Adultery & Divorce Destroy Families

Adultery Destroys Family

Adultery is any sexual act outside the confines of marriage. Sexual actions are only to be done by a husband and wife. Many will ask how far can I go before it is adultery? Jesus answers this question. The moment lust for a person enters the heart it is sin. You do not even have to participate in the act for it to be sin. So doe the Bible mean that if I look at a person and admire their beauty I am sinning. No! There is a difference between admiring someone’s beauty and lusting. Admiring has no desire of possession. Lust does. Lust causes one to take the admiration of someones beauty and use it of their own self-pleasure. Jesus basically says that when you possess someone in your heart (sexually) that He doesn’t intend for you to have it is sin.

Premarital Adultery

This is adultery prior to marriage. So why is sex a sin before I get married?

13 Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, however God will do away with both of them. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. 14 Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are parts of Christ? Shall I then take away the parts of Christ and make them parts of a prostitute? Far from it! 16 Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” 17 But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18 Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought for a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

This passage of scripture shows that intimacy is more than a mere physical act. It is a spiritual act. Paul says that when we join ourselves to someone intimately we have joined together spiritually. That is why the Bible says man shall leave His mother and Father and become one flesh with their spouse. When a couple consummates their marriage through intimacy they become one flesh and they are joined spiritually as well. This is the beauty of marriage! When a person has intimacy outside marriage they are coming together in flesh and spiritually. This is an unholy consummation that is immoral to God. He does not bless it but instead applies cursing to it.

Whenever a person is intimate with another person outside the bounds of marriage it is a sin before God. Sin always has consequences. The consequences of intimacy out side marriage is that it robs a person of the blessings that God has for a person in marriage. Intimacy out side marriage is like going through a divorce every time you do it. There is scarring hurt, and pain in divorce. Let me give you a practical example: Let’s say you fall madly in love with the person that God intended for you to marry and you decide to wait until your married before you are intimate. During your marriage counseling the pastor asks you to discuss your intimacy with other people with one another. This can be a very encouraging conversation or a very shameful and hurtful conversation. If you are a virgin then this is a very encouraging conversation. If you have had any other or multiple partners this will not be a very comfortable conversation.

Spiritually speaking intimacy is joining together the flesh. Every time you are intimate outside marriage that flesh is torn apart because it is not within the holy confines that keeps it together. When you tear flesh apart there is scarring. Scarring removes the sensitivity in that area of flesh. In essence the joy of intimacy in marriage becomes desensitized because of the scarring of other partners. Therefore, the intimacy God intended for your marriage can never be realized to the degree that He desires.

Needless to say, premarital adultery will affect your future marriage!

Adultery While Married.

Adultery in marriage will destroy a marriage. Intimacy in marriage is to be holy and honored.

4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Heb 13:4

Marriage is to be held in honor. God ordained the sanctity of marriage. It is important in His eyes. Couples are to cherish their marriage and protect it from anything that would hurt or destroy it.

The marriage bed is to be undefiled. This means that it is only to be used for a husband and a wife. Sex is sacred! Any violation of what God intended it to be will be dealt with by God

The sexual immoral and adulterer will be judged by God. The judgement often happens here on earth by the consequences of immorality or adultery.

I have found that marriages can withstand significant challenges. Adultery is perhaps the most difficult. Intimacy is held sacred to a husband and wife. It is shared only between them. When one goes beyond this and defiles the sacredness of the marriage bed there is immediately a broken trust. Sometimes this trust can be regained, but often it is not. This is an aspect of God’s judgment for adultery.

Adultery often leads to divorce. Not always, but my experience has been that more times than not divorce follows adultery.

Avoid anything that will make you sexually immoral

Divorce Destroys Family your eye or cut off your hand if it is going to make you sin. He is not saying this literally. He is using an extreme example to get his point across. If you pluck your eye out, then you cannot see. That is His point. Don’t put yourself in a position where your eyes will cause you to see something that will make you sin immorally in your heart. This could be a movie, magazine, or even a commercial.

Divorce Destroys Family

In this day marriage was not regarded as holy. It was on the very brink of becoming insignificant. During Jesus day a man could divorce his wife for any reason. All he had to do was give her a certificate of divorce with two witnesses and they were divorced. If she put too much salt in his dinner he could divorce her. If He found someone else that was more attractive he could give his wife a certificate of divorce. You see, divorce was too easy and there was no recourse for it.

Israel had taken that which God held in high regard and treated it like it was trash. Jesus addresses it by saying that unchastity was the only reason for divorce. Unchastity was adultery. If a woman commited adultery with another man he could divorce her. This is because the divorce had already happened when she slept with another man. She had become one flesh with another man. Legally a woman could not divorce her husband for any reason. However, I believe that a woman is within her right to divorce her husband because he broke the holy covenant of marriage and joined himself to anther woman.

I see a spiritual principal here. Adultery in marriage is divorce. This is simply my opinion. If a couple decides that they want to continue in the marriage after adultery I applaud that. However, after much counseling and healing I would like to see a renewal of their vows to one another. This is not scriptural, but just my opinion.

Divorce goes beyond a couple.

When a couple decides to divorce it affects children, family, friends and church. When a couple decides to divorce they have no control over how it is going to affect their children. The only time I have found divorce to be beneficial to a child is when abuse has occured or is occuring. Every other time a child is forced into a position of having to decide which parent they are going to live with.

Divorce affects family. They say when you marry someone you marry into the family. This is true because you form relationships with your spouses family. When a divorce occurs it is hard to figure out how to handle those relationships after the divorce.

Divorce affects friends. Most couples share friendships. When a divorce occurs it often puts a wedge in those friendships because it is uncomfortable because of the shared friendships. It is like they have to pick a side.

It hurts a church. Rarely does a divorced couple go to the same church. Often times both of them leave the church because their feelings have been hurt by church members over the divorce.