A MOTHER’S MINISTRY

2 Timothy 1:3-7

I want to speak to you today about being a godly mother.  There are a couple of factors that make it difficult for me to speak on this subject; one of them is very obvious, the other one you may not have thought about before. The first reason it is difficult for me to speak on the subject of being a godly mother is that I am not a woman.  I never have been.  I never will be.  Nor do I want to be.  It is not a secret longing of mine to be a woman.  Therefore, everything I have to say, I say as an outsider. 

·         I don’t know what it feels like to have a husband. 

·         I do not know what it feels like to bear children, thank the Lord! 

·         I don’t know what it means to read and react to today’s information as a woman who desires to walk with God. 

So, admittedly, my speaking on the subject of being a godly mother is a little like me speaking to you about how to fly an airplane when I’ve never been in the cockpit.  I admit that, as a man, I don’t sit where you sit.  I do not feel what you feel.  And I wish, at times, I could more than I do.

The second factor that makes it difficult to address this topic is that I am not an authority on women.  In fact, I really only know one woman very well.  I have had numerous contacts with many women, maybe thousands, in my life and ministry.  I have talked with godly missionary wives.  I have talked to professional women.  I have talked to women who were adulteresses.  I have talked to women who were wives of men who were adulterers.  I have had a broad spectrum of conversations with women, but I am not an authority on the subject.  I am simply a man who loves God’s Word and I take great pleasure in helping people see what the bible is saying and how it is speaking to their lives.  And I want to speak to you today on the unique contributions that a mother makes in her home.

There is no more influential or powerful role on earth than a mother’s.  As significant as political, military, educational, or religious public figures may be, none can compare to the impact made by mothers.  Their words are never fully forgotten, their touch leaves an indelible impression, and the memory of their presence lasts a lifetime.  If you were blessed with a good mother, you will reap the benefits the rest of your days.  If your mother neglected your needs and failed to support your dad, unfortunately, much of what you suffered cannot be erased.  For good or ill, a mother’s mark is permanent.  Abraham Lincoln was right: “No one is poor who has a godly mother.”

There was a man in the first century that was blessed with a godly mother.  His name was Timothy.  We don’t hear much about his mother.  We read a lot about Timothy and a lot about Paul, his older friend and mentor.  These two men were so close that the elder sought the younger in his last few weeks on this earth.  Because of his unrelenting witness for Jesus Christ in a hostile world, Paul was thrown into a Roman dungeon.  Shortly before he was to be beheaded, he wrote Timothy a letter.  Second Timothy is dripping with nostalgia.  You can’t read it properly without putting yourself into a dungeon in Rome and feeling what it was like to be facing your last days.  Paul is old.  His life is spent.  He has finished his course.  And at times like that, when your life is spent and death is inevitable, you draw on your memory.  While thinking of their friendship, Paul reflects back on more pleasant times with Timothy.  2 Timothy 1:3 reads, “I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience the way my forefathers did, as I constantly remember you in my prayers.”  That’s what you do when you are alone.  You thank God.  You review your memories.  You pray a lot.  You even recall the tears of the past.  Verse 4, “Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.”  I find in that statement and those that follow several distinct contributions that a mother makes in her home.  The very first thing that Paul remembers about his friend Timothy is his tears.  Timothy had his mother to thank for that!

I.  AUTHENTIC TENDERNESS

Evidently there was something unique about the emotional sensitivity in Timothy's life.  His heart was tender.  He was not ashamed to weep openly.  He was like Jesus in that regard.  Jesus was the greatest leader of men that the world has ever seen.  Jesus wept at funerals.  Jesus knew what was in the heart of man.  Jesus was gentle with people.  The Bible says in the book of Hebrews, "We do not have a high Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses."  Timothy was like Jesus in that he was tender.  Why is it that tenderness is a quality that we value in our steaks, but not in our sons?  Why is it that tenderness is a quality that is disappearing from our society today. 

·         Maybe it's because the media has saturated us with so much violence that our feelings have been numbed. 

·         Maybe it's because the entertainment world has provided us with such vivid special effects that reality leaves us unmoved. 

Whatever the cause, we're becoming a callused, insensitive people.  We're numb.  We're hard.  We're too far from tears.  The bible says, "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any tenderness and compassion, then be like-minded." Let’s face it, dads.  Most of us learn tenderness from our children's mother. Boys and girls, likewise, learn tenderness from their mothers.  Isn’t it interesting that if had a chance to state what we learned from which parent, most of us wold say we learned tenderness from our mother and diligence from our dad.  From dad we discovered the value of the dollar, the necessity of hard work, the significance of honesty, the importance of standing alone when everything or everyone seems to turn against us; but we learned transparent tenderness from our mother. 

Moms, that’s one of your greatest contributions to the family.  Don’t lose your tenderness.  Those little hands that keep lifting up, keep looking for a mother’s tenderness, will always come back to you. Timothy found tenderness in his home, and that’s the first thing Paul remembers about him. He was man enough to shed tears.  "Timothy," Paul said, "I remember your tears.  I appreciate your likeness to Jesus.  And I long to be with you."

