2020-08-23 1 Timothy 3:3 PORTRAIT OF AN ELDER: UNDER CONTROL

PORTRAIT OF AN ELDER (4): UNDER CONTROL (I Tim 3:3) August 23, 2020 Read I Tim 3:1-3 – A man carried his computer bag to work each day, but one day he left it by the front door. So his 2-year-old son came running, “Mommy, Mommy, Daddy forgot to take his diaper bag.” Guess he thought Dad had a maturity issue! Too often that’s true of local church leaders. There is only one true head of any church – Jesus Christ. But God cares deeply who represents Him as under shepherds. Thus, this extensive list of qualifications that we are studying – good not only for evaluating readiness for leadership, but for any true, growing believer. So far we’ve seen: I. Overall Life – He is above reproach – no one could bring a valid ethical or theological charge against him over the last few years of life. II. Moral Life A. One-Woman Man – Faithfully devoted to one wife. B. Sober-minded – Takes serious things seriously. C. Self-controlled – Lives a Spirit-controlled existence. D. Respectable – Is orderly and presentable in conduct. E. Hospitable – Willingly reaches out to strangers F. Able to teach – Knows and applies the Word to life. G. Not a Drunkard – Total abstinence? No, but not total license either. Literally, the phrase reads -- μὴ πάροινον – “not lingering over wine”. That doesn’t forbid wine entirely, but does suggest moderation. The Bible notes wine’s benefits rightly used as Psa 104:15 “wine to gladden the heart of a man.” And I Tim 5:23, Paul advises, “No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.” Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding in Jn 2. It is not forbidden. The problem is, that whereas previous generations of Xns denied any alcohol, our generation has made a rule of these couple of verses to teach drinking is okay. I know I’m out of step here, but that’s a dangerous precedent. Wine is mentioned 237 times in the Bible, and the vast majority of times strongly warns against it. Prov 20:1) “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.” Prov 23:29) Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? 30) Those who tarry long 1 over wine; those who go to try mixed wine. 31) Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles [seduces] in the cup and goes down smoothly. 32) In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder.” Prov 21:17: “Whoever loves pleasure will be a poor man; he who loves wine and oil will not be rich.” It’s almost like God’s posted a sign saying, “Partake at your own risk.” So what exactly does I Tim 3:3 require? To answer, we need first to understand that in ancient times, it was difficult to get purified water. The danger of contamination was constant. So, people routinely drank wine at meals – but it’s well-documented that it was watered down – anywhere from 2-8 parts water to one part wine. Thus, diluted wine was a part of normal life. But the elder must not be one who lingers over his wine – extending the meal with additional glasses of wine, or going out for a night of drinking. To drink for the sake of drinking, Beloved, is forbidden. When strong drink, begins to impair judgment, even slightly, it is too much. The pendulum for modern Xns has swung too far in approving drinking without seriously noting the Bible’s warnings against any overindulgence. Further, what is okay for one might not be for someone else – either bc of their metabolism, their penchant to alcoholism or their conscience. Thus, Rom 14:21: “It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.” It’s sad when people drink in the presence of someone who struggles with this weakness, and we will answer for it. Wouldn’t we rather deny ourselves than lead anyone astray? Isaiah blasted Israel’s leaders in Isa 28:7: “These also reel with wine and stagger with strong drink; the priest and the prophet reel with strong drink, they are swallowed by wine, they stagger with strong drink, the reel in vision, they stumble in giving judgment.” God is pretty direct in Prov 31:4: “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink strong drink.” If not for kings, surely not for spiritual leaders. So while the requirement doesn’t require total abstinence, it certainly requires careful restraint, no lingering drinking sessions and no impairment of judgment. The ultimate word is Eph 5:18: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Need joy – let it come from Him; not the bottle. Need courage – get it from Him, not the bottle. Be controlled by Him, not the bottle. Lead with integrity. H. Not Violent – μὴ πλήκτην – literally, not a striker – someone who settles disputes with his fists. He’d rather fight than