Sylvia Hougum Funeral

2 Timothy 4:16–18 (NIV): 16 At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. 17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Have you ever heard the following quote? (Research its context).

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

Orson Welles

Its important to include the next part of the quote:

Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone

Like any quote, the interpretation is ultimately up to the reader, i would suggest in this case, Orson was illustrating that ultimately, we are truly alone in this universe, from the moment we are born, to the moment we die. We view and experience the world through our own eyes, and we are only privy to our own thoughts and experiences.

People can share their thoughts and experiences with others, but ultimately, you can only understand them vicariously, through your own eyes, as it were, we can not TRULY understand what its like to live as someone else.

But, through love and friendship, socializing with others, we are capable of creating a momentary illusion that we are not alone, but that is all it is: an illusion, because at the end of the day, you are still stuck within your own mind and see the world through your eyes.

So what it seems Orson Welles meant was that the only person who truly knows you is you yourself.

But that is not what the quote sounds like it means to me at first glance. It sounds as though Orson Welles is saying that even if we are surrounded by people, we are all alone and must depend on ourselves for relevence and security.

But even if Orson Welles didn’t mean that, many people may feel alone, lonely, isolated, deserted at certain points in their live and as though no one else cares or can help them.

I wonder if there were times when Sylvia felt that way as she neared the end of her life. (cite reasons why).

In recent years her mobility was greatly hampered so she depended more on people visiting her than on her visting them.

The recent move from their house to Marshfield, then the move to Three Oaks, then the move to Stevens Point, and during this time the restrictions placed on visitation due to the coronavirus continued to isolate her. For some of that time she was not even able to be with Maurice who had been her constant companion for over 60 years.

I do know that a common observation and perhaps even complaint I have heard over the years from people who are shut it is how isolated they have become and how infrequent the visits have come. They feel as though no one cares or no one can help. That may be the case sometimes but it can be just how the person who knows them insulates themselves from emotional pain. In my family, my younger sister loved our dad deeply but in the last months of his life, she just couldn’t endure the emotional pain of seeing the man she had always regarded as the strongest man in her life slowly deteriorate physically and mentally. She didn’t stop loving him. She just couldn’t bear to see him. There are other reasons why often times those who are aging are more and more alone. (Separated from loved ones and the things they enjoyed).

But they are never alone. St. Paul reminds us how this is true when he himself had been isolated near the end of his life while he was in prison awaiting trial for his faith.

These words of Paul were written to a young pastor called Timothy while Paul was imprisoned awaiting trial for his faith in Jesus and his proclamation of the Gospel. (Is this the final imprisonment). He believed that the time of his departure was near because of these legal issues. We may not like to come to terms with the fact that we too will depart someday and the departure of our loved ones or the imminent departure of them can sadden us deeply. But rather than avoid the topic, St. Paul looks forward to a future in heaven. 2 Timothy 4:6–8 (NIV): 6 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Under such circumstances, a person may have a dying wish. Paul wished that and believed that he would go to heaven. When my mother was suffering from compromised lungs and knew her departure was near her wishes included being able to run again like a little girl and that when she died she would go to heaven. She never ran again but we believe that because Jesus died on the cross to save sinners and she believed this, that she did go to heaven.

What did St. Paul wish in addition to going to heaven? He wished and prayed that Timothy would visit him. This was at a time when he seemed to be all alone. 2 Timothy 4:9–16 (NIV): 9 Do your best to come to me quickly, 10 for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry. 12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 13 When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments. 14 Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. 15 You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message. 16 At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.

That may have been a wish that Sylvia had. That she would be visited one last time by those important to her. It may have been your wish to visit her one last time before she passed away.

Orson Welles would say that even if people did get to visit, we still die alone. It doesn’t matter that I disagree with him. What matters is that St. Paul (inspired by the Holy Spirit) disagrees with him. We are NOT alone when we are born, when we live, when we die, or after we die. What does Paul say? 2 Timothy 4:17–18 (NIV): 17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

See promises that God is always with us.

Psalm 46:7 (NIV): 7 The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:18–21 (NIV): 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

Psalm 71:9–14 (NIV): 9 Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. 10 For my enemies speak against me; those who wait to kill me conspire together. 11 They say, “God has forsaken him; pursue him and seize him, for no one will rescue him.” 12 Do not be far from me, my God; come quickly, God, to help me. 13 May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace. 14 As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

Assure mourners that God is with them too as they put their trust in him.

Lord, take my hand and lead me Upon life's way; Direct, protect and feed me From day to day. Without your grace and favour I go astray; So take my hand, O Savior, And lead the way.Lord, when the tempest rages, I need not fear; For you, the Rock of Ages, Are always near. Close by your side abiding, I fear no foe, For when your hand is guiding, In peace I go.

Lord, when the shadows lengthen And night has come, I know that you will strengthen My steps toward home, And nothing can impede me, O blessed Friend! So take my hand and lead me Unto the end.