Friends: How to be one

How to be a good friend

When we think about friends is something we all desire right? We all want friends. Later on we’re going to discuss why we need them but we call all agree to some extent we all desire to have friends.

Who has ever heard, in order to have a friend you have to be a good friend. That is true. If you want to have good friends, you have to start by being a good friend yourself.

Tonight we are going begin our series on Friends by asking the question “How to be a good friend?”

In your own words, what does it take to be a good friend?

Has making friends or being a good friend been difficult during COVID-19?

What are some challenges that you have faced with friendship during COVID-19?

Over the next three weeks we are going to look at a story in the Old Testament about two guys who were very close friends. We are going to see how we can model our friendships from their’s. We are going to find out tonight, how can I be a good friend even during a pandemic where I may not get to see my friends as much as I used to.

David and Jonathan

David was just a shepherd when until he did what? (Killed Goliath) Right? David then came to the king, Saul, carrying Goliath’s head.

Turn to 1 Samuel 18 and lets read.

Read 1 Samuel 18:1-8

The first thing we notice Jonathan doing in order to be a good friend is what?

We are good friends by loving others as ourself (1 Samuel 18:1)

How many people do you know that you love as much as you love yourself?

Wouldn’t it be great if all of our friends loved us as much as they loved themselves? Our friends think the same thing about us. In order to be a good friend we must love our friends as we love ourselves. What does that mean though and how do we do that?

When I was about 12 years old me and my friend Jacob and Taylor were playing in the woods. All of the sudden we heard a crackling. We looked up and a tree was beginning to fall. Taylor ran out of the way because he had seen the tree falling. However, Jacob didn’t see nor hear the tree. I ran across the creek, jumped, and tackled Jacob out of the way of the tree. Now, Jacob’s life could’ve been spared because of my actions, I doubt it but it could’ve been. At this moment I put Jacob’s interest above my own. My shoes got wet, my pants were muddy, I hurt my arm. I put Jacobs well being above all that.

Now, not everyday will we encounter an event like this. Where we literally have to risk our lives in order to save one of our friends but there are ways in which, everyday, we choose to love our friends more than ourselves. Somebody give me some examples. (Checking up on someone, asking them to hangout, calling them, asking them how you can pray for them AND ACTUALLY PRAYING FOR THEM!!, )

Imagine this; if we loved our friends as much as we loved ourselves and they loved us as much as they loved themselves then we are covered. We don’t have to look out for our best interest because our friends have that covered for us.

Why is this hard to do? Because we are taught and our hearts want us to be number one. We think if my friend doesn’t benefit me then why are we friends. She talked bad about me, I’m going to talk bad about her. He doesn’t invite me to hangout I’m not going to invite him to hangout. We put ourselves before others instead of the other way around. We’ll see later on how Jonathan put these words to practice in a situation that he and David have to deal with.

We are good friends by following Jesus (1 Samuel 18:12)

Read 1 Samuel 18:12

David and Jonathan were both good friends. We see that Jonathan had a selfless love for David and now we see a characteristic of David that made him a good friend, “The LORD was with him”.

In order to be a good friend you must know Jesus Christ.

I just want to read some verses about being a good friend

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourself.

Do you think we could do any of these things without knowing Jesus?

Maybe you’re in a spot right now where you are questioning why you don’t have many friends or why your friends have hurt you. Knowing Jesus leads to solid friendships.

One of the best things you’ll ever be able to offer your friends is telling them about Jesus Christ.

These are my best friends:

These are our best friends. This is Chazz and Bethany. They have a baby on the way. Chazz is a worship leader and Bethany leads and sings most Sundays. This is Reaganne. She actually replaced me when we left SC to come here. This is her boy friend Noah who works closely with the youth group there in SC. The best reason these guys are our friends is because of their love for Jesus Christ. One of the best memories I have with them is sitting around our kitchen table and each one of us went around and shared what Jesus had done for us. They were in our wedding, they were there when Dawson was born. When we lost Riley they were one of the first people we saw.

Proverbs 18:24 Tells us that a true friend is closer than a brother. Next week we are going to talk about how to pick friends and what kind of friends we should have. But we should start tonight by being a good friend.