Marriage, Divorce, and Re-Marriage

Marriage, Divorce, and Re-Marriage

Introduction:

I. The origin of marriage. (Marriage as a social institution)

* The first marriage was so that the man would not be alone.

(Ge 1:28; 2:18).

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‎18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

* The first marriage had social roles for the man and the woman.

* The first marriage was between a man and a woman.

* Marriage was the first social institution, introduced by God Himself, and the family is the basis for all social behavior. This remains true for all peoples, in every geographic location.

* Marriage was intended from the very start to limit and control the sexual relationships of humans. All sexual relationships between humans were limited by the institution of marriage. Marriage was called to be “Holy,” which means “Set Apart.”

II. The relationship of Marriage to the Law of Moses.

* Divorce was introduced under the Law of Moses.

* Since Divorce was introduced, then also the rules for re-marriage are introduced as well.

* Jesus speaking of divorce said this of the provision of divorce made in the law of Moses.

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

* The laws concerning divorce in the Old Testament did two things. It provided financially and socially for the party that was being divorced, and it also protected the innocent party in the instance of sexual impurity before and during a marriage.

* In the Old Testament, or the “Old Covenant,” God compared His relationship to the Children if Israel to the relationship of marriage.

III. The relationship of marriage to the new testament church.

* Under the teaching of the New Testament, marriage has a new relationship to Christians.

* In the New Testament, or the “New Covenant,” God the Son, Christ compares His relationship to the New Testament Church to the relationship of marriage.

* To break the teachings of Christ concerning marriage is to defile the illustration of the relationship or Christ to the church.

Paul’s teaching concerning marriage to the Church.

Text: I Corinthians 7

‎(vs. 1) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

* In Verse 1 Paul is saying that it is good not to have sex, that is, to be single and celibate. It is not, however, the only good or even better than marriage. He is just making sure that it is ok to be single.

* Many young people going into full time Christian service and those who find themselves divorced struggle with the idea that it might not be God’s will for them to be married.

‎* These verses elevate singleness, as long as it is celibate, but they in no way teach that marriage is either wrong or inferior.

* Paul also mentions this later in verse 37 of this same chapter:

37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

* Jesus speaking of being single, said to those whom who had asked Him about divorce:

10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them,

All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

(Verse 2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

* Paul's advice to the general population of Christians is to go ahead and marry because of the temptation of fornication. It is important to note here that one of the major reasons for marriage in the first place is to regulate the sexual relationships of humans.

* This principle will come into play even more when Paul later in this chapter discusses the issues of abandonment, and divorce.

* The city of Corinth was a wicked city with all types of sexual sins corrupting the minds of the Corinthians.

* Above the city of Corinth stood the temple of the goddess where all manner of sexual impurity was part of the temple worship.

* 1000 of the most sexually attractive young women of the city lived in this temple and were called priestesses. The goddess of the temple was the goddess that represented sexual fertility. The status of women in the city of Corinth was not much more that a slave. Most Corinthian men had more than one wife. Each man had one wife to keep the house, one to keep the children and so forth. If a Corinthian man wanted sex, all he had to do is go to the temple and have sex with one of the young priestess of the temple, who was a professional sex partner.

* This teaching of the Christians of marriage controlling and limiting the sexual relationships of married couples was an idea that ran counter to the society of the people of Corinth, and so they wrote Paul for clarification of the church’s teaching about marriage.

* Paul's advices to the general population of Christians in the immoral situation to go ahead and marry because of the temptation of fornication.

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(Versees 3-6) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

* Because Paul's reason for marrying is to prevent fornication, he lists some guidelines within marriage that are designed to reduce the temptation to commit sexual sins.

‎Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

‎* Paul says this is not a commandment, but it is a guideline to follow so that Satan will not have an opportunity to tempt either member of the marriage relationship.

(Verse 7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

‎* It is difficult to believe that Paul had always been unmarried because of his background and because of who he was. Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin.