II. A SINCERE FAITH

But that’s not all.  Paul adds, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith..."  Now where did he get that?  "It first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." Paul knew Timothy’s heritage.  He knew this young man’s roots.  He knew about Grandma Lois and about Timothy’s mother, Eunice.  He realized the things, which characterized the grandmother and the mother, characterized Timothy.  John Stott wrote, “A good biography never begins with the subject, but with the parents and probably the grandparents as well.” 

The word Paul uses for sincere is a word that literally means, unhypocritical.  “As I think of you, Timothy,” Paul is saying, “ I think of a man who is unhypocritical in his Christian life.  You got that from your mom.  She got it from hers.”  It’s interesting that there’s no mention of a significant grandfather in Timothy’s past – or even of his father.  Just the maternal grandmother and mother. The second contribution that Timothy’s mother made in his life was a sincere faith.

Now, that mention of a grandmother ought to encourage some of you here today.  There is a special pride that comes when your children have children.  It's a special privilege to be a grandparent, but it's also a special responsibility.  Grandparents have the opportunity to plant the seed of faith in their grandchildren.  Jesus said,  “The Kingdom of heaven is like a man who planted a little seed of mustard in the ground.  It's the tiniest of all seeds.  But it grows up and becomes one of the largest of plants so that the birds can come and perch in its branches.”  And just a tiny seed of faith planted by a grandmother can produce significant results.  Grandmothers, even if you don’t live close, seek to plant seeds of faith. 

·         Make the effort to travel to be present for special days.  Your grandchildren make act as if they don't even know that you're there.  But it gives you a spirit of caring and credibility. 

·         Send them a card on birthdays and Christmas, and remind them that you are thinking about them and praying for them. 

·         Share some Christian literature with them. 

·         And when the opportunity arises, share your faith with them as well.  Talk about what a difference the Lord has made in your life.  Don't be obnoxious about your faith, but don't apologize for your faith either. 

I've read that an Egyptian tomb was opened and they found some grains of wheat that were over 3,000 years old.  And some of those grains were planted in the ground just to see what would happen.  And that seed grew and produced a harvest.  Some seed we sow lies dormant for along time.  But some day, maybe even after you are gone, it will fall into the crevice of a hard heart and produce a harvest.  I Peter 1:23 says, "We are born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable.  The living and enduring word of God."  So, grandparents, you work to plant the seed of God's word in the hearts of your grandchildren.

But the primary sower of faith in Timothy’s home was his mother:  "I am reminded of your sincere faith which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice."  Notice the faith "lived in his mother Eunice".  Eunice didn't just verbalize it she demonstrated it.  Your children are very perceptive.  They can tell whether you faith is genuine or not.  They are alert to how you handle pressure, what upsets you, what you think is funny, how honest you are on the phone, what your priorities are.  And all the lectures in the world are meaningless if they are not backed up by a pretty consistent lifestyle.  It doesn't mean you have to be perfect, mom, but there has to be a consistency here. 

Listen to me, grandmothers and moms. A church, a Christian school, a circle of Christian friends can deposit facts into heads.  But they cannot translate truth into authentic living.  They can’t make the truth real to your children.  Kids gather the facts. They learn them from the books.  They see it in print on the page.  But then they look to you to see it modeled into a sincere, unhypocritical kind of faith.  Believe me, we can give them the words to say, we can convey Christian concepts until we turn a deep shade of blue, but they won’t comprehend reality until they see the truth being authentically “fleshed-out” within the home.  So, let the truth be known in your home.  Talk truth.  Model truth for your kids.  You have a unique opportunity to put handles on God’s truth that your kids can grab.

III. INNER CONFIDENCE

One other contribution a mother makes in the home is helping her children develop inner confidence.  In his February newsletter, Dr. James Dobson wrote about a mother who was sick in bed with the flu.  Her darling little daughter wanted so much to be a good nurse.  She fluffed the pillows and brought a magazine for her mother to read.  And then she even showed up with a surprise cup of tea.  “Why, you’re such a sweetheart,” the mother said as she drank the tea.  “I didn’t know you even knew how to make tea.”

“Oh yes,” the little girl replied.  “I learned by watching you.  I put the tealeaves in the pan and then I put in the water, and I boiled it, and then I strained it into a cup.  But I couldn’t find the strainer, so I used the flyswatter instead.”

“You what?” the mother screamed.

And the little girl said, “Don’t worry mommy.  I didn’t use the new flyswatter.  I used the old one!”

Paul writes, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity..."  Experts in teen psychology are telling us that many young people are suffering from low self-esteem today even though they have more privileges today than in any previous generation.  They feel insecure and inadequate because our culture places great value on things like appearance, wealth, and athletic prowess.  And the standards are so high it is estimated that 90% of young people can never reach them.  If they're not built well, or not very talented, or rich they feel inferior.  Satan wants our children to feel inferior because they will be afraid of confronting him.  They will be easily intimidated and will pose little threat to his kingdom.  Paul insists, "We did not learn this feeling of inadequacy from God, we learned it from this world system. God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but He gave us a spirit of power, and love, and self-discipline."

