Marriage

Mutually demeaning, tearing at each other’s self-esteem.

Young adults looking at how their home was, and saying “anything but that!” find an alternative to marriage.

People get married with nothing…an emotional decision. Thin foundation for marriage.

Ill. Fox-marry a millionaire. Brad Pitt’s wedding vows.

Gimmicks are ok…date nights, love letters, etc….but the key, the secret truly is Jesus as the foundation.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Wrong picture of Chrisitian marriage. Woman flits around with no personality, no opinion, “Your job is to shut up and submit, my job is to rule and to lead.”

No secret to an easy marriage…no such thing.

Do not look at this passage through our cultural eyeglasses.

Wives..Go through Eph…what is the relationship of the church to Christ.

i.e….

Eph. 1 Church praises Jesus. Do my words encourage my husband? Or do my words cut him down or belittle him? “Well my husband is a jerk, what do you want me to do?” 5:21 not because he is necessarily worthy…do it as unto the Lord.

Husbands your love should be as Christ’s. He doesn’t remind us of our responsibilities, He doesn’t dominate. Love her until it kills you! V.25

This teaching is just for Christians, because you cannot deny yourself apart from Christ, you just can’t.

Husbands look through entire NT for pattern of loving the church

Heb. Interceding all the time. Husbands do you intercede for your wife constantly. “bless her, encourage her heart, make her yoke light, fill her.” Self-denial means…clean a pot, get the baby…serve her! You want the place of honor…you want to be a ruler…in the kingdom of God that means that the least is the greatest…the servant…the one who denies themselves and their desires the most.

*Husbands – here is a test. Over the years of living with you…what is your wife becoming like? Freer, holy, more confident, more warm, more full of joy, etc.

“My wife isn’t the same as when we got married” what kind of environment have I provided …someone who lives in an environment of blessing and encouragement will flourish.

Head=source not ruler.

Great marriages are not just union of bodies, but of souls. It shouldn’t be as you get older find your separate hobbies, build your walls, live in the same house but miles apart…that is not what God intends.