WHO IS PUSHING YOUR BUTTONS?
Anger • Sermon • Submitted
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EPHESIANS 4:25-32;5:1-2
EPHESIANS 4:25-32;5:1-2
Introduction:
Introduction:
Have you ever been at an airport during a storm when flights are delayed or canceled? People become extremely angry about things over which no one has control.
Anger is incredibly powerful and lethally dangerous. We live in an angry society. And, anger is irrational. It doesn’t take counsel of the future, of personal safety, or of another’s circumstances. Anger is the corrosive material that damages both the container and the one it is released upon.
Is anger always wrong? No.
God is slow to respond in anger. His anger is balanced with His love and grounded in His holiness.
Before we are too quick to justify our anger, let’s look at God’s example and characteristics of right anger.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
17 And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that thou didst among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not.
3 The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, And will not at all acquit the wicked: The Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, And the clouds are the dust of his feet.
18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
11 A fool uttereth all his mind: But a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
I. Is There Such a Thing as “Sinless Anger?”
I. Is There Such a Thing as “Sinless Anger?”
Yes. Our text admonishes us to be angry and sin not. What does this kind of anger look like?
Looking at our perfect Example, we see that the anger of Christ was never in response to a wrong done to Him, but instead was a response to an offense committed against God’s righteousness.
Look at how He responded to offenses committed against Himself.
First of Two Temple cleansings:
First of Two Temple cleansings:
13 And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, 14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: 15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables; 16 And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise. 17 And his disciples remembered that it was written, The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.
His arrest, trial, beatings, crucifixion:
His arrest, trial, beatings, crucifixion:
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
The word reviled means to “heap abuse upon.”
When we have abuse (or perceived abuse) heaped upon us we want to respond in like fashion.
Aristotle said, “A man who is angry on the right grounds, against the right persons, in the right manner, at the right moment, and for the right length of time deserves great praise.”
This was the demonstration of the life of Christ.
II. What Are the Characteristics of Sinless Anger?
II. What Are the Characteristics of Sinless Anger?
A. Sinless anger is unselfish
A. Sinless anger is unselfish
Responsive anger, sinful anger, is always rooted in self-interest. Often we are angry because we have been wronged, our pride is offended, or we’re displeased about something.
Sinless anger is not concerned with what others have done to us.
B. Sinless anger does not nurse grudges (doesn’t keep a fire going)
B. Sinless anger does not nurse grudges (doesn’t keep a fire going)
Illustration: When a camp fire dies down, all you need to do is poke it a little and blow on it to get it to flare back up with a vengeance. So it is with many people and their anger. For some, the slightest poke, a little fuel, or a gentle breeze can start a fire that is not easily quenched.
Any anger that is nursed without being dealt with is in danger of becoming vengeance.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Over time, the giant of anger transforms itself into another giant—bitterness.
Like a bird that builds its nest one stick at a time, any noted wrong begins to build a home for nursing a grudge and becomes a base from which we launch our anger.
And, once a nest is built, you will begin to lay some eggs that are going to hatch and fly out to places beyond your control.
C. Sinless anger is purposeful
C. Sinless anger is purposeful
Anger without purpose is not a rebuke, it’s a tantrum.
Jesus’ anger in the temple in John chapter 2 was for the purpose of cleansing. It was not because He had been personally wronged, but because of a wrong committed against the holiness of God.
Sinless Anger is purposeful, focused, directed, and OVER!
This was not something He nursed.
Collected experiences not dealt with accumulate in our emotions until the pressure can no longer be contained and sometimes it spews out on the one closest to us at the time. If anger is not directed it’s a tantrum, and that means something is going on inside.
Because Christ’s anger was purposeful, it was also controlled.
When you begin to speak in a way that is out of control, when your emotions are out of control, when your conversation goes somewhere that is uncontrolled, this is not sinless anger. It is destructive and unusable. It is probably more like a tantrum than any type of righteous indignation.
III. Warnings Regarding Anger
III. Warnings Regarding Anger
God repeats many warnings about anger throughout Scripture.
Turn and Read-Colossians 3:8
8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Often, we try to simply curb our anger. When willpower hinders or masks our rage, anger smolders beneath the surface and the teeth of our soul begin to grind with frustration. Our anger surfaces in tears that look more like hurt. However, we have learned that this is another way to hurt back.
Anger may come out as silence because we have resolved not to fight.
It may show up in constant criticism and relentless correction.
It may strike out at persons that have nothing to do with its origin.
It may show up in feigned, faked, or over exaggerated sickness.
