2020-08-30 1 Timothy 3:4-7 PORTRAIT OF AN ELDER (5): LIFE EXPERIENCE

PORTRAIT OF AN ELDER (5): LIFE EXPERIENCE (I Tim 3:4-7) August 30, 2020 Read I Tim 3:4-7 – A newly minted 26-year-old pastor at his first church noticed that an elderly parishioner had missed several Sundays in a row. So he went to find out why. She told him precisely: “Young man, you aren’t old enough, to have sinned enough, to have repented enough, to be able to preach about it!” Skewed reasoning? Maybe. But experience does count. And that’s God’s point in these verses dealing with qualifications for elders. Previously we’ve looked at an elder’s I. Overall Life – He is above reproach – no one could bring a valid ethical or theological charge against him over the last few years of life. II. Moral Life – Demonstrably more and more Christlike in character. But God’s not done yet. Experience matters. Elders need some. III. Life Experience – Three areas – family, spiritual and social. A. Family Life – 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” How can a man run God’s church if he can’t run his own home? This is a challenging. Home is where, with our hair let down, the real person emerges. And that’s reflected in the lives of all family members. None of us is perfect, but there must be a clear pattern of Godly leadership at home. An elder can’t be like the preacher Spurgeon described who “preached so well and lived so badly, that when he was in the pulpit everybody said he ought never to come out again, and when he was out of it they all declared he never ought to enter it again.” Home reveals a man’s true character, so God says, “Start the evaluation there – at home.” Leaders are influencers. Godly leaders influence others toward salvation and Godly living – starting at home. An elder must first “manage his own household well.” That means everything about his home. He provides for his family, his finances are in order, and he gives enthusiastically. He works hard, plans ahead, takes adequate time for recreation, cares for his possessions without allowing them to become idols. He manages well, in accordance with biblical principles. He loves his wife as Christ loves the church – a subject covered earlier under “one-woman man.” 1 But then God gets more specific. He is “with all dignity keeping his children submissive.” Dignity = gravity, seriousness. That certainly means he’s not chasing his kids around to grab them or counting to 3, but the word means more than that. He can be fun, but he realizes this is dead serious business. He enjoys his kids. BUT he is certainly in charge, and he manages his children with an eternal perspective, not a temporal one. He knows something most parents never consider. When God blesses us with children, he put beings under their control who have an eternal destiny. Most people are so concentrated on getting their kids into the right sports, right opportunities, right dance studio, right college or right career they never consider how little that will matter in a thousand years. But knowing God will. The godly father keeps this in mind as he teaches his children to be submissive to authority – his own, the school’s, the government’s and most of all God’s. Usually, if kids don’t learn this at home, they don’t learn it at all. It is a sobering thing to be the primary influencer of beings who are going to exist forever somewhere. C. S. Lewis reminds us every person we meet, including our kids, will “one day be a creature which if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, only in a nightmare. All day long we are in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations.” Nowhere is this power to shape lives more ours than in our children. No wonder God says, “There is the acid test of leadership. Is a man influencing his wife and children toward God?” We take this responsibility way too lightly thinking if we give them lots of things, get them to practices and rehearsals on time and pay their way through a college education we’ve done our job. Not even close. God’s man in active in home life – not just delegating to Mom. He reads, prays, plays and worship with his kids. He does not provoke them, but disciplines with love, like our Heavenly Father. He’s not apathetic but points his family to the truths of Scripture, including II Cor 4:18b: “For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” If a man can’t teach that to his own kids, how can he teach it to others. He enjosy life, but in the context of preparing for the greater life to come. If children do not respect dad’s leadership, or if he is basically en absentia, even when he’s around, he does not qualify to be an elder. How a man leads his home church speaks to his readiness to lead God’s church. Eli was a Godly, moral man. His moral life qualified him. But he failed at home, rearing sons who became priests of the worst kind – cheating on the 2 animal sacrifices by taking the best parts for themselves rather than offering them to God – prime rib instead of hamburger. Even worse they were cheating the people and seducing women worshipers into immorality. God eventually stepped in and removed them all. God summarizes His actions in I Sam 3:13: “And I declare to him [Eli] that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, bc his sons were blaspheming God and he did not restrain them.” Listen – Dad – while those kids are under your roof, you’re in charge. You’re there to be a dad, not a buddy. Your job is to restrain – in a loving manner. If they rebel against your Godly leadership, they’ll answer for it. But if that Godly leadership is missing, you will answer. Of course, sometimes, kids with the best upbringing leave home and go wrong. But while home, they are the best test of a man’s ability to give spiritual leadership, and so God concludes, 5If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” Moms are great, but it is a proven fact that children, both boys and girls, take their identity from Dad. It’s tragic when he’s not there – or there but not there. God’s major to parents is addressed to Dad. Eph 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipine and instruction of the Lord.” How do you provoke kids? Many ways, but under 2 main headings. By not being there, physically or emotionally. Or by harshness and criticism. It takes a steady hand to navigate between those extremes – the kind of hand God wants giving leadership, under Christ, to His church. A guy with a trash removal service had his 2 kids helping one day. He’d throw the trash onto the truck; they’d tramp it down and lie on top to keep it from blowing away. A stranger happened to see them the kids lying on top and commented: “Good heavens. Someone is throwing away two perfectly good children.” Dads, I urge you – don’t throw away your children either by noninvolvement, by tyrannical involvement or by providing all the right things – except an eternal perspective. You can be the most moral person around and successful in everything else – but fail at your family and not only have you eliminated yourself from qualification as an elder, but you may be throwing away the perfectly good eternal beings God has given to your