How’s Your Speech, Christian?

Please open up your Bibles to Proverbs 12. I’ll be preaching from a single verse in Ephesians 4 tonight, but by way of introduction I’d like to look at Proverbs 12:18. I encourage you to follow along as we seek to understand this verse. Let me read it for us from the ESV:

18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

As with most proverbs written down in God’s word, this one is short and packs a punch, if we’ll only take the time to meditate on what it says.

Let’s begin by seeking to understand what this particular proverb means.

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, …” The verse is speaking about a general person. A man, a woman, a boy, or a girl. They are communicating with their voice. They are speaking words. As human beings who have been fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image, we are generally people who speak to communicate ideas. A wife speaks to her husband. A father speaks to his son. A brother speaks to his sister. Some people speak more than others. This proverb is focused on a particular quality of speech, rather than the quantity.

Note the adjective used to describe this person’s speech. They are speaking “rash” words. This word carries the meaning of “reckless.” When we do things “rashly” they are done without thought.

There is one whose (rash, careless, thoughtless) words are like sword thrusts. Here is a simile which helps us picture the rash words as sword thrusts. The type of sword understood by ancient readers of this proverb would be a short, sharp weapon used for close-quarter combat. It would be used to slash and thrust at an opponent in battle, with the goal of causing great harm, even death, to an opponent. Cutting and slashing is what a person was attempting to do when he wielded this sword.

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts” – we can probably draw this picture in our mind’s eye: someone speaking rashly – without much diligent thought about what is spewing from their mouth – which is cutting and slashing the person or people hearing those careless words. That type of speech is destructive and ungodly.

The proverb continues with a contrast: “But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Instead of “words” we see “tongue” used to express the person’s speech.

Note two important points of contrast here: the “rash” speaker is being contrasted with someone who is “wise”; and the words like sword thrusts are being contrasted to words that bring healing.

A wise person gives thought to what they do and say. The godly, wise person considers “How would I speak to best glorify God?” We could rightly conclude from our proverb that to speak in a way that brings healing would be more honouring to God. Speech which sooths and promotes healing and growth is speech that honours God.

As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, I’d like us to consider how we speak tonight. I have one main point to make in light of what Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:29: salvation from God’s wrath ought to produce in us godly speech. This gave rise to the title of tonight’s sermon, “Hows your speech, Christian?” Let’s examine our speech in the light of God’s word. I want us to see that our position in Christ results in a change in the way we speak to one another.

Turn with me to Ephesians 4. Verse 29 says:

“29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

We’ll recall that Paul was writing to believers at Ephesus. Many of the original readers and hearers of the letter were Gentiles. In the culture of the day, the Gentiles would have been regarded by the Jews as completely unworthy of being saved. What part did they have in the grace of God? Before God saved them, they were spiritually dead, happily walking in their trespasses and sins. They were following the course of this world, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, by nature children of wrath. They were content to walk in habitual sin, heaping up God’s wrath on themselves because of their wanton disregard of anything to do with godliness. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved them, even when they were dead in their trespasses, made them alive together with Christ. God caused these hell-bound unbelievers to be born again by His great grace.

Do we share that experience with the believers at Ephesus this evening? Have we been born again by God’s grace? Has God shown us abundant mercy, and made us alive together with Christ? Have we been brought to the place where we recognize that we have sinned against a holy God in heaven and cast ourselves on God’s mercy for salvation from His wrath? Have we had a saving encounter with the risen Lord, as they did? Is Jesus Christ our own personal Saviour this evening?

If we answered “yes”, then Paul’s command in Ephesians 4:29 is applicable to us today as it was in the first century.

Our verse is a command to do something in light of the fact that we have been saved by grace. I want to be careful to point out that the command is to be obeyed in recognition of the fact that we have been saved, rather than being obeyed as a means to be saved. We’re saved by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ. In order to stand before God and not be condemned for our sins against Him on judgement day, we need to perfectly righteous in His sight. Anything less than a perfect record before God will result in our being punished for eternity in a very real place called hell. Our previous episodes of wicked, impatient, rash, perhaps cuttingly sarcastic speech towards others prove us to be far from righteous, do they not? Who dares make the claim that their speech has been permanently perfect? We need perfect righteousness in order to stand before God. This can only come from God’s gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus lived a perfect life. His speech was never sinful. Not once did a sinful word come from His mouth. He may have been tempted to utter a rash word, but no!, He was perfect. Never a rash word came from His mouth. The apostle Peter tells us in 1 Peter 2:23 that even while He was being reviled in the lead up to, and during His crucifixion, He didn’t revile. He asked His Father to forgive those who hurled insults at Him, who beat Him, who nailed Him to the cross: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!” (Luke 23:34) What grace! What compassion! Even as He was being brutalized and condemned for our sins, He spoke without sin!

