2018-11-18 PHILIPPIANS 4: 2-3 STANDING FIRM (2): BY MAINTAINING UNITY

STANDING FIRM (2): BY MAINTAINING UNITY (Phil. 4:2-3) November 18, 2018 Read Phil 4:1-3 – “Stand firm.” Be a rock in your Xn walk. That’s the command that drives everything in Phil 4. In a chaotic world we need some rocks – people unphased by adverse circumstances. How do we become such people? “Therefore” points us back to chapter 3 – by remembering we are citizens of heaven. We live, think, act, and speak differently because we belong to a place far greater than this world. That gives strength of certainty. But then Paul says, “stand firm thus”. As “therefore” points us back to the big picture, “thus” points us forward to 7 elements of standing firm. The first vv. 2-3 – Be unified. Be together. If you’re holding a grudge against another believer, you’re not standing firm. First in the list; first in importance! Unity. Too often we’re like the woman who told a gun shop clerk, “I’m looking for a gun for my husband.” The clerk asked, “Did your husband tell you what kind of gun he wants?” The woman replied, “No! He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.” We’ve got to be careful that’s not us. God’s not with us when we are taking potshots at each other! He excused Himself long ago. Is conflict ever valid? Yes – when issues of morality or essential truth are at stake – as when someone is defending an adulterous relationship or denying the atonement. But most church conflicts are personality conflicts -- someone defending their “rights” against someone. Those are not defensible to God. If there is conflict, we must each heal the breach – not widen it. That’s what Paul’s doing here with 2 wonderful ladies who have gotten sideways with each other. About what? It wasn’t even important enough to mention! But it held them captive. So having set the stage throughout this letter, Paul gets specific. His approach is instructive, and it covers both sides – Paul’s Part as a healer – and the Participants’ Part in need an attitude adjustment. I. Paul’s Part A. Confront Lovingly – This conflict threatens to rip the church apart. People are no doubt lining up on sides behind these women, so Paul confronts it – in dramatic fashion. Imagine sitting in church one Sunday when suddenly your name is read out loud to the whole group – in a letter sent by your hero in the faith. That would be tough! These women perhaps were 1 among those Paul met on the first Sabbath in Philippi. Acts 16:13 And on the Sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed there was a place of prayer, and we sat down and spoke to the women who had come together.” Whether then or later they met Christ thru Paul and then helped bring others to faith. And now – they are being called out – in public! They must have been looking for a hole to crawl into! It may hurt, but leaders have the painful responsibility to confront personality conflicts. Yet Paul is as gentle as possible. He says, “I entreat” – not “I demand”. “Please ladies. Reconsider and “agree in the Lord”. Paul’s applying Eph 4:15 to be “speaking the truth in love.” It is easy to get off-balance either way. We avoid speaking the truth out of fear. Or we speak harshly, self-righteously, insensitively. Not Paul. He confronted – lovingly. Gal 6:1: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” It’s easy to get on our high horse when confronting conflict. But our approach must always be kind – with a desire to restore peace, not win! Confront requires sensitivity and gentleness. Russell Moore in Onward tells of one angry man who was always criticizing something! He defended his quarrelsome spirit by producing a “spiritual gifts inventory” which revealed he had the gift of prophecy. He seemed to feel that excused his crankiness. It didn’t. Paul would never have gone there, nor does the Lord lead anyone there. Confront, when required, lovingly. B. Stay Neutral – Whether it’s a fight over carpet color or music style, leaders need perspective. Paul provides that. 2I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.” He uses “entreat” before both names indicating he’s not taking sides – maintaining neutrality – pleading for unity. If this were a moral or truth issue, he’d have taken a side – but not here. It’s trivial and both need to stand down for the sake of the gospel. It is so easy to get pulled into the orbit of someone who thinks they have been wronged. But the moment neutrality is lost, objectivity is lost. I’ve discovered something interesting in counseling. Most people are not seeking advice, but affirmation. They want to be told that they are right and the other person is wrong. They are looking for support, not help. The proof is, they often walk away from good advice. Taking sides enables, not helps! Joan Rivers was once asked if she had ever seen a psychiatrist. She replied, “No. It would straighten me out – and there goes my act.” There’s truth in that humor! You can’t help someone in a personality conflict by taking their 2 side. You can only help by staying neutral and thus objective. Then they must decide whether or not they really want to straighten out their act. Don’t get pulled into someone else’s downward spiral of self-justification. It won’t help. C. Appeal to the Big Picture – The final thing Paul does is brilliant. He appeals to the big picture. 3b: “help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel.” What’s he doing? He’s pointing them higher. They’re in the gutter squabbling about petty things. Bigger issues are at stake. The gospel is at stake. They are undermining their past labors in the greatest cause of all – the gospel. Before, they labored for the gospel; now they are consumed with trivia. He’s urging – remember the big picture. Does it really matter whether the walls are blue or green? Not much. But does it matter whether or not people see Jesus in us?! Absolutely. That’s the priority. Jesus says in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Paul is saying, “That’s our heritage. We labored to love each other and bring others to Christ. That’s your past; it needs to be your future as well. But it won’t be if what the world sees is a bunch of squabbling.” We must remember why we’re here! Former NBC anchor, Tom Brokaw, said this to 2005 University grads: "Here is a secret that no one has told you: Real life is junior high. The world that you are about to enter is filled with junior high, adolescent pettiness; pubescent rivalries; the insecurities of 13-yearolds; and the false bravado of 14-year-olds,” That is the natural inclination of the human heart. But that’s living for trivialities, winning petty victories. Better to lose trivial battles in order to win the war!? Put Jesus first, not you! II. Participants Part A. Seek God’s Interests – Paul immediately sets a high bar: “Agree in the Lord.” He doesn’t say, “Get along!” He doesn’t say, “Seek mediation” or “Play nice together.” Those just encourage people to find kinder ways to impose their own will. Paul urges, “Seek God’s will?” That’s a whole different mindset! “Get God front and center instead of