Eccl 4_7-12
You can buy a t-shirt online that says It is all about me! And many in the world today agree.
There’s evidence of this all around us.
· We are living in a time when people are getting married later because they say they want to have “fun” first.
· Even when married they insist on their “me” time.
· People rarely volunteer anymore.
· Another sign of living for self is when people don’t commit themselves to the church. They don’t want to be tied down. They want to be free to come and go as they please.
Is this independence all it’s cracked up to be? More importantly is this how God wants His people to live?
This is an issue that the preacher sets out to explore in Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 (READ).
This passage divides into two sections. First we see the Poverty of Isolation and then the Riches of relationships.
I. The Poverty of Isolation is seen in verses 7-8
Right away in verse 7 Solomon lets us know what he thinks about the situation before us. Again, I saw vanity under the sun: He has made some observations and he says “here is another example of emptiness and meaninglessness in life.”
A. He points us to a man who is isolated from other people.
8 one person who has no other, either son or brother, This man has no wife, no business partner, no friends and no close relatives.
· Warren Weirsbe calls him the Independent Man.
· Delitzsch calls him the Isolated Man. Both are good descriptions.
Sometimes in God’s providence you might find yourself in a situation where you’re all alone but for this man it seems to be by choice. Solomon is not looking on him in sympathy. He has already said that this man’s lifestyle is an example of vanity.
B. Solomon describes him as a man obsessed with his career. v.8 yet there is no end to all his toil, His work takes first place in his life. He has no time for people because he’s too busy working. Work has become an end in itself.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be a hard worker. The Bible does teach a strong work ethic.
· Ephesians 6:6 says we are to do our work as to the Lord.
· Colossians 3:22 We are not to slack off when the boss is not around.
· Proverbs s full of warnings against laziness
· Paul told the Thessalonians that those who refuse to work should not receive help from the church.
At the same time we are not to let work cause us to neglect the other responsibilities that God has given us.
We have obligations to the Lord that have a higher priority than advancing a career.
(ILL) If taking a better job means you won’t be able to go to church than you have a
serious choice to make.
We also have family obligations that take precedence over a higher wage. (ILL) A father is to train up his children in the ways of the Lord. That cannot be done if you are working 70 hours a week.
If you are so busy at work that you can never serve other people then something is wrong. Q: You have to ask yourself has work to become an end in itself?
C. As Solomon describes this man we can see that he is obsessed with money.
v. 8 and his eyes are never satisfied with riches. Here is a guy who never has enough. It could be that he’s alone so that he won’t have to share his wealth with anyone else.
He is so preoccupied with work and money that he never even stops to ask the question in verse 8 “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” If he did he might realise the poverty of his situation.
D. Living for self leads to a lack of joy.
In verse 8 Solomon says This also is vanity and an unhappy business. This is the second time he calls this situation vanity.
(ILL) Solomon is describing a man like Ebenezer Scrooge. He is working hard and making lots of money but He is unhappy and really poor. He has convinced himself that he doesn’t need anybody but the one who created him says the opposite.
· In Genesis 2:18 the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone;
· Proverbs 18:1 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.
Are relationships hard work? Are they costly at times? Yes they are, but pursuing them enriches your life. It is God’s will that you develop relationships.
II. Some of the Riches of relationships are seen in verses 9-12
Solomon starts this section by declaring that Two are better than one, We haven’t heard too many positive statements from Solomon in this book so we better sit up and listen when he does. He makes this statement and then he gives 4 proofs.
A. In verse 9 he says two are better than one . . . because they have a good reward for their toil.
(ILL) One night I was here in the church painting with Kevin. On my own I would have finished half of one of these walls but together we finished the whole room.
Two people get more than twice the amount of work done because they encourage and spur one another on.
There’s an old Jewish saying that goes: A man without a companion is like a left hand without the right. Whether it’s a husband and wife team, or a group of church members we can get more work done working together than working in isolation from one another.
B. In verse 10 Solomon says with two there is help available.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
The picture here is of someone on a journey who falls into a ravine or off a cliff. On his own he would be helpless but if he has a friend there is assistance.
The principle here is that relationships provide help in times of trouble.
1. Sometimes the help comes in the form of counsel. Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
2. Sometimes it’s financial help. In Acts 2:45 it says the Christians were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.
3. Galatians 6 shows how relationships can provide spiritual help. Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. (Gal 6:1)
If you cut yourself off from your brothers and sisters in Christ you are like the man heading out on a dangerous journey alone. You might be OK for awhile but you will eventually come upon a situation where you need help.