Why was He crucified? To bear the full weight of God’s eternal wrath which should be poured out on those with sinful speech. While we – those with wicked tongues and throats like open graves – were sinning against God, Christ died on the cross absorbing the wrath that we should have received.

But we were saved, by believing that Christ’s perfect life, substitutionary death on the cross, and glorious resurrection is fully sufficient to secure our salvation from God’s wrath. By faith, we received the forgiveness of our sins and the removal of our guilt and shame. We also received the perfect record of Jesus’ sinless life on our account, as our sin was placed on His. As One who spoke without a trace of sin, Jesus is the only suitable sin-bearing substitute for us. “For our sake [God] made [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

As we consider the broader context of Paul’s command in Ephesians 4:29, look back with me at verses 17 to 24. This passage forms the start of a new section of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, which the ESV helpfully labels as “The New Life.”

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Our thoughts, words, and actions are to be reflective of the newness of life to which God has called us in Christ. We have learned Christ. We have heard about Christ. By God’s grace we have come to believe that Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom we are foremost. We have obeyed the command of Christ to repent of our sins – even our sinful speech – and to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow Him. We have been created after the likeness of God in righteousness and holiness.

God is gracious. He is patient. He is slow to anger. His Spirit and His word encourage us. God is for us and He intends that we would be built up into Christlikeness. Our speech then should follow the pattern of God’s righteousness, holiness, and His grace. This is the point that Paul is trying to make from Ephesians 4:29.

The word of God, then, says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths…” When we think of the word “corrupting” we might find it helpful to think of a bowl of fruit. When one piece of fruit begins to decay because of mold, the whole bowl eventually succumbs. The once-luscious display of sweet and health-giving fruit has become a decayed pile of waste. Death has spread to every piece of fruit. It has become “corrupted” because of the corrupting influence of mold. The word “corrupting” is used here to describe the type of speech that should not come out of the mouth of a born again believer: speech that has a rotting or destructive effect on the hearer.

Think back to Proverbs 12:18 again. One form of speech was life-giving, whereas the other was destructive. One gave life, the other was likened to a thrusting sword which took life away when it was jabbed and slashed at another person.

What might such corrupting speech look or sound like?

Paul will command us in Ephesians 4:30-31 to “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you.” Slander and gossip… these by nature destroy the character of those about whom we speak. It is not difficult to imagine the corrupting effect of our slander and gossip as it spreads like gangrene through a congregation or a workplace.

The apostle James described our tongues as being “set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” (James 3:6-9) If I might echo James: “My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so!”

What about speech that picks away at someone’s dignity and confidence? They just can’t seem to do anything right – at least that’s the way it seems from the ungrateful, unsupportive, and unkind remarks they receive. They hear words that are far from encouraging. These words tear down a person’s character. Our words can and do lead to lasting, emotional harm. There is a way to be constructive as we speak: “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, …” (Proverbs 15:4).

Curse words are forbidden for the Christian who is called to walk in newness of life. Those are definitely equated with talk that corrupts. Paul will command against the use of filthy, foolish, and crude talk in Ephesians 5:4 when he addresses sexual immorality.

Perhaps we would speak with a terse tone, one which communicates our desire that a person would just leave us alone. “What do you want?” sounds a lot like we would rather them perish away from us, than us regard them patiently and lovingly, to reflect God’s patience and love. Jesus equates that angry tone with murder in our hearts. The Word of God gives us a better way to communicate the fact that we’re busy or tired at that moment: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)

Rather than being corrupting, our speech is to build up. Look back at Ephesians 4:29.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Christian speech is edifying. It encourages people, building them up, promoting their spiritual growth. It also fits the occasion.

Note the implication here that there are times that our speech – as godly as it might be in content – may not fit the occasion. Is the occasion one of joy? Then rejoice with those who rejoice! Is it a time for sorrowful compassion? Then let us speak carefully to comfort. “Would silence be better?” I trust I am not the only one to have discovered after the fact that to say nothing would have been better than letting words fly, even as an honest attempt to help. “The tongue of the wise brings healing.” We need to give careful thought to the use of our words.

