The Philosophy of Forgiveness
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Introduction:
Have you ever wronged someone?
Have you ever been wronged by someone?
Have you ever tried to be a mediator in order to help two people repair their relationship?
Love, mercy and grace are the things that are needed for forgiveness to take place and humility and honesty are needed for repentance. Philemon is all about that. The book of Philemon is short, it is only 1 chapter with 25 verses. But even though it is short in content, it is long on truth.
The book itself is a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to a leader in the early church named Philemon. Philemon had a slave named Onesimus. Onesimus had run away, encountered Paul and then was sent back to Philemon by Paul with this letter, the book of Philemon, in his hand.
It is also a beautiful picture of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ. Let me give you a couple things to look for as we read this book, so that when we read about the love, repentance, reconciliation and forgiveness seen in the lives of Paul, Philemon and Onesimus, you also see the parallel between us and Jesus.
Read Philemon 1-25
The Offending Party
The Offending Party
(Onesimus & us)
Explain why Onesimus was a slave and how it was very different than the awful and ungodly practice of slavery we think of today...
(Most slavery in the Bible was closer to borrower and lender relationship today than the slavery we think of. People could sell themselves to someone as a “slave” in order to buy land or property or to pay off debts. Onesimus was mostly likely one of those sorts of slaves. Instead of working off his debt or working to pay for what Philemon had done for him, he ran away and in doing so was stealing from Philemon. Onesimus was clearly in the wrong.)
Demonstrate complete repentance.
Demonstrate complete repentance.
(v. 10-11) “10 I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, 11 who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me.”
Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB)
“23 Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
Desire complete reconciliation.
Desire complete reconciliation.
Desire it, don’t demand it!
We need humility that recognizes we don’t deserve it.
(v. 15-16) “15 For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
Deliver complete repayment.
Deliver complete repayment.
(v. 12) “…I have sent him back to you…”
(v. 18-19) “18 But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account; 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it…”
The Offended Party
The Offended Party
(Philemon and God)
Philemon was the offended party. He had been wronged by Onesimus’ sin.
10 I appeal to you for my child cOnesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment,
11 who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me.
12 I have sent him back to you in person
I bet you can relate to Philemon. Maybe someone has wronged you. Maybe you’ve been hurt by someone else’s sin. You’ve likely been betrayed or mistreated by another.
How does God want you to respond? Whether the offense was recent or a long time ago, God still wants the offense dealt with, by you, His way.
How does God want the offended party respond?
Examine proper perspective.
Examine proper perspective.
(v. 8) “…what is proper…”
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
(v. 15-16) “15 For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
(v. 19b) “…not to mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well…”
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Extend full forgiveness.
Extend full forgiveness.
Full forgiveness requires release.
(v. 18) “But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account…”
Full forgiveness requires restoration.
(v. 17) If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me.”
(v. 16) “…no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
Exude lasting love.
Exude lasting love.
(v. 4-5) “4 I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints…”
(v. 9) “…for love's sake I rather appeal to you…”
(v. 21) “Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say.”
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
The Objective Peacemaker
The Objective Peacemaker
(Paul & Jesus)
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
Pray for everyone involved.
Pray for everyone involved.
(v. 4-6) “4 I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints; 6 and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ's sake.”
Before Paul did reached out as a peacemaker He prayed to the Giver of Peace.
(James 4:2) “...You do not have, because you do not ask.”
Ponder the Facts
Ponder the Facts
(v. 10) “I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment…”
Paul reaches out because he was responsible to God for Onesimus.
(v. 5) “…I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints…”
Paul knew that Philemon had a reputation as a man that loved God and loved others.
The next thing is that Paul knew what God wanted to happen…
(v. 7-9) “7 For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. 8 Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, 9 yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you—since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—"
Paul also considered that Philemon couldn’t and shouldn’t be forced or manipulated to forgive...
(v. 14) “…without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will.”
Pay the price.
Pay the price.
Being a peacemaker will cost your something.
(v. 11-12) “11 who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me. 12 I have sent him back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart,
Paul send Onesimus back even though it cost him greatly. He was losing a major source of encouragement. He lost a helping hand for sure. It took him time to do it AND writing this letter wasn’t easy either.
(v. 19) “I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand...”
(v. 13-14) “...whom I wished to keep with me, so that on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel; 14 but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will.”
Paul needed help while he was in prison and Onesimus was providing that help. But Paul wasn’t selfish, he knew that forgiveness and restoration was more important than his own comfort. (Being a peacemaker isn’t “comfortable”)
(v. 17-18, 19b) “17 If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me. 18 But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account...I will repay it…”
Paul was also willing to pay anything and everything that Onesimus owed.
(v. 19) “…you owe to me even your own self as well…”
Paul was also spending his relational capital.
Point to the Gospel.
Point to the Gospel.
(v. 15-16) “ For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
Being a peacemaker is ultimately a great opportunity to point people to Jesus. Don’t waste it. It is a good thing for people to have their relationships with each other restored but it is and even greater thing for someone to have their relationship with God restored. So make sure to point people to Jesus.