C. The comfort we receive is another benefit of relationships.
11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
This may be referring to marriage but more likely it’s a picture of two people on a journey. They sleep back to back in order to keep each other warm through the cold desert nights.
This picture can be expanded to include any comfort we get from relationships.
· In Philippians 4 Paul said it was kind of you to share my trouble.
· Rom 12:15 shows how we can give comfort by Rejoicing with those who rejoice; and mourning with those who mourn.
· In 2 Corinthians 13:11 Paul said Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for
restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and
the God of love and peace will be with you.
(ILL) I’m so grateful that in the few tough times in my life the Lord comforted me directly and through those I had relationships with.
D. Solomon also mentions protection as a benefit of relationships.
12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him
Taking a journey in Solomon’s day was dangerous. Once you got outside the walled cities there were wild animals and bandits to contend with. A lone traveller was an easy target. But if there were two or more that would be a different story. Even today we have the saying “There’s safety in numbers”
(ILL) One of the privileges of being part of a church is that there are people praying for you. There are leaders who keep watch over your soul.
Why do we need this?
· Because 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that our adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
· Jesus warned us in Mt 24:11 that many false prophets will arise and lead many astray.
Solomon shows how two are better than one and then he tops it off by saying —a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
(ILL) This last phrase has been used to describe marriage as a union between a man and a women and the Lord.
Jesus did say in Matthew 19: 4-6 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
But marriage is just one application. The main point is that the Lord enriches our lives through relationships. They are worth pursuing not only for the benefits we receive but for the service we can render to others.
III. Applications
There are four relationships I want to apply this passage to.
A. The first is our relationship with the Lord – The Lord Jesus is the friend who will stick closer than a brother. Only the Lord Jesus can make the promise we find in Heb 13:5 “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
And yet many live in isolation from the Lord. In my experience it’s usually sin or laziness that weakens our relationship with the Lord.
· We know that sin always hurts relationships so deal with it quickly by confessing it and seeking forgiveness from the Lord. Confession is the first step in coming close to the Lord.
· We also need to discipline ourselves to work on our relationship with the Lord every day. Relationships deepen as we spend time with each other. The same is true in our relationship with the Lord.
Speak to Him often in prayer.
Listen to Him by reading his Word.
As your relationship with the Lord deepens you will experience more of His comfort, grace and protection in your life.
B. We can apply this to Marriage – Marriage is the closest human relationship possible between a man and a woman. Jesus said what God has joined together man ought not to separate.
That puts a responsibility on the husband and the wife to maintain this special relationship. We can do this by working together, helping one another, comforting each other and protecting each other from harm.
C. The next relationship is with your family – One reason God designed the family was to keep us from being lonely. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the lonely in families,
If God has placed you in a family then you have a responsibility to maintain those relationships.
If you are a child or a teenager that means not hiding in your room and living for yourself. Ask the Lord to help you benefit your family. Look for opportunities to help and serve those around you.
I think fathers also have a tendency to live for themselves and to put their own interests before those of their family. It ought not to be like that. Fathers should be models of selflessness.
D. Then there’s the relationships in the Church - You’ll notice that marriage, families and the church are all God’s idea. He wants us in relationships.
God never called for monasteries where people isolate themselves from the world and from one another. Let’s think about verses 9-12 and see how they apply to church life.
· Verse 9. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil.
They say that 90% of the work of the church is done by 10% of the people. It ought not to be that way. We ought to all work together and trust the Lord to bring a good reward for our toil.
· Verse 10 says For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. In Galatians 6:2 Paul says it like this Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. John said Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1Jo 3:18
If you are aware of someone who needs physical or spiritual help in the church then come to their aid. Someone else may not see the need and we don’t want to be a church where people can’t find help when they need it.
· Verse 11 spoke about bringing comfort and again this is all of our responsibility. Hebrews 10 said as a church we are to encourage one another.
In fact the New Testament is full of one another’s.
§ Love one another (I Jn 3:11) ,
§ show hospitality to one another (1 Pet 4:9) ,
§ exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13),
§ do good to one another (1 Thess 5:15).
· Then verse 12 told us that relationships provide protection from the enemy.
· In the context of the church we can apply this by praying for one another.
· We can pass warnings about false teachers.
· There might even be times when we have to tell a brother or sister that they are heading in the wrong direction.
Today the Lord has used Solomon to challenge our tendency to live for ourselves. We have seen there that is poverty in living for self but great riches when we pursue a relationship with our God and the people He brings into our lives.
Let’s pray.