Didn't See it Coming: compromise

Introduction - ME

Title Slide

Good morning everyone! Glad you made it to church today because I believe today is a great day to learn from God’s word as to how to be come better. I truly believe that if we capture the important principle God is going to share with us, we will actually move closer to becoming the person that God wants us to become.

We are in this series called “Didn’t see it coming” 7 great challenges no one expects but everyone experiences. This is based on the book by Carey Nieuwhof with the same title. Last week Pastor Matt introduced this series and talked about the cynicism that can so easily take over our hearts. This is such a dangerous attitude be cause it especially writes a negative story into the future and it neglects grace and hope. We learned that to starve cynicism we must stay curious. You can take a look at that message in our archive online at faithauburn.org.

Today we are going to talk about another great challenge. The challenge of compromise and I must confess I’ve struggle with this one the most out of all topics we are going to cover during this series. I do realize that there are several definition for the word compromise so here is the definition for compromise that we are talking about.

Slide 2: Compromise

Click: When your moral values, ethics or beliefs are in contrast with your behavior.

Story Time:

Now I am a Christian and I know of certain behaviors that reflect my allegiance to God. I also know what behaviors don’t. Yet I have practice behavior that have left me compromise more than once. It's hard to admit this because I truly want to be of example to all of you and the students I get to serve. I have some work to do here.

We all value honesty right. You know that honesty is an essential ingredient for any relationships. About two years ago, I took over as the team leader for my families finances. Kel (wife) felt overwhelmed with the extra new responsibilities of having kids and I wanted to help but truly I also just wanted to be in control of finances because I thought I knew best.

You can ask Kelleigh that I was doing a great job with budgeting and saving money but sometimes I was a bit too stricked about the money she casually spent. Kel, you went over your $5 Dunkin budget by a dollar. How dare you, now we can’t afford to pay our mortgage. Give me your card please. You don’t get dinner tonight.

Then there was a night were I casually walked in with two pairs of sneakers and she asked me about them and I told her that my dad had a friend that gave it to him and he gave them to me. This actually happened once but at this moment I was not being honest. In my mind this was an innocent lie. We had some extras money that month and I really needed some sneakers. She didn’t question my story and we went about our day. I thought to my self, no harm no foul. I was completely being dishonest yet because I got away with it I thought that this was not a big deal. I moved on.

And just like that my character was compromise. And because this was not a public behavior, it was easy to cover up from people without any immediate repercussions. But I knew, what I did does not come from God.

Orientation - WE

Has your character ever been compromised?

You hide something from your wife.The way you handle moneyYou really didn’t get that oil change in the car even though you said you did. You say you are faithful but you eyes and actions say otherwise.

If you are a student:

You said you study for the test but really you cheated. You didn’t get caught so you think you are good. You say you are a christian but you found some money that was not yours and decided to make it yours even thought you knew you could have reported it. You are quick to judge someone else yet you don’t see what is wrong with you first.

Tension

If we are honest with our selves, we can all probably think of several times where we have compromise our character. We are actually live in a time where compromised people are being exposed more than ever. Think about the #Metoo Movement, the college admission scandal, regardless of how you feel what is taking place in politics.

Slide 3: “Making room for little compromises will eventually leave you compromised”

In result, our ability to have healthy lives, healthy relationships disappears as we move deeper and deeper and deeper into life of sin.

Slide 5: How do we avoid the road to compromised?

I say, we have some things to figure out. Thankfully we have the Bible which provides further examples of characters being compromise and even better, advices as to how we can turn this around and avoid further compromise. You ready to dig in?

First we are going to look another example of compromise found in the Bible to further explain the danger of it all. Then we are going to learn about what we can do to avoid compromise in our future.

Slide 5: Genesis 12:10-20 - Abram and Sarai in Egypt

Background

Abram is a very important person in the Bible. His named is eventually changed from Abram to Abraham and he is the forefather of Israel after God made a covenant with him to make him a great nation. Abraham eventually puts his full trust and faith in God and this covenant is fulfilled as Abraham is proved to be a man of faith that is of great example to us all. However, Abraham was still human and before his reputation of great faith followed his life he was a man who compromised his character. Just after a promise of God to make him great nation, a great test of character lies in front of him.

Slide 7: 10 Now there was a famine in the land. So Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. - Gen 12:10

Abram was given a promise and then a famine happens. Lack of food, resources to survive. Abram is seeking refuge for him and his family.

