The Older Son

The Older Son

Luke 15:25-32

“I obey—therefore, I’m accepted” or “I’m accepted—therefore, I obey”?

1.         The Older Son’s Compliance (v. 25)

2.         The Older Son’s Coldness (v. 28)

3.         The Older Son’s Complaint (v. 29-30)

Religion vs. Gospel

What gives you a sense of worth and value? What makes you feel like you matter in the world?

All of us have an answer to that question, and for many of us it changes even daily. The question gets at the heart of our identity—that is, how we view ourselves and what we build our lives upon.

An example of this kind of thinking is in the first Rocky movie, which you all are probably too young to have seen. There’s a scene in that movie where Rocky (the fighter) is talking with his girl Adrian, and she asks him if he thinks he’s going to win a fight in which he was totally overmatched. Rocky was a huge underdog, and he says that winning isn’t his number 1 goal—finishing is. He says that more than anything, he wants the fight to go the distance. And then he says, “Then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

In other words, “If I can just make this fight go the distance, then I’ll know that I’m significant. If I can just go the distance, I’ll know that I’m somebody. If I can just go the distance, then I’ll be able to feel good about myself.”

I want to suggest to you that all of us have something that we are counting on to prove to ourselves that we’re not bums. We could all complete the sentence: “If I can just _____, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.” What would fill in the blank for you?

“If I can just be attractive, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just get that person to like me, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just get good grades, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just make the team, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just win the championship, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just please my parents, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just not screw up too  bad, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just be loved, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

“If I can just meet my goals, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.”

What makes you feel like you’re not a bum?

Whatever your answer to the question is, I want to suggest that it is an idol in your life. It is something that you are living for. It is something that you are worshipping. It is something that you are treating as your functional savior. Sure, you might even say that you are trusting only in Christ for your significance, but if there’s anything that would fill in that blank, it is an idol.

If you derive your value and worth and meaning from anything other than the fact that you are a child of God who is loved and accepted by him because of what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross, you are struggling with idolatry.

And we all do it. Even as I preach this message, I am tempted to think to myself, “If I can just get them to enjoy this message, then I’ll know I’m not a bum.” But if I believe that in my heart, then your approval has become my functional savior. It has become an idol. And rather than living joyfully because of how God loves me, I am building my value on my achievement and what I can do.

This morning we’re going to look at the story of a young man who tragically built his identity on something other than the love he had for his father. This morning we look at the story of the older son.

I want to encourage you this morning in a couple of different ways. If you have ever looked down on another person because you felt superior to them, this story is for you. If you have ever felt proud because you’re not as bad as some of the other people you know, this story is for you. If you have ever felt like God must be mad at you because you haven’t done a good enough job for him, this story is for you. And if you have ever tried to get your sense of value and worth from something other than God’s love for you, this story is for you.

As I said last night, the story of the man with two sons is one of my favorite passages in the Scripture. Part of the reason for that is the amazing story of grace that we looked at last night. It’s the idea that no matter how far away you are from God, you can come home and experience forgiveness and relationship with him. And I love when I hear “younger brother” stories and testimonies. It is so encouraging to hear salvation stories from people who were hooked on drugs or sexually immoral or suicidal. When God embraces people who are clearly a long way off—people known for their sin—and restores them, it is a beautiful thing.

But I don’t have a story like that. Sure, I have many ways that I’ve sinned that I am not proud of. I have no doubt about the depth and guilt of my sin. But, my story is not necessarily a gutter to glory story. I never lived a life that was defined or characterized by an obviously sinful behavior. Like some of you, I grew up in a close family where I was expected to obey and I did. I grew up as a “good kid,” never doing many of the obvious sins that other people got in trouble for.

So, there are two results from my kind of story. The first result is, I have a tendency to forget that I am really, truly sinful. Sometimes I actually begin to think that I am a good person. I start thinking that my moral achievement is somehow impressive to God. The second comes from that one, I begin to base my view of myself and my view of my relationship with God on how “good” I am, and how much “bad” I am avoiding.

That’s why this is one of my favorite stories—it doesn’t just talk about the person who lived in wild, obvious sin. It also speaks to people like me—“good” people. “Moral” people. “Religious” people.

I think it will speak to you too.