For the average church member: It may show up in skipped church services…a lack of giving…a quitting an area of service…a walking past the pastor…
It reveals itself with language that is uncontrolled and often vile. It is seen with damaged knuckles or broken things that find themselves unfortunate to have been around us. It will often feel warranted by the wrongness of the cause.
We must recognize that good anger among fallen people is rare.
That’s why James says:
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
A. How do we most often demonstrate our anger?
A. How do we most often demonstrate our anger?
•Withdrawal/Isolation-no communication
•Yelling/Shouting-name calling
•Threats
•Loss of control (throwing things)
•Shoving/Slapping/Punching
All of the above representations of anger are wrong. Withdrawal is just as destructive to a relationship as violence. Ask someone who has experienced ongoing isolation from their spouse.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Defined= Let all bitterness, and wrath (boiling), and anger (indignation), and clamour (an outcry), and evil speaking (injurious speech), be put away from you, with all malice (desire to injure):
Notice, it doesn’t say, “control your anger.” Instead, it says, “put it away.”
Notice, it doesn’t say, “control your anger.” Instead, it says, “put it away.”
Some people say, “My anger doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Illustration: Have someone stand against a wall. Start shooting a gun all around them. Ask if they feel okay because none of the bullets have hit them. The reality is that they would be terrified.
One of the greatest battles of life is the battle to “put away anger,” not just control its expressions.
B. Weapons to fight anger
B. Weapons to fight anger
1. Commit your rights to God.
1. Commit your rights to God.
a. What really makes you angry? Usually, these things are your personal rights. (He had no right to talk to me that way…).
a. What really makes you angry? Usually, these things are your personal rights. (He had no right to talk to me that way…).
Most of the time our “righteous indignation” is simply pride.
Moses said, “Must we fetch you water out of this rock.”
7 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, 8 Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth his water, and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink. 9 And Moses took the rod from before the Lord, as he commanded him. 10 And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? 11 And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also. 12 And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them. 13 This is the water of Meribah; because the children of Israel strove with the Lord, and he was sanctified in them.
Our anger comes from an improper view of self.
b. Transfer your rights to God.
b. Transfer your rights to God.
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
2. Correct yourself before you correct others.
2. Correct yourself before you correct others.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
We usually blame our anger on others. But, this simply cannot be the case. Others only have the ability to draw out what is already inside of us.
No one can really make you angry. If you become angry it’s because you had anger already within you, and allowed someone else to pull it out of you. But no one really makes you angry.
3. Allow your anger to reveal hidden areas of pride and self-pity.
3. Allow your anger to reveal hidden areas of pride and self-pity.
These areas are not pleasant to look at. When we see others being controlled by anger, we see a picture of something deeper. Take an honest look at yourself and the hidden areas of your life that we seldom pry open.
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and evaluate your heart.
Evaluate yourself by 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
4. Consider the door that anger opens.
4. Consider the door that anger opens.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil.
Illustration: Have you ever known someplace to have “too much” storage space? If you build it, you will soon find “stuff” to fill it. Rehearsed anger is a great pitfall that allows Satan to come in and occupy our hearts when we make room for him.
5. Console yourself in the fact that God will settle your accounts.
5. Console yourself in the fact that God will settle your accounts.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
REC̵´OMPENSE, v. t. [Fr. recompenser; re and compenser.]
1. To compensate; to make return of an equivalent for any thing given, done or suffered; as, to recompense a person for services, for fidelity or for sacrifices of time, for loss or damages.
Illustration: Pastor David Jeremiah tells the story of unintentionally cutting off another car from a fast-food drive up window line. The woman in the car rolled down her window, cussed at him, and gave him unkind looks—he said it was a multi-media event because she used many different mediums of communication. When he got up to the window before her, he got his food and then asked if he could pay for the person’s order behind him as well.
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
Conclusion:
Conclusion:
The world should be able to expect Christians to be distinctly different from what they are accustomed to.
When you are mistreated, are you responding as is expected, or is your response a clear indication that you are filled with something other than yourself?
Jesus countered evil with goodness. Even in His dying breaths, He offered words of forgiveness to those who had been consumed with their own anger.
When we begin to offer good for evil, peace for violence, kindness for harm, and gentleness for harshness, we are a living demonstration of the miracle that has taken place within us.
and is now evidenced around us.
The Unruly Giant of anger, temper will reveal that which is in the heart…
For the one that is a born again Christian; there is help available in the person of the Holy Spirit of God as we yield to His direction…
For the one without Christ…anger is the least of your problems…