I don’t know about you guys but I know that when things are on the thin side, I found my mind playing tricks on me. When things are thin or tight and you are in need. You are almost open to do things you would not do otherwise. It's almost as if there is an internal battle between your moral values and survival mode.

Ever compromise your character because you thought that you had no other choice in order to (keep your reputation, rise above others, not get caught, get a little extra attention or deflect attention from something you did) Well, check out what Abram does next.

Slide 8: When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife,“I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.” - Gen 12:11-13

What a guy! Just like that we find Abram’s character is compromised and here how we know his character is compromise. In fact, here is how we gage if we might be compromised.

Slide 9: Signs of being compromised

There is a gap between our public life and our private life.

Abram is displaying a different person in public that he is privately. There is a gap.

Are you the same person at work and at home.

Sometimes the public personality tends to be more impressive than the person behind close doors.

Here is an example: When you are not necessarily the most helpful party when it comes to cleaning the house but, when people you want to impress are coming over. You become Mr.Clean

When you talk to others about being responsible with finances but your finances are a mess.

There is a gap between your private and public life.

You are hiding things

We do this because we are not the person we would like to be.

You delete your browser history because it may reveal some dirty secrets.

You change the password on your phone and keep it from your wife.

You avoid certain conversations because if you have them you have to reveal certain things.

You justify bad decisions

Here is one that we hear commonly to justify decisions. Everyone is doing it.

Everyone tells white lies. Everyone has sex outside of marriage.

Everyone watches pornEveryone uses a credit card and gets in debt on purpose.

We blame our behavior on things “beyond our control”

I didn’t have a choice “peer pressure”

I didn’t have a choice “I accidentally click on the website.

I didn’t have a choice .

I really needed that new iPhone.

You don’t take responsibility for your self.

You become self-centered

The more compromises you make. The more self centered you become.

You become someone that you actually truly don’t want to be.

You see, we know we should put others first. But putting others first requires time, and energy but we don’t make that effort when we are to focus on our selves.

Slide 10: When Abram entered Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. And for her sake he dealt well with Abram; and he had sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male servants, female servants, female donkeys, and camels. -Gen 12:14-16

Compromises sometimes make you a profit.

Sometimes there are things you actually can get away with.

But sometimes we forget that we can’t hide anythings from the God above whose opinion should matter most to us.

Slide 11: But the Lord afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. So Pharaoh called Abram and said, “What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife; take her, and go.” And Pharaoh gave men orders concerning him, and they sent him away with his wife and all that he had. - Gen 12:10-20

The major problem with compromise is that you will often not only compromise your life.

You compromise other people’s lives also.

If we are frank just like Pharaoh, we are not fund having relationship with people who comprise.

This story does not make Abraham look good at all. How did he get there.

Slide 12: how do we get to a place where our character is compromise?

Just Recently I read a book by Chap Clack called Hurt 2.0 where he talks about this idea of systemic abandonment children and adolescent are experiencing. Systemic abandonment is this idea that the world controlled by adults and the adult focus agenda we’ve presented to our children and adolescent leaves them without pivotal relationships that are essential to help them grow.

“An eight-year-old who loves to dance is no longer allowed to attend a class she loved for its fun, free, raucous, hour-and-a-half adventure in tights. Her dancing now consists of up to six (or more) hours of training, repetition, and practice per week, culminating in something called a “dance competition,” a phrase that was formerly an artistic oxymoron.” - Chap Clark

Slide 14: Our society is focused too much on competency (this need for knowledge and skill) than building up our character.

Lots of children and adolescence are experiencing this abandonment of relationships and we don’t even have a clue at times. Adults live this way, why shouldn’t kids too.

I get it, we feel like knowledge and skills is what get us in the door. Knowledge and skills quickly impress.

But because of our focus on competency, building up our character takes a back seat.

And, lack of character leaves us vulnerable to compromise.

How do we avoid compromise?

Abraham’s legacy gets turned around as he stops compromising his character and does something different. Abraham is most famous for doing something that none of us probably willing to do. He was given a promise that he would become a great nation and Sarah gives birth to his son Issac which then God ask Abraham to offer him as a sacrifice. Talk about a test of Character. You are probably wondering if Abraham was questioning God here. Like wait, you are gonna make me a great nation yet you are asking me to sacrifice my son. The Bible does not reference Abraham question why God is asking this of him. Abraham grabs his son and actually listens to God and offers Isaac as sacrifice. In the moment that he was about to Kill Issac, God spoke and said to him. Stop! You passed the ultimate test.

because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son,  I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. - Gen 22:16–17

Slide 13: how do we avoid the road to compromised?

