Family Matters

Introduction

We all wonder sometimes where we can practically fulfill ministry to others. Many of us dream of doing missions in a far off land, some of us want to become pastors and preachers, others teachers, etc. but we often times leave out how important it is to be that example within our own home or at our current jobs that we are in now. Last week we ended with the statement “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, give thanks to God the Father through him.” And Paul is going to continue by telling us the importance of doing that first within our own families and work places. This is part of the new nature: that Christ releases you to be TRULY human, and you must now learn to express your true self according to the divine pattern, not in self-assertion but in self-giving.

How to treat your spouse

Paul offers a careful balance. Neither person is supposed to be arrogant or dominating.

Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” The wife must resist the temptation to rule her husband’s life and the husband must make sure that his love for his wife, always puts her interests first.

Both people must be FIRST submitted to the Lord then submit to each others role that God has ordained for the husband and the wife. Headship does not mean dictatorship or lordship but it is loving leadership. Girls, when you find the right guy that puts Christ above you and shepherds your relationship the way God wants…make sure that you don’t domineer over them. Allow them to lead. Guys make sure that you love like a servant. Put her before yourself. Lay down your life for her and her growth in Christ. Serve her the way Christ has served the church.

These guidelines for a healthy marriage aren’t there to push another above the other but they are there and set in place by God so that we may know what it means to be truly free: free to mature and develop within the creative context of mutual love and respect.

How to treat your parents

Paul addresses children as members of the church in their own right…and he gives them both responsibilities and rights. The gospel is breaking new ground here too. At different times verse 20 can be overemphasized and too much strictness from parents happens. Sometimes verse 21 is too overemphasized and kids are allowed to roam free with no consequences resulting in the trampling of other family, friends, and anyone else in the way. But both are extremely necessary. Children need discipline and so do parents.

Students, obey your parents. God desires for you to be obedient to your parents. It’s that simple. You may want to rebel, act out, use your parents word against them, find ways to manipulate them into getting your way but resist that temptation. Satan desires for you to cause chaos within the home because it puts a strain on every relationship in the house. Satan wants to rip the family apart because a dysfunctional family spreads into and results in a dysfunctional city, to a dysfunctional state, to a dysfunctional country. Satan attacks everyone and he wants you to create dysfunction in your family and he starts with your relationship with your parents. So resist. Put on the new self and put to death the old self. Do what is right and what God commands of us and in turn we will live TRULY HUMAN and free.

Parents (if you’re watching) don’t provoke your children because they will become discouraged. When they continually hear both verbally and non-verbally that they are of little value (even within the family), they come to believe it, and they either will sink down in self-hatred or overreact with boastful self-assertion. So parents…live out the gospel to your children: assure them that they are loved and accepted and valued for who they are, not for who they ought to be, should have been, or might (if only they would try a little harder) become. Obedience should never be the condition of whether or not a child feels love or is given love. AND THIS IS HUGE: When the parent is obedient to the job of genuine love, the child’s obedience may become, like that of the Christian to God, a glad and loving response.

How to treat your boss

The first point here (that can be applied to all levels of labor) is that Christian work must be given completely and totally to the task at hand. Not just doing the minimum required to avoid rebuke, with a show of effort only when someone is watching. Our work is part of our worship. God desires for us to represent him in every aspect of our lives even in the workplace. The Christian should be the hardest and most devoted worker in the office. And even as you work low level seemingly meaningless work or jobs…they are important and God has placed you there for a reason. You may be flipping burgers, bagging groceries, working a cash register, babysitting kids, doing lawnwork for others, etc. but whatever you’re doing should be done on purpose and for a purpose. Others are watching and others will associate your work with your faith. If you’re lazy and lousy at your work others (especially your boss) will take notice and associate your laziness with your relationship with your God. ALL THINGS MUST BE DONE TO THE GLORY OF GOD. (Colossians 3:17)

Since our work is worship, our reward isn’t earthly but heavenly. We try to work solely for the approval of our boss or to be seen so we may receive a raise, promotion, etc. but when we understand that our reward isn’t ultimately going to come from our boss but our heavenly Father we work whole heartedly for a different purpose. We work to please the Lord. We go above and beyond because Christ went above and beyond for us. We seek to be peacemakers and promoters of hope in our workplace because God set that in our hearts where the Holy Spirit resides. And if you do get promotions or if you are over others Paul addresses you too.

This is a revolutionary thought in Paul’s day and even now during our time. Paul is emphasizing the dignity and humanity of all people. Paul doesn’t directly protest slavery in his statement but his remark would strike slavery at the heart because he promotes justice and fairness or equality in relation to slavery which was NOT a social norm during that time. Masters were usually cruel and only saw their slaves as items but Paul is saying no. He is promoting for Christian Masters to see them as human beings and treat them as such. All of these things are lived out “for the Lord” and all of these things create true freedom in the new self not complete bondage in the old self.

Conclusion & Application