Moving Forward With A God Honoring Marriage

Introduction: It is without a doubt that when a pastor treads out on the topic of divorce, people become very nervous about how he will articulate the biblical teaching. In my observance of many (not all) preachers, they will approach related texts with a harsh tyrannical view and ignore the Lord’s entire address to the issue.

Quote: He made statements in terms of black and white with no shades of gray because He was giving the laws of the kingdom, the laws of God. He was teaching the law as seen by One in whom is no variableness, neither shadow caused by turning. The sermon on the mount is the law not just in letter, but in spirit as well; the law not as interpreted by the rabbis, but as interpreted by the sinless Son of God. The religious leaders of His day (as so often in our day) saw things in terms of relative morality. Jesus saw things in terms of Heaven’s absolutes.

The overarching claim: No matter where you relate to this text, there is application for you that you might (from your present status) please and honor God. This text is not to isolate people in efforts to embarrass them, but rather lead them to the forgiving, empowering and equipping grace of God.

1) The Beginning (vs) The Fall

A. Marriage was God’s idea

Like many times, the religious crowd was trying to trap Jesus in an ongoing argument.

Jesus by passed the argument and went back to the beginning.

According to God’s plan, when a man marries, he establishes a bond with his wife of such a nature that she is as much a part of him as his own body is.

The original intent was that one man would be married to one woman until death dissolved the relationship. So the Lord made His own authoritative decree: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6)

The very nature of “oneness” was created by God - Gen 2:21-25 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; [22] And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. [23] And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. [24] Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. [25] And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Initially marriage was not a civil contract made by man. Marriage was God’s plan for the human race. It was not something that man could repeal or dissolve.

B. Sin was man’s idea

In the context of the sinless perfection that prevailed at the beginning, there could be no question of divorce. The need for it would never arise. But man is no longer living in paradise.

Every believer in every marriage feels the pressure of temptation. Evil is always lurking!

Jesus knew good and well that humanity no longer has a perfect heart nor are they surrounded by the ideal atmosphere to promote a long lasting marriage.

Therefore, Moses petitioned God for a particular provision; a right of divorcement. (19:8)

The Mosaic law then was an accommodation to the hardness of the human heart. Divorce was a lesser evil than wife abuse or lawless liaisons. Moses could not hope to change men’s hearts. He could only try to mitigate the hardness by allowing divorce and regulating its practice.

2) The Clarity Of Divorce

A. There was existing confusion

There were two schools by two different Rabbi. Those men were Rabbi Hillel and Rabbi Shammai.

Hillel - very lax, husbands could divorce his wife for almost any reason

Shammai - the stricter view, Jesus was speaking about sexual sins.

B. Jesus establishes the truth

Jesus is now speak to the situation when the divine ideal is broken beyond repair by immorality of one of the partners.

He simply states that if the “man” treats divorcement flippantly, would be guilty of cause their wife to commit adultery.

Once again, here is another illustration of how the leadership of the man impacts the entire family.

The Lord thus graciously provided a way of escape for the innocent party.

He or she is allowed an unencumbered divorce and is free to remarry—in contrast to one who seeks to end a marriage on other and frivolous grounds.

Adultery breaks the marriage bond and the consequent divorce sets the injured partner free to marry again.

No one has any right to cast stones at such an individual or to treat the innocent party as though he or she were the guilty party.

Some Christians hold a particularly harsh and tyrannical view that ignores the Lord’s escape clause for the innocent victim of a broken marriage.

For those who takes such a position, here is a riddle for you to answer: A woman suffers for years because of the infidelity of her husband. In the end he is publicly exposed and sued for molesting young teens. The woman seeks refuge in divorce and begins to pick up the shattered fragments of her life. At this point her husband abandons her and leaves her to get along as best she can. Eventually she meets a man who proposes marriage. He is an itinerant servant of the Lord, a man she honors and respects. The woman, according to the Lord’s own rule, is an innocent victim; she has Scriptural grounds for fifty divorces. So the marriage takes place. Almost at once the man receives a letter from a group of professing Christians to whom he has ministered on many occasions; he is told that he will no longer be welcome as a speaker in their church because his wife has two living husbands. The poor woman now has a new cross to carry. She is made to feel that she is some kind of pariah. Such heartlessness is not the spirit of Christ.

3) Truths For Continuing In Marriage

Let us revisit my opening claim. Can a present day marriage go forward honoring God? YES!

First of all, there are some true characteristics of marriage one must embrace.

Lastly, I want to share some eternal promises that are given to you by God.

A. Characteristics of marriage

Marriage is a divinely appointed union

God controls it’s character / No court of law can!

It is a physical union

Not just of the mind and heart.

The basic union in marriage is physical.

It is a permanent union

God’s original plan / one man and one women spend one life together.

Enter into without reservations.

It is a union between one man and one woman

God did not create marriage for two men and two women.

NO group marriage or gay marriage or any other variation.

NO psychologist or jurist determines that.

The true blessing in marriage is about that marriage honoring God.

B. Steps in the right direction

1. If you have committed adultery, God loves you and is ready to forgive you.

2. Men, surrender your leadership to God’s nature and not your own.

3. Love each other as you love yourself.

4. Pray for God to help you love your spouse through every circumstance.

Illustration: Newspaper columnist George Crane told the story of a wife who came into his office wanting to divorce her husband. She said, “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.”

Dr. Crane suggested a brilliant plan “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.”

With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!” And she did it with enthusiasm. For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn’t return, Crane called. “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?”

“Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him.” Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.

Conclusion: Divorce and adultery can be avoided going forward in your marriage only if you “take personally” Jesus divine mandate of marriage. What step is God laying before you today to start or continue that journey of a Godly marriage? Be a Christian that makes Heavenly decisions!