Any poker players here? The best poker hand is a royal flush. When you have that hand on your deck. You go all in.

Click: We start fully trusting in God withholding nothing of ourselves.

Having faith that his plans for our lives are good. The instructions in our Bibles are useful to grow our character give significance to our lives and moves us closer to God.

God is inviting us to this process of renewal. We call it sanctification.

This process where God wants to make us holy.

Righteous

Where he is inviting us not only to believe in him but to dwell in him.

To trust him withholding nothing.

This process can be hard because it can be consider counter cultural.

Focusing on competency is the way to go says the culture but here is the thing.

You may be smart but if people don’t like you. They don’t want to work with you.

You can have the best skills but if you lie, no one is gonna want to work with you.

Camera Illustration: Sensor and Camera

A lot of you guys know I have a passion for Photography. Professional cameras have detachable lenses. Which means that the sensor of the camera is exposed to dust if you are not careful. Well, on my trip to Alaska this past summer I took some amazing photos but some of my photos were compromise. Check this one out.

Slide 14: Picture with spots

Slide 15: Picture with circles

You see, you can take the most beautiful photos in the world. I can have the best skills with a camera but if my sensor is dirty. My images are compromise. They are almost not good. What I need to do then is pretty obvious. Since I change lenses all the time and my sensor is exposed all the time then I need to make sure that I am also taking time to clean my sensor all the time. The camera can’t clean itself. It needs my help to clean it. Then, when I take pictures, they won’t be compromises by dust but the true beauty of the photo can be appreciate it. Kind of like this.

Slide 16: Other Photo

Here is what I am saying, in a world where dust can easily invade our hearts. We need to be intentional about inviting God to renew our hearts. Renew our character. We can’t do it our selves. We are flawed by default. We kind of need to make this a priority if you don’t want to be compromised. You need to be intentional about it. Its starts by trusting in God that he wants to make you a way better version of your self. This means withholding nothing from him. Full trust even when it hurts. That is the process of sanctification.

There is a guy name Paul who wrote tons of letters to Christians pertaining the teachings of God. Paul writes about how we are made righteous on the site of God and how we can practice righteousness in our daily living particularly in the book of Romans.

He says this pertaining what I believe is the antidote to avoid compromise. He says…

Slide 17: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

Slide 18: Renew your characters by:

When your walk matches your talk. Eliminate the gap between your private and public life.

Practice transparency instead of hiding things. Even if revealing somethings will make you look bad. When you practice transparency you give no room for darkness to hide. We think that exposing ourselves will be full of shame but actually people tend to experience empathy and freedom from shame.

Take Responsibility

Story end:

I went to put on the sneakers and they were really nice yet the holy spirit got a hold of me and convicted me of my sin. Sam you know this is not right and you have struggled with honesty in the past and it has not made you better.

So I took the two pairs of sneakers and confessed to my wife and said I am ashamed to tell you that I lied to you about way I got these sneakers. As consequence for my actions I am going to return the sneakers and promise to work on getting your trust back about my dishonesty. You know this is not me and I am not sure what got a hold of me.

Not once has Kelleigh held this episodes against me. I didn’t let it compromise me. Repented right away.

Put your self first when it comes to personal growth

When you try to fix others before working on your self. You sound foolish and people think you are judgmental. But when you work on your self

Again I ask… how do we avoid the road to compromised?

Slide 19: Work twice as hard on your character as you do on your competency. - Carey Nieuwhof (direct quote)

This is so important and here is why. When you work twice as hard on your character, it leads to real spiritual maturity.

Some people thing that spiritual maturity is knowing more.

Sometimes those know it claim to be the most mature yet judgement comes out, division comes out, self-righteousness comes out.

This is because spiritual maturity is not about how much you know but instead it is about how much you LOVE.

This is what Jesus taught in the Bible. Love, one another. love your enemy. Put others first.

Work twice as hard on your character. It leads to real spiritual maturity.

What will be your legacy?

Will you wait to get be compromised and than want to change? or will you realize right now that God is inviting us all to not seeltle, not conform but enter into this exciting path of transformation of your character to spiritual maturity.

At the end of our days. People won’t remember our competency. They will remember our character.

I just did a memorial service last week and when they were talking about Rosa.

I didn’t hear anything about how she was the best computer engineer. The best dressed. The most knowledgeable.

What I did hear was about her strength. Her willingness to fight cancer. Her willingness to sever others who had cancer. I heard about her character. and this is how other remember her.