Jesus Wept - The Death of Lazarus

The Story

I have been doing college ministry since college, and one of the things that I love is I get to be a witness and apart of God’s transformative work in so many student’s lives. I have had the privelege in college ministry of counseling many students, and have had great joy in witnessing their growth. I want to share one of their stories with you, and together I want us to find Jesus in the midst of grief.

There once was a girl, we will call her Sarah. She was a go getter. If she wanted something, she would go and do what it takes to go and get it.

She always had it together. She grew up in the church, she knew how to behave, was always on leadership and was respected by her peers. She was a good, rule following Christian girl. She was a go-getter and always got what she wanted. Now at the peak of her academic career, she got sidetracked by a boy. It wasn’t even a boy that was her type, that she or others could imagine her liking or being with long-term. Nonetheless, she fell for him, and fell hard. But, as do many college romances, it ended, and she was heartbroken. The process was textbook. We had many conversations, and after the 5th, 6th, 7th conversation, she was done. She just wanted it to be over with. She went through the stage of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, and depression.

Stages of Grief

Denial

In her denial, she would tell herself that she never really like him, it was just a fling, and I just needed his support during this season of my life.

Anger

In her anger, she blamed him, thought that he didn’t care about her and used her, and even directed it towards God, why would let me go through this suffering.

Bargaining

In her bargaining, she pleaded with God that if she was more faithful, spent more time in prayer and was more faithful with her time, that the sorrow would go away and she would finally be able to move on.

Depression

Finally depression hit, and I remember her telling me, I just want to stop crying. I don’t want to wake up and cry about a boy that I don’t even want to like anymore. I just want to stop being sad!

And this situation is something that we all can probably relate with - we are stuck in a situation where we feel overcome with hopelessness. And it is here that I want us to turn to John 11:17-37 to learn from Jesus about grief.

Scripture: John 11:17-37

John 11:17–37 ESV

Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?”

If you remember, in the beginning of this chapter, Mary and Martha, two women who Jesus loved, sent to him to tell Jesus to come heal Lazarus because he was sick. However, 11:6 tells us that “when he heard Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”

I don’t know about you, but when I read this, I get frustrated. Why would Jesus wait two extra days when he has received urgent news that one of his friends is sick? Being a type A personality, I the instant upon hearing this, my bags would be packed and we would be on the way. Jesus arrives, and they find out that Lazarus has been dead for four days in his tomb.