Taking 'Me' Out the Equation

INTRODUCTION

On Monday we celebrated Charlotte and Norah’s 3rd birthday. In the morning, I went to get balloons from the dollar store. There was a cat balloon that Charlotte had seen the week before that she really wanted, so I got that one for her. Since they only had one in stock, I got a sloth for Norah (It was cute, I’m not trying to say anything about Norah). When I got home, Norah decided she wanted the cat. Charlotte was fiercely protective of her cat. When Naomi got home, the “happy birthday” balloon she had gotten three days before, seemed not nearly as cool as an animal. Tears were shed. There was no peace in our household for a while because there was no possible way for everyone to get what they wanted.

CONSIDERING THE NEEDS OF OTHERS

Of course, this sort of thing happens with young children. They’re kids. Over time, they should learn to share and to consider what other people want. To work to find an accommodation with others and not to so inflexibly insist on getting their own way. Except, it doesn’t always happen that way. Of course, I don’t typically see adults have tantrums. But there are other, more subtle, ways we pursue our own agendas.

Christians, by definition, are meant to be people who follow Jesus’ teachings, people whose stated goal is to let God’s will be done, to let his kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. Central to this identity, then, is the idea that we’ve given up our claim to be in charge, instead saying that God gets to call the shots. God wants us to lay aside our own agenda to make space for his.

This is why Paul, writing to the Philippian Church, says to “ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Unity is impossible when everyone pursues their own agenda. It’s only possible to build a community that embodies God’s design when we all embrace a singular agenda, his agenda.

I’d like to say that this always happens in the church but it doesn’t. Sometimes we outwardly look like we want God’s will to be done but on the inside, we’re really serving ourselves. This self-dealing leads us into conflicts with each other. When we pursue our own agendas, we can no more all get what we want then my kids can all be pleased with the distribution of balloons.

In today’s scripture James warns us about the dangers of selfishness. It causes conflicts with others and it disrupts our relationship with God:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James here uses the imagery of violence because he wants us to see in stark terms that our selfish pursuit of our interests tears a community apart. And this doesn’t just happen when we set our minds on obviously self-serving things. It can happen subtly when we are serving God, but doing so in a selfish way. Maybe you’ve seen a committee of people get together to run a valuable church ministry, say a poverty relief ministry. They disagree on how to the ministry should be run and the whole thing stops functioning. People get hurt. What went wrong? A difference in vision can lead people into conflict with each other. It may be that they both wanted to do something good, but they also both wanted to be in control. Or they wanted to be seen as the most important person in the ministry. They weren’t willing to submit to one another and so even an act of ministry to those in need becomes corrupted by selfishness. Sometimes our selfishness can disguise itself in pious robes.

BREAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

It’s bad enough that our selfishness breaks our relationships with other Christians, but it also breaks our relationship with God. James tells us that selfishness is a reason why our prayers aren’t answered to our satisfaction. Yes, Jesus tells us that when we ask for things in his name we will receive them, but James qualifies this saying that when we ask for things for our own, selfish purposes God is under no obligation to give us the things we’re asking for.

Let me first clarify that I’m not saying that if you prayed for something and didn’t get it, you’re necessarily a selfish person. But James is saying that if we have claimed to surrender to Jesus’ Lordship, that such a position is incompatible with self dealing. Any gospel that teaches us that God wants to make us rich (if only we have the faith to accept that) is a dangerous distortion of the good news. God wants to make you Christ-like. Our focus on material riches often works against such a transformation, so God chooses to ignore our requests for him to fill our bank accounts to overflowing. If God calls us to be other-oriented then pleasing ourselves should not be our priority with all the good blessings that God has given us. James calls this sort of thinking adulterous. Why is that?

HOSTILITY TOWARD GOD

James says that “friendship with the world is hostility to God.” This passage has often been used to justify our non-participation in culture. It says I can’t watch secular TV shows and movies or listen to secular music. But I think this misunderstands what the passage is getting at. He’s saying we need to set our affections on God not on the things of this world. The world pedals all sorts of stories about things that will satisfy you. If only you had --fill in the blank--you would be happy and fulfilled. It might be the right vacation, A bigger retirement nest-egg, a more luxurious car, a more attractive partner, or a newer, flashier gadget. But these are empty promises. I remember back when Tim Hortons used to bake their donuts from scratch, I used to walk by the local Tim’s late at night. The smell was amazing. I always craved donuts when I smelled that smell. But I rarely went in. You see, I’ve had their donuts. They were fine, but they smelled life-altering but never delivered on that impossible promise. Donuts don’t satisfy. Everything in this world that subtly promises us satisfaction -- material possessions, wealth, sex, physical fitness, education--fails to deliver. It’s not that these things are wrong in themselves. It’s that they’re not meant to sustain these sorts of expectations. Only God is.

But we forget this. We come to God and promise to make him the centre of our desire. But then, we start to wonder if life might be better if we also had (fill in your blank). When our desires shift from God to other things, we’ve transitioned away from pursuing God’s agenda to pursuing our own. This, of course, will eventually lead us into conflict with others.

FIXING THE PROBLEM

So what do we do? We receive God’s grace by submitting to him. The Devil wants to fool you into believing that God’s holding out on you. If you just had this or that, then you’d be happy after all. These additions are meant to bring us into conflict with others. It’s as we reject the temptation to pursue what’s good for us and what will bring us into conflict with others, that we submit to God’s will. When we’ve decided to resolutely set our affections on God, then we take a stand against Satan’s temptations. When he realizes he can’t get what he wants, he’ll stop trying to convince us. As we reject the lie that other things will give us ultimate satisfaction, we draw near to God. And James promises that God will return the favour. As God comes close, we’ll find out that he really is the one who can satisfy.

This is really a game of the mind. We are all going to be tempted to set our affections on other things. It might be material goods, it might be more tangible things. If I only had a better job, another child, a higher degree, If only my team won the cup, then I’d be satisfied. As long as we hope in something other than God to give us our satisfaction, we’ll look to our own agenda to get it, and we’ll create conflict in the process. So when you feel that lie creep in, confront it for what it is, a lie. I’m not saying these things aren’t good and enjoyable, but that we can never invest them with our ultimate hope. I must never allow myself to never believe that if I only had blank then I would finally feel happy, fulfilled. As Augustine confessed, “You have made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it rests in you”

Will you allow God to be the centre of your desire? Will you allow his agenda to become the thing that animates and motivates you? As we are faithful in this department, we will contribute to the success of our church in being a kingdom community. As we fall short in this, we bring conflict that pulls us apart. Let’s seek to be people captured by his will and his agenda.