Me.” That doesn’t mean they won’t still differ on trivialities. They well may. But having expressed their opinion, it’s time to look at the big picture – to seek harmony above personal rights; the gospel above winning an argument; Christ above self. Instead of focusing on the trivial, focus on the eternal. When we 3 give up our rights, God has space to work. And don’t we pray for that? “Your will be done – on earth as it is in heaven.” Personal rights must go! In late 1861, Abe Lincoln and Sec of State Seward went to see Genrl McClellan at home. They were told he was attending a wedding but would be home soon. After waiting an hour the men heard the general return, heard a servant tell him the president was there, and heard McClellan go upstairs. Supposing he was refreshing himself, the men waited, but after half an hour, the president asked again that McClellan be informed the president as waiting. The servant returned to announce, “The General has retired for the night.” Seward was livid and wanted McClellan fired on the spot. But Lincoln gently replied, “All I want from General McClellan is a victory, and if to hold his horse would bring it, I would gladly hold his horse.” That is what it means to give up personal rights for the greater good. And when those are given to God, that’s how we “agree in the Lord.” Tough assignment. But Godly living! B. Accept Help It’s humbling to accept help. But we all need help at times. None of us is a perfectly round wheel in our intelligence of personality. We all have flat spots. That’s why God gifts us with each other. Prov 27:17: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” That doesn’t mean all advice is good, but it is all worth considering. If you want to stay a flat tire, just ignore the various people that God has put into your life specifically to help round you out! Look how Paul does that. 3) Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women.” Who is the true companion? We don’t know. Epaphroditus, Timothy, Luke, a leading elder? But why not just name them? The word “companion” is literally “yoke-fellow” – one of two partners yoked together as oxen would be to perform a common task. It could be a name. I think it probable there was in Philippi a respected fellow named Susugos. In calling him “true” or “genuine” Susugos Paul is saying, “Susugos, be a true yokefellow – live up to your name – harness yourself to these ladies and help them out.” It’s a play on words. Paul does it also in Philemon 10–11, “I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful [Onesimus means “useful”].” In any case, Paul is appealing to a trusted person, known to the Philippians, to help these women make peace. But that would require that the women accept help! They must do what goes most against human nature – accept help. Not easy – but wise. God says “The 4 way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Prov 12:15). Godly advice, of course. Only a fool would turn that down. Prov 13:10, “By insolence (insisting on one’s own way) comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.” God’s will? Accept help! Here’s an example. Peter – leader of thousands in the early church after Jesus’ ascension. He heard about the highly fruitful ministry of Paul and Barnabas among Gentiles in Antioch, so he went to see. Gal 2:12) For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles (highly significant act of acceptance in that culture); but when they came he drew back and separated himself, (why, Peter? Why withdraw?) fearing the circumcision party (the Jews).” Jews despised Gentiles as uncircumcised pagans, and now, tho God had clearly reached out, thru both Peter and Paul to Gentiles, Peter got cold feet. Feared the delegation from Jerusalem would report that he was consorting with pagans and his leadership would be undermined. Old prejudices re-surfaced in brave Peter! And look further: 13) And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.” As a man of immense influence, he took others down, too, even Barnabas! Here was the whole unity of the early church about to break into smithereens by the actions of on influential but fearful man. Thank God for Paul. 14) But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?” Paul is saying, “It’s not the Gentiles who are acting like ungodly bigots, Peter. It’s you! And if you do that, how do you expect them to act? Get your act together.” To Peter’s credit, he did. In II Pet 3:15 he refers to “our beloved brother Paul.” He ceded his right of leadership to Paul’s Godly advice! A flat spot in his perception was rounded out and the tragedy of disunity was averted. If Peter needed and accepted help, so can we, right? C. Remember the Priority Notice how Paul keeps coming back to the big pix. “Help these women, who labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.” What’s he doing? Bringing them back to the gospel– reminding them what’s important is not some petty personal preference but the fact they’re all in the book of life together. He’s saying, “Rejoice in that, not in winning some trivial argument. Remember who you are! You’re both there – in the book of life (saved people) – secure in heaven. Who needs to win a personality clash?” 5 Jesus did exactly the same thing? Remember? He’d sent His disciples out – 72 of them in pairs and given them miraculous power. So they returned all jazzed about their success: “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” (Lu 10:17). And Jesus rejoices with them, but then reminds them the authority was His, and then points them even higher. Lu 10:20) Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” His point is, the big thing about them is not that they cast out demons; the big thing about them was their names written in heaven. That’s exactly where Paul is pointing Euodia and Syntyche. “Ladies, what’s important about you isn’t winning your little spat. What’s important about you is that your name is written in heave – both of you. You’re going to be together forever, so no time like the present to get over yourselves and get focused on Him.” That’s the message. “Agree in the Lord.” Conc – So Paul’s message here is simple. Stand firm. Be unified by getting the focus off yourself and onto the Lord. Take a backseat to Him. A wise SS teacher asked all his students to take the class period to draw a picture of someone they hated or that made them angry or that they had a personality conflict with. One drew a guy who had stolen his girlfriend. Another drew his drunken father. No one had a problem thinking of someone. End of class, they turned in the pictures. Next week they returned to find all their pictures hung on the wall. Darts were provided to throw at the person they so despised – to get our their anger. Soon many mangled faces lined the wall. Then the professor began to remove the pictures one by one. As they came down, a hush filled the room. For behind their pix was a picture of Jesus, His image marred by holes and jagged marks covering His face. No lecture was needed to make the point. We can’t hurt one another without hurting Him. Let’s pray. 6