2020.10.25 Relationships: Rotting, Rotten or RIGHT Blindspots

- Quick commercial invite for The Gathering

Voice over for friendships

coming apart discard

“In life, we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.”

“A fake friend likes to see you do well, but not better than them.”

“A true friend cares about what’s going on in your life. A fake friend makes their problems sound bigger.”

“Fake friends are like shadows: they follow you in the sun but leave you in the dark.”

“Bad friends will prevent you from having good friends.”

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.”

“Bad friends are like paper cuts, both are annoyingly painful and make you wish you were more careful.”

“True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.”

“Friendship is every day, not just when it’s convenient to someone.”

Truth be told these quotes can not only apply to friends but maybe family members, how about church members? Sorrors/Frat? Even fellow Kingdom citizens

Proverbs 17:17 NKJV

17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:6 NKJV

6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 13:20 NKJV

20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.

Proverbs 16:28 NKJV

28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

We’ve been talking about what COVID has come to expose. I want to suggest that some of your relationships need to be re-evaluated recategorized or removed from your life. Said another some of your relationships are Righteous, Rotting or Rotten

My guess is that they weren’t healthy before COVID.

Observations

Just because you are a friend, it doesn’t mean it’s permanent

There are types of friends

a general friend

a friend that’s like a brother c

don’t qualify.

A brother from another mother

“remaining in close relationship by being faithful.” 18:24

last names don’t make you family

different parents don’t disqualify brothers/sisters “sister from another mister

friend n. — a person you know well and regard with affection and trust.

WARNING: Stop labeling what doesn’t meet the criteria

WARNING: Your heart will categorize the right person the wrong way.

Just think back through past 7 months, has shown their true colors?

“When people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou.

Ill: I didn’t have a car. Someone that I thought was a friend, knew why i didn’t have a car. To make matters worse, when i got a car, they didn’t celebrate that things had changed.

Preparing for this I see why some relationships have hurt more than others.

I was invested in them more than I should’ve

I held on past the expiration date

I didn’t nurture them well

I allowed them to take me for granted

I realized that I took them for granted

They didn’t deserve what I brought to the table

There was no sequencing - I pay tonight you pay tomorrow

I gave them 1 too many chances

I used what I had to get what I wanted

I ignored toxic behaviors

It’s up to you to determine which bucket do your relationships belong in…rotting or rotten or right

Rotting

You can determine a rotting relationship based on how people honor or dishonor you.

Genesis 13:8–12 NKJV

8 So Abram said to Lot, “Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left.” 10 And Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere (before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah) like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt as you go toward Zoar. 11 Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated from each other. 12 Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom.

ex. Lloyd/Tim always expecting you to pick up the tab

“Bad friends will prevent you from having good friends.”

Just because it’s over, doesn’t mean you don’t have a responsibility. You’ve

Genesis 13:11–13 NKJV

11 Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated from each other. 12 Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom. 13 But the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord.

While Lot is playing in the dens of the wicked, Abraham is hearing from God.

Right/Righteous

There’s a difference in right and righteous!

I want you to tread cautiously. All the friends that qualify to be tagged as “righteous” don’t qualify for the forever bucket.

Gen 18, Abe starts interceding for Lot

Genesis 19:29 NKJV

29 And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt.

Righteous relationships end when the assignment is done

Close

Biggest take away is: hold everybody loosely. Not made out of pride, not gaurded you’re just a steward.

Lexham Theological Wordbook Stewardship

The steward was a household servant who managed the household affairs for the head of the family (usually the father but sometimes the mother; Winter, “Roman Wives,” 148). Managing the family involved delegation, discipline, encouragement, and, most important, accountability to the head of the household.