As I looked over this passage, I saw several ways a mother can contribute to the confidence of her children.  One is, encourage your children in the areas of his/her giftedness.  Verse 6 says, "I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God which is in you."  God gives every person unique talents and gifts.  And a wise mother is very perceptive early, sensing the talents of her children. 

·         This boy is interested in computers. 

·         This girl has an ear for music. 

·         This boy has an appreciation for nature. 

·         This girl has a keen mind. 

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."  Now, we usually interpret that to mean "you teach a child to know God when he is little and when he is older, he'll be faithful.  Another possible interpretation of that is, "You train up a child in the area of his giftedness, or you encourage them in the area of their particular talents, or you train up that child in the way he/she should go...and when they are older they will be fulfilled and competent and confident and they will not depart from it." 

We also help establish confidence by teaching children to trust in God's power and not their own.  Paul says, "God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power."  Now, the world will try to teach your child that he/she has power in himself/herself.  "Believe in yourself.  Have confidence in yourself.  You can do anything you set your mind to."  That is not true. Every person has limitations.  A Christian mother teaches, "you can be confident of God's power with you."  Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  In ourselves, we are powerless.  Without God we can do nothing.  But if God be for us who can be against us?

Another way to instill confidence in your child is to practice unconditional love.  God has not given us a spirit of timidity, Paul says, "But he has given us a spirit of power and love..."  Now, biblical love is more than emotional sentimentality.  Biblical love means reaching out and doing something of the other person even if it means self-sacrifice.  A child needs that kind of unconditional love.  Now, let's be realistic.  Every mother's love has limits.  Every mother has those periods when her love is overtaxed.  We all lose it on occasion.  But a healthy dose of unconditional love produces confidence and security in our children.

And one other source of confidence is to develop self-discipline.  God has not given us a spirit of timidity or fear, but of power, love and self-discipline.  Now, discipline is the ability to say no when everyone else is saying yes, or vice versa.  A mother plants the seed of self-discipline in the Toddler when she says, "No, no!  Don't touch that!", and she means it.  It continues through childhood when she says, "Yes, you're going to bed at 9:00 o'clock whether you want to or not.".  And on into the teenage years, "Mow the grass.  Take out the garbage.  Clean up your room, even if you don't feel like it."  That kind of discipline develops a consistent standard that does not bend very far and it creates confidence, strangely enough, in the lives of our children.  Listen to these verses of Scripture. 

·         Proverbs 22:15, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." 

·         Proverbs 23:13, "Do not withhold discipline from the child.  If you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."  

·         Proverbs 29:15, "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." 

Now, there is a difference between discipline and punishment.  When we're angry we punish to get revenge.  That's the seed of child abuse and that's unforgivable.  But discipline occurs when we correct out of love.  It may involve spanking, but in the end it produces security, respect, confidence, and self-discipline.  I recently heard about a mother who had a wooden paddle hanging in the kitchen and over it was the inscription, "I need thee every hour.".  That is an exaggeration, but in order to bring confidence to the child, there has to be some discipline.

Before she died, the late Erma Bombeck wrote about her struggle to balance motherhood and her career.  “Nothing in our married lives would ever make such an impact as the arrival of our three children. The five of us would share the same diseases, same relatives and the same toothpaste.  We would rarely agree on anything.  We would slam the door in one another’s faces, tell lies to get what we wanted, comfort one another, hide food, and charge each other interest on money loaned.  We would chew one another’s gum.  Children changed my entire life.  I was no longer “Erma”, I was now somebody’s mother. 

There was a point where I wanted to return to my writing, but what if I tried and failed?  Then I would have nothing left to hang on to.  Maybe all I could do was mother.  I removed spots, scrubbed toilets, killed roaches, polished shoes, cleaned ears, planted flowers, blew up balloons, hustled food, kept the laundry moving, counseled, disciplined, listened, mediated disputes, answered phones, transmitted messages, volunteered, cut toenails, and enforced the house rules.  I knew all the words to the Mousketeers’ theme song.  Some resume!  And yet, why did I feel so fulfilled when I bedded down three kids between clean sheets?  What if raising and instilling values in three children and turning them into worthwhile human beings would be the most important contribution I ever made in my lifetime?  And if this were true, then how come someone didn’t tell me?”

Let me tell you something, mothers, you are making the most important contribution of your lifetime.  Don’t ever forget that the imprint you are making in your children’s lives is permanent.  The kids may seem ungrateful, they may act irresponsible, and they may even ignore your reminders and forget your advice.  But believe this: they cannot erase your influence.  You be the model of transparent tenderness, authentic faith and inner confidence for your children.  Those are the unique contributions you can add to their lives.

Now, this morning, we’re going to sing a hymn of invitation giving you the opportunity to respond to the unconditional love of God.  Somebody in your life, perhaps a mother, has planted the seed of faith and it's been growing.  And now it's time to bring the harvest, and for you to respond to Jesus Christ.  And you can respond this morning by walking forward and saying, "I want to give my life to Jesus Christ, I want to confess Him publicly.  I want to be baptized into him.”  Or, if you are already an immersed believer and you are looking for a church home, we invite you to come forward and confess your faith and become a part of this church family.  Whatever your decision, we invite you to decide right now as we stand and sing...