* In Acts 26:10 Paul says, “Which thing I also did in Jerusalem: and many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them.” How could he give his voice against them?

* It was by his vote in the Sanhedrin, which means he was a member of the Sanhedrin. Since Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin, he must have been a married man because that was one of the conditions of membership.

(Verse 8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

Note from John MacArthur about the word unmarried here:

unmarried … widows. “Unmarried” is a term used 4 times in the NT, and only in 1 Corinthians (cf. vv. 11, 32, 34). This verse makes it clear that the unmarried and widows are distinct.

Verse 11 identifies the divorced as the “unmarried” to be distinguished from “widows” (vv. 39, 40; single by death) and virgins (vv. 25, 28; never married).

Each use of “unmarried,” then, refers to those formerly married, presently single, but not widowed.

They are the divorced. It is likely these people who were formerly married wanted to know if they, as Christians, could or should remarry. even as I. Paul was possibly a widower, and could here affirm his former marriage by identifying with the unmarried and widows. His first suggestion is that they stay single because of its freedoms in serving the Lord

(Also see note on verse 34)

‎7:34 The first part of this verse is preferably rendered in some manuscripts, “and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried and the virgin ….” This is important because it distinguishes clearly between the “unmarried” and “virgins,” who, therefore, can’t be the same. “Virgins” are single people never married, while “unmarried” must be single by divorce. Widows is the term for those made single by death (see note on v. 8).

(Verse 9) But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

* Paul here says let those who had been married, but are now not married, marry.

* The Gr. tense indicates a command, since a person can’t live a happy life and serve the Lord effectively if dominated by unfulfilled sexual passion—especially in that Corinthian society, let them go ahead and marry. This would be better than them giving in to the temptations of Corinthian society to live a life of unbridled fornication.

(Verses 10 and 11) And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife

* Paul here says “I command, yet not I.” This means that Jesus has already set forth the commands that married people are not to divorce.

* Notice that the word leave, or depart in this chapter is also used for the word divorce. This word is used as a synonym for divorce, as indicated by the parallel use of the word “divorce,” in verse 11.

‎7:11 remain unmarried.

If a Christian divorces another Christian except for adultery (see notes on Mt 5:31, 32; 19:8, 9), neither partner is free to marry another person. They should reconcile, or at least remain unmarried.

* You might say, well it’s not fair I didn’t want a divorce. Keep in mind, that the man or woman, who forces a divorce on an innocent person, will either commit fornication with another, or re-marry. In either case, the innocent person, because of this will automatically be free to re-marry because of adultery.

* The only situation that a married couple is to be divorced and not allowed to re-marry is the case where two Christians, who have not committed adultery, and refuse to reconcile their differences, divorce or separate. The divorce in this case is unscriptural, and neither the husband nor the wife are permitted to re-marry.

* This is the situation that Jesus was talking about when the Pharisees asked Him about divorce. Listen to the words of Jesus:

Matthew 5:31–32 (KJV 1900)

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Mark 10:2–12 (KJV 1900)

2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:3–12 (KJV 1900)

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

(Verses 12-14) But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

* The Bible plainly teaches that believers are forbidden to marry unbelievers.

2 Corinthians 6:14–18 (KJV 1900)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

* Paul here teaches that a Christian how finds himself married to an unsaved person is not to Devoice them if they are willing to stay in the marriage.

(Verse 15) But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

* the term used here, “let him leave,” is a term referring to divorce. We see the same thing in verses 10 and 11.

* When an unbelieving spouse cannot tolerate the partner’s faith and wants a divorce, Paul teaches that it is best to let the divorce happen in order to preserve peace in the family.

* look at the term “not under bondage in such cases.”

* First of all the word bondage is referring to being bound to one another in the marriage covenant.

*Paul here teaches that if the unbelieving partner refuses to live with the Christian partner and wants out of the marriage, let them divorce. Let them leave the marriage. The Christian is not bound by the marriage covenant to them if they leave.

