A Refocused Life: Family by God's Design

Sermon text: Ephesians 6:1-4; Deut. 6:4-9; Matt. 19:13-15

Introduction: “How does it work?” When I was a teenager, there was a scene in the TV show Simpsons where Homer Simpson somehow finds himself alone in the control room of Springfield’s nuclear power plant. Surrounded by switches and illuminated buttons, Homer starts pushing random buttons… alarms flash, sirens bellow. Not knowing what he was doing, Homer initiated a nuclear meltdown at the plant. He obviously didn’t know how everything worked.

“How does it work?” is a question more people should ask about parenting and raising a family. How is life in a healthy family supposed to work? Too often, people today don’t bother to ask the question and instead push random buttons, making a mess of it. For generations, we see the downside of trying to figure it out on our own. In fact, since the Garden of Eden, we have seen sin at the root of the destruction of the family. Today, many factors contribute to its destruction: couples living together before marriage, adultery by individuals in marriage, rampant pornographic use and abuse, homosexuality, unscriptural divorce, and all sorts of sexual immorality. All these sins are like strands in a cord, strangling the family. This is not what God wanted.

Today, in our series, A Refocused Life, we’ll be looking at God’s intent and blessings in creating family. The Apostle Paul states in Ephesians, “I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.” (3:14–15, ESV) God created families and gives us guidance in His Word how to fulfill our roles in families. Today, we’ll see how life in the family was designed to work so that we not only honor our God, but also that we may enjoy the blessings that God intends when we follow God’s Word as His family and as members of our families, as we consider the theme: “A Refocused Life: Family by God’s Design.”

God’s Word gives us three principles about the family life God has designed, through which God brings blessings even in this sin-fallen world. The first is: 1. Take time to teach and learn

Exposition: As we think about our place in our families, ultimately, we have to take time to think about our place in God’s family. Consider how God, our Heavenly Father, takes time to teach us. First, He calls us to be His children. We recognize that we don’t deserve this. As David put it. “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5, NIV84) By God’s undeserved love, He sent Jesus, His Only-Begotten Son, into our world to save us. Through the good news in preaching and in baptism, the Holy Spirit adopts us into God’s family when he creates saving faith in our hearts. But God doesn’t stop there! He continues to teach us through His Word. No matter how old you are, 2 to 102, God still has things to teach you. As long as you are on this planet, He has things for you to learn!

Illustration: The elderly Apostle Peter encouraged believers, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18a, ESV) A more literal translation would be “Keep on growing in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” This is true for every believer. God wants us to keep growing.

Application: If you are literally a child or a teenager, God wants you to keep growing in knowledge of His Word. In fact, God gave you to your parents with the idea that they would teach you. He wants you take your questions, your struggles, your doubts, your emotional and spiritual needs to them. Dads and moms, pay attention, because you are on the other end of this. Think about what God said the people of Israel as He prepared to bring them into the Promised Land. Through Moses, God spoke, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deut. 6:5-7 ESV) The LORD God has not changed. He still wants you, today, to be your children’s main spiritual teachers. The Church is here to help. We have resources like the Catechism, Christian education, Bible studies, worship services. But the Lord puts the primary responsibility on you.

Children are impressionable. They will be learn either the world’s values or those of their Christian parents. It’s wrong to imagine they will have a choice if we refrain from imparting faith values on them. If we do not teach them, Satan and the unbelieving world will gladly take over. So, Take time to teach and learn. That leads us to the second principle about family life God has designed. 2. Care enough to correct and be guided.

Exposition: Again, think about our relationship with our Heavenly Father. He is full of patience, love, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. He also uses our experiences to teach us. He knows that we are often more influenced by what we experience than what we are told, even when we need correction. Hear me on this. Correction is one of the ways He shows us love.

Illustration: Wise Solomon offered this advice: “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:11–12, NIV84)

Application: Dads and moms, God cared enough to correct you – in fact, He still does. Care enough to correct your children. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them God’s Word. But be patient with them. Remember how patient God has been with you. In the Epistle lesson, Ephesians 6, notice what the Apostle Paul said, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Kids and teens, listen, because God is talking to you too. He wants you to be guided by your parents. Take their instruction and discipline as love. In that same chapter of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul talks to children who would have been in the congregation, in the church, when this letter was read. He wrote: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” God wants to bless you, and sometimes that means He is going to correct you through your parents or other authorities.

We are all children in God’s family. Parents, think about that. In 200 years, what is really going to matter? These children God has entrusted to you, are His. They are your little brothers and sisters in Christ. Put the day to day effort in the broader scope. Remember, God is patient and persistent with us. Patiently and persistently correct. Kids, be humble enough to be guided by your parents, trusting God who gave them to you.

That point leads us to the third and last principle about the family-life God has designed, through which God brings blessings even in this sin-fallen world. 3. Spend time nourishing your relationships.

Exposition: Let’s revisit Ephesians 6:4, where the Apostle Paul said, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In the last part, the command translated “bring them up” comes from the verb “to nourish; to nurture.” What God is saying is that your spiritual relationship as family is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort.

Application: Parenting cannot be done on “auto-pilot.” You have only a few brief years with your kids. Everything else in life can wait until after they leave the house. We don’t get do-overs with parenting; now is the time. Sit down with your kids at dinner. Read a bedtime story, maybe even a Bible story or devotion. Pray with them. Bless them. Give a long hug when they are hurting. Bring them to church. Godly parenting comes at a high cost: time, energy, attention, and focus are to be given if you want your child to know the God of love. You cannot put it off till next year. The rewards are eternal. When you are enjoying eternity in heaven together, you will never regret the time you invested here on earth.

Our children need to hear of a Savior who loved them enough to take the punishment for their sins without protest; was courageous enough to be crucified for them so that they could have peace with God their Creator. Parents, especially fathers, don’t be harsh with your children, coming down hard on them when they sin. Take them by the hand and lead them to the Savior’s waiting arms. Tell them that you forgive them and the God forgives. That doesn’t mean there will not be consequences, but it is not about shaming them. It is about taking our sins to Jesus and finding peace in the forgiveness He offers. That is the freedom God gives to all His children. These are the lessons our children, and our children’s children, should know. These are the lessons that should be shared when you sit at home and when you are out and about.

Now, maybe you are single or maybe your kids have all grown up and left home. What is God teaching you? Well, He still wants you to know His design and to encourage those who have families at home. You can teach your grandkids, nieces, nephews. You can pray for them. You can offer time to help with teaching the next generation here at Trinity. You can support the church and school ministry with financial gifts and support Christian education for other families, because they are your family in Christ. We are all in God’s family. We are all in this together.

Maybe you are a parent of adult children and you raised them in the faith, but now, as adults, they are not coming to church or have even told you that they have doubts or don’t believe any more. It hurts. But, remember who made the promise in baptism: God did. He claimed your son or daughter and He is not going to give up on them, neither should you. Keep praying and as you have opportunity, speak the truth in the love. Keep loving them.

Conclusion: We who have received the grace to be called the children of God, who have been forgiven much, we know how patient God has been in teaching us through His Spirit. Some lessons have been hard. Some have been painful. Some have seemed so impossible that we must have wondered if it would be easier for God to just give up on us, but He never does. He never will.

When children honor their parents, and when parents, especially fathers, teach their children God’s Word and model it for them, families work more like God intended them to work. The blessings He promises also follow. When we live A Refocused Life: Family by God’s Design, then our homes become an oasis of safety, learning, and love, a picture of our Heavenly Home that awaits us all, through Jesus Christ, our Savior. Let us follow that design for Jesus’ sake. Amen.