Principles for the Christian Life

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Introduction:

The book of Proverbs is a book for living the Christian life.
The whole purpose of the book of Proverbs is so that we will become wise in not only our deals with God, but also our dealings with other people.
In fact, the book begins with the purpose of the book.
Proverbs 1:2–4 AV
To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
This book is written by Solomon, the third King of Israel to his son, in order that his son may escape many of the traps that he fell in himself.
And if Christians would heed and follow the principles that are written in this book then our lives would be lived much better.
In this passage that we are looking this month, we are going to be looking at the Principles for the Christian life.
And like so many other passages, Solomon teaches his son these principles through the means of comparisons.
This is like this, but this is like this.
In fact, as we saw in this last passage on Proverbs, the word “Proverbs” means “to be like.”
So, we are about to delve into a passage that is filled with instruction for us on how to deal with an argumentative person, how to mend a situation where there has been trouble, etc.
Solomon begins with this very important principle on the tongue.

I. The Practiced Language (vs. 1)

Proverbs 15:1 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tendency of man is when he is verbally assaulted is to assault back.
If you speak to me discourteous, then I will return the favor.
If you argue with me, then I will argue back.
If you assail me verbally, then I will assail you back verbally.
If you make a point in an argument, then even if I am dead wrong, I will make a point just so it does not appear that I have lost the argument.
That is the tendency of man, argue, argue, argue.
Man’s natural inclination is to give into irritation, to justify oneself, and to insist on having the last word.
And the problem is that pride and passion on both sides are like fire and gas.
The natural inclination is to indulge is sarcasm as if we would rather lose a friend than miss a scoring point in an argument.
Yet that is not the principle that we are given for how God tells us to live.
Proverbs 26:20 AV
Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
Proverbs 26:21 AV
As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.
Proverbs 16:28 AV
A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Psalm 41:7 AV
All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt.
I want you to understand that great damage can be done with the tongue.
Proverbs 15:18 AV
A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
Yet, the Word of God gives us a vastly different command on this.
Proverbs 15:1 AV
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
The way that a person answers another person will have an effect on the response.
The word “soft” in our text means “to be gentle.”
Now, this goes against the grain of everything that is called human.
When someone lashes out at us, the inclination is to lash out back, not to give a gentle answer.
Because, to our humanly perverted way of thinking believes that if I give a gentle answer than that shows me to be weak.
In fact, the text says that that kind of answer will turn away wrath.
In fact, the gentle answer will restore good temper and reasonableness.
A good illustration of this is in Judges 8.
In the book of Judges chapter 7, Gideon and his 300 man army fought and defeated the people of Midian.
And then as you come to chapter 8, the people of Ephraim are upset with Gideon that he did not call on them to fight the battle as well.
Judges 8:1 AV
And the men of Ephraim said unto him, Why hast thou served us thus, that thou calledst us not, when thou wentest to fight with the Midianites? And they did chide with him sharply.
The phrase “chide with him sharply” means “to accuse him repeatedly.”
Notice Gideon’s wisdom in his response.
He could have easily responded, ‘Well, I believe that I am the captain of the army and so I will decide who fights what and you would do well to just listen to me, since I am the one that God has put in charge.”
But he did not do that, he lived the principle of Proverbs 15.
Judges 8:2 AV
And he said unto them, What have I done now in comparison of you? Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the vintage of Abiezer?
Gideon said, “listen boys, that little victory that we had was nothing compared to you; in fact, the way that you harvest your grapes is better than anything else that is done by people in my region.
Abiezer was one of the clans of the tribe of Manasseh, of which Gideon was part.
Judges 8:3 AV
God hath delivered into your hands the princes of Midian, Oreb and Zeeb: and what was I able to do in comparison of you? Then their anger was abated toward him, when he had said that.
He says, “listen, God has blessed you and has allowed to kill two princes of Midian.”
But currently Gideon had only captured one.
He says, “I have nothing in comparison to that.”
And then notice the last part of verse 3.
Judges 8:3 AV
God hath delivered into your hands the princes of Midian, Oreb and Zeeb: and what was I able to do in comparison of you? Then their anger was abated toward him, when he had said that.
Gideon was able to handle the anger and the harsh words of the people of Ephraim by using gentle words.
A wrong example of this principle is found in Judges 12, and ironically, dealing with the same people, Ephraim, but will a totally different outcome.
Again, the people of Ephraim are upset that they were not called to engage in the battle with Amnon.
Judges 12:1 AV
And the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and went northward, and said unto Jephthah, Wherefore passedst thou over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didst not call us to go with thee? we will burn thine house upon thee with fire.
The people of Ephraim were so anger at the action of Jephthah that they threatened to burn his house.
Now, Jephthah did not use gentle words, but instead, used accusatory language.
Judges 12:2 AV
And Jephthah said unto them, I and my people were at great strife with the children of Ammon; and when I called you, ye delivered me not out of their hands.
“Well, I called you for help one time and what good did that do? You were no good to me at all and you did not help me at all.”
Judges 12:3 AV
And when I saw that ye delivered me not, I put my life in my hands, and passed over against the children of Ammon, and the LORD delivered them into my hand: wherefore then are ye come up unto me this day, to fight against me?
“Why would I call you again, you did not help the last time.”
Now, I want you to see the principle of Proverbs 15:1 lived and shown in the Scripture.
Look at the response of Ephraim at the Jephthah’s harsh words.
Judges 12:4 AV
Then Jephthah gathered together all the men of Gilead, and fought with Ephraim: and the men of Gilead smote Ephraim, because they said, Ye Gileadites are fugitives of Ephraim among the Ephraimites, and among the Manassites.
“Fugitives of Ephraim” is like saying that you are disloyal and we are better than you.
We are superior people that you are, Jepthah.
And the ensuing harsh words of Jepthah at an accusation, caused more harsh words from Ephraim, when caused a war.
You see, that a gentle word turns away anger, but harsh words stir it up.
1 Samuel 25:10–13 AV
And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be? So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings. And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword. And they girded on every man his sword; and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff.
We need to cultivate the ability by the Grace of God to turn away harsh words, with gentle words, to ward off trouble.

One of Abraham Lincoln’s earliest political enemies was Edwin M. Stanton. He called Lincoln a “low cunning clown” and “the original gorilla.” “It was ridiculous for people to go to Africa to see a gorilla,” he would say, “when they could find one easily in Springfield, Illinois.” Lincoln never responded to the slander, but when, as president, he needed a secretary of war, he chose Stanton. When his incredulous friends asked why, Lincoln replied, “Because he is the best man.” Years later, as the slain president’s body lay in state, Stanton looked into the coffin and said through his tears, “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.”

You see, the soft answer of Lincoln, made what was once a bitter enemy, a friend.
Your gentle answer will turn away harsh words.
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