* This is Paul’s stand on abandonment.

* The Apostle Paul teaches that there are only 3 legitimate reasons for divorce. The bond of marriage is broken only by death (Ro 7:2), adultery (Mt 19:9), or an unbeliever’s leaving.

* In the Bible, when divorce is permitted, remarriage is permitted also. By implication, the permission for a widow to remarry (vv. 39, 40; Ro 7:3) because the “bond” is broken, extends to this case of the unbeliever demanding a divorce. Just like in the case of the death of a mate in Romans 7:3, there is also no bondage to the marriage contract when an unbelieving mate leaves the marriage.

* When the bond is broken in any of those ways, a Christian is free to marry another believer. Throughout Scripture, whenever legitimate divorce occurs, remarriage is assumed.

Quote from J. Vernon McGee:

‎If the unbeliever walks out of the marriage, that is another story. Then the believer is free. Now the question which is asked is whether that one is free to marry again. I believe that under certain circumstances Paul would have given permission for that. I do not think one can put down a categorical rule either way for today. I think that each case stands or falls on its own merits. I’m afraid this can easily be abused, even by Christians. I am afraid sometimes a husband or a wife tries to get rid of the other and forces them to leave in order that they might have a “scriptural ground” for divorce.

* Some in the church may have been reluctant to let go of their unsaved spouse, who wanted out and was creating discord in the home—thinking they could evangelize the spouse by hanging on for the purpose of seeing that one converted. Paul says there are no such assurances and it is better to divorce and be at peace (v. 15), if the unsaved partner wants to end the marriage that way.

(Verse 16) For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

(Verses 17-24) But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. 18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. 21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. 22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. 23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. 24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

* Some believers must have felt that being married to an unbeliever was somehow defiling and they wanted to run out and get a divorce as soon as they got saved.

* However, just the opposite is true (v. 14).

1 Corinthians 7:14 (KJV 1900)

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

(Verses 25-27) Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

* “Now concerning virgins”—several of the translations have it: “Now concerning virgin daughters,” which I think clarifies it. That is really what he is talking about here. * This reveals that Paul knew the commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ and what He taught. However, he specifically says here that concerning virgins he has no commandment of the Lord. “But,” he says, “I give my own judgment.”

(Verse 28) But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

* When a person finds themselves “loosed” from a wife or a husband by death, divorce for adultery, or abandonment, it is ok to remarry- it is not a sin for them to re-marry. And Paul says that it is ok for “virgins,” or those that have never been married, to marry as well.

(Verses 29-35) But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

* Look at the phrase “And they that weep, as though they wept not.” Paul is saying here that we need to be careful that our main priority in life is that we are living for God. Are you going to let some sorrow, some tragedy in your life keep you from serving God? Are you going to let your search for a person to marry get take priority over how you serve the lord in this life: *Paul says ‎“And they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not.” Are you going to let pleasure take the place of your relationship to God, as many do?

* Paul also says here “And they that buy, as though they possessed not.” Will you let your business take the place of God? Many a man has made business his god.

(Verses 36-37) But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

his virgin. That is, a man’s daughter. Apparently in Corinth some of the fathers intending devotion to the Lord, had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord as permanent virgins. past her youth. Fully matured as a woman capable of child-bearing. it must be. When daughters became of marriageable age and insisted on being married, their fathers were free to break the vow and let them marry.

‎7:37 no constraint. This means the father who has kept his daughter a virgin and is not under constraint by the daughter to change his mind, does well to fulfill his desire for her to be singularly devoted to the Lord (v. 34). As with those who remain single (v. 28), the choice was not between right and wrong.

(Verse 39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

* Last of all Paul deals with those who have lost their mate to death. He teaches here that they are free to marry.

* A special note here. In all of Paul’s teaching on marriage in this passage, there is no indication that Paul held the belief that those who are allowed to re-marry have “two living wives.”

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