switch. This clearly eliminates those who resort to physical violence to settle issues. Interestingly enough, this qualification comes right after the admonition about 2 drinking as it does also in Titus 1:7. I don’t think that’s coincidence. Alcohol is often behind the ill-advised decision to resort to physical violence. True story. A husband and wife both arrived at the ER with gunshot wounds. The wife forgot to set the alarm for his first day on a new job. Things heated up to the point where he shot her in the arm. Not to be outdone, she ran to another room, got another weapon and shot him in the arm. The attending nurse said what happened next was like a country song. Both were handcuffed to their respective stretchers when she heard the hus say, “I love you baby, and I’m sorry I shot you.” She replied, “I love you, too, baby. I’m sorry I shot you.” Well, sorry or not, that’s not what we need in leadership. Now, in our day, physical attacks aren’t as prevalent as they might have been in ancient times, but we may be even better at emotional abuse. In our own church, I’ve heard some abusive words spoken that ought not to be, Beloved. We can strike out emotionally as well as physically, and that tendency would exclude one from leadership. We need elders who exemplify Spirit-filled control. Someone once lashed out at a meeting in MacArthur’s church. He stood and said, “We don’t talk that way here. This meeting is over until we can speak without lashing out at each other.” That’s God’s kind of leader. I. Gentle -- ἐπιεικής – Courteous, tolerant, yielding -opposite of the spitfire. We need leaders who are kind and gentle, even yielding, with those who disagree. A forbearing spirit – providing an example for all of us to follow. That does not mean they cave on everything. A man of God would never compromise on an ethical or major issue of orthodoxy. But neither will he insist on his rights when major issues are not at stake. A pugnacious, violent person will take offense at the drop of a hat. Not a gentle person. I Cor 6:7: “The very fact that you have lawsuits among you mean you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” Do you see his point? They were so intent on getting their rights that they were going to court. They were going to win at all costs – and Paul says, “Don’t you get it? The very fact that you are going to court against each other means you’ve already lost. You lose, even if you win. Why? Bc you’ve put your own interests above God and others. Just mark down an F for yourself right now.” A gentle person would never compromise the gospel, approve immoral conduct or permit false teaching. But even then, he’d fight with forethought, kindness and gentleness, not anger. 3 The Bible is replete with examples of gentle but strong leaders. When Abraham gave Lot his choice of pastureland – gentle leadership. As when Jonathan gave up his kingship rights knowing God selected David. When Joseph took no revenge on brothers who had wronged him grievously. Combative leadership leads to disunity. Gentleness disarms many battles before they begin. One police officer told how he defuses things: “I always speak a little softer than the person I’m speaking to.” That’s the spirit God wants in those representing Him in leadership – an example for all to follow. J. Not Quarrelsome – This guy is not a striker – not physically threatening, but he’s contentious. He’ll argue about everything. He’s the kind of guy when you see him coming you want to run the other way bc you know he’ll have some bone to pick – something that’s not quite right. He’s quarrelsome. Jesus says in Mt 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” This guy is the opposite. Rather than make peace, he stirs up trouble. Nothing’s ever quite right to him. Tom is a smart businessman, pres of his own company. He enjoys being top dog and having a staff to carry out his wishes. So he gets asked to serve as an elder; he’s a business success. But while he thrives in calling all the shots, when he’s just one among equals, he’s cantankerous. He disputes any idea that is not his. Always ready to argue Tom is, Beloved, quarrelsome, contentious. A contentious person insists on his own way, even on minor issues of theology or practice. As one author says, “He is disputatious!” Ever meet anyone like that? It is usually a cover for insecurity, but it’s devastating to group unity. It is, therefore, a quality to avoid in appointing elders. A contentious attitude negates all other good qualities. Abe Lincoln was once asked to sign a dishonorable discharge for Madison Cutts for among other things, quarreling with other officers. Lincoln knew Cutts, brother of