David's Children

Love / Hate Relationship

Amnon had a unhealthy crush on his half sister Tamar. It was so unhealthy that it made him physically sick. He desired something that he couldn’t have that saddened him to the point of depression and sickness. It was so noticeable that Jonadab inquired why he looked so sad all the time. After all, he was the kings son. He had everything that he could want as the kings son. The only thing that he couldn’t have was the very thing that he wanted.

We see this true in David’s life. He wanted Bathsheba but couldn’t have her because she was married to Uriah. That didn’t matter to David. He took action to get what he wanted and ended up in trouble. Bathsheba became pregnant by David so he had to cover it up. He tried to get Uriah to sleep with his wife, he tried to get him drunk, and eventually had him killed. David took extreme measures to get what he wanted.

It should be no surprise that we see David’s son Amnon behaving the same way he did. Amnon tricked Tamar into coming to his room and he raped her. Obviously this is an extreme measure.

Desiring things that God does not want us to have is the beginning of sin.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from [a]any tree of the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” 4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5 For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves [b]loin coverings. Gen. 3:1-7

There are things in this life that are not good for us, but we want them all the more. Materially speaking we will desire something we can’t afford. We will put it on credit. Relationaly speaking, people will do something they know to be wrong to try to preserve a relationship. Physically speaking, we will want something that is harmful to us but take it and pay the consequences for it. What Satan offers in way of temptation will always cost you more than the satisfaction of what is tempting you.

God always knows what is best for you and is willing and wanting to give it to you in His time. We must trust Him.

After Amnon rapes Tamar he kicks her out of his presence. But now he has a problem. She has put ashes on her head and torn the sleeves of her garment. This is indicative of her virginity being taken. She runs to her full brother Absalom for refuge and shares every thing that Amnon did.

The Bible says that Amnon hated Tamar worse than he loved her after he violated her. This was the price for his sin. He would have to live with hate towards his sister.

Why is it that when we have sinned against someone we develop a dislike for them? Could it be that we are mad at ourselves and take it out on them? Could it be that they pose a threat to us for what we have done?

The Murder Of A Brother

Absalom hated his brother Amnon for what he did to his sister. He hid his hate so he could exact revenge. The Bible says that after two years of the rape Absalom begins the plot to exercise his emotion of hate towards his brother.

He comes to his father and asks if Amnon can join him on a journey. I find it interesting that David asks the question why Absalom wants Amnon to go on the journey. The Bible doesn’t give us the reason Absalom gives, it just says that Absalom urged David to send Amnon. David gave in and sent him.

Once Amnon was on the journey Absalom began his revenge. He told the servants to kill Amnon at his command. The servants did as Absalom commanded.

Now, as does today, a false report went out to David. The report was that Absalom had killed all of David’s sons. David mourned when he heard the news. Now Jonadab brings a better report to David. he tells him that only Amnon has been killed, not all of his sons. I find it interesting that all this began with Jonadab giving Amnon poor council. It seems as if Jonadab is posturing himself for elevation in David’s kingdom. This is politics at its finest!

What Absalom had done was punishable by death. He could not flee to a city of refuge to protect him. He fled to a kingdom outside the reign of his father. He stayed there for three years.

Absalom hid his hatred for 2 years and then killed him. This shows the growing nature of anger and hatred. Let’s discuss how to overcome hatred.

The Heart Of A Father

In spite of the dysfunction of David’s kids, he loved them in spite of what they did. When Amnon did to Tamar what he did, he still loved him. We know this because he mourned his death at the hands of Absalom. WE know that he loved Absalom when he killed Amnon. We see this in verse 39. He wanted to go out to Absalom and see him and let him know that he was loved.

We have a Father that loves us the same way. In spite of what we do He loves us. When we mess up, his heart goes out to us. He wants us to know that we are loved. Tell story about drug addict that thought God stopped loving him for his DUI.