RELATIONSHIP RULES

Colossians  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  48:30
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I. HUSBANDS AND WIVES

Colossians 3:18–19 ESV
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Colossians and Philemon 4. The Lordship of Christ in Earthly Relationships (3:18–4:1)

To “submit” is to recognize a relationship of order established by God. But submission to any human is always conditioned by the ultimate submission that each believer owes to God: in any hierarchy we can imagine, God stands at the “top of the chart.” This means, then, that a wife will sometimes have to disobey a husband (even a Christian one) if that husband commands her to do something contrary to God’s will. Even as she disobeys, however, she can continue to “submit,” in a sense, by recognizing that her husband remains her head—just not her ultimate head.

Colossians 3:19 ESV
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Mark 10:42–45 ESV
42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Colossians and Philemon 4. The Lordship of Christ in Earthly Relationships (3:18–4:1)

Perhaps this pattern reflects the particular susceptibilities of each partner in the relationship: wives may be tempted to chafe under the “headship” of their husbands; and husbands are prone to abuse their leadership role. Whatever the explanation, the command that husbands love their wives introduces a somewhat revolutionary note of reciprocity that is a hallmark of this household code.

II. PARENTS AND CHILDREN

Colossians 3:20–21 ESV
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Exodus 20:12 ESV
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

III. SERVANTS AND MASTERS

Colossians 3:22–4:1 ESV
22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. 1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

To understand NT texts mentioning slavery, one must keep in mind major factors that distinguish first-century slavery from that later practiced in the New World. (1) Race differences played no role, and an enslaved person generally could not be distinguished by appearance. (2) Education was encouraged and enhanced a slave’s value (some slaves were better educated than their owners). (3) Many slaves functioned in sensitive and highly responsible positions (see Phil. 4:22: “those of the emperor’s household,” some of whom were Christians). (4) Persons sometimes sold themselves into slavery to escape poverty, pay debts, climb socially, and obtain special jobs. (5) Slaves could control property (including owning their own slaves). (6) Slaves’ cultural and religious traditions were largely those of the free. (7) No laws prevented public assemblies of slaves. And (8) the majority of urban and domestic slaves could anticipate being set free (manumitted) by age thirty, becoming “freedmen” or “freedwomen” (1 Cor. 7:21–23; Acts 6:9).

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