You’ll remember that we left off with the younger son returning from his rebellion with grand thoughts of repaying his father the debt he owed, only to find out that his father graciously and amazingly forgave him. not only that, but you’ll remember that the father actually calls for there to be a party thrown in honor of the son’s return. And this is no ordinary party—it involves the fattened calf. In that culture, it was rare for people to eat meat. But, rich families would often have a specific calf that they would fatten and prepare over a number of years in order to eat on a super-special occasion. It is likely that this fattened calf would be enough to feed the entire village, and it’s likely that the father has invited many guests to celebrate the son’s return.

Then, in verses 25-32, we read about the response of the older son. READ LUKE 15:25

1.         The Older Son’s Compliance (v. 25)

The first thing that we should notice here is the older son’s compliance. For one thing, while his younger brother was out living a reckless lifestyle, the older brother is at home working for his father. This older son is so compliant that when the party has already started, he is out working. When all the commotion with the younger son began, it says that the “older son was in the field.”

That seems quite admirable, doesn’t it? After all, this whole mess of a story has been about the screw-up younger son, and now—finally—we have somebody who is working hard and doing his job. Doesn’t that seem like a good thing? Surely the Pharisees and religious people who were hearing this story thought so. I’m sure they found in the older son somebody that they could finally relate to.

In this older brother we finally see somebody who is doing the right thing. While his younger brother was hooking up with girls, he was home milking the goats. While his younger brother was gambling his money away, he was making sure that the fields were being properly cared for. While his younger brother slept in every morning, he was up early doing chores and getting work done. This older brother did tell his father that he wished he was dead. He did not liquidate a third of his father’s hard-earned income. He did not selfishly abandon all the friends and family that cared about him. He did not shamefully move to a gentile country and bring reproach on the family name. This son was always there, always around, always reliable.

Isn’t that admirable?

Well, maybe.

The answer really is, it depends. Obviously, from a human perspective, this older brother is admirable for all the reasons we mentioned. But what about from God’s perspective?

The key issue is, what was the older son’s motivation? Why did he meet his father’s expectations? Did he do what he did because he loved his father and would do anything that would bring his father joy? Or did he do what he did for selfish reasons? Did he joyfully obey motivated by love and admiration for the father? Or did he dutifully comply to his father’s expectations? It’s not so much about what he did or didn’t do—it’s more about why. Was it because his father was so generous and gracious to him that he couldn’t help but do what his father asked? Or was he trying to get a sense of significance and value from his compliance?

The same thing is true in our lives. Obviously, God cares what we do and don’t do. God cares much more about why we live and think and act the way we do. the Bible says that man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

But, as you look at this older brother’s motivation, you begin to see that he’s not really admirable at all. There are a few clues from the son’s reaction to the news about this party that indicate that his motivation was not good.

2.         The Older Son’s Coldness (v. 28)

The first thing you see in this older son is coldness. He hears the news about his brother’s return and his father’s warm treatment and reception, and he gets cold. He gets bitter. He gets angry. You see this in verse 28: “But he was angry and refused to go in.”

As soon as he gets the news, he folds his arms, stomps off and becomes enraged.

Obviously, his father was thrilled about the son’s return. And this older brother likely watched as day after day the father hoped and looked for the younger son to return. So, the older brother knew that the prodigal’s return would bring great joy and pleasure to his father. But he doesn’t rejoice in his father’s joy. He isn’t happy because his father is happy. Instead, he is mad and angry.

You see that he is not at all interested in doing what would please his father just because it would please his father. Instead, you see that all of his obedience and compliance and good behavior has really been motivated by something else—a desire to get things from his father.

3.         The Older Son’s Complaint (v. 29-30)

This brings us to the main thing that demonstrates the older son’s motivation—his complaint. Up to this point, his response to this situation has spoken volumes. And his father comes out and begs him to come in and join the party. But now, out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks. Suddenly, he unleashes a complaint against his father. His true heart and his true motivation comes out.

He begins by saying, “Look...”

When the younger brother came home broken over his sin, he addressed his dad as “Father.” But, here we have the son that has always been home and always been closest to the father, and just says, “Look.” It’s as though the relationship with his father is not even significant. He doesn’t have enough respect to address him as father. Right now, he is just cold and bitter and angry.