control. B. Spiritual Life – An elder must not be a “recent convert” -literally, newly planted -- little life experience as a believer. As a recent convert, he’s not had time to become spiritually grounded. He knows the basic facts of the gospel, but the finer details of biblical truth require time. Growth takes time. Just as you wouldn’t appoint a toddler to coach a baseball team, so 3 we must not appoint a newly minted believer as an elder, talented and committed though he may be. Life transformation takes time as God chips away at the bad habits of a lifetime to produce an increasingly Christ like character. An oak tree doesn’t grow overnight. Neither does a mature believer. Too much responsibility too soon may cause a man to “become puffed up with conceit.” That’s all one word in the original meaning “wrapped up in smoke.” Ever been wrapped in smoke? You’re soon disoriented, your eyes burn, tears begin to run and you can’t see anything clearly. So a man set in a position for which he is not yet qualified will likely begin to think too much of himself, too little of others, and particularly too little of God. His clouded vision will lead him to follow Satan’s path in Isa 14:14, “I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.” God’s condemnation of that pride is found in Ezek 28:17: “Your heart was proud bc of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.” Satan focused on the honor of the appointment rather than the responsibility and God says: Ezek 28:16b: “and you sinned; so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God.” Pride tempts us all, but particularly a newbie given leadership too soon. He’s in danger of the same condemnation Satan got. God always took time to prepare His leaders. Abraham was 25 years before God trusted him with the promised child. Moses was 40 years in Egypt and 40 years in the desert before God sent him on his life mission to deliver His people. David was anointed years before he actually took the throne. And how about Paul. Instant conversion and instant ministry? Not at all. The conversion was instantaneous, but the preparation was years. By his own testimony in Gal 1:17: “Not did I go up to Jerusalem [after his conversion] to those who were apostles before me, but I went to Arabia, and returned to Damascus. 18 Then after 3 years I went to Jerusalem to visit Cephas and remained with him 15 days. 19But I saw none of the other apostles except James the Lord’s brother . . . 21Then I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia (his hometown of Tarsus for around 10 years of ministry). 22And I was still unknown in person to the churches of Judea that are in Christ.” Barnabas eventually brought him to Antioch and the rest is history – after 13 years of preparation. One of the tragedies of our day is the tendency to take newly converted personalities – movie stars, athletes, business people, politicians, or great sinners like drug addicts and put them up front giving testimony. We’ve created our own Christian celebrity cult. Some, who’ve been long in the faith, like Tim Tebow or Clayton Kershaw, are ready. Others have suffered terribly under the limelight due to instant celebrity status as a Christian. Years ago, a 4 major NHL hockey player came to Christ in Joe Aldrich’s Mariner’s Church in Newport Beach. Joe purposely kept him back not only from leadership but even public appearances until he got grounded. Chuck Colson became theologically grounded before gaining leadership in the evangelical community. The smoke screen of pride is there for all of us, but particularly a new convert. So we must nurture them before making elders of them. C. Social Life – 7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.” Eligibility for leadership is not just a matter of what the congregation think of a man, but also what those outside think of him. For one thing, they probably know him better. They see him every day; church members once or twice a week. Outsiders see him at his worst; the congregation at his best. Paul’s message: “It’s not enough to live for Christ on Sunday; it’s got to be everyday.” Being spiritual at church is easy, but what about out there, where the rubber meets the road? What does that reveal about the real you? Paul knows we have an enemy who is constantly setting snares, traps for us. I Pet 5:8b: “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” You will not be the exception. The traps are everywhere – temptations to cheat at school, to backstab a friend, to lie to get the sale, to give less than our best at sporting endeavors or work, to gossip, to tell that dirty story to get in with the guys, to partake in that ego-boosting flirtation. Temptation is the air we breathe. If Satan can take us down, God is disgraced with us. That’s why the Lord teaches us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation.” Godly leaders will pray that, live that, and exemplify that. Satan is wily, Beloved. So, the Lord counsels in I Pet 5:8a: “Be soberminded, be watchful.” Life should be fun, but not frivolous. Satan is clever. Like the guy who once asked Charlie Chaplin, “How do I make a joke of a fat guy on Fifth Avenue slipping on a banana peel. It’s been done a million times. Do I first show the banana peel, then the fat guy approaching and slipping? Or do I first show the guy, then the banana peel, then he slips?” Chaplain said, “Neither.” Then he said, “You show the fat guy coming; then you show the banana peel, then you show the guy and the banana peel together; then he steps over the peel and disappears down a manhole.” That is the nature of Satan’s traps. He gets us focused on the banana peel while we’re falling down the man hole, taking God’s reputation with us. A man who has a good reputation with outsiders is probably living out his faith. He’s discovered truth to live by and that’s exactly what he’s doing. Ravi 5 Zacharias spoke a few years ago at U of Iowa, defending Xn faith for 3 hours against scholars and questioners. Next day the man driving him to the airport said, “You know, I invited a friend – a prominent doctor who hates religion. She came only bc it was at the University. On the way home I asked her reaction. She said, ‘Powerful. Very, very powerful. I wonder what he is like in his private life.’” They’re watching, Beloved. Outsiders. God’s given them the right to watch. So we need leaders who are “well thought of by outsiders” and who will lead us to be the same for His glory. Conc – Life experience. Critical to an elder. We cannot have hypocrites leading us. We must ask, “Does his lifestyle match his life claim.” Does his walk match his talk?” Jerram Barrs tells his students at the Francis Schaeffer Institute at Covenant Seminary, “When I come to visit your church someday, I will not ask people about what a great preacher or leader you are. Rather, I will talk to the secretaries, the office staff, the janitors and those you deal with in the community what it is like to work with you. They will tell me far more about the kind of ministry taking place in the church, and whether you are the kind of leader Christ desires for His church.” Good test, don’t you think? Paul did. Let’s pray. 6