Adele Cutts Douglas, wife of his longtime rival, Stephen A. Douglas. Rather than dismiss him, Lincoln wrote a fatherly letter in which he said, “You have shown too much promise as an officer for your future to be lightly surrendered.” He quoted Hamlet, “Beware of entrance to a quarrel,” then added his own advice: “Quarrel not at all!” Quarreling negates all the good that a man might do. So an elder must not be quarrelsome. “Quarrel not at all”: that’s the spirit God’s seeks in leaders. Elders lead us all in practicing Prov 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” One of my mom’s favorite verses, and with 11 kids, you can imagine why! 4 K. Not Greedy – αφιλαργυρος – comprised of φιλεω, to love or befriend, and αργυρος, silver. So, not a friend or lover of silver. It doesn’t say, “no money” – just that it is not the love of his life. Our problem is, we assume if a man has lots of money, it’s a sign of God’s blessing. It’s at least a sign that he’s smart and a good manager, powerful, so he must be a good leader. We make an elder of him bc of his success – never asking, is success his idol? Is money his God? Os Guinness says, “If a man is drunk on wine, you’ll throw him out. But if he is drunk on money, you’ll make him an elder or deacon.” That would be a totally wrong qualifier. Having money doesn’t qualify one for leadership. Neither does not having money. The issue is how much someone loves money – which can be true whether one has it or not. God knows money is dangerous, and the love of money destroys lives. I Tim 6:10: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” Strong language – God sharing truth with us for our own good, right? He says in Heb 13:5: “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” In other words, “Put your confidence in me – not money. If you have it, great; if you don’t, great. Either way, don’t let it capture you; let me capture you. Money will eventually leave you; I never will.” If God says that to believers in general, it goes double for leaders. God’s leadership test is, does the elder have money or does money have him? Is he generous or greedy? Here’s an acid test. If God gives money to someone, He also gives the gift of giving. That’s right. He says to the rich in I Tim 6:18: “They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share.” You can be rich and not love money – but you’ll spread it around. A lover of money cannot be God’s man; he’s already given his heart to another. When it comes to leadership, we want neither the poor man whose attention is fixed on getting money, nor the rich man whose money has him. God’s looking for the Prov 30:8 man: “Give me neither poverty nor riches.” In other words, don’t let me get distracted by money either way. An ancient king was dreadfully sick and told by a soothsayer that the only cure was to find a contented man, get his shirt and wear it day and night. So servants were sent out to find such a man. Months passed before the servant finally returned – without a shirt. The king asked, “Did you not find a contented man in all my realm?” They replied, “Yes, Your Majesty, we found only one.” “Then why did you not bring back his shirt?” They replied, “Master, that man had no shirt.” That would define a leader’s attitude toward 5 money. He can take it or leave it – like Paul in Phil 4:11) Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12) I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” That’s the fit attitude of a man of God. Conc – So those are the moral qualifications for an elder. What a list! Sexually pure, self-controlled because he is Spirit-filled, well-respected in the neighborhood, hospitable, a teacher of the Word, not a drinker, not contentious, but gentle – and not a lover of money. Obviously no one will meet those requirements perfectly, but God put them there and that means we must take them seriously. This describes a man who is growing in all of these areas to be more and more like the Master. Dr. Charles Weigle, best known for his song, “No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus,” was preaching at a Bible conference in Pasadena one time. He spent one afternoon visiting some of the famous rose gardens in and around the city. That night a number of people inquired about how he enjoyed the lovely gardens. Mystified, he asked how they knew where he had been. The response: “You have brought the fragrance of the flowers with you.” So a man who spends time with the Christ will bring the fragrance of the Savior with him – more and more. Those are the men God wants and the men we need to affirm as leaders. It is also the kind of people we all must strive to be. Let’s pray. 6