Look at our verse again. Paul gives a reason for us to be speaking in a way that is good for building up, and fitting for the occasion: “[so] that it may give grace to those who hear.” Godly speech will ensure that those who hear it will receive grace, as we have received grace from God.

Bryan Chapell says in his commentary on Ephesians, “Our words are an instrument of God’s grace toward others by which his own nature is known and shared. Literally the apostle says we are to speak so as to “give grace to the hearers” (Eph. 4:29d). Thus we are to speak only what builds up and benefits others because our lives are not our own but are meant to show forth the One who indwells us.”[1] Remember that we have been created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24).

John Philips agrees with what we have said, and adds a point of application for us so that we can practice at home: “The conversation of Christians should be edifying and directed toward the spiritual welfare of others. Our speech should be marked by grace. Yet rare is the dinner table where conversation promotes godliness. Our guests should leave more edified, uplifted, and ennobled than they were when they came. Surely we should cultivate the habit of wholesome and enriching conversation.”[2]

As believers here tonight, we ought to think on how we might cultivate an environment in our homes and workplaces, so as to speak with the “spiritual welfare” of others in mind. May God give us wisdom to do so.

Do we ever meditate on why do we say the things we do? Perhaps we’re already aware of a sinful propensity to harm others by the way we speak. But what is going on inside of us when that happens?

Look with me at Matthew 12:33-37. Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees in this passage. He makes an extremely important diagnostic connection for us between our speech, and what is going on in our hearts. We can always rely on our Great Physician to diagnose the issues with our heart.

33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Jesus teaches us that we speak as our hearts overflow. May I also suggest to us as 21st Century Christians that while we communicate frequently by speech, we also communicate electronically? Our fingers and thumbs may well be used just as frequently as our lips to communicate in 2019. Our fingers also operate out of the overflow of our hearts.

If our hearts are full of bitterness, then we can expect bitter speech. An angry heart is likely to overflow with rash words which are like sword thrusts when they are read in an e-mail or a text message. If our hearts are so consumed with our plans for the moment that an innocent interruption triggers in us a cutting remark, then the wickedness in our heart has been put on display. But if our hearts are enraptured with how God shows His love to us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, then I believe the Bible teaches that our speech would be rather different. If we filled our hearts with the “good treasure” of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the fact that we have been created after the likeness of God, then our speech will become increasingly gracious and edifying. We would be transformed by the renewing of our minds as we meditated on the great truths of the gospel but we need to be exposing ourselves to what is written in our Bibles if we are to be renewed in such a way. God’s Spirit will use the Word of God hidden in our hearts to guide our speech as we make the choice to walk by the Spirit in obedience to God.

As we conclude, let us be very aware of our Lord’s warning that we will give an account for every careless word we speak. If we are believers here this evening, then we need to remember that salvation has been granted to us. There is now no condemnation for those who have trusted Jesus Christ for the salvation of their souls. We have an invitation to approach God’s throne with confidence so that we might freely confess our sinful speech to Him and repent of it in the knowledge that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness… The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin.” Let us confess our sinful speech to Him, and be assured of our pardon: He is faithful and just to forgive us. He’ll do what He has promised! Let us also confess our sinful speech to those we have hurt, seeking also their forgiveness. Then, “Let no corrupting talk come out of [our] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Let us commit to speaking with grace, to reflect our new nature as children of God. What a testimony we could be for Christ if we wisely chose our tone, our words, and our timing, when exercising our tongues.

A word to those listening who have not repented of their sins: heed the warning of Christ this evening. You’ll give an account for every word. Humble yourself and consider that Jesus Christ willingly went to the cross to pay the penalty for every wicked word you have ever said, and ever will say. He is able to take God’s wrath for you as your sinless substitute. He never spoke a sinful word. Through faith in Him alone you’ll be forgiven your sins and your guilt before God will be taken away. You’ll be granted the same power that caused Jesus to be resurrected from the dead, and you’ll receive abundant grace to overcome the powerful and harmful corrupting speech that is currently storing wrath up for you if you are not saved. Trust in Jesus for salvation, run to Him and be saved this evening! He stands ready to forgive and commands you to repent and believe as you hear this, don’t harden your heart! Today is the day of salvation.

Let’s pray as we close:

1 O Lord, I call upon you; hasten to me!

Give ear to my voice when I call to you!

2 Let my prayer be counted as incense before you,

and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice!

3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;

keep watch over the door of my lips!

(Psalm 141:1-3)

[1] Bryan Chapell, Reformed Expository Commentary (Ephesians)

[2] John Philips, John Philips Commentary Series (Ephesians)