Suddenly, we get a full dose of his motivation in verse 29 – “Look, these many years I have served you (literally “slaved for you”), and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours (notice, he doesn’t call him a brother—it’s ‘this son of yours’) came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!”

He says, “Look, I’ve done all this stuff for you. I’ve slaved for you. I’ve done everything you’ve asked. But what have I gotten in return? Nothing. I’ve never gotten what I deserve for all the hard work I’ve put in. I’ve been way better than my loser brother who is now getting the fattened calf that I wanted. I deserve better than this.”

Did the older brother serve and obey his father out of love and a desire to honor and please his father? No. The older brother served his father in order to get things from his father.

I want you to see two very interesting and important things:

a) First, you need to see that both sons used the father in order to get what they really wanted—the father’s things. The younger son tried to use the father by being very bad in order to get a share of the inheritance, while the older brother used the father by being very good in order to get a party and a goat with his friends. Neither son was motivated by his love for the father. They were only motivated by a desire to get things from the father.

This is the same with some of you here in this room. Some of you are very bad and will do anything to get away from authority and oversight, but you still want and expect everything to go your way. You do not care about God or honor God or give credit or glory to God, but if things go bad, you blame God. You don’t really have any interest in having a relationship with God—you just want his stuff. And so, you give God the finger, and you head off and do your own thing, all the while breathing the air that he gives you and using the abilities and gifts that he gives you and using the money that he blesses you with.

On the other hand, some of you are very good and are very compliant to authority and expectations. You do what is asked of you when it is asked of you. You aren’t perceived as a major screw-up and you really try hard to be a good person. But you don’t care about God either. You don’t want a relationship with God—you just want all the good things that come from God. And you figure that it’s probably easier to manipulate God into giving you what you want if you’re good than if you’re bad. You don’t want God—you just want his stuff.

b) Second, you need to see that both of them built their identity on something other than the loving relationship they had with their father. Neither of them were satisfied to feel good about themselves simply because their father loved them—they needed something else. The very, very bad younger son based his identity on his freedom and independence. If he could just be free from the restriction and oversight of his family, then he’d know he was not a bum. On the other hand, the very, very good older son based his identity on his compliance and obedience to the rules. If he could just do all that was asked of him, then he would know he was not a bum. Either way, their sense of value and worth did not come from the father.

There are two ways to avoid having a great relationship with God. One is to be very, very bad and to run off and live your own way. But the other is to be very, very good and to think that you don’t really need God because you already have it all together.

So, we see that both sons were alienated from the father’s heart. The younger son went far away and did many shameful things to alienate himself. The older son stayed close and did everything the rulebook said, and he was still alienated.

In a word, the older son was RELIGIOUS.

Like the Pharisees and religious leaders that were critical of Jesus hanging out with the sinners and wicked people and who based their standing before God on their performance, the older brother’s view of his standing and significance has nothing to do with a love for the father—it has everything to do with his performance.

So, my question for you to consider this morning is, are you living by religion or by the gospel? Is your relationship with God, and your view of yourself, based on the good you do and the bad you avoid, or is it based on what Jesus did for you in spite of all the bad that you do?

Here are some ways to discern whether you have been trusting in religion or the gospel:

I hope you see that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not irreligion (living any way you want) or religion (obeying to be accepted). It is something totally different. It is the idea that you could never, ever be good enough to please God, but that he loved you so much that he sent his only Son to live the perfect life that you couldn’t live and die the death that you deserved to die—but to do it as a substitute for you.

Only when you are gripped by the reality of that truth will you be free from the Rocky syndrome. Only then will you be free to feel loved and valuable and meaningful because of how God loves you, and not because of how you have performed.

So, one final question: How does the story end? Does the older brother repent of his self-righteous religion or does he stay outside and refuse to accept the father’s love?

The answer is: we don’t know. Jesus doesn’t say. He doesn’t finish the story. He leaves us with a bigger cliffhanger than Lost or 24. We’ll always wonder what happened to the older brother.

But the question for you to ponder this afternoon and tonight is, “Have I really accepted the father’s gift of love, or am I counting on my performance to somehow become acceptable enough that God will love me? Is my identity built on my abilities and goals or is it built on what God has done for me?”

Will you come in the house? Will you be reconciled to the father’s heart? Will you abandon your own methods for feeling good about yourself and instead trust only in Jesus?