankind

He that desires to be divorced from his wife for any cause whatsoever (and many such causes happen among men), let him in writing give assurance that he will never use her as his wife any more; for by this means she may be at liberty to marry another husband, although before this bill of divorce be given, she is not to be permitted so to do;

The school of Shammai, a conservative view in Jesus’ day, thought divorce could only be considered in cases of adultery.

The school of Hillel taught that divorce could be done for any reason that might have brought displeasure to the husband, e.g., public embarrassment, burning food, etc.

Addressing the Main Issue: Marriage

When Jesus was being cornered in a theological debate, He does not address them in the way they intended. He goes to the heart of their misunderstanding — marriage.

“Have you not read…?” - Matthew 19:4

If the people would esteem marriage as they ought, then they would not be trying to justify divorcing in the first place.

Jesus will give the grounds for an acceptable, scriptural divorce, but He knows that much of the debate concerning divorce is not for the purpose of finding the truth.

Jesus knows that people want to justify divorce and ending a marriage that they wanted to get out of in the first place.

So Jesus bypasses the debate and goes to the root of the problem.

Jesus appeals to the Scriptures for understanding marriage - Matthew 19:4-5; Genesis 2:24

Truth about marriage and divorce will not be based upon society’s practice

Truth about marriage and divorce will not be based on our favorite preachers and teachers

Truth about marriage and divorce will not be based upon what one church does versus another church

Truth about marriage and divorce will not be based upon what is most beneficial for our family members

The truth about marriage and divorce comes from the word of God!

Marriage is designed by God as a life-long relationship between a man and a woman - Matthew 19:5-6

One flesh = Sexual intimacy

A Reframing of the Original Question: “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

The Pharisees will not stop and consider what Jesus has said. They practically ignore Him and ask again about divorce.

Jesus addresses the reason that Moses provided instructions on how divorce must be handled. That reason? “Because of the hardness of heart” - Matthew 19:8

Christ refuses to be pulled into a theological squabble between two competing schools of thought.

He is telling them that these instructions about divorce were not designed to permit divorce and to normalize.

Moses provided these instructions because the people were going to do whatever they wanted to. Moses did not command divorce because he thought it was a good practice. He gave instructions on how it should be done and when it should be done since he could tell the people were going to divorce anyway.

Jesus’ Law on Divorce

Divorce is contrary to God’s design and plan for marriage. Period. It should not be done - Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9

The Bible teaches divorce is a practice that God hates - Malachi 2:16

Jesus says God’s rule is “do not divorce”

Nevertheless, there is one exception to this rule: when sexual immorality occurs - Matthew 19:9

When a husband/wife finds that their spouse has been unfaithful to the marriage vows and have committed adultery with another, that husband/wife may put their adulterous spouse away and divorce them.

Divorce for any other reason is sinful.

Therefore, any remarriage of a divorced person who did not have an authorized, scriptural reason for the divorce is in adultery - Matthew 19:9

That marriage between someone who has been divorced and remarried unscripturally “commits” (present tense) adultery.

Anyone who has divorced for a reason other than fornication should:

Remain unmarried and be a eunuch for the kingdom’s sake - Matthew 19:10-12

Marriage is a blessing and gift from God. As such, it should be honored in the way God wants it to be. If we do not live in a way that honors marriage as God desires, then we would be better off not being married.

Many people feel that Jesus is offering a punishment and making a requirement that is not placed upon other sins. That sort of view misunderstands Christ’s teaching and marriage altogether.

Marriage is not a requirement; it is a freedom and liberty. We do not have to be married to enter into heaven.

Some people can and must remain a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven - 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, especially v. 35

Be reconciled to their spouse that they have been vowed to - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Who may marry?

Single person who has never been married - 1 Corinthians 7:28 b

Widowed person whose spouse has died - 1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-3

Divorced person who put their spouse away for adultery - Matthew 19:9

Conclusion

Some of Jesus’ teachings are hard and He acknowledges that some will find it especially difficult - Matthew 19:11

Yet, when we believe Jesus and do what He says, our faith in Him is shown.

If we have not lived up to the standard of God’s law in marriage or in any other matter, there is grace and forgiveness if you will repent and come back to Christ.